Matt: Hrrrrnnggh Nolegs, Iâm trying to sneak around but iâm dummy thicc and the clap from my ass cheeks keeps alerting the fascists

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@incorrectebfquotes
Matt: Hrrrrnnggh Nolegs, Iâm trying to sneak around but iâm dummy thicc and the clap from my ass cheeks keeps alerting the fascists
Lance: Failure is not an option.
Matt: Which is fine by me, because I do not intend to fail. I vow to do the opposite of fail.
Natalie: You mean succeed?
Matt: No, I will not succ-eed. No one will be sucking seed.
Lance, aiming his gun at a cat: Tell me the name of god you feline piece of shit.
Cat: Can you feel your heart burning? Can you feel the struggle within? The fear within me is beyond anything your soul can make. You cannot kill me in a way that matters.
Lance, cocking his gun, tears streaming down his face: I'M NOT FUCKING SCARED OF YOU!
lance: [raising his arm to cover up the "s" in shoes so it says "hoes]
anna: lance stop you look like a nazi
matt: [on the phone] yo im here open up
lance: as a child i was forced to eat dog food for dinner-
matt: open the fuckin door
Natalie: Do you ever want to talk about your emotions, Lance?
Lance: No.
Matt: I do!
Natalie: I know, Matt.
Matt: I'm sad.
Natalie: I know, Matt.
Natalia: Arson is legal and itâs the only way to get to Heaven.
NoLegs: Donât fuck with me! I have the power of God AND anime on my side!
Anna: Matt and I slept together.
Natalie:Â And?
Anna: I thought you would be a little more shocked.
Natalie: Oh, sorry.
Natalie, in a shocked voice: And?!
Annabelle:Â Whoa, youâre being a little-
Lancelot:Â OBSTREPEROUS? RECALCITRANT? TRUCULENT?
Annabelle: I was going to say âcray-cray.â
Annabelle:Â I pranked him to death, with a tire iron~! -w-
Dark Matt:
Lance:Â Please. Picking locks is my specialty.
Lance: *Throws a brick through a window*
Lance:Â Okay, letâs go!
Matt:
Dark Anna, reading a fortune cookie:Â "If you kill a killer, the number of killers in the world stays the same." Huh.
Dark Matt:Â Kill two.
Matteus: Annabelleâs at that very special age where she only has one thing on her mind.
Natalia:Â Boys?
Matteus:Â Homicide.
Matt:Â Wow Lance, youâre really handsome!
Lance:Â Donât be jealous Matt, youâre handsome too.
Matt:Â I wasnât being jealous, Lance, I was being gay.
Lance: Studies have shown that keeping an open ladder in a house is more dangerous than a loaded gun. Thatâs why I own ten guns. Just in case some maniac tries to sneak in a ladder!
sword lesbian this, sword lesbian that, will anyone spare a thought for bow and arrow lesbians in these melee fighting times
me (a lesbian) pulls out my bow, notches an arrow, winks at my lady love and says âthe only thing straight about me is my shootingâ before skewering the sheriff of nottinghamÂ
-Anna, probably