skeptical sighing

come on, it was a long series. it's totally possible they said this stuff at some point. header by @cryptidneet 

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Scully: So how are you doing?

Mulder: I’m living the dream!

Scully: Oh, that’s good.

Mulder: Except it’s not my dream. It’s a dream that Stephen King once had.

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Skinner: Come on, Mulder's your best friend.

Scully: Mulder is not my best friend.

Skinner: Well then, who's your best friend?

Scully:

Scully: Oh crap how the hell did that happen

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William: Mom, can you look over my project? We have to draw opposites.

Scully: Ok, opposites? So that's a door and that's...?

William: Yeah that drawing is you.

Scully: I don't understand.

William: The door is hinged.

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Scully: I sent a nude fax once

Mulder: full face?

Scully: Full face. I mean, an artist signs her work.

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Krycek: All the best wars are fought against someone.

Scully: All wars are fought against someone.

Krycek: Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

Scully: No, I'm saying ALL wars.

Krycek: Yeah. All the best wars.

Scully: What are the best wars?

Krycek: 1812, WW1, WW2, French-Indy...

Scully: Ok, so what wars are you not fighting against someone?

Krycek: War against poverty, war against drugs, boom. Don't come at me.

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Mulder: [sobbing and putting up posters of Scully that say "Have you seen this woman?"]

Skinner: Is Scully missing??

Mulder: No, i just think everyone should see her because she's beautiful

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Mulder: I sort of did something and I need your advice. But I don’t want a lot of judgement and criticism.

Scully: And you came to me?

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Reyes: You look exhausted, is everything ok?

Scully: Mulder and I agreed to never go to bed angry at each other.

Reyes: Oh, that's great!

Scully: We've been awake since last Friday.

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I thought we had hit rock bottom, but we managed to find a new sub-basement.

Dana Scully, probably

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Mulder: Scully! Where's Scully? Woah, there you are, I didn't see you behind that grain of rice. BOOM, ROASTED!

Scully:

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Mulder: If I accidentally sat on a voodoo doll of myself, would I be trapped forever in that position, doomed to starve to death?

Reyes: How am I supposed to know?

Scully: You say, as if we don’t use you as a source of knowledge of the occult.

Reyes: [sighs]

Reyes: You wouldn’t be trapped.

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Scully: How did Krycek beat us here? We took the carpool lane.

Mulder: Maybe he did, too.

Scully: But he's just one person?

Mulder: Maybe he did it anyway.

Scully: But that's a $491 ticket!

Mulder: This is why we have to stop him, he's out of control!

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Mulder: Hey Frohike, can you come here? If you were my partner, would you be all freaked out that I’m JUST FRIENDS with Krycek?

Scully: Who cares what Frohike thinks?

Frohike: Honestly, I wouldn’t love it.

Scully: I care what he thinks.

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Scully: This is bothering me.

Reyes: Well, you are digging up a corpse.

Scully: No, not that. That’s, uh, pretty par for the course, actually.

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Scully: Why do you have a diary?

Mulder: To keep secrets from my computer

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Skinner: I said I wasn’t gonna cry…

Scully: But you’re not crying.

Skinner: I know. It’s called strength.

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Scully: You’re coming off distinctly paranoid.

Mulder: Everyone keeps saying that. It’s like a conspiracy.