Inez's diaryology.

Recently turn twenty four and ready to venture more.

[inezandanarie]

Thought via Path

A while ago I was tagged by Ncim to share #20thingsaboutme... yes, challenge accepted! 1. I was born in August 10th, share the same date with the opening of Museè de Louvre (one of my bucket list) 2. Am the only child and grew up without a father. Fortunately, I have a supermom which can do both role at times (but still an overprotective one) 3. Likes purple. Have a lot of purple clothes and loves to mix match them. Many friends thought my clothes were all purple 4. Always have the thought of working in advertising soon after I'm graduating, even though I'm majoring in computer science. And hey, it happened! 5. A blood type B, tend to procrastinate and super cuek 6. As a Leo, sometimes when I'm angry it's quite an uproar. But I don't hold grudge when it's solved 7. I'd rather buy shoes than clothes. Never get bored buying them! 8. Have a driving license since 2011 & never drive since (until last week) 9. I get this happy feeling when I can make people laugh at my jokes (it's rare) 10. Clumsy - silly - curious at times... there's this one time when I got my head stuck in a chair when I was in kindergarten. It was epic 11. Learn how to ride a motorcycle on a vespa recently. Fell in love with it! 12. Consider myself as a very liberal person & not a very religious one. Hence, I believe Allah is always there for me 13. I think I might cry if I could get a chance to meet Nabi Muhammad SAW someday... 14. I don't think I can get enough sleep 15. Had a hard time trusting people 16. Wants to have a pug.... like badly 17. Loves to travel and luckily now I have a life partner who shares the same interest 18. Dreaming of a by-the-beach/garden party wedding since teenager 19. I'm in a different-belief relationship and it's by far my longest one 20. Been on a shortest date ever (only one night) before I said yes, and resulting in one and a half year steady (yet bumpy at times) relationship with a stranger whom I love very much ♥ (you know who you are lek) Next time, it's ur turn! (If you haven't tagged yet) with Teguh, Bradita, Lourencia, Deny, Gita, Rinaldy, and Christian – Read on Path.

[inezandanarie]

I live in a fast pace, sometimes slower in a manner way.

And then, I fell in love.

Thank you for making me feel like living in a fairy tale, but always keep me remembered that earth is the best place to living reality... with you.

I love you the same way I learned how to ride; scared but reckless.

[inezandanarie]

Sundays stand still. Sundays start slow. Sundays are for watching the day develop. Sundays are for exploring. Sundays are for aimless drives, for cups of coffee, for waking up next to the person you love and finding each other there in the rumpled bedsheets. Or you spend Sunday by yourself, relying on your own company. Sunday is quiet and accepting of that; Sunday doesn’t pressure you to find diversion in other people.

Kara Nesvig

http://thoughtcatalog.com/kara-nesvig/2014/01/what-sundays-are-for/

[inezandanarie]

25 Things To Do Before You Turn 25

1. Make peace with your parents. Whether you finally recognize that they actually have your best interests in mind or you forgive them for being flawed human beings, you can’t happily enter adulthood with that familial brand of resentment.

2. Kiss someone you think is out of your league; kiss models and med students and entrepreneurs with part-time lives in Dubai and don’t worry about if they’re going to call you afterward.

3. Minimize your passivity.

4. Work a service job to gain some understanding of how tipping works, how to keep your cool around assholes, how a few kind words can change someone’s day.

5. Recognize freedom as a 5:30 a.m. trip to the diner with a bunch of strangers you’ve just met.

6. Try not to beat yourself up over having obtained a ‘useless’ Bachelor’s Degree. Debt is hell, and things didn’t pan out quite like you expected, but you did get to go to college, and having a degree isn’t the worst thing in the world to have. We will figure this mess out, I think, probably; the point is you’re not worth less just because there hasn’t been an immediate pay off for going to school. Be patient, work with what you have, and remember that a lot of us are in this together.

7. If you’re employed in any capacity, open a savings account. You never know when you might be unemployed or in desperate need of getting away for a few days. Even $10 a week is $520 more a year than you would’ve had otherwise.

8. Make a habit of going outside, enjoying the light, relearning your friends, forgetting the internet.

9. Go on a 4-day, brunch-fueled bender.

10. Start a relationship with your crush by telling them that you want them. Directly. Like, look them in the face and say it to them. Say, I want you. I want to be with you.

11. Learn to say ‘no’ — to yourself. Don’t keep wearing high heels if you hate them; don’t keep smoking if you’re disgusted by the way you smell the morning after; stop wasting entire days on your couch if you’re going to complain about missing the sun.

12. Take time to revisit the places that made you who you are: the apartment you grew up in, your middle school, your hometown. These places may or may not be here forever; you definitely won’t be.

13. Find a hobby that makes being alone feel lovely and empowering and like something to look forward to.

14. Think you know yourself until you meet someone better than you.

15. Forget who you are, what your priorities are, and how a person should be.

16. Identify your fears and instead of letting them dictate your every move, find and talk to people who have overcome them. Don’t settle for experiencing .000002% of what the world has to offer because you’re afraid of getting on a plane.

17. Make a habit of cleaning up and letting go. Just because it fit at one point doesn’t mean you need to keep it forever — whether ‘it’ is your favorite pair of pants or your ex.

18. Stop hating yourself.

19. Go out and watch that movie, read that book, listen to that band you already lied about watching, reading, listening to.

20. Take advantage of health insurance while you have it.

21. Make a habit of telling people how you feel, whether it means writing a gushing fan-girl email to someone whose work you love or telling your boss why you deserve a raise.

22. Date someone who says, “I love you” first.

23. Leave the country under the premise of “finding yourself.” This will be unsuccessful. Places do not change people. Instead, do a lot of solo drinking, read a lot of books, have sex in dirty hostels, and come home when you start to miss it.

24. Suck it up and buy a Macbook Pro.

25. Quit that job that’s making you miserable, end the relationship that makes you act like a lunatic, lose the friend whose sole purpose in life is making you feel like you’re perpetually on the verge of vomiting. You’re young, you’re resilient, there are other jobs and relationships and friends if you’re patient and open. 

[inezandanarie]

HAPPY (belated) NEW YEAR!

#It's frickin' 8-days since new year hype already long gone, replaced by a long dime of working hours, and of course, daily routines. Still, the festive feeling shyly lurking behind every party-everyday-hyped-people, and I may have been infected a bit :)

Anyways, happy belated new year!

We have definitely succeeded (or achieved), one and many things in 2012. We have succeeded in avoiding doomsday, almost (or still?) got away from fiscal cliff, grateful of dancing the horse move and being in PSY's ERA (yes, I caps lock-ed just right) and so forth.

Some of us, namely me, succeeded in graduating in the age of 22, getting the very first full time job before I graduated, and manage to pick-up a far more better future job than the mentioned earlier. Less stress, more skill to learn and have. 

Speaking of 2013's resolution... has anyone settled for any?

Mine goes same every year, try to be more positive each year. As for last year's, thankfully I have achieved two out of three. Shamelessly, the one I couldn't seem to achieved is having a long and steady relationship. I guess I still hoped the very same for this year's resolution.....amen.

What are we waiting for 2013?

Samsung S4, iPhone 5S, 4.2 Lime Pie version are just some giz to be brag this year. Weezer, Stone Roses, even Sigur Ros coming to Jakarta are none other than the most hot topic to be anticipated among music lovers. Don't forget about the selections of most exciting domestic travel destinations such as Sawarna (West Java), Raja Ampat, Tanjung Bira, and so on. Indo Chine, Bangkok, Okinawa, and Busan are....let me say it's a dream that worth dreaming and about to be true once the money series come into bank account.

Don't forget the Hallyu Wave that keeps going stronger and stronger. (me lovey)

And the election is coming soon.... HA! (it's serious)

Hope this year will be far more better, far more luck and far more grateful-ness to be shared. 

Let's enjoy!

[inezandanarie]

H+6

Officially 6 days since I am (officially) twenty-two.

Well, mentally and physically, still felt like I'm twenty one. For some reasons, I felt time stand still. Felt like the world is revolving in one place. Felt like I keep moving on one loop. Felt like.... embracing something with no end.

Nevertheless, I am truly blessed. 

I keep looking for more challenges, more interesting people and of course, love.

Kadang rasa minder itu tetap ada. 

Anyway, some of my birthday blessings..... first one;

Krocos really know what's my favourite.

and me holding the second birthday blessings : 

and only real friends knew my fave cake in the whole entire world! Sorry, it's not red velvet :p

Hope there's no worries (but of course, the worry is always shadowing in our every steps) in the following years.... but the pressure's always there, and we had nothing to do except preparing ourselves for it.

Have a good luck in those years, Inez. Many happy returns, and wishes all the best luck you could get. :) 

[inezandanarie]

Wish I could see some kind of this someday on Borobudur. :)

source : http://weheartit.com/entry/35032046

[inezandanarie]

August 10th, 2012

I am 22 years old.... already.

Thank you ya Allah, for giving me a good life so far. 

Haven't been great, but I know you had me in your great path somewhere in the future. Yes, I always believe in that.

Here's my thank you;

For giving me a great mom indeed, whom I love wholeheartedly in the whole universe. I wish I could give back all the things she had given and done to me in these years....equally and much, much more.

For giving me great friends, who inspired me A LOT. Being in a bunch of silly geniuses, beautiful geeks, charming ones, with all their different personalities made me feels more grateful. They are, indeed, rare jewels in my golden years :)

For lovers who may come and go, thanks for giving me those brokenhearted times. I keep moving on, and as time goes by, I still have the optimism for a better fairy tale story....someday.

Alhamdulillah....... :")

From having my final thesis done to having a full-time job, and from having a blast holiday to being in a screwed relationship, all done at age 21. I could get pass through all that, and still survive happily.

Well my birthday wishes this year are simple ones.

From having a great time ahead.... to meet new people who gave positive ambiance.

From having no more anger to the world (which is already shrink somewhere from time to time) to having optimism that someday I could have my own 'home'.

From having a screwed relationships over and over again to  having my own fairy tale story with the right person. Life may unfair, but I could create one in my own ideal world.

From savvy to gravy. From burned ashes to raised wings.

Stay young. Stay foolish. Work harder. Play harder. Pray harder.

Happy birthday to me!

[inezandanarie]

Me : Ngitung puasa pake hisab kale. Praj : Hisab? Oh yang pake kerudung itu ya. Me : Kok pake kerudung sih ? Masa yang mimpin FPI pake kerudung? Praj : Hah? Me : Sorban kale. Praj : ??? Me : Itu lhoooooooo....... yang pake sorban. Habib. Praj : *awkward silence* *die in laughter* JAUHHHH!

-Sebuah pusat perbelanjaan di Kuningan, peralihan tiba-tiba dari topik puasa menjadi FPI.

[inezandanarie]

Smoky choices.

When I first hold my first cigarette, the 'Am I about to do the wrong thing?' question doesn't pop in my head at all. One thing does occur is, 'What's next? What  cigar am gonna take after this one?"

Smoking is one decision that every smokers have the consequences for. For instance, people might smoke because of this several reasons :

 (might) want to look cooler;

social demands (similar to reason above);

simply trying to get the feel of smoking, (another way to say that you want to justify social assumptions);

stress-reliever;

etc.

And yes, I tried. And never been addicted to it. My reason is simple; smoking is just one way being a stress-reliever, that's all. Never crossed my mind that smoke is often saw as a way to be a social climber, jet set, or whatever it called. 

Back in 2009, I was one of the smokers whom being loyal to one brand only. A Mild menthol. For me, nothing beats the after feeling. When social demands require a black menthol Marlboro to be seen as 'cool', I stick to my first one. 

I know this facts, that smoke:

Could cause impotency;

Could cause impregnancy/miscarriage;

Could cause stroke, heart trouble, liver;

etc

But yes, I've made my choice. I didn't burn my money like those anti-smokers said; I use it as a way of my stress-reliever. I knew all those risks. But it is a choice I've take, including all the consequences afterwards. Funny thing is, I used to be an anti-smoker, coz I didn't like the fog, in which I still didn't like it 'til now. I've get used to its smell, I love the smell. But I didn't like the fog caused by cigar. Weird me, yes it is :)

Smoking, is a choice. One, especially adults, shouldn't smoke because the social  requires them to. Many of adults (that I know) smoke because their social circle wants him/her to. It's the EDUCATION of smoking this country needs, not the cigar itself. What did the cigar do? God must have created it for some reasons.What is need to be taken point of, the minute whoever inhale the smoke, it's the crucial moment they needs to decide. Whether they're gonna be addicted to it; whether they gonna leave it; or they could control it. 

I, for instance, take the latter one. I see smoke as I was stated before, a stress-reliever. But this past months, I saw it as a way to be nostalgic. My ex used to smoke a Marlboro Light Menthol, and I always remembered how I loved his smell afterwards. I had have my heart broken, and it's always been my way to reminisce the moment we've had. I couldn't ask for a better way for a heartbreak-warfare collision.  

See, smoking is always a choice. Life is all about choices. One does not simply say they didn't have a choice at the moment. Life and death matters are always have choices on its trail. It's up to every person to take their own path. Smoky choices is just one of many to be faced.

And there's nothing holy about hatred. Nothing holy about over-judgement and overloaded justice. 

[inezandanarie]

New warmth.

Met someone. In just less than 1 hour in Bandung Berisik, we clicked.

As simple as that. Having a warm chit-chat, and we just knew the other way around. Unfortunately, I, ignored my damn instinct, and never get to know his contact number.

I knew where he lived, where his university, and what's he majoring to.

All I didn't get was his contact. Stupid huh? A simple mind-conversation could blow you away. Maybe it was nothing to most people. How could it be special? I mean, we getting know each other in such a bizzare way, in-front of a metal concert stage. And damn, knowing a name is not enough. Nowadays, Google and Facebook doesn't help much.

We'll meet again someday, boy. If God allows :)

[inezandanarie]

Happiness.

Not awhile ago, my fellow friend @wahjoeni says,  

"ditanya apa goal hidup? jawabnya, jadi orang bahagia."

Itu membuat gue merenung.

Yes, I have the same goal as her. I'm still in a journey to find that simple concept. 

HAPPINESS.

As content as it would be, maybe it's a virtue that everyone's been looking for.

[inezandanarie]

I wish I could smile brightly to the ones I loved, without thinking that they could have gone. Someday.

[inezandanarie]

Luka.

Ada luka-luka yang selamanya tak tersembuhkan.

Kalau ibarat hati ini adalah seonggok daging, maka bisa dipastikan hati ini penuh ruang bolong. Potongan hati terserak, dan hinggap di khayalan jasad berbagai manusia penuh rupa.

Rupa yang pernah menggetarkan hati ini hingga guncang.

Potongan hati yang baru saja tercerabut ini, tentunya penuh luka. Dibalut lendir kerinduan, secuil asam cerita pedih akan angkara, serta urat harapan.

Hingga tulisan ini berhasil hinggap di halaman ini, adalah contoh nyata bahwa luka masih punya titah atas pikiran. Masih memerintahkan otak untuk menggapai, dengan segala cara. Menumpahkan resah, dalam sepotong tulisan gamang.

Pertanyaan yang timbul adalah, masih adakah luka lain yang tak terlihat?

Tak terjamah?

Kala potongan hati terbaru, luka hati yang terakhir berani merupa kembali, aku mempertanyakan. Siapa yang salah? Aku? Kamu? Kita? Apa semesta?

Sebulan sudah kesunyian itu berlalu.

Rupamu tak lagi hadir. Kicauanmu tak lagi terdengar. Kamu menghilang, ditelan bumi, potongan hatiku. Kamu membuat guratan luka itu membesar, memanjang, melebar dan mendalam. Apa tujuanmu?

Kucoba merekatkan lukaku. Memberinya penahan sakit, dengan perisai ketidakacuhan. Menopangnya dengan tandu datar, pertanda semua berjalan lurus, baik-baik saja. 

Tak kunjung mempan, kucoba merekatkan lukaku dengan lem super. Ekstrim memang, tapi itu semata karena sakitnya tak kunjung menghilang. Ketika lem itu kuoleskan, percikan listrik malah yang muncul.

Kamu tetap tak ada.

Usaha terakhirku merekatkan luka: hari bersejarahmu. Kurangkai cerita kita, kukemas dalam pita cantik, dan kuselipkan surat cinta padamu. Berharap luka hati ini akan mengering dan sembuh secara ajaib. 

Kudongengkan padamu, untaian momentum yang menyelubungi raga bahagia kita kala itu. Ku-visualisasikan rangkaian dongeng itu, berupa analogi yang setara dengan khayalan cerita cinta di khayangan. Kurekatkan dengan apik, sembari berdoa agar lukaku menutup.

Lagi-lagi, aku salah.

Lagi-lagi, aku menemui kehancuran. Menemui wujud luka itu lagi, dengan rupa yang semakin memanjang, melebar dan mendalam lebih dari sebelumnya.

Lagi-lagi, insting dan naluriku mengejek tanda menang.

Prinsip ini selalu berkata, "Lukaku hanya akan sembuh seiring dengan waktu". Secercah harapan muncul.

Namun hati kecil ini seraya berbisik, "Jangan jatuh cinta lagi". Trauma akan kekalutan pun kembali membayang.

Ah, duhai hati dan pikiran. Kapan kalian ingin berdamai?

Kapan kita pun berdamai dengan takdir; dan semesta?

Kapan?

[hujandisenja]

Mencintaimu membutuhkan keberanian; berani untuk tersakiti.

I adore you, mbak HujanDiSenja (via hujandisenja)

[inezandanarie]

thatonerule.com

[inezandanarie]

Sailed high!

On March 13th, I experienced something new.

I usually saw this, on the back of my mom's working place company profile. Since my mom had this sense in taking good angles for company profiles's photos (been years of experience, tho), she's always in charged.

She's always ask me if I wanna join in taking shoots; Unfortunately, I couldn't find the time. But last Tuesday, I was able to join them. The photographers are good friends of my mom and I, so it was fun ;)

Taking shoots in Priok Harbour was quite a tremendous experience, since I felt what every worker there feels. It's terrifying; every step was like, closer to your death, if you're not careful enough.

You see? The container crane. Stands about 20ft tall, I wonder if the operator above there ever felt scared, afraid, or feels like dying :)) YOU COULD BUNGEE JUMP FROM THERE!! *smirk*

Most workers are men, and yeah, there's no need to question their capabilities in handling this kind of work. Bravo to them, who stands so near to death, everyday.

And needless to say, thanks to this photo, everyone thinks I'm working in Pertamina... (someday, I will maybe, amin!!) :D :D

Glad to experienced this, coz not everyone could do it :)