such a young face, such a sad soul

Forever 22; stage actress and triple threat extrodinaire

[txnekekox-blog]

He smiled listening at her “See, now I have to see you up there. But I understand how it feels, I used to feel that rush before and every time I see someone doing what I feel this tingle feeling in my hand of wanting to do it. It’s like a good drug”

He chuckled and nodded “Yeah, the drink it was just an excuse to get up, this seat are definitely not for guys my size” He stood up and started walking “Okay, so now for dirty talks, are they doing a good job? I mean I wouldn’t know they are awesome but then again this is the first time I see a musical, so I have nothing to compare to”

[inessatruelove]

“Well don’t worry. Soon enough you will be able to see me up there. I rarely ever take breaks from shows, or at least not long ones so whenever I know when my next productions going on, I’ll tell you,” she said with a smile and a nod. She understood what he meant. And she could never deny herself that rush she wanted to feel.

“I don’t think many seats are for guys your size,” she mentioned with a giggle; she had to admit it was a little ridiculous seeing him compared to the seat. Nessa led him out of the theatre and back toward the bar they had on this floor, easily moving through the crowd to the counter. “They are! I've only heard a few strained notes and I know it’s because Hannah’s sick; she’s typically pitch perfect. Astoria does really well with their productions so I would’ve been surprised if someone bad was cast. And no fumbles yet, though I’m just waiting. Sometimes that makes the best moments, recovering from slipups.

[gustxvorxmirez-blog]

“I know right? I will just love to actually see them wanting to be more involve. You know to be something more than just the artist, more writers, more directors and everything. You know there is a school in San Francisco called Women’s Audio Mission, non-profit organization dedicated to the advancement of women in music production and the recording arts. I need to find more women from there to start working, female artist should be more like Björk or Grimes, you know own your own music and don’t let men take over.”

[inessatruelove]

“Who’s saying we don’t want to get more involved? We’ve just now gotten to the spot where we can write more, direct more and actually get credit.. unless of course, it’s the Oscars but I’m so close to giving up on the Academy. But that school sounds cool, and really needed. More places like that need to open for a lot of the entertainment industries; I’d love to see more directors in film and stage, especially women of color.”

[oliverathbone]

Oliver chuckled softly, picking three other boxes with little effort and placing them on the brunette’s shopping cart. “There you go, miss.” He smiled, looking up at her and meeting her brown eyes for a moment. Shoving his hands down his hoodie’s pockets, Oliver tilted his head to the side when she mentioned the Founders Festival, his mind taking him back to the specific scene that she went on about. “Inessa.” He repeated, before drawing out his hand and offering it to her. “I’m Oliver. It’s nice to finally meet you. I remember it now, taking the snow out of your hair. It’s probably one of the few things that I liked committing to memory when it came to that weekend.”

[inessatruelove]

Perfect. Now she could make s’mores whenever she wanted to for at least a couple of months. She smiled over at Oliver as she leaned against her cart. “Yep, Inessa, or you can call me Nessa, most people do,” she mentioned, reaching out to shake his hand before her arms lightly crossed over her chest. “It’s finally nice to place a name to a face. And I’m glad that it was of the good things about that day, it did turn bad really fast after that. Honestly I just found a nice place tucked away from everyone else and just stayed there for the rest of the weekend. Too much chaos for me.”

[nicolaweiss]

“Officially? Monday. Well… I don’t even know. I’m not even sure if we’re official or if he’s just hanging around because he feels compelled to help me, but still, we kissed at the gala and we were coming home to–you know, talk about what we were going to do and how things would be from now on, and then this happened and we ended up not talking.” Letting out a sigh, she dropped her hands to her lap, trying not to sound too much as a whiny little girl, but probably failing miserably at it. “Truth is, I’ve been in love with him since–you know, forever. Since I met him six years ago, but he had a girlfriend back then and we ended up becoming friends. Real friends, great friends. But a couple of weeks ago, on my birthday, we went on a weekend getaway with a couple of friends of ours and they dared us to kiss, because he had lost the bets on the games that evening. So we kissed and it was like my whole world was coming together, only to fall apart because I knew that we were just friends. I guess this is one of those times where I don’t hate being wrong.” She chuckled softly, looking down at her hands, before she looked back up at Inessa when they started talking about the drunk driver that had hit them. 

“You know, I wish none of this would have happened… And I swear I’m trying my best not to let it get me down, because it could have been much worse. I could have been told that I’d never walk again, but he’s going to get to live with the fact that he hurt someone and we’re definitely going to sue him, so there’s that. It might not be ideal, but I think that out of the two of us, he’s got the worst deal.” Nic did offer the brunette a small smile, to show her that she wasn’t lying when she said that she would be already, even if it did hurt to do that–to smile, to pretend that she was okay when she was actually extremely frustrated. So, instead of focusing on that, Nicola focused on her friend, because that would be better in her opinion. She had heard about them bringing Next to Normal to Astoria, which, she had been really excited about because it was a show very close to her heart, always had been. “Wow, really? Ness–that’s… that’s great, my goodness! I’m very happy for you!”

[inessatruelove]

Inessa listened to Nyx explain about everything surrounding her and Caleb, eyes settling on her friend while she gave small signs that she was listening, little nods here and there. But she waited until everything was said before speaking again, wanting to formulate what she actually wanted to say to her friend instead of relying on gut instinct; she was always like this when it came to relationships, had been since Benny; which was probably why all she had had since then were just casual flirtations, nothing where she had to deal with, well this. “Well, first off, I’m glad that you guys at least broke that barrier, because you guys are cute, even though it sucks that this has happened right afterwards. But the fact that he’s still here is a good sign, and I doubt it’s only because he feels like he has to be. That boy in there didn’t have the face of someone who was just here because he had to be. Secondly; you guys do need to talk. And I know this obviously isn’t the best of circumstances, but if you guys really want this to work out you guys are just going to have to sit down and talk about what you two are, because if not, you’re gonna sit and stew and wonder about it and that does nothing good. If growing up showed me anything it’s that conversations are crucial, in all relationships.”

“As long as he’s getting the worst end of the stick, I’ll be happier,” Nessa commented, softening her face for her friend; she just couldn’t stand the thought of someone being that stupid and putting her friend in this kind of trouble. “And you’re gonna be alright Nyxa, it’s gonna be hard, you know that, but it’s gonna be alright. You have a lot of people looking out for you, including me.” As conversation turned to her she seemed to relax a bit more, less tense and less worried now for her friend now that she knew she was at least in some was at least alive and in one piece. “Yeah, I was doing all this secret auditioning for things, all kinds of shows around Nova Pangaea though trying to mainly stick to shows coming to Astoria and when they brought Next to Normal up I just couldn’t say no. And I had a lot of offers, but, you know I can rarely turn down musicals, particularly when they’re talking about making it diverse. It’s going to be beautiful and I hope you know that I expect you out in the audience. Not that I don’t think you wouldn’t already be out there. I know you.”

[sofiaxmatthews-blog]

Sofia couldn’t say working at Blackout was her favouritething to do. She preferred the comfort of Kingston’s, a more relaxedsetting — except on Sport’s night — where she didn’t feel sototally out of place. She didn’t look the part. Sofia’s long blondestrands were always straightened when she was in blackout — themost she’d done with her appearance when it came to going to work.She put on makeup— something she rarely ever had to do whenworking at her other job. But she needed her position at Blackout, asmuch as she truthfully considered taking on a third job, just to beable to breathe a little bit easier — even if it sacrificed sleep.But tonight — tonight was too much. She wanted to go home, to cryin her bed, have a woe-is-me night and wake up tomorrow and forceanother smile, face the world and forget her troubles all whiletrying to make a few tips at work. Recognizing the brunette from theGala, hand clapped to her mouth as she watched the scene withwide-eyes. She couldn’t ever do that — she’d be too nervous to dothat. Heart stammering in her chest, holding onto the empty tray fordear life as she watched him run – though the blonde supposed thedeath grip was strong enough to break his wrist in the process –and move to the other end of the club all together. Relief flushingagainst her cheeks, hiding her sight with her hand clapped over hereyes. “Thank you—- I think— I was at my breaking pointwith those two—” She admitted, voice straining as she resistedthe simple urge to just sob. She couldn’t do that — not at work.

[inessatruelove]

She felt his bones crack as he pulled away from her with something like a yelp, Inessa got no pleasure from that though, she just glared after him until she was sure he wasn’t coming back (not that she couldn’t handle him if he did come back; he was just a simple boy; reminded her too much of Benny) and then she turned back to Sofia, softening the harshness on her face to concern. “It’s no problem, no one deserves to be treated like that, especially at work. And no guy should think it’s alright to touch a woman without permission, particularly fuckboys like that,” Nessa spat our the word like it was sin then noticed the look on the other girl’s face and used her hand to motion. “Come on, do you have a back room we can go to? Or we could go to the VIP bathroom they have a nice sitting room where you can just take a few minutes to get out of... this mess.”

[samblackwell-blog1]

“We’re both trying. I guess it’s harder for me because I’ve never been one for relationships, but, despite rocky few weeks, I’d say we’re doing fine. Everyday is a new lesson.” She laughed softly, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. “Romeo and Juliet–you know, I’ve never liked it. They claim it to be the most romantic story in the world, but to me it’s just humankind at their best, making lousy decisions and blaming them on love. I’m sure you were great, though. Were you Juliet?” She asked, out of curiosity, before raising her brows in surprise, a smile gracing her lips. “Big project? Wow… And no, I’ve never heard of that one. What is it about?”

[inessatruelove]

“I never really liked it either... maybe the first time I read it, less for Romeo and Juliet and more for Benvolio and Mercutio... especially once that movie came out. The one with Leo.” She gave a little smile at the thought of it, reminding herself that she should rewatch it later. “But other than that, you’re pretty spot on, just awful decision after the next. And yeah, I was Juliet, we got stellar reviews so that’s always lovely.” But her next big project was the one she was truly excited for, as she always was when she got cast in things like this. She never thought the exhilaration would die out, even if she lived forever. “Well, I can’t spoil too much because I want you to come see it, but it’s about a family struggles with dealing with mental health, particularly the mom’s and it’s.. absolutely beautiful.”

[alainecastlemore]

“That’s pretty generous of you.” Olivia laughed lightly. At least someone here seemed to be having a good day. Hopefully being around people who were in a better mood than she was would at least lift her spirits a bit. “Sound like you definitely have something to celebrate.”

[inessatruelove]

“Oh, I try to be as generous as I can, but especially with something like this, it’s kind of like a mini celebration where everyone in the bar can celebrate with me without having to care about what I’m celebrating,” she explained not sure if she was making any sense. She was just giddy, as she always was when she got a new role. “Oh I do. I just got cast in a big production that’s coming to Astoria so, That’s always exciting!”

[inessatruelove]

On the Streets <Flashback> | Nessa & Jon

[jonathanryder-blog]

“Interesting way to phrase it but accurate nonetheless I guess.” Hearing her murmur he debated on what he could say to ease the situation, but ultimately the decision was her own whether she drank or didn’t. Seeing her conflict he stepped forwards slowly to pick up the bag before it stained the floor. “I know it seems foul at first but with time it does get easier to cope with, how about you get a shower and freshen up? It’ll likely help you feel a bit better.”

[inessatruelove]

“Well if you want some interesting way of phrasing things, you’ve picked up the right homeless twenty-two year old off the street,” she said, giving a slight shrug with it but her voice was tinged with sardonic. But after the blood, her casual, strong demeanor faded, she could never keep it up when it came to this because, well she just hated it. She hated that this was what she had become. “How? It’s blood, how does this get easier,” she muttered, her bobbing in a nod at his mention of a shower, though she frowned. “I don’t have any clean clothes to change into though.”

[yo-yo-johannes-deactivated20160]

“Aw, that truly is a shame. How are you lovely love?” He asked holding an arm out to her for a side hug. “I did! You looked absolutely gorgeous. I was floored - but then again i always am by your presence.” 

[inessatruelove]

Inessa turned her body so she could give him a full on hug, never skimpy with these and plus it had been forever since she had actually seen him through more than just a phone screen. “Good you better be. But in particular with that picture because i loved that dress. But I’m pretty great, worried about Nyx and excited about a new production coming up, but great! How are you? Where did you disappear to?”

[inessatruelove]

On the Streets <Flashback> | Nessa & Jon

[jonathanryder-blog]

“Don’t let them hear that” he joked leading the way, the lights were another way to make sure she knew there wasn’t anyone else waiting or the like in the room. “Perhaps for some, but anatomy is fascinating to me.” Picking up on the conflict she faced he lingered, “I know it’s difficult but it’s a part of the life if we want to live. Better to get it done as fast as possible… You don’t have to think about it quite so much.”

[inessatruelove]

“Well I guess someone has to find it fascinating or we’re all screwed at some point,” she mentioned; not that it made a difference to her. No one had saved her, unless she counted this gift of immortality. But her distaste for everything really came out when he brought out the blood, the frown etched on her face and her stomach churning with disgust but also desire when she held the bag. “But I don’t even know if I want to live... not like this,” she murmured eyes still wide before she took a deep breath, using her canines to tear the bag open enough to start drinking. She hated it; and she loved it and she hated that even more. She was only going to drink half a bag, enough to sate her but when she looked down Nessa noticed she had drained it and her stomach lurched before her hand dropped it, shaking a bit. “I hate this.”

[gustxvorxmirez-blog]

“Yes, I know Skrillex and Diplo did that, but you know what this world needs? More female music producers, more Sylvia Massys…”

[inessatruelove]

“The world needs more female... everything, to be honest. But definitely in the more technical parts of the music business. Really in the entertainment business altogether.”

[sofiaxmatthews-blog]

Sofiadidn’t like the crowd that night in Blackout. Too many guys — notenough drinks – not enough distractions and then – cornered. Thequestions, the — was that their attempt at flirting? Sofia didn’twant to know. “Please just let me get back to my job,” She asked,clutching the empty tray to her chest. Purposely hiding the name tag,curling a loose strand behind her ear as she began to dart forward,as a hand blocked her. “Let me go—”

[inessatruelove]

She’d been in the VIP section, Nessa and some of her theatre friends enjoying a night out at Blackout as they did from time to time and even though alcohol didn’t have much of an effect on her, it was still nice to drink a little and spend time in this type of environment. It reminded her a lot of her past. She was heading towards the bathrooms (on the public floor, the VIP ones were full) when she saw the slight struggle and then heard the girl’s voice and a flash of anger with through her as she quickly ignored the bathroom and went over to the scene, sliding forcibly between Sofia and the guys, grabbing the guys hand in her steel grip. “Ay, if you don’t want me to break your wrist and then your jaws, you’re gonna step away and stop bothering her, got it?”

[txnekekox-blog]

He turned to look at her, he should had figure out that it had an act too, but then again, he had never seen a show with two acts, he relaxed on the chair and smile, he was enjoying it, it wasn’t his kind of story, his kind of music, but it was something new, it was like nothing he had ever seen before and it was impressive how much passion they put on it. “Yes, I wasn’t really expecting something like that, and it’s not the music I usually hear, but wow, I see why people make lines in NY to go to shows like this ones.” 

He smiled “Do you want one? Drinks are on me”

[inessatruelove]

“Yeah, and for some people, this rush is kind of addicting, always wanting to go see shows and feel this excitement. I know it’s part of the reason I got into show business, I not only wanted to feel this rush all of the time but I wanted to help make something that would do the same for other,” Nessa explained with a smile. It was good to see that Tane was enjoying himself, even if it wasn’t the type of thing he’d normally be into.

“Sure!” she replied slowly standing up and moving out of the aisle of seats waiting for him to follow. “I always have to get up during intermission and walk around anyways. Too much sitting.”

[idkrnnnn]

“Is it?” Was it? Bottom line, no one knows Serena’s cards but her. Truthfully, she hides them behind digits and greedy palms until just the right moment. Whether or not she’s trying for their lips to meet is an unaswered question that may go unaswered for a while, but it also may not. She feathers a hand behind one of the other bartenders, whispering in her ear before her frame is out from behind the bar’s restriction. “Well, you coming?” She says, reaching the door and opening it for the duo.

[inessatruelove]

“Only you know that, I guess,” Inessa stated with a light life of her shoulders and a cheeky smile, going back to her drink but letting her eyes follow Serena casually. Her eyebrows perk up when she sees Serena go speak to one of her coworkers and by the time the other girl is out from behind the bar, Nessa’s already done with her drink, only drops left in the bottom of her glass. At the question, she pushed herself from the bar stool, grabbing her bag and following Serena to the door. “Why not? Nothing else going on tonight.”

[inessatruelove]

On the Streets <Flashback> | Nessa & Jon

[jonathanryder-blog]

“Some of my friends are older, but to you yes I suppose I am old.” He merely let his shoulders shrug to her comment as the elevator arrived gesturing for her to exit first good-naturedly before he followed and proceeded to walk down to the room he was staying in. With a swipe of a card he opened the door and headed inside, holding it for her before he turned on the light immediately going over to move some of the large medical textbooks left haphazardly strewn on the desk “light reading,” he commented in a light attempt at a joke but after that he went over to the minibar and opened the door to fetch a bag of blood as he had promised. “Animal as requested.”

[inessatruelove]

“Well, if they’re older than you they must be ancient,” she commented, moving out of the elevators with a smirk but waiting for Jon to take the lead again. It was his hotel suite that they were going to. Before she stepped through the door, she peeked inside, making sure it was safe and that there was no one else inside. once it was cleared, she walked in looking around more closely, seeing the textbooks and moving over to flip through. “Looks kind of boring,” she replied honestly but then when he handed Nessa the bag of blood she took a hard swallow, seeming apprehensive, but also hungry. “I really... really don’t like this. It’s so weird.”

[inessatruelove]

nicolaweiss:

“Technically not that long.” Nicola said, running her fingers through her hair after letting out a sigh. And it was the truth… Compared to other injuries people had to go recover from, hers wasn’t all that bad, but obviously, to her, it was the end of the world. “Six to eight weeks, for a full recovery, or so the doctors say, but it just feels like a slap in the face, you know? More like a punch in the guts.” Shaking her head, Nyx then wiped the tears that kept streaming down her cheeks, sniffling. It just felt unfair and like a damn joke. “It’s ironic… Because I was trying to be more independent, to do things by myself and put myself out there on my own, and now I can’t even shower by myself, Nessie.” Finally, she averted her eyes to the brunette, pressing her lips together. “I had an audition for a movie on Friday, I was going to go to Gustavo’s show…” Again, she took a deep breath. “I know I sound like a crying baby, because things could have been worse and they’re not, but I feel like I’m entitled to whine for a day or two.”

Chewing on the inside of her cheek, she let Inessa’s works sink in, trying to find strength in them instead of just sulking. “I’m going home tomorrow and physical therapy should start soon… But I think that what bothers me the most is to know that I’ll have to depend on people to do simple things such as showering and changing clothes. Not to mention the fact that I probably won’t have full control of my bladder, so hey. Going back to being a baby, really. Just as Caleb and I have finally decided to give it a try, I’m back to being a baby. How sexy is that?” Looking away, Nicola just sat there in silence pulling the glasses from her face and wiping them with her covers, because they had gotten all foggy due to her tears. “I’ll be okay. I just need to feel sad for a couple of days more. Because it really sucks and I hate it. I hate the world. I want to break everything, especially the face of that drunk driver that invaded our lane.“ Once she finally realized what she had said, Nic bit lightly on her bottom lip. “That was rude. I’m sorry. Can’t we talk about you instead?”

Man six to eight weeks was a long enough time, either just over a month or two and Inessa understood that losing that much time, even feeling like you’ve lost that much time would be awful. ‘Of course it does. I don’t blame you for feeling like that, I-” But she didn’t know how to move on with that so she just fell silent again, listening to Nyx talk about all the things she had had set up for the next week broke Nessa’s heart; it reminded her so much of when she had died; of having all of her plans fall apart because of what she had become. “No, no, Nyxa, you should be upset. I mean, you shouldn’t be.. you don’t deserve but this is still an awful thing, and you deserve to be upset about it. It doesn’t matter that worse has happened to other people, don’t diminished your own problems worrying about other people,” she told her friend seriously.

“Wait you and Caleb? When did that happen?” she asked particularly in shock and but also understanding why Nyx was so upset about all of this. Nessa couldn’t imagine what it would be like to be able to do.. nothing and have to rely on everyone for simple help. But she knew she’d hate it. But she gave Nyx a smile and reached out for her hand. “Oh come on. You’ll still be the sexiest person I know. And I know some sexy people, Nyxa.” Nessa looked away for the moment, looking down at her lap, but then perked up again at the mention of a drunk driver. And by perk up, she was filled with rage, clenching her hands and when she spoke again it was through gritted teeth. “No it wasn’t. It’s right, these... assholes need to stop driving drunk they need to stop being stupid because.... well shit like this happens.”

She was still angry when Nyx asked her about her life, but Nessa took a deep breath to settle and calm down. It felt wrong to really talk about the good things in her life when Nyx was like this. But since she wanted to hear it, Nessa gave another small sigh before speaking. “Well, I guess if it will help you think about something else.. we can. But I don’t know where to start.. Umm, well, I guess the biggest news first. Did you hear how they’re bringing Next to Normal back to Astoria... Well it’s gonna be an all diverse cast and.. Well I’m going to be Natalie,” she said, giving a smile, definitely excitement behind it even though it was slightly muted with her mood.

[nightqueencersei-deactivated201]

I can’t lose you.

[nicolaweiss]

@inessatruelove