shitpost begins.

misfiled and vaguely incoherent statements of various the magnus archives characters, recorded straight from subjects. statements begin. (it's just an incorrect quotes blog about the magnus archives. you know the drill.)

[dog-coded-characters-tournament]

WHO’S A GOOD DOGGIE? 🐾

Javert (Les Misérables)

Alice “Daisy” Tonner (The Magnus Archives)

Voting ended onMar 16

Propaganda:

Javert

"Give a human face to this dog son of a wolf, and it will be Javert."

that guy has reached a critical mass of dog comparisons per sentence

Literally a dog. He's Valjean's dog so that's also gay and we love that. Direct quotes from the book: "Javert, serious, was a watchdog." "When he had so unexpectedly encountered Jean Valjean on the banks of the Seine, there had been in him something of the wolf which regains his grip on his prey, and of the dog who finds his master again." "...to be the watch-dog, and to lick the intruder’s hand!"

His entire storyline is that he is the law's faithful hunting dog. His storyline revolves around chasing and hunting down this one man. And when he finally comes face to face with him he forsakes his original master and is torn apart by his loyalty and his sense of justice

[shittykinaesthetics]

Shitty Hezekiah Wakely aesthetic: a weighted blanket could have saved him

[shittykinaesthetics]

Shitty Michael Shelley aesthetic: if ever there was an argument for quiet quitting, it was this. look at what going above and beyond because you feel bad for your frail old lady boss gets you.

[errorsystemfailure]

so how bout that episode 23, huh

[errorsystemfailure]

clash of the titans

[sexymanotddd]

FINAL ROUND: Sans (Undertale) vs. Cecil Gershwin Palmer (Welcome to Night Vale)

Sans

Cecil

Voting ended onJan 30, 2023

Tumblr Sexyrematch info

[sexymanotddd]

Arataka Reigen (Mob Psycho 100) vs. Cecil Gershwin Palmer (Welcome to Night Vale)

Reigen

Cecil

Voting ended onJan 29, 2023

Tumblr Sexyrematch info

[incorrectmagnusarchives]

oh I do not have anything nice to say so I simply will not be saying anything at all

[speakofrevelations]

hooper silt verses and elias magnus archives exchange passive aggressive emails about all the ways they’ve tormented their employees recently. each of them privately think that the other one is tacky and gauche

[incorrectmagnusarchives]

reminder that I can now mostly be found having podcast opinions about the silt verses at @speakofrevelations

[mobydyke]

mr sims you promised

[littlemushroomboi]

Based on this post by @incorrectmagnusarchives

[incorrectmagnusarchives]

jon finds this in his office at the beginning of s4

[incorrectmagnusarchives]

Hey kids, we all like podcasts here at incorrectmagnusarchives dot tumblr dot com, don’t we? Yeah we do. Well if there’s a gaping void of horror podcasts in your life right now due to the mid-season hiatus, might I suggest attempting to fill it with the newly released first episode of The Silt Verses? It’s done by the I Am In Eskew folks, it’s a very promising folk horror romp, and the leads are all a real treat to listen to. Go check it out, take a peek at their website, their Patreon, all that good shit -- I’m so excited to see where this story leads!

[incorrectmagnusarchives]

Basira, yelling at Elias while he’s in prison: How could you DO this? The archival employees RELIED on any useful information you could give us and you DESERTED them! You left us in the hands of - of - HIM!  [points at Peter Lukas]

Basira:  [turns to Peter] No offence.

Peter: No, I’m with you.

[incorrectmagnusarchives]

@butterfly-shade​ how fucking DARE you be funnier than me on my own post

[image id: tumblr reply from user butterfly-shade.

Elias, singing: I have eyes that can see right through lead-

Basira: You’re horrible! 

Peter: Granted, you have talent.

/END ID]

[incorrectmagnusarchives]

Tim: Hey, Jon, who's your favourite muppet?

Jon: The vampire.

Sasha: He doesn't count!

Jon: I can assure you he does.

[incorrectmagnusarchives]

Jon: Other than cooking, what other basic life skills don't I have?

Georgie: Oh Jon, I'm not sure we have time for this conversation today.