It's pride month. I wanna talk about Veil and being Aromantic.
Veil is a manga that I hold dear to my heart, not just because of the beautiful artwork, but the relationship of Alexander and Emma throughout. In one of the afterwords, the creator talks about how the two have this relationship where they aren't quite friends but they aren't lovers either. Hence the title "Veil", referring to the ambiguity of their relationship.
Let me tell you why this manga means a lot to me.
I've always had weird feelings about romantic relationships. I've been in a few, they didn't end well for one reason or another. However, something constant within them was how I felt about my partners. I never felt like a romantic partner nor did I really think of them like one either. Like with so many things, it felt like there were these unspoken rules that I didn't know or there were ways I needed to act and feel that didn't fit with how I truly felt. And the one time I thought I felt something for another person, it ended up being this jumbled mess of feelings I couldn't understand either or what we were to each other; it ended up destroying our friendship.
I didn't start identifying with being Aromantic until I was about 18-ish. Even so, I wasn't sure what that meant for me; was I repulsed by love? Did I care for it? I didn't know. There were hardly any romance stories I related to or longed to have. The closest story I could name that resonated with me heavily was Hunter x Hunter, and how free spirited Gon and Killua were. But I craved some form of intimacy, something personal. To be close with someone that our relationship couldn't be defined in a way, and it didn't need to be, because it didn't matter.
Then I read Veil (possible spoilers if you haven't read it)
The bond Alexander and Emma share is one of, if not, the most beautiful relationship I've read/watched in anything I've ever seen/read. There are no labels, no complications in each other's emotions, they don't care to ask about what they are to each other because they understand each other on a level I could only hope to have with someone. They don't ever read into the others' behaviors (such as giving gifts or offering touches) and try to over analyze them. They sleep in the same bed, but nothing happens. They simply enjoy each other, and flow freely from that.
Over the course of the manga the veil they have does thin out; Emma even reveals some personal feelings about how she's lived before meeting Alexander (from a psychological perspective). It's almost like a confession, but it isn't. It's a reaffirmation of what we've already read. To me, that veil isn't meant to be them slowly falling in love, but letting the other person in and becoming closer and closer. It's intimate and in a way it is romantic, but they still don't read as lovers to me. It's more than just any label can define, and a bond that doesn't need one. They don't need labels or rules, they only need each other.
That's what I want, more than anything I think.
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