incorrect trigun quotes

completely true and accurate transcripts of conversations overheard on no man's land

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Vash: You tricked me!

Knives: I deceived you, Vash. Tricked makes it sound like we have a playful relationship.

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Vash: So you think there's a god?

Wolfwood: Well, somebody's out to get me.

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Meryl: Did I see you and Wolfwood eating turkey chili off a frisbee?

Vash: Yeah. It was really cute, right?

Meryl: No. Do you know what cute means?

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Elendira: All men are at least 30% attracted to me.

Elendira: My mother cried the day I was born, because she knew she would never be better than me.

Elendira: I feel like I'm the Paris of people.

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Vash: It's really good to see you, Knives.

Knives: You've aged horribly.

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Wolfwood: I am straight-up depressed. Milly's been doing her best to cheer me up. She gave me a sticker this morning just for waking up.

Vash: It's like you're dating your teacher.

Wolfwood: I know, it's so hot.

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Vash: I screwed up, big time.

Wolfwood: Given your daily life experiences, you're gonna have to be more specific.

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Meryl: Hello! I don't believe we've met. I am Meryl Stryfe, from the Bernardelli --

Knives: I don't think it will be necessary for you to speak again while I'm here.

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Wolfwood: Talk to Vash, that's what brothers do.

Knives: No. I'm going to wait until I'm on my deathbed, get in the last word, and then die immediately.

Wolfwood: That's your plan for dealing with this?

Knives: That's my plan for dealing with everything. I have seventy-seven arguments I'm going to win that way.

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Vash: What cute little nickname do you call your husband?

Knives: Legato.

Vash: Adorable.

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Meryl: This is my boyfriend, Vash.

Meryl: And this is Vash's boyfriend, Wolfwood.

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Meryl: Vash, why do you have your shirt off?

Vash: Can't spill food on your shirt if you're not wearing one.

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Vash: I'm so hungover. I've never been this hungover. Are we dead?

Wolfwood: I feel great. I ran a marathon this morning.

Vash: Really?

Wolfwood: No, I threw up in the shower.

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Vash: Be careful out there. It's ass eating season.

Meryl: Vash, what do you think "ass eating season" means?

Vash: There's frost on the porch. It's slippery. You'll fall and eat ass.

Meryl: Who told you that? Who are you hanging out with?

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Vash: I don't like to throw around the word "butthead" often. If you call everyone a butthead, it kind of loses its impact.

Vash: But I can say without hesitation that Knives is being a real dick.

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Meryl: So, your brother's a bit of a nightmare.

Vash: I wouldn't say that. I mean, at most, he's a daymare.

Meryl: Those are so much scarier.

Vash: Yeah.

[townhous-e]

@incorrectgunsmoke