this is all canon

Just doing god's work

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Hi All!!!

I haven’t stopped posting don’t worry, I just needed to take a lil break, school work has been eating up at me. We’ll be back to our regularly schedualed shitposts soon! 

Love you all!!

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Leo: Depression!? Isn't that just a fancy word for feeling "bummed out"?

Donnie: Leo, you ignorant slut.

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Raph: *sitting on top of the fridge* Hello April, welcome back!

April: Why are you on the fridge?

Raph: I live in this house, I can sit where I damn well please.

April:

April: Where's the spider?

Raph: Near the bathroom, I panicked.

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Splinter: How does one turn their emotions off?

Donnie: Okay, so first go to settings.

Donnie: Sorry, I misheard, I thought you said emojis at first.

Splinter: No, I'm still willing to try this, go ahead, I'm at settings, what do I do next?

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Raph: I want you to know that I care about you all very much.

Leo: You threatened to stab me with a pencil like three minutes ago.

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Mikey: Who knew sand could help so much with relaxing?

Leo: Bro, that's quicksand.

Mikey, now neck deep in sand: No the floor is just hugging me.

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Leo: Wanna hear some dark humor?

Donnie: Fine.

Leo: Okay.

Leo: Knock knock-

Donnie: I'm sick of your shit, turn the goddamn lights back on.

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donnie: why gender

leo: who gender

donnie: demolish gender

mikey: gender evaporated

raph: gender extinct

leo: gender unresponsive

april: gender flatlined

casey: gender lifeless

sunita: genderbusters

splinter: i just fucking said ladies and gentlemen

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Turtle Tot Leo: Dad?

Splinter: Yeah?

Leo: Could T-Rex Wipe his own butt?

Splinter: No.

Leo: No wonder he’s extinct.

[Source: XplodingUnicorn]

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Raph: This apple crumble is kinda gritty...

April: That's beach sand.

Raph:

April: And a seashell.

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Mikey: I know I’m a handful. But that’s why God gave you two hands!

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Donnie: I have the sharpest memory. Name one time I forgot something

Leo: You forgot me in a Walmart parking lot, like, three weeks ago.

Donnie: That was on purpose. Try again.

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April: When I first met you, I thought you were weird and annoying.

Donnie:

April:

Donnie: …and?

April: And you are,

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Leo: If I don't believe in god, of course I'm gonna have a god complex! Have you SEEN my pecs?

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Donnie: As you know, I keep a list of all my friends and family in order of how likely they are to betray me. We've established this.

April: Where am I on the list?

Donnie: Well I can't tell you that, because then you'll quickly move up or down depending on your reaction.

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Mikey: Change is inedible!

April: Don’t you mean inevitable?

Mikey, spitting out a bunch of pennies:

Mikey: No!

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April: So like, how many swords do you own?

Leo: Sword of a lot.

April: Blocked.

Leo: Parried.