things john green never said

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"Maybe 'turn down for what' will be our always."

John Green

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Some dicks are bigger than other dicks.

John Green

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i fell in love with the way your balls dropped first slowly then all at once

John Green

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Sometimes, you read a book and it fills you with this weird urge to urinate, and you become convinced that the shattered world will never be put back together unless and until you urinate.

John Green

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"That's the thing about genitals," Augustus said, and then glanced back at me. "They demand to be touched."

John Green

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What a treacherous thing to believe that Cole Sprouse is more than a peasant.

John Green

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What a treacherous thing to believe that a pizza is more than a pizza.

John Green

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We need never be hopeless, because we can never be Mr. Rogers.

-John Green

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If you have an idea, submit it! I'm only one person running this blog and I can only come up with so many quotes on my own.

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The Venn Diagram of boys who don't date smart girls and boys you don't want to date is an elephant.

John Green 

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I fell in love the way you eat pizza rolls: first five, then the whole fucking box.

John Green

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My thoughts are grains of rice I can’t fathom into rice crispy treats.

John Green

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If people were rain, I was a wet sock and she was a dry sock.

John Green

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I fell in love the way you fall asleep: you close your eyes, and then snore.

John Green

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If people were rain, I was a lizard and she was Lil Wayne.

John Green

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If people were rain, I was Miss Frizzle and she was David Blaine.

John Green

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My thoughts are poops I can’t fathom into diarrhea.

John Green