“is love freedom? or only a longer leash?” Ma’am rip my guts out
@gojousfutureexmalewife + @kaigyokus / gojou.
what good has love ever done for him?
from the blessed day gojou was born, he was taught newton’s law of motion, mass, force and weight, momentum and the conservation of energy, how to hold a weapon before he learned how to talk, how to be fearless, how to be alone, but love?
he was never taught to be a loving god — simply a merciless one. would anybody have expected differently, growing up in that isolated, taciturn environment? the first expression of affection you receive is from your parents. a cliché notion. after all, for how long are you going to blame your parents for the way you turned out?
and yet, it makes an awful lot of sense, doesn’t it?
love is intangible and gojou has no interest in mythology. if only love could be quantified in numbers and equations, effectively measured out in quality and effect, then maybe, he wouldn’t roll his eyes at the movies. isn’t love a man-made belief designed to sell tasteless chocolate and overpriced stationary for capitalist consumption?
‘high treason!’ the romantics cry, ‘heretic!’ let them cry. after all, it is what romantics do if gojou’s learned anything from the movies.
it makes no sense at all. gojou doesn’t care to make sense of it either. let the poets spout their nonsense, let art reign — love doesn’t concern him. will never concern him. will never involve him. will never be made a fatal fool because of it.
but sometimes, god is wrong.
after all, nothing is impossible for gojou satoru.
for three years, life exploded in every color as gojou escalated to new heights, climbing higher heavens. for the first time, he wasn’t alone. love was late night convenience store trips in the middle of summer, sweating even though the air was cool. love was dark chocolate melting on the tip of his tongue — bitter and hard to swallow. love was waiting for the laundry to finish drying, standing shirtless by the flickering neon sign, pretending like every nerve wasn’t on fire.
it wasn’t much, but love is cruel. hadn’t the movies warned him? one day, love walked away from him. what a predictable plot! this director is terrible. who wrote this script? ah, how many times has gojou rewritten the scene in his head late at night?
an abandoned alleyway, cast in shadow. the weather is overcast. it is a miserable summer. people pass by, ignoring the body propped up and bleeding out, slow and agonizing.
love isn’t freedom. love isn’t a leash either.
love is a prison and even achilles had a weakness. love is an infinite cube with four walls designed to keep you inside and never let you go. love is bitter like dark chocolate. gojou enters from stage left.
gojou: love is the most twisted curse of all.
