IncorrectR&J

Just Richie and Jane

[incorrectjane]

Nancy: if you don’t cut it out I’m telling Jane

Richie: I’m a grown man she doesn’t scare me

Nancy: JANE—

Richie: WAIT NO!

[incorrectjane]

Jane: my standards are very high

Olivia, looking at Richie: I doubt that

[incorrectjane]

Jane: what did you do.

Richie: alright, but you can’t get mad at me

Jane: what. Did you do?

Richie: okay, first I was minding my own business-

Jane: [slams hands on table] BULLSHIT!

Richie: I WAS!

[incorrectjane]

Richie: I’m home!!

Jane: Richie get your ass over here!

Richie: a “hi” would be nice

Jane: hi, now get over here

Richie: okay, okay! I’m comin- what happened

Jane: *sniffles* HE JUST WANTED TO SAVE THE DOGGY! *is drowning in tissues, chocolate and five blankets*

[incorrectjane]

Jane, trying to flirt: I really like your name!

Richie: thanks! I got it for my birthday

Nancy, whispering into jane’s ear: you sure you want that?

[incorrectjane]

Jane: shit, the power went out

Richie: don’t worry,I got this.

Richie: *shakes rapidly and starts to light up*

Jane: what-

Richie: I swallowed a glow stick

Jane,on the verge of tears: WHY WOULD YOU-

[incorrectjane]

Stranger: is this man bothering you?

Jane:yes, but that’s my husband, I signed up for this.

[incorrectjane]

Richie: janey, would you like a cup of coffee

Jane: yes please!!

Richie: how dark do you want it?

Jane: as dark as my soul!!

Richie:

Richie, confused: so…you want a cup of milk?

[incorrectjane]

Jane: okay I need some sleep, I can’t stay up late…

Richie: hey, can we talk? I need some help it might take all night tho so if you can’t it’s fine….

Jane: *already making tea and wrapping Richie in a blanket* what kind of bullshit has the world put you through now babe?

[incorrectjane]

Jane: if we lose, your out the will.

Richie: I was in the will?

[incorrectjane]

Olivia: why is your tongue purple?

Jane: we had slushies. I had blue.

Richie: and I had red.

Olivia: oh.

Olivia:

Olivia: OH!

Cynthia:

Cynthia: you drank each others slushies?

[incorrectjane]

Richie: this pushpop bangin yo!

Jane: babe. That’s a glue stick

[incorrectjane]

Richie: WHO ATE MY YOGURT?!

Richie: IM GOING TO FUCKING K-

Jane: I did?

Richie: kiss you and buy you some more, you honestly haven’t been eating enough janey *walks away*

Jane: he’s gone potato

Potato, coming out the closet with yogurt stuffed in his mouth: twankh uh

[incorrectjane]

Jane talking to Olivia:

Jane: I have very high standards, I’d never date anyone clu-

Richie walks in, tripping & falling face first on the floor: ahhh shit, oh hey guys!

Jane points at Richie: I want them

[incorrectjane]

Richie: I was attracted to you first

Jane: well, I confessed first

Richie: well, I asked you out first

Jane: well, I said I loved you first

Richie: oh well…

Richie: *gets down on one knee*

Richie: I proposed first

Cynthia: WAIT WHAT?!

[incorrectjane]

Jane: have you heard of Murphy’s law

Richie : yeah. What is it?

Jane: if something can go wrong. It will go wrong

Richie: right. Have you heard of cole’s law

Jane: no, what is it?

Richie: thinly sliced cabbage

[incorrectjane]

Gil: what are you reading?

Richie: just a book of things I like

Gil: Richie.that’s just a photo album of Jane

Richie: what a coincidence…