Peter: my head hurts
MJ: that's your brain trying to comprehend its own stupidity

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@incorrectsmhquotes
Peter: my head hurts
MJ: that's your brain trying to comprehend its own stupidity
Liz: What do you normally say when you answer the phone?
MJ: What's up
Ned: Who dis be?
Peter: No he's dead, this is his son
Peter: I have had a very long day. I am very small and I have no money. So you can imagine the kind of stress I am under.
Teacher: What is love?
Michelle: a neurochemical con job
Peter: you look cute today, Ned
Ned: thanks, girl
Peter: this is one-hundred-percent-certified-for-realskies
Ned: I'm really nervous about this date tomorrow night. Do you have like, a first date outfit I could borrow? Like, I dunno, a pair of cargo pants? What about a sexy hat?
Flash: oh my god. I'm feeling it! I'm gonna break dance!
Michelle after hearing she's captain: I am usually not one for speeches, so goodbye
Ned: Peter, I typed up your symptoms into the thing up here, and it says you could have network connectivity problems
Peter: oh I have a medical condition all right. It's called caring too much! And it's incurable!
Peter: my anxiety has kept me up for over 50 hours.
Ned: sometimes you gotta work a little, so you can ball a lot
Michelle to Peter: my instinct is to be mean to you
Peter: I am 100% certain that I am 0% sure of what I'm going to do
Michelle: I'm not interested in caring about people
Peter: do you think doing alcohol is cool?