Jessica: This may shock you, Trish, but I come from a long line of wives and mothers.
Trish: Many do.

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@incorrectmarveltv
Jessica: This may shock you, Trish, but I come from a long line of wives and mothers.
Trish: Many do.
Daisy: Guys, guys! Let's just take a vote.
Deke: Secret vote! Everybody cover your eyes.
*Everyone covers their eyes*
Simmons: We won't know the result!
Fitz: Well, say your vote out loud.
Mack: We'll know each other's voices.
Deke: Daisy's got a point.
Simmons: I'm volunteering at the animal hospital!
Deke: Animal hospital?!
Mack: The animals are the patients.
Deke:...that makes sense.
Danny: Dinner's ready! Fresh out the oven.
Matt: I thought I heard a microwave.
Danny: Yeah, Matt, a microwave OVEN.
Deke: Who's out there?
Daisy: It's not a "who."
Daisy: At first I thought it was a ghost, but then it punched me in the face.
Deke: A ghost?!
Mack: No, she's saying it's NOT a ghost.
Daisy: Do you ever wonder about the apocalypse?
Daisy: Like, if you open your mouth in the nuclear rain, will it taste like cinnamon?
Daisy: Don't. Move.
Fitz: Not a problem. I hate moving.
Garrett: Come on, Ward, what is the one thing that we've wanted to dip our toes in?
Ward: Chocolat-
Garrett: HYDRA!
Ward (nodding):...HYDRA, yeah.
My hotline has never blung.
Deke, probably
*Phone Rings*
Daisy: It's Coulson. I didn't tell him what we were doing.
Simmons: I'll act natural.
Daisy: You're not gonna be on the phone call, just do nothing--Hey, Coulson!
Simmons (from behind her): WHAT DELICIOUS WATER I'M DRINKING!
Daisy: Rules are made to be broken.
Simmons: They were made to be followed, nothing is made to be broken.
Daisy: Uh, Pinatas.
Bobbi: Glow sticks.
Daisy: Karate boards.
Bobbi: Spaghetti when you have a small pot.
Daisy: Rules!
Matt: I wasn't hurt that badly.
Matt: Claire said all the bleeding was internal.
Matt: That's where the blood's supposed to be!
Karen: Hey-
Matt: Uh...New phone who dis?
Karen:
Matt:
Karen: You can't do that in real life, Matt.
Daisy: You need them to think that you’re stronger than you actually are.
Deke: Is that what you do?
Daisy: Me? Oh, no. My strength is no illusion. I can demolish you.
Jessica: So what do we do now?
Danny: If it helps, I matched with a really attractive girl on Tinder today.
Jessica: ...
Luke: ...
Matt: ...
Danny: I was waiting for it to come up naturally but it was taking too long.
Matt: Hey, Foggy, do you happen to know my blood type?
Foggy: B Positive.
Matt: Welp, I guessed wrong.
Matt: Hey Claire!-
Foggy, doing stand-up to a crowd of 5 people: So, my rent went up this year.
Foggy: You know what didn't go up?
Foggy: My salary!