Quotes of the Golden Witch

Umineko is pretty long, so all of these were said once, probably.

[incorrectuminekoquotes]

Hello! This blog will be put on hiatus for the moment, as I am busy with other things at the moment. I don’t know when of if it’ll return, but hopefully it will!

[incorrectuminekoquotes]

Satan: laughing cow cheese huh?

Satan: I BET THAT COW WASNT LAUGHING WHEN YOU SLAUGHTERED IT HUH

Ronove: you don’t kill a cow

Ronove: to make cheese

[incorrectuminekoquotes]

Rosa: imagining how satisfying it would be to hit a grand wizard with a ford f-150 before they could react.

Rosa: yeah summon a fireball now you piece of shit.

[incorrectuminekoquotes]

Ikuko: 90% of what I say to my cat is just telling him what body parts he has

Ikuko: “look at those ears!” “you have eyes and a nose!” “such long whiskers!” “do you have a tail??” “what little paws you have!” “look at that BELLY”

[incorrectuminekoquotes]

Beatrice: give a man a guitar and he’ll play for a day, teach a man guitar and today is gonna be the day that they’re gonna throw it back to you

Battler: I swear to God I am so tired of this meme. You guys need to leave Wonderwall alone, seriously by now you should’ve somehow realized what you gotta do

Gaap: i don’t fucking believe this. i don’t believe that anybody feels the way i do about you now

[incorrectuminekoquotes]

Maria: nothing is better than finding a walking stick

Maria: *out in nature* *sees a thick n smooth stick that’s as tall as me* oh fuck. oh fuck yes. i have magic now

[incorrectuminekoquotes]

Virgilia: i think we, as a culture, have moved too far away from fantasy films where every plot thread is like “the dragon rider and the werewolf joined a crew of sky pirates and hit a storm of cloud-eels but luckily they were saved by a friendly pod of star whales” or whatever the fuck was going on with movies like stardust and time bandits . it’s doesn’t necessarily make a good film but i feel like there’s something deep in our lizard brains that craves stories entirely made up of weird bullshit

Virgilia: We absolutely need less gratuitous nudity, abuse and sex scenes and have it called fantasy just because there’s dragons in it.

[incorrectuminekoquotes]

Gohda: my colleagues react to finding my shriveled corpse in the gutter outside hungry jacks

Kumasawa: "i think it's funny"

Genji: "its alright i guess"

Kanon: "Literally any funnyman could have made this post"

[incorrectuminekoquotes]

Kanon: I hate rich white people

Kumasawa: I don't please donate to my PayPal

[incorrectuminekoquotes]

Lambdadelta: who remembers barbie as the princess and the pauper? now THAT’S a movie that deserves a broadway-bound stage adaptation. the barking cat might be hard to cast but it’s a challenge i’d be willing to take on

[incorrectuminekoquotes]

Sayo, about Jessica: unfortunately, on this platonic female outing at outback steakhouse, my partner has ordered a “blooming onion”, transforming this once casual affair into a romantic tryst

[incorrectuminekoquotes]

Hideyoshi: taking care of kids is so easy it requires three skills:

Hideyoshi: 1. acting very dramatic and telling an injured kid that an amputation is necessary

Hideyoshi: 2. saying wildly incorrect things so that the kid will correct you and feel good about themselves for being so smart

Hideyoshi: 3. pretending every time they have something cool that it’s actually a present they’ve brought you

[incorrectuminekoquotes]

Featherine: the story ends with the magic going away forever. don’t you find it sad and poetic? please give me a pulitzer or at least a hugo

Ange: this is very dumb. I hate you. bring back the wizards

[incorrectuminekoquotes]

Battler: What's Hamlet? Have I missed something?

George: don't worry about it bro go back to bed.

[incorrectuminekoquotes]

Ikuko: This is my cat Bern. It’s short for Bernkastel Klues.

[incorrectuminekoquotes]

Amakusa: why are we still here? just to suffer? every day i charge devices

[incorrectuminekoquotes]

Sakutarou: *hands you a strawberry* *hands you a strawberry* *hands you a strawberry* *hands you a strawberry* *hands you a strawberry* *hands you a strawber