〉: // THE ENGINEER.

doctor ines lunström. thirty-seven. engineer.

[thelovejournals]

Maybe I don’t like people as much as the rest of the world seems to… But occasionally, people will pleasantly surprise me and I’ll fall in love with them, so go figure.

Mark Oliver Everett, Things The Grandchildren Should Know (via thelovejournals)

[ineslundstrom-blog]

ooc //  i’ve been working 24/7 which is why i’ve been hella slow to reply. i’m going to be dropping threads (prior to yesterday) to offer you an oven-fresh starter.

like this post for a starter taking place now, post-plot drop. reply to this post for a flashback thread to training/transit to remus.

[ineslundstrom-blog]

one last call if you want a starter set now (probably before/after nik’s funeral) or during training. like for present and reply/comment with literally anything and i’ll write up something for a flashback! gonna get these written up/posted tomorrow night after work.

[ineslundstrom-blog]

✰ ⏤ PALMER.

closed starter // @ineslundstrom

Back on Earth, Sienna had loved to cook. She had no real talent or skill at it, but the activity of creating something and then serving it to the people she loved had given her great joy. Simple meals were best, but she thought that even that might be a struggle on Remus. They were still living on the preserved supplies brought from Earth and with the recent storm having done so much damage to the crops, that situation showed no signs of improving soon. The food was designed to provide nutrition for them and little else, and Sienna found it dreary most of the time. She wished for something more exciting, or at least to find something different on her tray every once in a while. 

It was that thought of how much different food would do to improve Sienna’s state of mind that set her off with an idea to cook a meal for the rest of the crew. Something to bring them all back together and hopefully start to help them recover from the events of the recent weeks. She had been eager to get started, and was thrilled when Ines agreed to help - they were one of the few who almost always treated Sienna as though she wasn’t a psychologist, and the relief was huge for the blonde. 

She waited in the canteen a couple of hours before meal time was due, leaning on the counter behind her and looking up at the ceiling. She was lost in thought, her mind going over the facts of recent times repeatedly as she thought how best to present the meal to the others.

              Meals on a mission like this were for a singular purpose: nourishment. There was little joy taken from the prepackaged and prepared ingredients available to the crew, and the rations were calculated purely to keep everyone’s calorie counts in range to sustain them until they were able to live sufficiently off the land. Given the most recent setbacks, they would be carefully monitoring supplies until the fields were viable again. But it didn’t have to be all doom and gloom ⏤ that’s what Sienna had implied with her suggestion to cook and enjoy a meal together, the whole crew gathered around to eat, to talk, and to heal.

There was something uniquely reminiscent of family dinners that drove Ines to volunteer their services for the preparation of the meal. So much of the Swedish customs that their father had imparted on them were linked to food and celebrations, and it would be a nice distraction to collaborate on a meal instead of worrying about the precise measurements of the funereal box they were in the process of designing for Nikolai. 

Sienna appeared lost in thought when Ines entered the kitchen. “I don’t think you’ll find any recipes up there,” they joked, moving to the sink to wash their hands. It was reflexive, given the hands-on, high-contact nature of their work, and the necessity of hygiene in food preparation. “Have you got any ideas for what we should cook, or are we going to wing it? I’m open to either. You take the lead and I’ll follow; consider me your sous chef.” They recognized the distracted look in Sienna’s eyes and asked quietly: “You’re sure you’re up for this?”

[ineslundstrom-blog]

✰ ⏤ PEARSON.

Hal ran a few stray fingers through his hair, twisting some strands on the ends. Whenever he grew anxious, he played with his hair. He hated it. He hated being a victim to his anxieties, but they were in full swing now more than ever. He looked around. Things were so quiet, and Hal felt completely useless. Usually, he would have been running around working, doing something to help contribute - but currently, he was breaking protocol just by being out of his bunker. He just couldn’t stay cooped up all day, wondering how his team was doing. No. He’d choose risking himself to being confined to a cell of solitude. He thought back to the days from before, when he lost his father. The darkest of depressions covered him in a blanket and the darkness of his room ate him alive. He couldn’t manage succumbing to the darkness like that right now. There was too much work to be done.

His eyes glanced up to see Lundstrom hovering in the corridor, and his eye twitched a little in confusion. What was she doing? He didn’t understand why things had to be so strange between them. Given their compromising history, he understood and tolerated it, though he didn’t know how else to try moving past it. It didn’t seem like Ines wanted to move on, and he simply had no time for confrontation, especially not now. They couldn’t even say hello to him without bringing up someone else. “Haven’t seen him,” he spoke in their direction, glancing over. God, would he even try this? He was here to support all of the crew members, not just certain ones at the end of the day. “How have you been?” he asked, both hands now hanging onto his coffee for dear life.

               Attentive blue eyes followed the movements of the navigator’s fingers as they worked through his hair. Ines had known Hal to fidget with his hair when he was restless, nervous. It was one of his tells, and they felt a sharp pang of guilt for having intimate knowledge of the clues embedded in his otherwise benign behaviors. It was an unfair advantage to have over him, just as they knew he was acutely aware of their habits, but even moreso now, after everything that had transpired between them.

Still, Ines’ body screamed with the desire to comfort him. The pair shared in their respective memberships to the Parentless Child club, the unspoken organization no rational person wanted to be welcomed into, and Ines knew that the loss of his father had left him with scars that had likely been torn open by Nikolai’s sudden passing. They had to imagine that he was in his own version of hell in the wake of recent events, and they struggled to construct a neutral offer to help diffuse the feelings that were inevitably cropping up. What’s worse, they couldn’t quite bring themselves to move any closer than necessary, flitting about the perimeter of the room to avoid closing the space between them.

“I’ve been...” Ines trained off, a sigh escaping their lips. “I’ve been better. Trying to keep busy. Anna’s asked me to build a casket for Nik, so that’s... that’s what I’ll be working on.” It was only then that they realized they were wringing their hands, trying their best to divert the anguish bubbling up in their throat elsewhere. “Hal... If you wanted to talk, about Nik or what’s happened, or anything... I hope you know that I would listen,” they said softly, adding in a moment of fluster: “I’m sure you have someone trusted to talk to, if not Sienna, but I’m putting that out there, I suppose. I can’t imagine any of this has been easy on you.” 

[ineslundstrom-blog]

✰ ⏤ KINSLEY.

         Unsure of her hands, Savannah left the prototype on her desk where it would be safe. At least from the winds and whatever virus had – she stopped herself. There was no reason to dwell on it. The tightness in her throat could be easily explained away as a remnant of the virus, not because of the tiny, kind gesture. She hung back by the door, unsure of if she should approach. Lab Two also made her uneasy. It’s where she had been triaged before the symptoms showed up. But it felt lighter now, Ines filling the space. Clearing her throat, she shifted back on her heels as she watched them wrap up a few things. At the invitation, she moved in, but continued to maintain her distance. 

“True. We all have a lot of work to be doing. It doesn’t seem as if we’ll ever get days off. Except for the last few days.” A weak smile accompanied the weak joke, if it even could be categorized as a joke. Better light hearted than give into the knot present in her throat. Her fingers found purchase on the edges of their desk. “Yes, I saw it.” Her eyes dropped again as she tried to cycle through the right thing to say. “It’s beautiful.” Her voice came out softer than she anticipated and a wave of heat followed closely behind. “You didn’t have to do that. But thank you.” The tears welled up regardless and she turned away from them to compose herself. 

               There was an uncharacteristic timidness about Savannah as she remained fixed by the doors ⏤ atypical behavior from the opinionated agronomist that struck Ines as odd, until they identified the the emotion welling up in her eyes. Ines' body relaxed, their posture softened and their hands fell away from the desk to clasp together in their lap. “I’m glad you’re doing better, Savannah,” Ines said softly, all too aware of the bleak scenario that had gripped crew members quarantined following Nikolai’s death. Certainly their experience on the outside differed greatly from that of the crew contained within the designated labs, but they had to imagine it had been a remarkably trying few days.

Ines’ gaze followed the redhead as she approached the engineer’s desk, fingers gently fixing on the edges of the workspace. The reaction, however restrained, was all the thanks Ines needed for producing what they believed would be a veritable solution to the issues that had arisen in the fields following the storm. And they knew someone as invested in their work as Savannah would appreciate coming back to a sign of life in their lab: a bright green sprout, the promise of a fresh start. Something better. Something stronger. 

“Maybe not, but I figured any spare time would be best put to use preparing something for you when you got back on your feet.” Ines offered her a small smile. The prototype had taken far more research than they’d intended, but it had been worth it to help advance the process of replanting the fields, not to mention Savannah’s apparent contentment with their offering. “You’re welcome. Do you have any notes? Obviously it’ll need to be tested on a larger scale but I think we can do it. Once we finalize the design, I think it’ll take about two-to-two and a half days to build.”

[ineslundstrom-blog]

Fears: 

Birds ⏤ A life lived almost entirely indoors and a near-complete lack of exposure to wildlife has led to an acute fear of birds and other such creatures. Ines can understand and appreciate their ability to fly but gets a little skittish around the falcons in the greenhouse (if not because of their ability to swoop down out of nowhere then because of those nice, sharp talons).

Needles ⏤ Drawing blood is a sure-fire way to get Ines to hit the floor. They’re uncomfortable in general with medical testing/procedures but get especially nervous and pale around needles of any size, which isn’t quite ideal given the testing that was required of mission participants prior to departure, as well as the regular check-ups they are required to do and their frequent visits with Anthony for work-related injuries and strains.

Failure ⏤ Failing in their role as the engineer for the Remus mission has incredibly dire implications for the crew. As such, it’s a recurring point of internal contention for Ines. They fear causing people harm as a result of an error on their part; worse, their ultimate concern is being the direct or indirect cause of someone’s death.

Losing Loved Ones ⏤ The loss of their parents has made them sick at the thought of losing anyone else they care for, which is part of the rationale behind the distance they often place between themselves and others. Sometimes, however, emotions get the best of them and they invest heavily in others (typically to their detriment). 

Ines uses and accepts both they/them and she/her as pronouns. (Note: Players and characters can use both sets of pronouns interchangeably.)

Prior to training, they hadn’t spoken much Swedish in several years. It was only when they discovered that Jacob also spoke it that they began to work on reacquainting themselves with the old language. They’re also interested in learning bits and pieces of other languages from their fellow crew mates.

Ines is a big tea drinker. It’s been a part of their life for as long as they can remember and they find comfort in keeping the routine of it. They drink several cups per day and occasionally concoct their own blend of leaves and herbs.

Most of the time they keep their hair fastened up in a ponytail or tight bun to keep it away/off of their face while they’re working to avoid any potential safety hazards. They’ll wear it down during downtime and/or when they’re feeling more feminine. Their work attire is primarily coveralls: something comfortable and neutral.

Ines keeps an inconsistent sleep schedule. Oftentimes their mind is too preoccupied with calculations and design metrics to rest. These days they’re caught up in thinking about all of the work required of them around camp to ensure that the team is not blindsided or endangered should another brutal storm wreak havoc. There’s also the matter of Nikolai’s death, which is something they have worked hard to tamp down emotionally in order to be in service of others.

When they have trouble sleeping, they typically go to the kitchen to make themselves a cup of tea. If anyone else is up, they do their best to read the situation and see if their crewmate would like conversation and/or a cuppa.

Their private quarters share a wall with Julian’s, and over time the pair have developed a sort of code, knocking on the wall to see if the other is up and saying goodnight.

[rebeccalouisaferguson]

[ineslundstrom-blog]

ooc //  i’ve been working 24/7 which is why i’ve been hella slow to reply. i’m going to be dropping threads (prior to yesterday) to offer you an oven-fresh starter.

like this post for a starter taking place now, post-plot drop. reply to this post for a flashback thread to training/transit to remus.

[ineslundstrom-blog]

✰ ⏤ KINSLEY.

@ineslundstrom

         The virus, whatever the hell it was, had been thwarted by the quick thinking and expertise of Anthony. The symptoms had hit both her and Abe hard and out of nowhere. She thought they were out of the woods, but things quickly spiraled out of control. Anna slipping into a coma and the cloudy fog that entered her own mind. She couldn’t remember a lot or maybe Savannah wanted to block it all out. Being sick wasn’t something she wanted to remember. Not when there was so much work to do. Work that couldn’t take much more waiting. 

The lab felt strange. Anthony had removed the body for autopsy. Someone had cleaned up the blood. She didn’t want to think about that. But as she settled at her desk, she felt her eyes still creeping to the spot where Nikolai had been found. Death didn’t scare her. It never had. She found it a beautiful cycle of life. But the violent matter of his death and the virus that had spread among the crew left her on edge. 

It took her a few minutes to notice the sprout on her desk. A sprout in a prototype box – something for the crops. Ines. They had been thoughtful enough to build this and leave it for Savannah even with all the drama unfolding around the crew. A tightness crept up to her throat and her eyes burned. It was an unfamiliar feeling. The agronomist wasn’t someone for sentimentality or tears. Crying was done best in the shower or alone where no one would ever know. Pushing through the small hallway connecting lab two and three, she poked her head in and spotted them. “You busy?” 

               An unsettling quiet had blanketed the base camp following Nikolai’s sudden passing, and it had only intensified in eeriness when members of the crew had fallen ill. Time that would have otherwise been spent wringing hands was put to use, making progress on repairs during the work day and tinkering in the lab after-hours. In the time since the storm front had hit, Ines had constructed a prototype of a singular component of the grid system they had pitched to Savannah to help protect the crops. In the time since its creation and the agronomist’s return to work, under their watchful eye, they had managed to produce a single two-leaf sprout in the dark soil, the seed scavenged from the greenhouse prior to the quarantine that had locked things down.

It was that very sprout that Ines knew had brought the crimson-haired woman to their lab. It was good to see Savannah in better shape after the mystery illness had drawn the colour from her complexion. The engineer was seated at their workspace, working on the guide they had been recording and piecing together for the past few days, when she appeared in the doorway. Glancing up over their monitor, Ines waved her in. “When am I not these days? Come on in. I’m not too busy to talk.” Minimizing their files, they reached for their mug to take a sip of tea. “I take it you saw the prototype I left you? What do you think?”

[ineslundstrom-blog]

✰ ⏤ PEARSON.

location: main hall

time: present

status: open

Hal’s old spot to sit and think had been obliterated by means of the last storm, debris littering the location where the coms tower once sat. It was typically a rare occasion when he had the time to really be introspective about things, especially considering the brouhaha that had occurred within the past week. He had taken it upon himself to keep things going as they had been, and he had been helping to distribute tasks all day, trying to remind his cohorts that life went on. After all, there were still debris that needed to be cleared, dents that had to be repaired, and they were missing an integral component to their mission: the tower. Things were looking bad, but they couldn’t lose their heads during time of stress. It was Hal’s duty not to fall apart on them as third in the chain of command, and as he sat in quiet contemplation towards the end of the work day with a book in his lap, he wondered what the future would bring and how he could combat such issues. Suddenly, he heard the whooshing of the bay doors opening, and he knew he wasn’t alone. 

               Ines wasn’t sure what or who they were looking for. The crew’s morale had been upended by the news of a mystery illness taking down their captain, botanist, geologist and agronomist, and they had been instructed to stay clear of the greenhouse and Lab Two until further notice. There was no shortage of work to be done in and around camp; the storm’s damage still required their attention, though they couldn’t seem to focus it ⏤ on work, at least.

Stepping through the corridor to the main hall, Ines stopped in their tracks when they spotted Hal seated inside. He was hardly the person they wanted to face at a time like this, with emotions running high and everyone operating on little to no sleep. The combination of such variables made for dangerous conditions. Swallowing thickly, Ines knew that he had spotted them. There was no escaping, not without an excuse of some sort. “Sorry, I was... looking for Julian. I don’t suppose you’ve seen him?” It wasn’t a lie; they were interested in locating the pilot, but it was hardly the reason they’d trekked through to the main hub. For no reason other than to fill the painfully silent gap in conversation, they added: “Awfully quiet in here.”

[ineslundstrom-blog]

               Ines is no stranger to death. It has claimed both of their parents, taking the pillars of their life from them, and left them to reconfigure the architecture of their own life. They did not witness the passing of their father, lost when they were 24 years old to sudden heart failure in his sleep, or their mother, who perished in a construction accident when Ines was 29. But the loss deeply affected them, driving them to value isolation over attachment to best avoid the emotional scars that come with losing the people they love.

Their mourning process is typically carried out behind closed doors. They do their best to keep their emotions in check when surrounded by others, and while they may shed a few tears, their more intense bouts of grief are reserved for moments of solitude. When in the company of others, they do their best to be useful in organizing and looking after everyone else ⏤ they offer cups of water and tissues, ensure that everyone has received a plate of food, try their best to console, etc.

Ines likes to believe that they are unafraid of death in the sense that they are content with their academic and professional accomplishments and they know that they’re not leaving loved ones behind, but they are slowly beginning to fear it on this mission. They fear the lost potential, and while they believe the crew to be some of the most adept people they’ve ever known, they feel intense responsibility in their role for building and maintaining the structures on Remus ⏤ and given the necessity of shelter, they are haunted by the thought of having any catastrophic damage befall the existing buildings after they’re gone.

The loss of Nikolai has also refocused their perspective on the mission and the way they see other crew members. They weren’t close with the microbiologist, but they respected the work he did and know that losing him is a great blow to the team. At this point, Ines recognizes that the mission (and their fellow crew members) are all they have left of value in their life as far as purpose and emotional bonds go. They’ve grown close to a few people and are now evaluating how to manage the thoughts and feelings they’ve harbored toward their colleagues, as well as asking themselves crucial questions such as: Is it really necessary to squabble over such mundane things? Am I talking when I should be listening? Should I remind this person that I value our friendship? What can I offer this person? Should I tell them how I really feel?

Ines fears for every member of the crew, as Nikolai’s unexpected passing has reinforced the notion that no one is completely safe on this mission. Nik’s death has also made them confront their own mortality, and make plans to safeguard the crew in the event that they too find themselves ensnared in death’s grip. They have started to record a guide of basic structural planning, construction and repairs to ensure that the crew is not left unprepared when they pass. 

[stuckinreversemode]

[ineslundstrom-blog]

[ineslundstrom-blog]

 ✰ ⏤ RUTHERFORD.

Ellis tapped out a few notes on the keyboard resting in his lap. It was the only personal item he’d brought with him and the only thing that kept him sane during times like this. Well—there had not been times as bad as this one. Unconsciously he began another song, one Nikolai had overheard and liked a few weeks back. They’d never been very close but Ellis shouldered the blame for that since he wasn’t good at making friends. That didn’t change the amount of respect and admiration he had for Nik. How could someone just be gone? What about all the things they wanted to do? What happened to all their goals? Gone. Death was a black hole, how could any light come from this?

Music was very personal to Ellis for numerous reasons and he rarely played around the others, not because he was shy but because he didn’t want to bother anyone. Some people liked silence and while Ellis preferred to be alone, he needed the noise. His fingers paused over the keys when he heard someone approach. He gathered himself before turning towards them. “Hey. Sorry, you need help with something?” He asked.

          The music echoing throughout Lab Two when Ines entered was strangely melancholic. It was an old tune, easily deduced by the genre and low-quality sound engineering of the previous century. It wasn’t often that anyone played music in the lab; they tended to keep their respective work soundtracks to themselves through the use of wireless earbuds. But if the death of the crew’s revered microbiologist was any indication, nothing was impossible. In the day since the news had been delivered to everyone, there had been an array of responses ⏤ tears, anger, isolation, even laughter ⏤ and between the storm recovery and Nikolas’s sudden death, Ines suspected that it was a matter of time before things came to a breaking point. 

“It’s just me,” Ines announced as they approached their workspace, careful not to startle Ellis. They tried their best to grant him some privacy, only glancing over quickly to acknowledge him before returning their gaze to the mess of objects cluttering the desktop. “I just came by to collect my tablet.” It was a lie; they had heard the music on their way back to their quarters after a walk around the camp and decided to check in. But they were okay with acting under the guise of spontaneity, especially when it came to one of the crew members they regularly clashed with. “Everything okay in here?”

[ineslundstrom-blog]

✰ ⏤ KINSLEY.

        “Oh, no. We’re not foolish.” She gestured between her and them. The calm she had felt moments previous curled in her belly like a beast. It now wanted to lash out at the meteorologist. “Mhari is to blame. It’s her fucking job to factor in the weather. Not yours and certainly not mine. It would be like me blaming Sienna for piloting the ship. Mhari should have planned for this and we wouldn’t have to rebuild. Literally.” She set her jaw as she looked at Ines. It was frustrating to see her crops like this. They wanted to flourish – were starting to flourish. And now… She exhaled hotly and grabbed a piece of debris and threw it over her shoulder.

Savannah softened at their words. She hadn’t even thought about what it might be like for the engineer. She turned around to squint and see the buildings. “I can’t imagine that stress. Thankfully, you know how to do your job properly. No one was injured and the structures held.” All facts she knew they already knew. But it was the only comfort she could provide. At the offer, she found a small smile finding her lips. It was the first time she had smiled in days. “You would be willing to do that?” Her eyes focused on their face and found nothing but sincerity. “Focus on the main structures first as they’re far more important, but I would love to work with you on that. It might be a good idea. Who knows what else the planet might throw at us? Not Mhari, that’s for sure.” The bitterness coated her tongue, but she didn’t apologize for it. 

               Ines exhaled through their nose. Placing blame was a natural response to such an infuriating situation, but there was no indication that the meteorologist hadn’t done her due diligence in measuring for and reporting the storm. It was the first extreme weather event to affect the crew’s camp, after all. “Our only recourse right now is to fix things so that we won’t be vulnerable to another storm.” They were deliberate in their exclusion of Mhairi’s name. Savannah would be difficult to talk down from her position, and it wouldn’t do anyone any good to waste time on clean up for verbal sparring. 

“No one was hurt,” Ines confirmed, “but that didn’t make sitting through the whole thing any easier.” A lump was forming in their throat and they swallowed hard to be rid of it. Eight years wasn’t long enough to forget the details of their mother’s death: an accident, of course, but one caused by an oversight on her part. One miscalculation was all it had taken to destroy the woman’s new project, an impressively-designed glass dome that had buckled in its construction, killing six crew along with their mother. It was an event that served as a sobering reminder that Ines’ work was not immune to errors, no matter how many times tired eyes had reviewed the numbers. 

Savannah’s smile drew Ines from their thoughts. “Of course. I’m still assessing things, and I’ll have to speak with Ellis and Nico, but it’s entirely doable. Anything to spare us any more setbacks, yes? Maybe a clear polycarbonate grid system to protect the plants but allow them to get sunlight and be easily watered... The enclosures might even replicate a greenhouse effect to speed up growth.” Ines looked away from the redhead to survey the small field, already mentally calculating the labour required. “Have you considered expanding your plot? Do you have the resources for that?”

[ineslundstrom-blog]

✰ ⏤ WALSH.

Mhairi had dealt with death before, she’d had to as she had had a father at one point who was a stormchaser and often threw himself and others into danger. Members of his crew had died, they’d held small funerals, and things had eventually moved on.

When her father had died had been the first time she’d been forced to face death full in the view of her life. It wasn’t just someone she sort of knew, it was someone she loved; someone she depended on, and she felt she lost him too early and too brutally to ever fully come to terms with. She still didn’t talk with people about it to this day, but…

Somehow with this death…

Her arms curled around her knees, pulling her legs up to her body and letting her chin rest full on her knees; she looked like a child, so small and fragile there in a pale swath of sunlight beating down around the greenhouse. She’d thought being near the birds would help, to be honest, and yet she sat there sobbing uncontrollably in the way that… your body shakes a bit every now and again, but mostly you’re numb, tears streaming down your face like rain on a window and no one there to stop it because… how do you stop that sort of pain?

How do you say goodbye to one of the members of the only family you’ve known for thirty years? How do you cope with that in any way that seems meaningful or helpful besides just sobbing and keeping to yourself so as not disturb anyone else.

She should have known though, as close-knit and close-quarters as their group was, that someone would stumble upon her eventually. A shadow clouded her face in darkness and she murmured, “I’m fine…”

               Emotions were running high on Remus. It was an inevitable, human response to the destruction and loss the crew had endured over the previous days. Ines had done their best to placate others, to do what was required of them and perhaps a bit more to compensate for the lapses in duty that came as a result of collective mourning. It was the least they could do. Which is how Ines wound up in the greenhouse, in search of herbs to make a pot of tea to soothe the frayed nerves of their ⏤ well, their family. There was no sense in denying the group’s role in their life beyond that of colleagues. 

They had sourced a lemon from the kitchen and were on the hunt for peppermint and ginger, perhaps even fennel and licorice root if they could find it. But the sounds of sobbing had drawn them off the path and to the corner of the vast structure to where the meteorologist was curled up and crying. “Mhairi,” Ines said softly, mindful of the her space as they approached. They crouched down next to where the brunette was sitting, their knees protesting as they lowered their body to be closer to eye level with the woman. The sunlight streaming through the greenhouse’s ceiling returned to Mhairi’s face, illuminating the tear tracks on her face. Ines fought to tamp down the urge to reach out and wipe the wetness from her eyes, to provide some sort of physical comfort. But it wasn’t their place to make any assumptions about the needs of their crew mate. “Hey, it’s okay not to be okay. Grief is a natural reaction to loss.” 

Their words were sincere but felt phony on their tongue. Grief was a natural reaction to loss. So why was it that they struggled to summon the tears required of the mourning of Nikolai? Guilt twisted in their stomach as they regarded Mhairi. “I can leave you be if you’d like to be alone, but... you don’t have to be if you don’t want to.”

[ineslundstrom-blog]

✰ ⏤ DUPORT.

Anna hated the quiet. She always had to to be tapping, humming, or talking to drown about the void which threatened to swallow her. There was an empty place in the back of her mind that threatened to pull her in the second she dipped her toes into the silence. That was part of the reason she didn’t mind being in space: it felt familiar to her. She felt better when surrounded by the literal void, than having to face the one inside of her. 

That’s why she concerned herself with other people’s problems. If she could distract herself enough, she’d never have to focus on her own life. She liked to dive full force in to the schedule and the road blocks of the mission. Maybe one day when everything was peaceful she’d sink so low as to sabotage, just to give herself something to fix other than herself. 

“Oh no, thank you though,” she replied, momentarily spooked. She’d buried herself in rearranging the schedule to factor in the repairs and delays. They were set back by less than a month but still it irked her to see any complications arise so early. “I’ve had so much tea over the past few days I think my sweat has the same caffeine content as your average cup of coffee.”

               Ines offered a sympathetic smile at the sight of the captain’s sudden start when they’d offered a cuppa. It was an expression the engineer was familiar with in their years of accidentally perfecting feline stealth. “I didn’t mean to frighten.” They remained seated at the table long enough to let Anna acclimate to their presence. “So that’s what that smell is.” It was a silly remark, but they couldn’t help but utter it, a light laugh falling from their lips. Rising from their chair, Ines plucked the porcelain cup from the tabletop and moved into the kitchen area to toss what remained of their previous cup before helping themselves to a fresh teabag and dispensing a mugful of hot water. 

As the leaves soaked, Ines glanced around at the appliances, taking stock of the space they’d spent time in but rarely paid attention to. Their gaze lingered on the shelf designated to various coffees and teas, and they called out to their superior: “If you change your mind on the tea, I’m sure I can dig up some herbal.” When the cup of tea had brewed to their liking, they finished fixing the cup with milk and sugar and returned to the seating area. “I take it our current state is what has you also up and burning the midnight oil,” Ines said with a slight sigh as they settled back into their seat. “It’s a shit situation, but I think we might come out of it better off than we were initially. The storm helped me identify a few weak points for repairs, but I can run them by you at a later time. How are you holding up?”