Cosmic Funnies
RMH
Xuebing Du
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
Origami Around
shark vs the universe
Mike Driver
Love Begins
Keni
🪼
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almost home
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if i look back, i am lost
KIROKAZE
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
TVSTRANGERTHINGS
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occasionally subtle
Monterey Bay Aquarium
seen from United States
seen from Malaysia
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Germany
seen from United States
seen from Belgium
seen from Malaysia
seen from Malaysia
seen from Türkiye
seen from United States
seen from Australia
seen from United States
seen from France
seen from Türkiye
seen from United States
seen from Saudi Arabia
@incorrectthehalfofit
Ellie: If you had 10 cookies and I asked for 5, how many would you have left?
Paul: None.
Ellie: Paul, this is basic math, don’t mess with m-
Paul: I would give them all to you because you’re my best friend.
Ellie, holding back tears: Gross. Absolutely disgusting. Get out of my sight immediately.
Paul: Welcome to me and Ellie’s-
Ellie: You mean “Ellie’s and my”
Paul: Right, welcome to Ellie’s and my podcast “A Straight Guy and a Lesbian Walk Into A Bar”
Aster: What are you guys doing in the closet?
Paul: Walking into a bar
Ellie: First of all, we’re recording the podcast, and second, the whole point is that I’m not in the closet
Aster: That’s it, I’m done
"I gotta tell you, at this point, the length of this conversation is way out of proportion to my interest in it." -- Ellie Chu
[after Paul's been in an accident]
Paul: Hey, do you happen to know my blood type? Ellie: Yeah. B positive. Paul: Well...I guessed wrong. Hey, nurse?
Paul: I'm trying to put this as delicately as I can... How do I know you won't kill me in my sleep?
Ellie: You don't know me, Munsky, so let me explain this to you once: If I ever kill you, you'll be awake, you'll be facing me, and you'll be armed.
Trig: Hey, Chu, 1996 called. It wants its clothes back.
Ellie: Hey, Trig, 2090 called. You're dead and you wasted your time on Earth.
Paul: I have an idea, but I'm gonna need your permission.
Ellie: Why would you need my permission?
Paul: Because if I mess it up, I don't want it to be just my fault.
Paul: Hey, how do you think we’ll pull this off?
Ellie: We’ll burn that bridge when we get to it.
Paul: …I’m pretty sure it’s we’ll ‘cross’ that bridge when we-
Ellie: Not in this case.
Aster: Aw, babe, you had a crush on me?
Ellie: We’re married.
Aster: Still.
Paul: *stabbing air between Ellie and Aster with a butter knife*
Ellie: What are you doing?
Paul: Trying to cut the sexual tension between you two.
Paul: It isn’t working.
Ellie:
Aster:
Ellie: Go away.
Aster: I’m sorry for stealing your heart...
Ellie: YOU KNOW DAMN WELL YOU ARENT-
Aster: Hey, I need your opinion about this couple, do you think they should date? Because I think they’d be perfect!
Ellie: Let me see a picture of them first.
Aster: *walks up beside Ellie and pulls out a mirror with the both of them reflected in it*
Ellie: Um, this is just a mirror, not a- OH WAIT THAT WAS SO SMOOTH
Aster: You made an entire fan account... dedicated to... my freckles?
Ellie, hiding her phone: *nervously sweating* No, of course not, what makes you think that way?
Aster: Paul's not here.
Ellie: Are you sure? Sometimes when he's here I get that feeling.
Paul: Boy, I wish I knew what was going on.
Ellie: I'll tell you later.
Paul: You always say that, Ellie, but you never do.
"No one can get the truth out of me, because even I don't know what it is. I keep myself in a constant state of utter confusion."
-Paul Munsky
Ellie: If the opposite of ‘pro’ is ‘con’
Ellie: and the opposite of progress is congress
Ellie: then the opposite of constitution is-
Aster: Let me stop you right there.