Incorrect Scorpions

Not so original, but fun (sometimes) Disclaimer: This blog is created for entertainment purposes only. All content is meant as jokes/memes and is not intended to harm or offend anyone.

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1973

Rudolf: Michael, NO!

Klaus: What?

Rudolf: Sorry, force of habit.

Rudolf: Jürgen, NO!

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Matthias: No, no, that’s a bad idea.

Herman: There are no bad ideas. Only great ideas that go horribly wrong.

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*1974*

Klaus: we're lost.

Uli: lost? as in "where the hell are we?"

Rudolf: we're not totally lost! We're still in Germany!

Uli: you said this was a shortcut.

Rudolf: it is a shortcut! look how fast we got lost!

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Rudolf: If you bite it and you die, it’s poisonous. If it bites you and you die, it’s venomous.

Klaus: What if it bites me and it dies?

Francis: That means you’re poisonous

Herman: What if it bites itself and I die?

Rudolf: That’s voodoo.

Matthias: What if it bites me and someone else dies?

Francis: That’s correlation, not causation.

Matthias: What if we bite each other and neither of us die?

Herman: That’s kinky.

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Scorpions + Shitpostgenerator, pt. 2

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Scorpions + Shitpostgenerator

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The Obligatory Meme

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Herman:  Sarcasm will get you nowhere in life

Matthias: But It got me to the Sarcasm Championships in England back in 1977

Herman: Really?

Matthias: No.

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Matthias: I hate True and False. I think there should be a third option: Who’s To Say?

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Rudolf: Being the little spoon when you’re tall is the best because it’s like you’re wearing a backpack that loves you.

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Klaus: I still can’t believe that officer pulled you over just to tell you that you were driving perfectly.

Matthias: Why not? I was.

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Assigning DND classes to Scorpions members, part 2

Herman Rarebell – Fighter (Battle Master)

Timing, control

James Kottak – Barbarian (Path of the Storm Herald)

Huge personality, explosive playing style, chaotic energy

Francis Buchholz – Cleric (Forge Domain)

Holds everything together and supports

Uli Jon Roth – Druid (Circle of Stars)

Cosmic ethereal vibe, almost spiritual playing

Michael Schenker  - Socerer (Wild Magic)

“What if wild magic was a human” – brilliant, but quite unpredictable

Ralph Rieckermann — Artificer (Battle Smith)

Precise and adaptable

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Assigning DND classes to Scorpions members, part 1

Klaus Meine – Bard (College of Lore)

The strenght is in the words and voice

Rudolf Schenker – Paladin (Oath of Glory)

"My dream was always to be in one of the biggest bands in the world"

Alternative: Monk (Way of the Open Hand)

Clean, fundamental, powerful, kind of canon

Matthias Jabs – Wizard (Bladesinger)

Embodiment of performance and mastery

Alternative: Rogue (Swashbuckler)

Precision, flashy and elegant. Brings a knife to a magic fight and wins

Pawel Maciwoda – Ranger (Hunter)

Grounded, steady, keeps everything aligned

Mikkey Dee – Barbarian (Path of the Berserker)

Former Motörhead drummer, so you got the idea: loud, mighty, relentless tempo

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