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🌤 ↳ 𝒍𝒆𝒕'𝒔 𝒑𝒓𝒆𝒕𝒆𝒏𝒅 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒔𝒆 𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒚 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒚 𝒔𝒂𝒊𝒅 ッ ↳ 𝘭𝘦𝘵'𝘴 𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘥 are things they really said ;)

[monthlymidlifecrisis]

Friend : Has kpop really taken over your life ?

Me :

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Junho: if i die donate my body to science

Junho: except for my middle finger

Junho: give it to Minhee

Minhee: fuck you too

Seungyoun: i’m more concerned about the fact that Junho said ‘if’ instead of ‘when’.

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Dohyon: i sleep with scissors under my pillow

Junho: weak, i sleep with a gun

Yohan: you’re both pathetic

Junho: what do you sleep with?

Yohan: Hangyul

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*without Seungwoo and Seungyoun*

Kidnapper: we have your son

Hangyul: let me speak with him

Kidnapper: go ahead you’re on speaker

Hangyul: dumbass

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Wooseok: if you like me, raise your hand.

Junho: what if i don’t like you though?

Wooseok: then raise your standard.

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Seungwoo: *pulls back shower curtains while Dongpyo is showering*

Seungwoo: are we- stop screaming, it’s just me- are we out of milk?

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Yohan: I had a dream the ocean was filled with orange soda

Yohan: It was a fanta sea.

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Minhee: I need a glass of boneless ice

Yohan: You need a what?

Minhee: Tasteless soup

Junho: Water. He wants water.

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Dohyon: so do short people also start their stories like...”when i was little” or they just say “As i am today...”

Seungyoun: ask Pyo

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Swing: so, what do you have to say to a staff member when he messes up?

Wooseok, annoyed: “you’re fired”

Dongpyo: “you’re unable to work here again”

Seungyoun: “you’re jobnn’t”

Minhee: “you’re promoted to a customer”

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Hyeongjun: if i download a movie in Jamaica, does that make me a pirate or the Caribbean?

Hangyul: i swear, if you don’t go to sleep-

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Judge: how do you plead?

Minhee: *looks at Hangyul*

Hangyul: *mouths ‘not guilty’*

Minhee: hot milky

Hangyul, banging his head on the table: just lock him up

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*2seung texting*

Seungwoo: what are you wearing?

Seungyoun: just my underwear ;)

Seungwoo: so you still haven’t done the laundry

Seungyoun:

Seungyoun: no i haven’t.

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Seungyoun: be my sugar daddy

Wooseok: please go away. i’m trying to do my science homework.

Seungyoun: be my fructose father then

Seungyoun: my glucose guardian

Seungyoun: polysaccharide parent

Seungyoun: carbohydrate caretaker

Wooseok:

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Hyeongjun: so you’re bisexual right?

Seungyoun: yeah

Hyeongjun: so are you gay on your mum or on your dad’s side?

Seungyoun:

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Minhee: ok so olive oil is made of olives right?

Hangyul: yeah

Minhee: then baby oil-

Hangyul: STOP

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Yohan: I think there’s something wrong with Junho. Lately he’s been quiet, antisocial and moody.

Hyeongjun: ...Have you even met Junho?!