Indefinitely In Between

22, figuring things out. Trying not to fail at life. These are my more personal thoughts.

[purplebuddhaproject]

If we do not know how to take care of ourselves and to love ourselves, we cannot take care of the people we love. Loving oneself is the foundation for loving another person.

Thích Nhất Hạnh (via purplebuddhaproject)

[indefinitelyinbetween]

anxiety

creeping through cracks

sealed tight behind

ain’t no sunshine in this aviary

hollow bones

feel like to crack

clipped wings

nerve endings fried

short circuit

signals sent

but the receiver’s broke

just static in the wind

[indefinitelyinbetween]

and I am not worth the trouble

because I never am

[indefinitelyinbetween]

a matted knot of nerves

broken

frayed

undone

but stuck together

red and raw

[artbymoga-deactivated20200516]

Extremely personal piece. Doesn’t really need that much explanation.

*apologies if it turns up pixelated, just click the picture for a full res. view

[indefinitelyinbetween]

severed my own 

umbilical cord

now I'm missing

the connections of my youth

[indefinitelyinbetween]

spinning blind

pinata

and hide and seek

were always hard

never my forte

I would always end up 

lonely in the dark

hitting walls with sticks

then giving up

[indefinitelyinbetween]

and I would like to rid myself of feeling

and I would like to rid myself of pain

but tears have been erasing all my boundaries

sand through my fingertips

efforts in vain

[indefinitelyinbetween]

stretched limb from limb

the ballet of beginning rises up

choreographed catastrophe

twisting violent molten thoughts

then spinning

cooling

water's getting calmer

ceased its boiling

crawling from the rubble

seeds of life begin

[indefinitelyinbetween]

pulling nails from my fingers

I am letting you go

you are clinging

cat on the curtains

threads fraying

limbs splayed in disarray

and slipping fast

pins and needles pillows

frantic

out of time to break your fall

[indefinitelyinbetween]

unconditional

and steady

burning to the ground

dismantled brick by brick

in slow decay

water flowing

turns the hardest stone to clay

[indefinitelyinbetween]

you are a great lake

not quite an ocean

but within you

water still

could fill my lungs

[indefinitelyinbetween]

I do not feel good today. 

not at fucking all and I do not feel like persevering. 

I have so much to do and it is already almost eleven. 

I could use a good stab in the neck.

[indefinitelyinbetween]

Everything is frustrating. Move postponed to this weekend. Supposed to try and go out to be a human tonight. 

All I want to do is stay home, watch netflix and eat cookie dough. 

[indefinitelyinbetween]

you wrote yourself deep

indented

like braille upon my skin

planting bruises

blooming faster than I can explain them away

stained by scratches

broke the skin

though I tried not to let you in

my hull is breached

the waves are washing me away

[dsdsfdgd-deactivated20150704]

some friendly advice

you don’t have to play mind games when you’re in a relationship

you don’t have to put up with your partners shit cause you’re in a relationship

you don’t have to agree with them and disrespect yourself cause you’re in a relationship

you can be your own person and still be in a relationship

in fact you should

respecting someone does not mean tolerating every shitty thing that they do

[indefinitelyinbetween]

Limbo

for pagans

and unbaptized children

would've been better

than hell

-----

you've now passed the point

of wanting to think of me

understandable

-----

new apartment keys

please give me new beginnings

solid ground at last