PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
Xuebing Du

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@infernostained-blog
me looking in the mirror: what’s up you anxious bisexual fuck
⚠ + The Winslows!
bad powerpoint slides | accepting | @theycalledherwolf
Having a sibling is either “we ride together we die together” or “no officer I’ve never seen that person before in my life” there is no in between.
#same
joseph kavinsky // bad intentions
Mom
she understands, she does – that need to protect, that loyalty. and she knows he can handle himself, but that doesn’t mean she won’t worry. she almost worries more, because they’re so much alike. worries he’ll get into the exact same trouble she did at his age, even if he does have good intentions. but she can tell that the subject is closed for now, so she does her best to let it go. she won’t for a while, not really, but she’ll try.
❛ alright i believe you. jus’ – be careful, okay? ❜
deep breathe, she studies the bruising a moment before she speaks again.
❛ would some tylenol help? ❜
The words to refuse her offer die on his tongue, uncertainty causing him to hover. Jude is the eldest, the tough one. Even around his family who he loves more than himself, he’s guarded. He’s never been sure where this need to always be strong - never w e a k - came from. ( Most likely the same place his anger came from. His mother. ) But it’s only him and her in this kitchen and his eye does hurt. “ Yeah, alright. ” Jude shrugs as if it makes no difference to him, fingers already too calloused to ever be called gentle prodding at his injury. “ Thanks, Mom.”
“Your unending thirst will be your ultimate downfall.” frm alyssa
I’m so many levels of irony deep I’ve forgotten what humour is || Accepting!
“ I mean - probably? ” Should he be more upset being told that his desire to get laid will probably be his doom? Well, yes but Jude has never given much to mind to what he should do - always more interested in what he wants to do. Besides, he’s always been attracted to people who scream danger. At this point, it’s old news. “ Is this an Alyssa Winslow guaranteed fate told by your Pokemon cards or did Danny get a vision of me dying after sex? Because if he had to draw that our brother needs a raise. ”
by all accounts, all the winslows are legally dead – this being the case kelli and the kids often use fake names. kelli, daniel, alyssa, etc are all common enough names, but they’d rather err on the side of caution. leah brooks is a favorite of kel’s, but she uses others from time to time. she also has several well crafted police / fbi badges, and fake id’s and passports. the kids, do, too, but they don’t play agent as often as kel does. fbi agent is her favorite, but sometimes a simple cop, or something else entirely works better, it varies from case to case.
“Mothman is bullshit.” frm lucas omg
I’m so many levels of irony deep I’ve forgotten what humour is || Accepting!
“ Oh - my sweet baby brother. ” Teasing fingers reach across to poke the youngest Winslow in the face. “ If Mothman isn’t real, who sucked my dick behind Arby’s that one time? Huh? Huh? ” Each huh punctuated by another poke. Jude is joking - probably.
Dream Daddy: A Dad Dating Simulator Sentence Starters
“Betrayed by my own butt yet again.”
“Can you explain memes to me?”
“Contrary to popular belief, penguins are… birds.”
“Did you think I was gonna stab you just now?”
“Don’t cry. Don’t cry. I swear to god if you cry again.”
“Don’t write checks your dick can’t cash.”
“Here’s to bad decisions and relaxed moral values.”
“How’s the…… jeeeeeeeeeesus?”
“I am a happy little cheese monster.”
“I am spinning a web of lies that I fear will one day consume me.”
“I don’t want your stupid fruit leather.”
“I have to get a solid two to three hours of brooding in per day. Filling quotas.”
“It’s called ‘string cheese’ and not ‘chompy cheese’ for a reason.”
“I’ll probably end up standing uncomfortably in the corner with a plate of food and hope that nobody talks to me.”
“I’m so many levels of irony deep I’ve forgotten what humour is.”
“I’m suddenly struck with the overwhelming need to crawl back into bed.”
“Mothman is bullshit.”
“My ultimate sexual fantasy is sleeping in on a Saturday.”
“OH SHIT THAT’S A KNIFE.”
“See you in class… bitch.”
“Sharks are tight.”
“So, you ever kill a man?”
“Stop being so desperate to please your hot friend.”
“That… that is a good butt.”
“The key to being cool is acting like you don’t care about anything but actually care very deeply about everything to the point where it’s debilitating.”
“This ice cream cake is my new boyfriend.”
“This is where I come to masturbate.”
“Wait, I’m a wreck.”
“WHAT HAVE YOU DONE.”
“You can never be too careful. See that baby in that stroller over there? Government operative.”
“Your face… is… good.”
“Your unending thirst will be your ultimate downfall.”