Why does Usagi think Mamoru might leave/cheat on her?
Occasionally during Sailor Moon R, S and SuperS Usagi seemed to have these moments of insecurity where she was concerned that Mamoru was either interested in other people or else other people might make a play for him.
The real life reason for this I suspect is simply because Sailor Moon has a lot of sitcom sensibilities alongside itâs romantic elements, so milking comedy from a romantic topic by having our lead act over the top or goofy is a logical writing tool to reach for. Especially when you have such a large quantity of episodes to produce.
However, I have a more in-universe explanation to propose.
In real life Usagiâs behaviour would most likely be connected to trust issues with her partner, with other people or else concerns about her own inadequacies. However, I donât think thatâs the case here.
Rather, I think itâs actually far more connected to the numerous times Usagi has loved and âlostâ Mamoru.
Back in the Silver Millennium days there was this low key implication that romantic mingling between the Moon Princess and Earth Prince was somehow forbidden. After all when Endymion came to the Moon and tried to warn Serenity about Metalia and Beryl the royal guards chased him away and he needed to disguise himself. So from Serenityâs POV the social system she was living in was limiting her ability to be with the man she loved and made their future together at best uncertain. Â
Now, I admit thatâs perhaps a bit too big of an extrapolation to draw from, especially for the anime version of the characters where we got far less info about their past lives. However, the more significant part here is the fact that Endymion was taken from her when he was killed by the Dark Kingdom. Seeing her lover murdered in front of her whilst her home were also being destroyed (and her friends killed) would obviously be very traumatic, particularly if Serenity was mentally and physically the equivalent of a fourteen year old like Usagi. Â
In her next life she was crushing very hard on Tuxedo Mask who routinely showed up to aid her and then rarely lingered. Thatâs not exactly traumatic, but the early days of their relationship wouldâve still been founded by Usagi seeing the person she wants to stick around and spend time with her leave her when she wouldnât want him to.
She also feared Tuxedo Mask had died in episode 13 when Jadeite announced that heâd killed him. True, he was revealed as alive and well shortly afterwards, but the horror of that moment (however brief it mayâve been) couldâve stuck with Usagi.
Then, in the iconic 34th episode of the show, Mamoru was violently impaled right in front of her. We can debate if he died and was consequently revived by the Dark Kingdom or if he was merely close to death before his abduction. But either way thatâd inevitably be an instance where Usagi once again traumatically lost the man she loved, or at least came extremely close to doing so if not for the emotion of the moment re-awaking her old memories.
Speaking of which, as episode 35-36 make clear, the mere act of abruptly regaining all her memories would be emotionally wrenching all on itâs own. When combined with the tragic and traumatic nature of those memories, itâs far from unbelievable that subconsciously this would further mark Usagiâs psyche. Â
The reveal that her lover is alive but no longer remembers her and is actively a threat to her now would obviously compound this. As would the fact that in episode 36 he uses a rose to hurt her. Itâs not a serious wound at all, but he still hurt her and used an object that up until then heâd used explicitly to help and protect her. Within Usagiâs mind his roses wouldâve likely been âcodedâ with positive emotions, so seeing them used in that way wouldâve been further upsetting for her, in essence a perversion of what they should  mean to her mind. The roses now being black are an apt metaphor for this point. Â
Of course during the final stretch of episodes in season 1 Usagi almost  restores Mamoru. But thatâs the key here, she almost  succeeds. First it the ski episode where he briefly seems to break out of his brainwashing and then again in the episode where Ryo (and the other Rainbow Crystal hosts) returns. In the latter she actually succeeds in restoring him to normal but heâs abducted immediately once again. Not only did Usagi lose Mamoru a few more times but her active efforts to bring him back to her failed.
We then come to the most traumatic events in Usagiâs second life (up to that point), episodes 44-46.
In episode 44, not only did she once again re-experience the tragic destruction of the Silver Millennium, but she got a âbirdâs eye viewâ of everything that happened, including the specific moments she, Endymion, her friends and even her mother died. True, her sadness or trauma over everyone else isnât specific to her losing Endymion/Mamoru, however because these events happen so close together and are connected itâs not unbelievable that Usagiâs mind mightâve created an association. So her pain over seeing her mother die is associated also with her âlosingâ Endymion as well. By that same token, the death of her beloved friends in episode 45 mightâve consequently become associated with what happened next. Â
In episode 46 Usagi is outright attacked by a brainwashed Endymion. First she sees him loyally serving her enemy who (by proxy) murdered her friends like an hour ago. Worse she mightâve picked up on the obvious romantic undertones between Beryl and Endymion, including him kissing her hand, and letâs not forget in the flashback from episode 44 Beryl clearly desired Endymion. Whilst intellectually Usagi might know heâs not in his right mind, emotionally seeing him like that with Beryl in that context could emotionally upset her, almost as though he was betraying their love in the worst possible way. Â
Endymionâs efforts against her are also significantly more violent and active than anything he did before since episode 36. Dashing a rose across the back of her hand pales in comparison to ensnaring her and shocking her with his roses. Not to mention trying to slice her up with the very same sword he wouldâve used to defend her in the Silver Millennium. Even if you donât buy into my point about perverting these symbols of their relationship, the mere act of him hurting her and trying to murder her like that is going to obviously be emotionally arresting.
In a sense in those horrible moments for Usagi Endymion/Mamoru really was âlostâ to her, he merely looked  like her lover. This I think is why it was significant that she actually fought  back against him with her tiara. But since he still looked like her lover and intellectually she knew he wasnât to blame (and emotionally hoped he was still salvageable) her own act of self-defence horrified her. Â
Of course she does save him, but then he dies again. Depending on how you look at it, from Usagiâs POV this is at least the second  time heâs really died and that number climbs higher if you include his presumed death in episode 13 and the number of times she had to re-experience his death in the Silver Millennium. And that isnât even counting traumatic dreams about him dying in the aftermath of episodes 34-35. It doesnât help that his mortal injuries in episode 46 are eerily similar to the ones he sustained in episode 34, namely a violent impalement.
We might even argue this is categorically the worst  instance up until this point of Usagi watching her lover die or seemingly die. In the Silver Millennium she herself died seconds later. In episode 13 they werenât nearly as close as theyâd become by episode 46 and she at least had friends and family in her life she knew she could lean on. This equally applies to Mamoru seemingly dying in episode 34 and even his abduction in episode 35. In fact with Minako, Makoto and Artemis Usagi had an even larger support network than before. In episode 46 though her lover has died in her arms, sheâs left to go on and the Inner Senshi are dead, Luna and Artemis arenât around and the end of the world is imminent. Sheâs truly all alone in her grief and intellectually she knows that even if somehow she resolves the crisis her support network has been mostly gutted. THEN she herself dies  to defeat Beryl/Metalia and save the world.
She gets her fondest wish, to go back to a normal life, but thatâs also taken from her due to the arrival of Ail and An. Yay for Usagi, she gets to have ALL of those traumatic memories from the Silver Millennium rerun through her head AGAIN. And this time theyâre complimented by the Hell she went through in losing her friends, her lover and dying herself in the Arctic. Â
But hey, at least now she and her lover can finally be together right? Nope. He literally doesnât know her. He isnât Endymion. He isnât Tuxedo Mask. He isnât the Mamoru she knew and doesnât even want to know her. Meanwhile a prospective romantic rival is sniffing around him and for all she knows he may well be interested in her. She gets a tiny ray of hope when Moonlight Knight shows up but thatâs abruptly squashed when she receives (seemingly) hard proof this guy who seems oh so similar to the man she loves definitely isnât that man. So her tiny hope of maybe  getting him back is taken from her almost as quickly as it came.
After Ail and An depart Earth Usagi finally  has what she wantsâŠuntil two episodes later. This time in the cruelest twist of fate for her, it isnât external forces that tears Mamoru away from her. This time he  takes himself from her. From a certain point of view this is sort of worse than him dying. Usagi knows death and reincarnation are a thing and that magic exists. She already knows that, as traumatic as it mightâve been, the pair have been given more chances than most people to get together. But how is that to happen when Mamoru, in his right mind and fully possessing all his memories, clearly conveys he doesnât want her. In the same way Tuxedo Mask pulled a disappearing act early on, now Mamoru in normal life begins actively avoiding Usagi and even saying hurtful things to her. Â
It is in episode 61 (the break up episode itself) that we arguably first see this insecure side to Usagi where she questions if Mamoru prefers a child under 10 years old to her. From there we also see Mamoru try to hint to her that heâs seeing Unazuki. Â
Of course Usagi eventually learns that it WAS another external force pushing them apart again (well sort of but thatâs for another day). However, to lose Mamoru again after all sheâd already gone through to be with him was emotionally going to be a serious twisting of the knife for her, in addition to his efforts after episode 61 to push her away. The fact that his own desire to be with her caused him to still help and even hang out with her on occasion wouldâve further confused her. Â
But even after  this mess is cleared up, in Sailor Moon R The Movie: Promise of the Rose Usagi has to witness Mamoru nearly die for her again. And like on other occasions it comes via an impalement right in front of her and a consequent abduction to boot. And the abductee happens to be someone she and her friends suspect might harbor romantic feelings for Mamoru as well, someone who actively insulted her, actively tried to dissuade Mamoru from dating her and who literally  pushed her away from him. Â
When taken collectively, I think all these traumas associated with Usagi âlosingâ Mamoru or otherwise being prevented from being with him would make Usagi subconsciously on the alert for the next  thing that might take him from her.
I propose that this is the actual reason for Usagiâs concerns that Mamoru might like Chibiusa more than her, for why she gets concerned when Ami and Mamoru chat together in S, for why she goes all ninja in SuperS, etc. Deep down she does  trust him and deep down she trusts her friends and doesnât actually  feel threatened by anyone who might try to hit on Mamoru.
Itâs in reality a case of her gripping too tight precisely because the object of her desire has slipped through her fingers far too many times in the past.* Or if you like, from Usagiâs POV destiny mightâve pre-ordained that she fall in love with Mamoru but she may well be concerned that itâs also pre-ordained that they be allowed to enjoy  being in love, not for too long anyway. Â
However, I think this in turn set up a great example of character development for our heroine.
First of all, in episode 132 we have Chibiusa outright warning Usagi she has a romantic rival and that if she doesnât shape up she will  lose Mamoru to her, and yet Usagi shrugs this off.Â
Of course, we could argue that this is Usagi trying to simply one up Chibiusa in this moment, or else she is dismissive of the warning precisely because it comes from Chibiusa whom is both a child and someone who makes a point of trolling her. On the other hand we might view this as an example of how Usagi has in fact grown and is more at peace with the idea that she isnât about to have Mamoru taken from her for the umpteenth time. Â
Granted her over reaction in episode 136, wherein she dresses as a ninja to ensure Rei and Mamoru donât get up to anything, goes against that idea. However, we could just as easily argue that Usagiâs reactions in that episode were an example of her backsliding precisely because of Rei and Mamoruâs history. She might not worry about Rei and Mamoru deep down, but the idea of them living in the same place when they used to date and when she knows how active  Rei was in pursuing him back in the day? Itâs not beyond belief that in these specific circumstances Usagiâs resolve faltered whereas sheâd have been less concerned if itâd been a stranger or someone with no romantic history with Mamoru.ffff
More significantly though is Sailor Stars. Once more Usagi âlostâ/nearly lost Mamoru. This time this was due to Queen Nehelenia, whose efforts poisoned the Earth and by extension endangered the life of her lover. Then she did that AGAIN, this time outright brainwashing and abducting him.Â
Even if this didnât remind Usagi of her horrible experiences with Evil Endymion and Beryl, it wouldâve still been disturbing and upsetting, especially when Mamoru developed a mirror fetish. Usagi went through Hell and physical torture to try and save her lover and this time the stakes were even higher. Because this time losing him would also mean losing the other person she loved the most, (Chibiusa) a horrible event that she eventually witnessed happen.
Sure, she saved the day and got both her future husband and future daughter back, but she still had to live through those horrible experiences to get to that point. Â
And yet, despite these fresh traumas regarding losing her lover, in episode 173 Usagi handles Mamoru leaving for America surprisingly well.
Itâs made clear sheâs upset by his departure and doesnât want  him to go. But she comes mere inches from seeing him off with a smile as she intended, demonstrating her increased strength and maturity.Â
And despite her tears, despite her not wanting him to go, she still sees him off, she doesnât try to dissuade him, she isnât worried that heâll meet other people or that their relationship will get torn asunder once more. She is sad because they are going to be physically separated by a long distance for a long time, but thatâs the only  thing thatâs of concern to her. And her reaction even then is relatively reigned in (by her standards) even in the privacy of her own home. Â
And from a narrative/emotional POV it is almost like the universe rewards  her for that growth via Mamoru giving her a promise/engagement ring, saying he loves her and kissing her in the airport.
Whilst the significance of the ring is obvious (albeit not to Usagi) we shouldnât undersell Mamoruâs words or the kiss.Â
Iâm willing to be corrected on this but Iâm fairly certain that episode was the first time Mamoru (not Endymion, not Moonlight Knight talking about  Mamoru, etc) had ever told Usagi he loved her. Of course, his actions spoke louder than words on this front. Even before Usagi knew Mamoru was Tuxedo Mask she suspected the latter rescued her because he was in love with her. Nevertheless, having your partner actually look you in the eye and say the words can be incredibly emotionally significant for a lot of people. In a sense it is the ultimate unambiguous proof of the other personâs feelings (in theory anyway). Even if Usagi hadnât been waiting to hear him say the words (personally I think her expression implies she had been) it wouldâve nevertheless been a significant development in their relationship all the same. Â
And as for the kiss, I admit I only vaguely know about Japanese cultural norms regarding PDA, but it is to my understanding that kissing in public is frowned upon. Even if Iâm wrong about that, Mamoru (as evidenced by the R movie) certainly doesnât like to kiss Usagi when anyone else is around. If you go back to check most of their kisses, either they are alone or else itâs obvious Mamoru doesnât think anyone is observing them. The fact that he kisses Usagi not only in a public space, but an airport of all places (when there are crowds there for three big celebrities no less) is a huge deal for him. And in turn itâs a huge deal for Usagi because, whilst Mamoru might have more reservations, Usagi clearly cared a lot less about PDA, typically being the one to initiate their kisses. Â
Consequent episodes further demonstrate Usagiâs growth regarding her old insecurities with Mamoru. Putting aside how we never once see her worried about him seeing other girls, in episode 181 Seiya outright raises the idea of him seeing other people. Usagi casually, without a hint of aggression, dismisses the idea. Â
The irony is that it is Usagi  whoâs in the situation she so often worried about regarding Mamoru. She is the person being pursued by  romantic rival to her lover, namely Seiya. Â
The cruel  irony is that Usagi having matured enough to accept Mamoru leaving (despite being deeply upset and lonely about it) actually had  lost him yet again. Â
She just didnât know it. Â
*Not to mentionâŠshe is a teenager. Those people tend to be ever so slightly prone to emotional over reactions at the best of times. Â
