After numerous failed attempts of uploading this on IGTV, Facebook, and YouTube the whole day because of copyright issues (really ironic since it’s my own mother’s song), I’m finally trying to upload this here. I’m really hoping this works. If you’re successfully here from the link I posted and can finally watch this, thank you so much for going through all the effort to accept and search for what I’m trying to share. 🙏🏼🙇🏻♀️💚
Happy Birthday, Ben. 🤍 | Benjy by Azean Irdawaty (Cover)
Mama wrote this song when Ben was born.
So I found it fitting to sing it as his birthday tribute. Our first one without him; his first one back with her. ❤️
I was so nervous to sing this and put it out for public. I didn’t want to ruin Mama’s most personal song, and I was afraid I wouldn’t do it justice. My singing is nowhere near Mama’s but in the end, I’m doing this as part of my healing process. ❤️🩹
Mama loves all her children, and Ben loves everyone in the family too, but the two of them had a special inseparable bond.
“Bak bahtera tiada haluan,
Ku telah hanyut kekosongan,
Kau menjelma bawa bahagia,
Hidupku kini penuh makna.”
Sounds like something any new mother would say to their baby but we know, and God knows, she meant a lot more when she wrote that.
May you find peace there now with Mama, Ben. One thing remains that
“Meskipun dunia memandangmu hina,
Bagiku, engkaulah raja yang bertakhta.”
That line always gets to me, ever since we were small. And despite hearing it on repeat almost every day this past two months, it still didn’t fail to tear me up again this time when I sang it for you. And I mean every word singing it, Ben.
“Tak pernah kusesalkan kehadiranmu.”
I pray you know how thankful I am, and Kakak is, for everything you’ve done for us when you could. And despite our fights, our love for you never faded. You are still our one and only brother; my one and only Ben.
Thank you for immortalising both yourself and Ben with this song, Ma. My love and understanding for both of you have only deepened the more I listen to this song.
Your “kasih hati” has returned now, Ma.
Happy birthday, Ben. ❤️
“Oh Tuhan, berilah [mereka] restumu.” 🤲🏼
Al-Fatihah
Ben, Khaeryll Benjamin Ibrahim
17th September 1978 - 11th July 2021
Mama, Azean Irdawaty Yusoef
27th February 1950 - 17th December 2013