yoinks scoob

[incorrectk3vquotes]

Veronica: My ex boyfriend still misses me.

Veronica: But his aim is getting better!

Couple:

Veronica: But his aim is getting better!

Couple:

Veronica: ... It's funny cause relationships are terrible.

[incorrectk3vquotes]

Michael, with the baby in a baby stroller: Uh, Jared, I'm actually trying not to curse in front of the baby, so if you could not-

Jared: Oh, I completely understand, what words are you trying to avoid?

Jared: Is it things like hell, damn, fuck, shit, bitch, cunt, ass, cock, dick, cockface, dickface, dickhead, dickwad, cocksmoker, cocksucker?

Jared: What about words like tits, pussy, twat, snatch, clitface, cuntface, thundercunt, dipshit, douchebag, dumbass or dumbfuck?

Jared, now kneeling in front of the baby: I'm SURE you're trying to avoid words like bullshit, bastard, bitchtits, buttfucker, asshole, ass-hat, assclown, asswipe, jackass, shithead, shitface, and whore, right?

Jared: Are we counting words like piss, cum, cum-dumpster, and cum-guzzler?

Jared, standing up: OH GODDAMMIT!

Jared: I ALMOST forgot about fucker, fuckface, fuckstick, fuckwad, fuckboy, clusterfuck, and of course...

Michael:

Jared:

Michael:

Jared: Motherfucker.

[incorrectk3vquotes]

Ryan: If America had a dick, I would suck America's di -

Evan: Okay, Ryan, um, pretty good.

[incorrectk3vquotes]

Veronica: Are you being annoying? Try Out Of My Life™!

Veronica: Works great on family, AND friends!

Veronica: Get OUT OF MY LIFE™!! ... Now!

[incorrectk3vquotes]

Mickey: How do I get Max to like me?

Jared: The same way you would get anyone to like you.

Mickey: I'm still trying to figure that out.

[incorrectk3vquotes]

Jay: You’re smiling. Did something good happen?

JJ: Can’t I just smile because I’m happy and I feel like it?

Adam: Jared tripped and fell in the parking lot.

[incorrectk3vquotes]

Evan: I’m really sorry about what I did.

Ryan: Oh, we can’t stay mad at you!

Jared: Yes, we can.

[incorrectk3vquotes]

JD: What if...

Veronica: I don't like sentences that begin with what if.

JD: Let's assume...

Veronica: Why's that better?

[incorrectk3vquotes]

Mickey [to Jared]: Oh my god, that dress looks great.

Mickey: And I bet they would look better on my brother's floor.

Michael: Are you hitting on Jared... for me?

[incorrectk3vquotes]

Jeremy: How many popsicles have you eaten today?

Mickey, laying in a bed of popsicle wrappers: Now is not the time to talk about my personal flaws as a human.

[incorrectk3vquotes]

Jared: Do you know what Sin City is?

Adam: Yeah, that's Las Vegas.

Jared: Then do you know what Den City is?

Adam: No.

Jared: Mass over volume.

Adam:

[incorrectk3vquotes]

Jared: I'm putting my foot down! [Gently slams foot into the ground.

Max: Dad--

Jared: Am I making myself clear? [Fades]

Max: I'm sorry.

Jared: Hi sorry, I'm dad.

[incorrectk3vquotes]

Jared: I want to learn sign language.

Max: Oh yeah? Why's that?

Jared: Just because... It can be...

Max: Please no.

Jared: QUITE HANDY

Max:

[incorrectk3vquotes]

Veronica: When you've been in Westerburg for as long as I have, you develop thick skin.

Heather D: Navy blue's not your color.

Veronica: ...Navy blue brings out my EYES YOU PRICK -

[incorrectk3vquotes]

Anyone: You really going out in that?

Madeline, slamming her hand into the wall in rhythm, almost rapping: FIRST OF ALL, I look good in this shirt - And SECOND OF ALL, I look good in this shirt - And THIRD OF ALL I look good in this shirt - So tell me I don't look good in this shirt!

[incorrectk3vquotes]

JD: HEY boys and girls! It's JD'S EXISTENTIAL KIDS KORNER!

JD: The word of the day is: FUTILE! As in: "Your FUTILE existence has no meaning!"

JD: Mickey, do YOU know any other words that start with F?

Mickey: Fsteak.

JD: EXCELLENT!

[incorrectk3vquotes]

Cy: Oh shoot.

Cy: Excuse my vulgarity.

Jared: I'll let it slide.