Vippaloid Incorrect Quotes

Incorrect quotes from our favorite virtual UTAUs the Vipper/VIPPAloids Note: the owner of this account has certain ships and headcanons | The occasional risque post (nothing super bad)

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Teto: I am 39 cheetos tall

Ted: Why... are you measuring your height in cheetos?

Teto: Because we're out of doritos

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Ritsu: I don’t think the therapist is supposed to say ‘wow’ that many times during their first session with a client, but here we are

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Miko: Plants are basically the ideal friends. They are quiet, friendly, and easy to please. All they need is a little water and fresh earth, and they are perfectly happy to lie there all day in the sun. And they don’t make increasingly awful life choices, or hide their relationships. They have never, as far as I know, fucked a bee

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Ritsu: What the fuck? People actually tell their crushes they like them??

Tei: What the hell do you do?

Ritsu: I die? What kinda question...

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Teto: You either buckle down and do your work or you’ll end up at McDonalds

Tei: We're going to McDonalds if I don't do my work?

Teto: NO-

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Teto: For self defense reasons, I'm going to pretend to be a burglar and you guys have to act wisely

Ritsu, Ruko, & Tei: Okay

Teto: If you don't want to die, give me all your money

Ruko: Bold of you to assume I have money

Ritsu: Bold of you to assume I don't want to die

Tei: Bold of you to assume I can die

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Miko, furious: What do you mean we have homework tonight? I have books to read

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Rook: I just wanna be called cute 21/7

Teto: Why no 24/7?

Rook: Snack breaks

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Miko: Do you feel any better?

Ritsu: I feel much better now that you're here with me

*Rook walks in*

Ritsu: I feel half better

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Tei: Kill me nooooow

Ritsu: Sorry, no can do. I need your help with my homework

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Ted: *speaking Spanish*

Ritsu: I know, I know

Tei: You speak Spanish?

Ritsu: No. I just know the phrase, 'this is all your fault' in every language Ted speaks

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Teto: Could you be anymore annoying?

Ritsu: Yes

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Miko: I woke up and chose VIOLENCE. I WILL COMMIT ARSON AND BURN EVERYTHING TO THE GROUND!!! I AM ANGRY-

Teto: Awwww, you’re so adorable! Give me a hug

Miko: Wh-What? nO, yOURE SUPPOSED TO BE SCARED OF ME! TREMBLE BEFORE MY WRATH-

Tei, recording: This is so cute

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Rook: Please! Pretend I'm useful!

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Ted: If you had to, what would you give up food or sex?

Ruko: Sex

Rook: Seriously, answer faster

Ruko: I’m sorry honey when he said sex I wasn’t thinking about sex with you

Rook: It’s like a giant hug

Ted: Tei what about you? What would you give up sex or food?

Tei: Food

Ted: Okay, how about sex or dinosaurs?

Tei: Oh my god it’s like the movie Sophie’s Choice

Rook: What about you Teto? What would you give up sex or food?

Teto: Oh... um... I don’t know, it’s too hard

Tei: No you gotta pick one

Teto: Um, food... no, sex... no, food... sex... food. Ugh! I don’t know! I want both! I- I want hot people on bread!

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Tei: Oh, here’s my award for the most rules broken!

Teto: That’s not an award, it’s an angry letter from our boss

Tei, hanging it on her wall: Well, it has the word ‘most’ in it, so I’m calling it an award!

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Rook: Sure, you're verified on twitter, but are you verified in the eyes of god?