Incorrect Double Decker! Doug & Kirill Quotes

me: haha double decker is just anime b99 me: ...

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Pat: You know, I’ve always wondered. How can detectives do their job without crying? Doug: As a detective let me tell you It gets like super close dude

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Kirill: So, how’s the most handsome man in the world doing? Doug, not looking up from his desk: I don’t know, how are you? Kirill, trying not to cry: I’m fine.

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Max: When you said you were “magical in bed” this isn’t exactly what I was exp— Yuri, holding up an 8 of hearts: Is this your card? Max, softly: Holy shit

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Doug: Shut up. Kirill: I didn’t even say anyth— Doug: You were thinking. It’s annoying.

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Deana: Hey, Rookie, thanks for the support in the last case. Have a nice, hot cup of coffee. Kay: Oh, thank you, Deana, that’s nice of—it’s cold. Deana: Nice cup of coffee, then. Kay: It’s disgusting. Deana: Cup of Coffee. Kay: I’m not even sure it’s coffee. Deana: Cup

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they’re reacting to either travis and/or derick change my mind

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me, remembering this account and rubbing my grubby hands together: hehehehehe meme time,

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Kirill, upon thinking Kay has a crush on him and acts Like That™: Why am I so sweaty??  Kay: Why are you so sweaty?  Kirill, voice cracking as he nervously laughs: It's a puberty thing.  Kay: Kirill: Kirill: I don't know why I said that. I'm not going through puberty! I mean, I did, but I'm done, I'm [deeper voice] a man. 

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Doug: I know you went off by yourself, Kirill.

Kirill, internally: Quick play dumb!

Kirill, externally: Who’s Kirill?

Kirill: Not that dumb!

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Yuri: If I run and leap at Max, she will almost certainly catch me in her arms.

Yuri: [runs at Max]

Max: YURI PLEASE I’M HOLDING COFFEE!

Max: [drops coffee on the floor and catches Yuri]

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Kirill: It’s like chess. Sometimes, to win, you have to sacrifice your king.

Kay: That’s exactly how you lose.

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alright spam done but ill be setting up some quotes to q just in case i forget again

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Being able to read Doug's handwriting is a gift. A useless, useless gift.

Kirill Vrubel, exasperated after having to be called in Travis’s office just to translate another one of Doug’s illegible files

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Doug: Do you want to know how I really hurt my wrist?

Deana: Yes.

Doug: I was hoola hooping. Kirill and I attended a class for fitness and for fun.

Deana: Oh my god.

Doug: I’ve mastered all the moves. The pizza toss, the tornado, the scorpion, the oopsie doodle.

Deana: Why are you telling me this?

Doug: Because no one will ever believe you.

Deana: You sick son of a bitch.

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Apple: Why does everyone hate my Ska band?

Deana: Because it’s a fucking Ska band.

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Doug, about to prank Kirill for the nth time: Do you trust me?

Kirill: Yeah.

Doug: Wait, what? Why?