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@infernoparadis
independent - multimuse blog for naruto & demon slayer . 18+/ns.fw ! canon / non-canon compliant . drama-free zone . current status: in limbo
warning! i reject canon and substitute my own .
carrd / sin blog: @reddawndistrict / art blog: @pudgiart
mobile friendly muse list under cut [ under construction/broken ] :
Hmmm... why did Itachi feel as if he had forgotten something important? Hmm... maybe he'd ask Kisame later. Perhaps his partner remembered what he had forgotten.
Kakuzu is standing there unamused, covered in slimy pumpkin. His gaze is boring into Deidara and Hidan's antics. Mostly on Hidan.
"I just wanted to make pumpkin pie!" Hidan was innocent! Not his fault Deidara weighed as much as a fast-food napkin and didn't let the fucking pumpkin go! And how was Hidan supposed to know Kakuzu was standing right there?
More Kakuzu and Kisame banter please those two are so funny!
[ thank you, anon. i'm glad you enjoy them lol ]
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⠶⢲⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⡾⠋⣠⠶⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⠋⠀⣰⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣤⠴⢶⠇⠀⠀⣿⠤⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢀⡴⠞⠉⠁⢀⣠⡬⢿⡶⠛⠛⢲⣄⣤⣿⣶⠿⠯⣄⡀⠀⠉⠛⢦⡀⠀⠀ ⠀⣠⠏⠀⠀⢀⡴⠋⠁⠀⡾⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠈⢷⡀⠀⠙⢦⡀⠀⠀⠙⣆⠀ ⢠⡏⠀⠀⢀⡞⠀⠀⠀⢸⠃⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠈⣧⠀⠀⠀⢻⡄⠀⠀⠸⡆ ⢸⠀⠀⠀⣼⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⠀⠀⠀⠀⢷⠀⠀⠀⣧ ⢸⡀⠀⠀⣏⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⡟ ⠈⣧⠀⠀⢻⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⠀⠀⠀⠀⡾⠀⠀⣰⠃ ⠀⠈⢷⡀⠈⢧⠀⠀⠀⢹⡀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⡟⠀⠀⠀⣸⠃⢀⡴⠃⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠙⠳⢬⣳⣄⡀⠀⣧⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⣸⠃⠀⣠⣞⣥⠖⠋⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠙⠲⠾⠷⠤⠤⠼⠧⣤⡤⠴⠧⠖⠛⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀Here is a large pumpkin for y'all to eat, nice and ripe.
"Pumpkin!" Deidara jumps on the large pumpkin and bites into it like the trash panda he is.
"Fuck you, blondie! I'mma use this to make pumpkin pie!" Hidan grabs Deidara and tries to yank him off, only to accidentally throw Deidara and the pumpkin through the air.
And as the pumpkin hits the ground, it exploded into a delicious, orange explosion of seeds and pumpkin guts all over the dirt--and Deidara.
"Nooo! The pumpkin! Blondie, you bastard! I was gonna make a year's supply of pie outta that!"
"Fuck you, Hidan! This is your fault, hn! You pushed me!" Deidara wipes pumpkin guts off his face. Ugh, it was in his hair, too!
There are three boxes. One large, one medium, and one small. The small one is humming and jerking in place occasionally. It's filled with wasps. The medium one is hissing. There's a subtle sound like something ruffling inside too. There is a goose inside. The large box bleats. There is a goat inside. The small box is outside of Sasori's door, the medium one is outside's Deidara's, and the large one is outside of Kisame's.
Enjoy.
Yeah... no one was falling for such an obvious trap. Sasori takes each box outside and incinerates them all while humming to himself a jaunty little tune. Afterall, wasn't often he had an excuse to burn things alive.
The dead goose and goat are salvaged and served buffet-style for dinner that night, with sides, courtesy of Hidan. He took great pleasure in turning that goat into stew.
what about a million. how about that? 💼¥¥¥¥¥
"I don't get out of bed for less than ten million ryo."
who can win an arm wrestling contest kakuzu or kisame? winner gets 10,000 yen
"Oh. I'm sure Mr. Kakuzu would easily win." Kisame knows he'd win, but he didn't want to seem boastful or injure Kakuzu's pride.
"Don't patronize me, Kisame." He wasn't going to embarrass himself over 10,000 yen.
Deidara doesn't know what's going on, but he appreciates all the manly bare chests. If only Kakuzu and Kisame were participating, too...
Naruto leaves a covered dish of tomatoes on Sasuke's windowsill. :))
It was... tomatoes? Sasuke was surprised Naruto didn't leave him ramen for once. Where did he buy this? Because he definitely didn't make it himself. Whatever, Sasuke isn't going to look a gift horse in the mouth. By nice to have a real meal after so long.
rock for meno https://rockgardens.net/cdn/shop/files/c5e6bed9-7424-47ed-8deb-b7faf4c91d06.jpg?v=1717779750
"Don't give him rocks. Do you know how expensive dinosaur dental care is?" Sasuke didn't know because he had yet to find a veterinarian who specialized in velociraptors. But once he did, he imagined it would be very, very expensive.
b ecause sasuke only has. 1 eye.
"Are you having a stroke? Do you require a doctor? If you do, I know one. I can call her for you."
sasuke is a n alien
"I am a... 'n alien'? What is an 'n alien'?"
Sasuke rolled his eyes, critically unaffected by Deidara's mudslinging. How appropriate. Like water off a hawk's back. Some Iwa rogue-nin wasn't going to upset him, of all people. "My kekkei genkai may be powerful but it is never a guarantee. Though it's not like I'd need more than that to fight the likes of you." His scorn was posh in just the worst way. "Besides, would it even matter? Who even still remembers who are you, Deidara? You're lost. Forgotten. Ask a random stranger who you are and you'll get a dull stare. The Uchiha will never die, but the Katsu......." A vicious strike.
Oh. This Uchiha bastard has done it now. He wanted to bring dead clans into this? So be it. "That’s rich coming from a crybaby bitch that spent his life sobbing over ghosts, hn. The Uchiha are a graveyard. And you?" He jabbed two fingers into Sasuke’s chest. "Still living in your brother’s shadow, still wearing his eyes around like hand-me-down jewellery." And he hated it. Itachi deserved better than to have his loser of a little brother cosplaying as him.
"You talk about people forgetting my clan and me, but the only reason anyone even remembers you is because of Itachi. Strip that name away and what are you?" He tilted his head mockingly. "Just another bitter little boy with stolen power and a superiority complex."
"And don’t compare my name to yours. People may forget Deidara eventually," His voice lowered. "But at least nobody hears ‘Katsu’ and thinks 'massacre' and 'demons'."
do any of your muses mansplain things lol?
[ sasori 100%. he thinks he's the smartest person in the world so he'll mansplain you just to show he's smarter than you.
also kakuzu. you could know something and he'll still explain it to you like you're an idiot. he'd explain surgery to a surgeon.
finally, itachi. but not on purpose. he just really likes sharing the things he knows and it may come off as mansplaining. ]
what do you feed your pet lizard?
"People who ask too many questions." And pork chops. Menō really likes pork chops.
"Can I pet him?" The dinosaur.
Sasuke takes a sip of his smoothie. "Sure. He doesn't bite." He says, obviously ignoring the very loud snarling by Menō standing behind him.
