Incorrect Daalp Quotes

Interdimensional Convenience Stores Are Gay Culture

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“Power move: saying ‘that's treason’ every time someone does something that mildly inconveniences you.”

— Manager

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“We’re really out here. Pretending we know what we’re doing. Trying to look as gay as possible. Disappointing our parents.”

— Icarus

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Kennedy: Oh my God, you're relentless.

Oswin: Well, I take that as a compliment.

Kennedy: Then you heard it wrong.

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Elliot: I mean, what if I fall for her and she doesn't like me?

Kennedy: Then you'll find someone else.

Elliot: But what if there is no one else?

Kennedy: Then you'll buy some cats.

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Icarus: Hey, you know what I just realized? "Oy" is the funniest word in the entire world.

Jeremy: Hmm.

Icarus: I mean think about it, you never hear the word "oy" and not smile. Impossible. Funny, funny word.

Kiera: Oh dear God.

Icarus: "Poodle" is another funny word. In fact, if you put "oy" and "poodle" together, in the same sentence, you'd have a great new catchphrase, you know? Like, "Oy with the poodles already."

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“People are particularly stupid today and I can’t talk to anymore of them.”

— Kennedy

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Jeremy: I know you think my judgement's clouded because I like him a little bit.

Kiera: You doodled your wedding invitation.

Jeremy: No, that's our joint tombstone.

Kiera: My mistake.

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Kennedy: We are screwed.

Elliot: Hey, no, hey. I don't wanna hear that defeatist attitude... I wanna hear you upbeat!

Kennedy: [more upbeat] We are screwed!

Elliot: There ya go.

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Jeremy: You guys don’t think I’ll be alone at 50, right?

Kiera: Aw, come on. You’re not gonna make it to 50.

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Jeremy: I made a marshmallow Kennedy. See? His arms are crossed because he’s mad at all the other marshmallows for annoying him. You like it?

Kennedy: [choked up] It’s okay.

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Elliot: Hey, Kennedy? Can I get some dating advice?

Kennedy: Just because I’m with Eugene doesn’t mean I know how I did it.

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Kennedy: Shut your damn mouth.

Manager: No need to curse.

Kennedy: There most certainly is.

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Manager: You're so boring.

Razvan: I'm actually not boring. I'm pretty exciting.

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I’m Mr. Crowbar and this is my friend, who is also a crowbar.

Manager

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Eugene: I love you so much.

Kennedy:I love you too.

Eugene: This is real.

Kennedy: I know.

Eugene: You’re my husband. You married me in front of people.

Kennedy: I did. I was there.

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Icarus: “Cheap things to do in [x] city” never consider that anything is possible if you’re not a coward. You can cry in public. You can scream in public. You can get completely naked and try to hail a taxi. The possibilities are endless. You can enter the lobby of an olive garden and then leave the olive garden. You can do this as many times as you want until they call the cops. That's called free will baby. You could steal someone's lawn furniture. You could die. You could curl into a little ball in a Rite-Aid. Who fucking knows honey?

Kiera: Are you okay?

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Jeremy: Not being dramatic or anything, but I think I’ve actually spent about 10 months of this year tired and sad.

Icarus: But at least you’re gay, right?

Jeremy: At least I’m gay.