To start off, for my pfp I clipped the image and added the effects n stuff, but the pfp mask itself was made by @/ribspaceinc, or GREGORIAH, on Pinterest!
For banner credits, I couldnât find who posted it :( when I clicked on the gif it just didnât load the account that posted it for some reason?? I also donât know what film itâs from but I think itâs from a studio ghibli film lmao
About Me!
Hello, Iâm Alex! I am transmasc and I go by he/him or they/them, I still havenât decided yet lmao. If you couldnât tell already, the theme for this profile is green! Assuming you donât know me and this is the first time youâve come across one of my accounts, all of my accounts have a theme! For example, my main blog @infinityzzzzz has a theme of red, and my vent blog ( @stardustedcrowboy ) has a theme of black.
Also, take note that I am a minor!! My DMs for anyone are CLOSED for personal and obvious reasons, and any attempt to make contact with me beyond asks and requests will result in you being blocked.
That being said, I do take requests and asks in my inbox! Iâm open to any fandom and ship, but itâd be preferable if I knew the source material first, so letting me know which anime/book/show/whatever the characters are from. It might take me some time to get to know the source material, but if you put in a request, itâs likely to be finished unless itâs a dark ship or offensive request.
I typically would write fluffy x reader-insert fanfiction, but I also donât mind branching off and writing stuff with actual plot, with and without the reader-insert. Iâd also like to use this account to ramble about my OCs and stuff, seeing as I have, like, fifty of them I need to keep track of LMAO. I also plan on posting my headcanons in picture format because Iâm being petty abt the fact that I canât access the carousel pin feature on Pinterest lmao
About Requesting!
Okay, moving on, I take requests like Iâve already said. Itâs preferable if you use my ask box, but I also have a request form here, which is used for my AO3 account (more on my socials in a separate section of this post!). There are limits clearly set out in the request form specifically catered to AO3, but Iâll set out some limits here as well catered to Tumblr.
How to structure your ask: a guideline, not requirement!
Please know that structuring your ask/request like the following isnât required, it really is just a guideline, and Iâm making this purely so itâs easier for me to understand what youâre requesting lol
[pairing/characters wanted +details (ex. mean!reader, transmasc!KatsukiâŠ)], [fandom theyâre from], [what you want them to do/basic plot/what the fic would be tagged with on AO3 to give me a better idea], [a social/account you want me to DM/tag to let you know your request is finished, or just type anonymous otherwise]
Again, only a guideline! Youâre free to ramble, add on, or just type the way youâd normally type requests lol
Limits!
Normally my word limit would be around 5k, and while that is preferred, I donât mind making the fic longer or shorter, so you guys have a loose idea of how long the fics are going to be.
I donât write proships, not even ifâletâs say, two characters are close as adults but one gets de-aged to a child. Thatâs still proshipping. I wonât be writing it.
A/N: I hate it here chat let me OUTTTT of the affection starvation cage. Also this is pretty much a rewrite of the first ever fic Iâve posted! Back to your regularly scheduled (except is not scheduled at all) Izuku content everyone!
Your skin crawled with the need for contact, but god, it felt weird to even hold hands with someone.
Even with just your boyfriend, it still felt⊠weird. Like bugs were crawling and getting underneath your skin every time someone touched you. You probably just werenât used to being touched at all, but the sensation wasnât pleasant.
In theory, being held and cuddled sounded nice. They sure as hell made it sound and look nice in fiction.
So why didnât that apply to you?
You craved connection, and while you had a partner to give it to you, you just⊠couldnât ask. Something inside of you stopped you last minute, doubted you, and prevented you from asking. It was frustrating.
Maybe it was the crawling feeling that stopped you. Maybe it was the unfamiliarity of it all that intimidated you. Maybe youâd never figure out what would make you second-guess asking for affection.
Maybe youâd forever be like this. Touch-starved. Starved of any kind of affection, really.
You turned your head towards your nightstand, shivering slightly under your bedding from the cool night air.
4:00AM. Thatâs what your alarm clock read.
It was Sunday, wasnât it? Damn it. That meant you had school tomorrow.
Fuck.
You hadnât even slept yet, at least not since yesterday. The need for connection has been bugging you since Friday afternoon, the craving not leaving you alone, only getting stronger.
You needed to do something about this.
Sighing, you sat up in your bed, grabbing your phone from your nightstand and sending Izuku a text.
You laid down in your bed for a moment more, contemplating on if you should actually go through with this, but you decided itâd be cruel to leave Izuku looking forward to something only to never end up following through.
So, coming to that conclusion, you finally stood up from your warm, comfortable blankets and shoved on a pair of fluffy bunny slippers to keep your feet warm, something Izuku got for you because he thought theyâd look cute on you. You remember him shoving the open box in your hands, his face an aggressive red as he stuttered over his words.
âThe adorable dumbass,â you thought to yourself, snickering softly at the memory.
ââ ââ đ€â â ââ
You trotted down the hallway, chest buzzing with anticipation as you came to a stop at Izukuâs dorm door.
Hesitating, you thought about the potential reactions heâd have at the sight of youâhappy, surprised, grateful, annoyed⊠you were especially scared at the thought of him being annoyed at you for visiting, even though he invited you over.
You really needed to get out of your own head.
Taking a deep breath and mentally preparing yourself, you gently knocked on his dorm door, waiting patiently for an answer.
As you waited, the cool air seeped into your skin, and you shivered again. The hallway smelled of dust.
Eventually, after hearing some scurrying from his room, he opened the door. His green hair was a mess, as it always is, and his freckled cheeks coloured with a pink hue, making his eyes stand out.
Izuku awkwardly smiled.
âHi, baby,â he greeted, and you smiled softly at the sound of his voice, âyou can come in!â
Izuku stepped out of the way, making room for you to walk in. You hesitated once more before stepping inside.
âThanks,â you whispered as Izuku closed the door behind you.
âNo need to thank me,â he dismissed, âso whatâs up?â
You shrugged.
âI donât know, honestly. I just⊠couldnât sleep,â you answered, gingerly sitting on Izukuâs bed. You shuddered slightly at the amount of All Might statues, posters, and figurines.
How the hell does he get a wink of sleep in here?
Izuku hummed, shifting to stand closer to where you were sitting.
âMe neither.â
âYour room is like a shrine,â you commented. Izukuâs face turned cherry red, flustered and embarrassed.
âS- sorry, does it⊠d- does it bother youâŠ?â He hesitantly asked, fidgeting with his hands. You sighed and shrugged again.
âKinda, yeah,â you admitted, âbut itâs not like Iâm gonna ask you to remove it. Not my choice.â
Izuku looked guilty over his room causing you discomfort, although the darkness made it difficult to see.
âDonât look so guilty,â you gently chastised, âitâs just⊠not my taste, is all.â
Okay, maybe you were sugarcoating a little bit, but whatever it takes to make Izuku stop looking at you like that.
You waited to see if Izuku would say anything more, but he didnât, so you just ended up scooting over to one side of his bed to make room for him.
âYou can sit down, yâknow,â you pointed out, âthis is your room, not mine. Besides, I wonât bite. Yet,â you teased.
Hesitantly, Izuku comes over to sit next to you, the mattress dipping beneath his weight, and it begins to rain gently outside.
Huh. You hadnât even noticed how cloudy it was.
You find Izukuâs hesitance odd.
âWhyâre you being so cautious?â You ask him, leaning your head on his shoulder.
Izuku stiffens, but his arm snakes around your waist anyway, instinctively bringing you closer.
âJust, uh, never had anyone else in my room, l- let alone a partnerâŠâ Izuku sheepishly admits.
You hum softly, not having a response.
You could stay like this for a little longer, just sitting here, with your head on his shoulder and his arm around your waist.
Slowly, Izuku relaxes, leaning into you. Silence stretches between you two like taffy, the rain from outside making a comforting background noise.
âYouâre not used to this, arenât you?â You ask, finally breaking the silence.
âNo,â he admits. You hum once more.
âDo you wanna lay down?â
âYeah.â
You laid down first, and Izuku awkwardly followed, lying close next to you but not actually touching you yet. You turn your head to face him, raising an eyebrow at him and smiling gently.
âAm I going to have to make all the first moves around here?â You teased, giggling as his cheeks turned a faint pink.
âN- no!â He insisted, âIâm just⊠just not used to it, is all. Never had a- a partner before, soâŠâ Izuku trailed off, glancing away from you.
âCalm down, Iâm just teasing,â you reassure him, shifting closer and wrapping an arm around his waist, gently pulling him towards you.
âU- umââ he stutters, face beet red, but you cut him off.
âCalm down, âm just trying to cuddle you,â your voice is slurring, sleep slowly pulling you under as you mumble.
âIâ umâ huh?â
You bury your face into the crook of his neck.
âShut up. âM not⊠used to asking for this kinda stuff. Jusâ let me have thisâŠâ
Eventually, Izuku ends up calming down and returns the affectionate gesture, pulling you into his chestâif awkwardlyâand letting you lay there, falling asleep against him.
Itâs been too long I need to get back in the scene
Also sorry but I really donât think I can make the part two to this post, and itâs solely because I really just donât care anymore. I need to be in a specific mood to write smut so that I donât feel awkward or get second hand embarrassment, and tbh with you guys Iâm not really in that mood all that often anymore
Who knows tho maybe my period will slap me across the face and itâll make a comeback idk
(Find part one here! Like the last one, this fic is inspired by this playlist!)
Synopsis: Bakugo recognises the way Y/n is struggling, which is odd, because usually he wouldnât be paying attention to anyone, at least not like that. Why is he suddenly paying attention now? It doesnât make sense.
Tags: gn!Reader, androgynous terms for Reader, use of Y/n, generally affection-starved reader, HEAVY angst, hurt/comfort, reader struggles with loneliness and touch-starvation, reader is implied to have OCD, readerâs quirk isnât explicitly stated
Pairing/s: Katsuki/Reader
A/N: Iâm sorry about how heavy this is compared to the first part. I wasnât feeling good.
You sat in your dorm bathroom and stared at your messages, back propped up by tiled walls and legs crossed. It reeked of antiseptic and blood.
2AM.
Two in the morning. You hadnât slept yet, only recently finishing the homework you had been given (and the homework you had set for yourself to stay ahead of the class). The night before your physical exam, which is your first exam. The anxiety kept you awake.
You were kind of dreading sleep, honestly.
It was that same dream every night, ever since your friend group had just silently drifted away from you.
The faceless kids bullying and laughing at you on the bus, then almost seamlessly transitioning to the train station, you landing on the gravel as you tripped and fell or jumped off the ledge, the train coming at full speed towards where you were standing, on the gravel, on the tracks.
It was always so weirdly vivid, the dream. Whenever the dream started, it felt like a cavernous pit had opened up inside of your stomach, your heart sinking to the bottom of it as the same sequence played outâa sequence you knew by heart at this point.
You kept staring at the messages you hadnât responded to yet.
âWell, now Iâve responded,â you supposed.
You donât know why you responded like that. You couldâve left a similar cryptic message for anyone else. For someone that was nicer, kinder. For someone that would probably take this kind of situation better than Bakugo would.
For your old friends.
You left a single note on your bed, dedicated to the whole class. But you didnât have to send cryptic messages to Bakugo of all people. That just looked like you wanted attention.
You couldâve just done it without letting anybody know, letting them find your body the next day or the day after. At least you wouldnât have to face the guilt of watching the poor soulâs face crumple at the sight.
You took a deep breath, put the phone down on the tiled floor, and picked up the bottle of antidepressants with trembling fingers. The pills were cold in your hands, stained with the blood from your arms.
Well. Now or nothing, right?
âŻâŻâŻâŻâŻ ââ .âŠ
Katsuki didnât know what he was expecting after waking up at two in the morning, but he certainly wasnât expecting two ominous texts from you, of all people.
You two hadnât talked much, and admittedly, Katsuki didnât like the way he cared so much about you, even though you barely knew each other. The most he knew about you was your name, your hero name, and the few tidbits heâd managed to pull from Izuku. Basic stuff, like your favourite music genre or your birthday when it had come up in passing conversation.
Katsuki thought you were the prettiest person heâd ever seen, which was pretty out-of-character for him to even be thinking about. He thought heâd always have his eyes on what would eventually be his prizeâbecoming the number one hero. But you just effortlessly pull him away from that goal without even talking to him.
Itâs a strange phenomenon.
With slight anxiety that he didnât want to acknowledge, Katsuki sat up and picked up his phone, taking a proper look at the messages.
ââWonât be here long enoughâ? What the fuck does that mean?â He asked himself in the silence of his dorm, swallowing down his uncharacteristic fear. He barely even knew you, what was the point in worrying?
Why did you even send him this message in the first place?
Something nagged at him, tugged at the bottom of his gut. âCheck on them,â it said, and he almost didnât listen.
Regardless of his skepticism and unwillingness, he picked himself up from his bed out of anxiety, shoving on a pair of slippers because it was fucking cold outside.
So much for having a consciousness with his best interests at heart.
âŻâŻâŻâŻâŻ ââ .âŠ
You jumped in your spot on the bathroom floor when you heard heavy pounding on the door, pill bottle flying out of your hands and pills scattering everywhere, the lid nowhere to be seen.
The sound was loud enough to gain Bakugoâs attention.
âY/n?! What the fuck is with the message you sent me??â He asked. He sounded a lot angrier than you had imagined.
Hell, you hadnât expected him to wake up at all.
You didnât say anything, shaking like a leaf from the corner of your bathroom. He wouldnât hear you anywayâboth of the doors were closed, and the bathroom door was locked.
âAnswer me, Y/n!â The banging got louder.
You heard the door finally open, unbearably loud. Youâre surprised nobody had come out of their dorm to check on you and Bakugo yet.
You heard the sounds of your room being searched, practically tipped upside down based on all the noise, as Bakugo searched for you, as if you were small enough to hide in the most impossible nook or crannies.
Then, finally, he tried to open the bathroom door, discovering it was locked as it refused to budge. He hit his fist against the wood.
âOpen the door!â Bakugo yelled. âI know youâre in there, Y/n! Open the fucking door,â his voice was slightly panicked as he kept knocking, or rather pounding.
âDonât make me break this goddamn door down!â
It was that line that made you cave. You didnât want to run the risk of having Aizawa find out about your attempt like this, and you also didnât want to make your parents pay for the damages to your bathroom door.
So, you shakily stood up from your spot, and reached out to unlock the door, having to lean against the wall to keep your knees from buckling underneath yourself and send you tumbling to the floor.
Hearing the door unlock, Bakugo took it as a sign to try to open the door again, and lo and behold, the door opened.
He swung it open with force, causing it to bang against one of the bathroom walls, but he wasnât worried about the noise he was making; Bakugo was worried about the scene in front of him.
Pill bottle on the floor, antidepressants scattered everywhere, and to his left: you, leaning against the wall, shaking like a leaf, knees close to buckling, and arms covered in blood-stained bandages.
âY/n,â Bakugo whispered, uncharacteristically careful and concerned, âwhat did you try to do?â
He looked at you, an unreadable expression on his face. A mix of distress, fear, discomfort, and anger on his face. Your heart was in your throat, and the only thing that came out of your mouth was a sob from the deepest parts of your lungs.
âI- Iâm⊠Iâm so- so sorry,â you sobbed, stumbling before falling. Bakugo caught you in his arms as you fell, your body limp like dead weight. You sure as hell felt like dead weight right now, with the way you were letting everybody down.
âDonât apologise,â he tried to comfort, âletâs⊠calm down for a sec,â he attempted to swallow down the shakiness of his voice.
It was strange, hearing Bakugo be this kind to⊠anyone, really. He was also being softer than usual, which also threw you for a loop.
Despite your slight shock, your only response was to hold on tighter and sob harder, melting into the hug you desperately needed.
Bakugo carefully lowered you both down onto the floor, holding you tight in his arms and letting you bury your face in his chest. His breathing was steady, but his heart was beating rapidly. It wouldâve been concerning if you werenât having a breakdown right now.
He held you as you shook and sobbed, keeping his own breathing steady and silently encouraging you to follow his breathing by gently running his fingers down your spine. The action seemed so out of character for him, but you appreciated any support you could get.
You donât know how long you two were sat there on your bathroom floor. You sobbed for a while, that you do know. By the time your sobbing quieted to small hiccups, sniffles, and the occasional whimper, your head and eyes hurt, said eyes puffy and red with tears. Bakugoâs shoulder was half-soaked with your tears.
âS- sorry for⊠getting your shirt wet,â you sounded so pathetic, voice smaller and slightly more gravelly with your misery, sniffling. Bakugo didnât seem to mind though, even as you slowly raised your head up.
âItâs fine,â he reassured, âdonât worry about it.â
There was a short, deafening silence, and Bakugoâs breathing seemed to stop.
ââŠyou didnât actually⊠take anything, did you? Like those pills?â
He nodded to the pills still scattered around the floor. You shook your head.
âNo, but⊠I- I was going to,â you admitted, now with great shame, âyou- you just, kinda, got to me in time, I guessâŠâ
Bakugo shakily exhaled, and his steady breathing continued.
âGood,â he mumbled, âI better not see you try to do something like that again, dumbass,â he tried to joke, but it just made you feel guilty.
âSorryâŠâ
âDonât be,â he immediately responded, âI said that too early. That was my fault,â he admitted.
âLetâs just⊠stay here for a bit. Donât worry about anything right now,â Bakugo suggested. You felt your eyes closing, getting heavier as time passed.
A/N: PLEASEEE ignore the grammar mistake I made in the messages. Itâs annoying me too but Iâm too lazy to go back and fix it đđ also this was so difficult to write, and I think thatâs because I find it difficult to write Katsukiâs character, especially when heâs trying to be empatheticđđ we were (and still are) heavy on the angst down here people, just let me get my teenage drama/angst out and itâll be back to fluff đ«Ąđ«Ą
This is for part two of my Left Out fanfic, I want yall to pick which one you want to be involved with! Personally Iâm hoping itâs Izuku, but I might be biased⊠đ
You guys have three days to choose before I start writing part two! Also Iâm SO sorry for procrastinating on making this poll, I got anxious đđ
Thinking about those quirkless aus where quirkless kids have a really low life expectancy. Be it from hate crimes or suicide they always die really young.
Thinking about Izuku getting into the hero course quirkless and having to talk with Nezu about how hero work will be especially dangerous for him without a quirk.
Thinking about an Izuku who is constantly aware that his life expectancy is lower then that of a dogs.
Thinking about an Izuku who has to looks his teachers in the eyes and tell them that they're already considered lucky if they make it past 20.
Thinking about an Izuku who adds dog tags in the first version of his costume so his body can be identified without forcing his mother to see him.
Thinking about an Izuku who is far more willing to sacrifice himself for his friends because he's already lived past his life expectancy.
This is for part two of my Left Out fanfic, I want yall to pick which one you want to be involved with! Personally Iâm hoping itâs Izuku, but I might be biased⊠đ
You guys have three days to choose before I start writing part two! Also Iâm SO sorry for procrastinating on making this poll, I got anxious đđ
Anyway happy pride month everyone!! Sorry Iâve been gone for so long, exams have been kicking my ass lmao, that and I have a new blog which features just more personal, vent-y kinda posts, and I also yap on there lol
Also Iâve changed my name too, sorry đ
That being said, tho, I should have some free time before my physics exam, and yâknow what that meanssss đđđ FANFICS!!! Iâll be working on them after my math exam tomorrow^^
Hereâs the blog I was talking about -> @stardustedcrowboy
Iâve been a lot more active on that account, so if you wanna see more of me, check it out!
Inspo: this playlist I made (+ Damocles by Sleep Token)
Synopsis: their current friends donât seem to want Y/n around. Why is that? They canât figure out why either. They donât realise just how much of their life and motivations revolves around their friends until everything crashes down around them.
Tags: gn!Reader, androgynous terms for Reader, use of Y/n, generally affection-starved reader, angst, angst no comfort, reader struggles with loneliness and touch-starvation, reader is implied to have OCD, readerâs quirk isnât explicitly stated
A/N: the angst post I was talking about some week or two ago!!! I hate it here đđ also I decided to highlight important warnings by italicising them and putting them in green! Does it look okay, and did you notice it? Also also, the self-harm isnât as prominent as I made it sound because itâs a different type of self-harm this time, but it is still an explicit depiction of it!
You didnât even like these people.
You were sat by yourself next to the support course building on a Friday during lunch, opting to wait for your friends to come by; Uraraka, Midoriya, Iida, Todoroki, Asui, and occasionally Shinso and Jirou would sit with you too.
But they hadnât been sitting with you as of recent. Granted, it was your third yearâyou guys had busy lives, and to be honest, you thought they were spending their time training or studying more.
Turns out that wasnât the case, and that they had moved where they sat without telling you. They left you specifically out of the picture, and when you asked someone from your class about it, say Kaminari, you noticed that he knew right away where they sat and, after telling you they moved to sit in the cafeteria, he asked why you didnât know when everyone else did.
It didnât make sense, why theyâd move to the cafeteria.
Them and you initially sat in the cafeteria, but after a couple weeks, Iida, Todoroki, and Asui found that they didnât like sitting in the cafeteria because of how loud and disorganised it always was. So, you guys had opted to sit outside during the warmer months, and to a quieter place inside during the colder months.
That was until now, at least.
A couple of support course kids had seen you sitting by yourself and invited you to come walk with them, and you, being bored and feeling lonely after what you had realised, decided that you didnât have much to lose anyway and bit the bullet.
And so, that prologue brings you to now, walking around with Hatsume and some other random support course kids that you could barely remember the names of.
Now, Hatsume wasnât relatively popular among your group. Midoriya and Uraraka didnât really care about Hatsumeâs status in general because they didnât mind her, but Iida, Todoroki, and Asui didnât like Hatsume all that well because of her chaotic, loud, and peace-less nature.
You had your own vendetta against Hatsumeâshe often sprung costume changes on you with short notice, which annoyed the fuck out of you despite how well-intentioned she may beâyet here you were, hanging out with her and her friends anyway.
So no, you didnât like these people.
As you walked, you guys werenât really talking. It was mostly Hatsume and one of the randoms filling the silence with rambling about whatever came to their mind. You had better things to do than this.
Maybe training could get your mind off of the crippling loneliness.
âHey,â you interrupted their talking, âsorry to cut this short, but I think Iâm gonna go train a little. Iâll see you guys around,â you tried to be as polite as possible with your dismissal, then proceeded to turn your ass around and jog to just any training ground that would work, tie flailing around in the wind.
ÖŽÖ¶Öž. ..đ àŁȘ ÖŽÖ¶ÖžđżàŒàŒàż
Improving your physical strength by training did wonders for your body, sure, but did it really do anything to take your mind off of why your friends would just ditch you like that?
Admittedly, no.
The intrusive thoughts gnawed at you; something about isolating yourself and never talking to anyone ever again, self-harm, cutting people off, jumping off the buildingâŠ
Yâknow, just your average Friday!
A deeper feeling ate away at you though, a deeper desire⊠a want to make them feel the way you felt. A want to make them feel as lonely and isolated as you did. A want for revenge.
You couldnât do it, you wouldnât. It just⊠wasnât in your nature to actually hurt someone, despite always feeling an urge to hurt someone. Youâd never do it, you knew you wouldnât, but the thought is always there in the back of your head.
âHurt them. Make them feel what you felt. Make them regret leaving you like this. You wonât be treated like a fucking doormat.â
But youâd never do it. You never could. Because at the end of the day, you relied on being a people-pleaser to make yourself likeable.
You came to a stop as you snapped back to reality, the shrill of the first bell bringing you back down to earth. Time to start getting to class.
You stared at the pillar youâd accidentally left in shambles, and you could probably make a metaphor about this thing being your heart or whatever, but you canât dwell on that for much longer.
Time to get back to class.
ÖŽÖ¶Öž. ..đ àŁȘ ÖŽÖ¶ÖžđżàŒàŒàż
Something was going wrong here, but you couldnât tell what.
Itâs been a couple weeks since your friends had stopped sitting with you, and you donât know what happened, but your grades just⊠dropped.
Dramatically, too.
20%? 15%??
What the hell were you doing wrong?!
You hadnât changed anything about your routine. You hadnât changed your studying habits. Sure, you scrolled more in your free time because all of your hobbies felt too draining, and itâs not like you had friends to hang out with, but that shouldnât be affecting your grades so much.
It shouldnât be burning you out so much.
You went from As and Bs, to⊠fails. All within a few weeks.
How fucking pathetic is that?
God, your parents were going to be so mad.
And who were you going to vent to when your dad inevitably threatens you with pulling you out of the hero course? The only thing you currently enjoy in your life?? The only thing you feel like you have control over???
Nobody.
You had nobody to talk to. Nothing to cling to. Nobody to treat as your anchor despite being everyone elseâs anchor.
They always thought of you as the reliable one. The loyal one. The one that can keep secrets. The one thatâs okay to tutor and teach others.
What happened to that? What happened to you?
ÖŽÖ¶Öž. ..đ àŁȘ ÖŽÖ¶ÖžđżàŒàŒàż
Monday. Again.
Time to drag your ass out of bed.
Time to stick to a different, unfamiliar routine. One that prioritised going to class earlier and studying later into the night. One that prioritised grades and output rather than input. One that skipped meals and sleep to fit more study time.
5:00AM.
Your parents were blowing your phone up again to make sure you were awake. All you did was send them a simple âmorningâ message before turning your phone off again and getting up.
Your phone still vibrated from your nightstand, more messages from them. You ignored it.
You stretched your back and legs, sun not even out yet, stars still coating the sky. Youâd have admired the way they looked if it werenât for your list of tasks youâve made for yourself. Your body felt heavy, like you were dragging it through water, and your eyes threatened to close again.
Whatever. You made your bed, so you laid in it.
5:30AM.
You were dressed, finally, and went through the motions that should start to feel familiar. Brushing your teeth without eating breakfast because you didnât have time for it, packing your bag with books and no food or snacks (you typically pack food since the cafeteria doesnât have anything you deemed âsafeâ to eat), keeping your phone in your pocket with some mints, shoving on your shoes and leaving your dorm.
You should probably make yourself a coffee, but you just brushed your teethâŠ
Fucking whatever. You brush them like three times a day, youâll just shove a mint in your mouth after your coffee and leave.
5:35AM.
Youâre in the common room kitchen, making a coffee for yourself, waiting for the machine to heat up as you pile what you like with your coffee in your chosen mug.
When the coffee machine finished heating up, you placed your mug under the dispensers, clicked a button, and watched the coffee pour down into the ceramic. The kitchen quickly started smelling like coffee, the dim yellow light making it feel cozy.
It wouldâve been cozy, if it werenât for your mental state.
The morning seemed to drag on slower than usual.
Your coffee was still slightly bitter, and it mixed with the taste of the toothpaste, making it taste like shit, but youâd still drink it, because you needed the pick-up if you were to survive today.
6:00AM.
You were standing inside of UAâs library (which really shouldâve been closed but you maybe perhaps stole and copied Aizawaâs keycard), printing off some practice questions for your upcoming exams, because of your grades were dropping this dramatically, you needed to work harder.
Whoever was the librarian hereâsince you had never seen themâwas going to be so mad with you sneaking in before school even started, before the teachers were even here, all because you wanted to work yourself into the ground.
When the questions finished printing, you took the stapler from the librarianâs desk and stapled the pages together that corresponded with the right subject (math questions get stapled together, English questions get stapled, chemistry questions get stapled, so on and so forth), until you had more than six booklets.
One booklet for English, one for math, one for chemistry, one for hero history, one for ethics, one for quirk analysis, and finally, one for heroics.
Your parents had stopped texting you by now.
6:30AM.
You were still studying in the library, looking at those questions you had just printed out and trying to answer them from memory, correcting any answers you got wrong when you finished the booklet and looked through the proper answers on some website where you pirated these from.
You were starting to get a few messages from some of your classmates, asking where you were and why you werenât in the dormitories, considering this is when youâd typically be making a coffee while already dressed for school, sans shoes.
Speaking of coffee, you should go get one from the cafeteria while itâs still mostly emptyâŠ
Two people surprised you when you saw the messages, though: Midoriya and Bakugo.
You somewhat understood Midoriyaâs reason: he was your friend, but he worried about everyone. He was just concerned like that. You didnât think he wanted to start hanging around you againâhe had Iida, Uraraka, Asui, and the others to do that.
Bakugo was more of an enigma. He wasnât known for really caring for anyone, at least not so outwardly, so maybe someone asked him to ask for themâŠ? But who would do that? Sure, not everyone in Class 1-A has your number, but whoâd ask Bakugo to do it?
âŠwhatever. Youâd figure it out later.
ÖŽÖ¶Öž. ..đ àŁȘ ÖŽÖ¶ÖžđżàŒàŒàż
Cut to Friday, again.
Your new routineâs exhausted you.
Youâve gotten somewhat used to it, sure, but every morning you wake up tired and every evening you go to sleep feeling even worse than when you woke up. Sleep feels like itâs doing nothing, and your body in general just feels⊠worse.
Youâve gotten skinner, which made you look better, you supposed.
But youâve been falling behind againâthis time socially, and in training. Your new study habits didnât even help you in yesterdayâs test, so youâre sure youâve failed that.
You kind of forgot about the physical exam to test everybodyâs strength and potential as a hero in your frenzy to improve, so you⊠havenât been training. And the physical exam is in a week!
You might as well just flunk it already.
Youâve noticed some of your classmates giving you weird looks during class and lunch. Even your teachers have started to look at you like they do.
You canât tell if theyâre disgusted or not.
Whatever. Just make it until exams.
Just keep going through the motions.
Last until exams.
You can do that.
A/N: let me know if yall want a part two! It wonât be coming anytime soon tho, not with my exams coming up at least lol. I was thinking of making a version of this where y/n gets comforted by Izuku about their thoughts but Iâm not sure đ my grades have been dropping dramatically (literally exactly like in this post) and my exams are in two weeks, so I wonât be online for a while, in which I wonât have time to draft and post and indulge in hobbies, so :/
poorly disguised vent posts my beloved <3 and this is one of my longest fics Iâve posted in here, I think!
Synopsis: Shitty music played from shitty speakers as Y/n navigated the crowd, looking for his friends. But, instead of getting what he was looking for, he bumps into a certain blond instead and proceeds to make a series of⊠interesting decisions.
Warnings: explicit smut, mentions of substance use, alcohol, sex humour
Pairings: Katsuki/Reader, implied KamiJirou
Tags: transmasc reader, masculine terms for reader, alternative!Reader, Third-year reader, Third-year Class 1-A, reader doesnât drink but they do use weed lol, slight plot, blowjobs, praise, sexual jokes, switch!Katsuki, switch!Reader, dominant!Reader, neck kissing, hickeys, biting, deepthroating, virgin!Katsuki, use of âbaby boyâ, face-fucking
A/N: first time writing for Bakugo! Howâd I do? Also, itâs colour coded when other characters talk because there are some exchanges where I donât indicate whoâs talking, sorry if that bothers you lmao. This is also most certainly NOT the angst post I was talking about several posts ago LMFAO
The music was loud and, in your personal opinion, shit. Mainstream hip-hop and pop blasted from speakers that spanned across multiple rooms of some general course guyâs mansion, and while you had nothing against those genres, whoever was in charge of the Spotify queue decided to choose the worst songs of the century.
Your boots thumped against scratched vinyl floorboards as the crowd jumped to the music, creating too much noise and definitely applying enough pressure to bring the place down. To your left, something glass fell and shattered to pieces, and to your right, couples were grinding on each other to the beat of the music as if they couldnât go anywhere else.
This was, quite possibly, your personal hell.
Every third-year at UA had gotten an invite from one of the rich general course guys, something along the lines of âyo, weâre having an end-of-school party, wanna come?â alongside the address of the mansion. Initially, you werenât planning on going and just winding down by yourself, but then your friends decided to go and, because you were one of two people in your friend group who didnât drink, you ended up being the designated driver.
Weaving through drunk party goers, you mourned the decision to stay home and get high on weed by yourself instead of going to this stupid party, but no going back now, you guessed. You were the designated driver for your friends anyway, and you couldnât just leave them here.
You searched for the signature head of purple hairâsince surely Jirou would be hanging around the othersâand yearned for the plush of your car seats so you could go the fuck home, but fate had a funny way of playing games, and just when you saw them, this tall, blond fucking douchebag of a guy stepped in front of you, in which you bumped into him and was knocked back slightly.
Youâd describe him as tall, but he was actually around the same height as youâhe was just slightly taller. He turned to you, and as ruby eyes met yours, you recognised who was in front of you.
Katsuki Bakugo, who you couldnât decide if he was the hottest guy here, or the worst person youâve ever met. Neither of you talk much, so your first and only impression of him was that he was arrogant, entitled, full of himself, and thinks everyone owes him something for simply existing.
But god, did his looks do him justice. Unfortunately, though, his appearance wouldnât save him this time.
âOi. Watch where youâre goinâ,â Bakugo grumbled, glaring at you.
To his credit, heâd toned down over the years. If you had bumped into him during the early days of your first year, you wouldâve been a smear on the pavement, so obviously there had been improvementâespecially after the war. Youâd come to realise that he was probably softer than he initially appeared, but you didnât care about that right now. You just wanted to go home.
Regardless of your thoughts about him, you sighed in response to his annoyance.
âListen, man, Iâm just lookinâ for Jirou and our other friends so that we can get outta here, âkay? I donât have time for this shit.â
Bakugo scoffed as you briskly manoeuvred your way past him, but thankfully he didnât reach out for you, as much as he might have wanted to.
You didnât like that Bakugo saw you in one of the alternative outfits you have. Itâs not because you had anything against him, you just expressed yourself in the way you dress, and as much as you love dressing like this, you always feel somewhat vulnerable when dressing like this around people who never really seemed to like you in the first place.
Maybe you were just being insecure.
But with the way Bakugo stared at you while you were walking away, you couldnât tell if you had reason to be insecure or not.
Eventually, on the first floor and hovering on the edges of a dancing crowd, you found Jirou, talking to Kaminari.
âYo, Jirou!â You called out, jogging through the crowd and coming to a stop next to her.
You opened your mouth to say something, but then Kaminari intercepted.
âY/n, hi! You look awesome, dude!â
âThanks,â you brushed him off, âwhereâre the others? I wanna get out of here and go home. Itâs been a fuckinâ drag, just floating around and not actually being able to enjoy myself,â you lightly complained.
âWell maybe, if you tried to involve yourself, you would be enjoying yourself,â Jirou teased.
You deadpanned.
âOkay. You two go join the dancing crowd then.â
Jirou snorted, âSure, but to answer your question, I think the others are upstairs playing Seven Minutes in Heaven,â she then took Kaminari by the wrist and dragged him onto the dance floor with her.
You rolled your eyes at both them and the fact that your other friends were playing Seven Minutes in Heaven, of all things, but whatever. All you had to do was look for them in the circle, right?
â§Ëê°đąê±àŒâ§â
You were dragged into a game or two.
âOne more game!â Ashido had promised, looking up at you with a pout and pleading eyes, âjust one more and then weâll leave, okay?!â
At the time, you groaned, but now you were sat in the circle, and in the middle of it a bottle waiting to be spun.
You recognised some people hereâAshido, Uraraka, and a couple of your other friends, of course, but you were taken by surprise by Midoriya, Bakugo, Shinso, and Tokoyami being there as well, but thereâs a first for everything, you supposed. Who were you to judge when you were also here? Albeit by force. The other people in the circle were a bunch of randos from the general, support, and business courses
A random couple from presumably the general course stumbled out of the closet they were using for the game, the girlâs neck covered in bright red hickeys. You looked away as they ventured off around the corner, probably looking for an empty room for god knows what. You donât wanna know, actually!
Apparently, it was Bakugoâs turn, so he leaned over to the middle of the circle and spun the bottle. Slowly, painstakingly, it decelerated to a stop, the neck of the bottle facing you.
Everyone in the circle oooh-ed, much to your embarrassment, and Ashido started giggling to your right. You audibly groaned and elbowed her, which she obviously didnât feel because her giggling escalated into laughing. Well, she was definitely⊠tipsy. Great.
You donât think she was even meant to be drinking at eighteen anyway, but whatever. Youâd deal with that later.
Weirdly enough, Bakugo didnât have a reaction to having you chosen, but you guessed it was better to be stuck with him than some random person from the circle, and vice versa on his part, considering you both were from the same class.
â§Ëê°đąê±àŒâ§â
The closet was dark as the two of you walked in, the click of the door locking as it closed deafening in the tense silence.
âI donât wanna be here,â you complained to yourself, taking out your phone so that you guys had at least some light.
âYou made that known the first time,â Katsuki muttered, staring at you as you turned on your phoneâs flashlight. You glanced up at him
âStop lookinâ at me like that.â
âLike what?â
âLike you want me to suck you off,â you deadpanned, your words blunt, âIâm not making you cum in seven minutes.â
Bakugo choked on his spit. He hasnât talked to you much, but he wasnât expecting you to be this bluntâor even dress like you do, for that matter.
âYou alright??â You asked, slightly amused as you raised an eyebrow.
He cleared his throat, trying to think clearly after you put that image in his head.
âYeah,â he poorly lied, âjust wasnât expecting you to be so blunt with it.â
You scoffed, âyouâre just as blunt, you canât say shit.â
âNo shit,â he shot back, âI just didnât think youâd be so blunt. Pinky and the others sugarcoat what they say, so I thought you were the same.â
âFuck that, I hate beating around the bush. Itâs a waste of time.â
âFair enough,â Bakugo murmurs, looking away.
An awkward silence thick with tension settled over the two of you again, your phone flashlight the only thing accompanying you two. The closet was cramped, and because of that, you and Bakugo were practically smushed together, almost chest-to-chest despite you trying to keep your distance.
Bakugo seemed to have noticed something about your face, because he kept glancing back at you.
âWhat?â
âWhat.â
âYou keep glancing at me. Whaddya want?â
He scoffed, âI wasnât fuckinâ looking at ya. Youâre seeinâ things,â Bakugo grumbles.
âSure,â you said skeptically, rolling your eyes.
Eventually, Bakugo mumbles something.
ââŠyour eyeliner looks good.â
You snorted in amusement.
âWeâre stuck in a closet together, and your attempt at flirting is complimenting my eyeliner?â You asked incredulously, an entertained smirk on your face.
âJust say you want a blowjob. Might hafta make me give it to ya, though,â you teased, grinning.
Bakugo scoffed, although he also seemed amused.
âTch. In your dreams, nerd.â
âYeah, sure,â you joked, âbut timeâs runninâ out.â
You tried to say moreâto egg him on, piss him off, see what you can get away withâbut he grabbed your face and, without warning, kissed you.
âShut up, dumbass,â he murmured into the kiss, your lips slotting together, âmakinâ me all worked up, lookinâ like that, and for what?â
You grinned, pushing back against the kiss and fighting for dominance.
âJust pushing the boundaries,â you confessed, slipping your phone in your pocket with the flashlight still visible.
âOh yeah? Wonât be doinâ that any time soon after this,â Bakugo âthreatenedâ, moving his lips down to your neck. Your breath stuttered.
âO- oh, no, whatever shall I do?â You taunted, ignoring the way you tripped over your words slightly. Bakugo devilishly grinned into your neck, and for some reason, it pissed you off that he was getting the chance to be more dominant.
Trying to get some leverage back, you ground your hips against his, getting a feel of his hard on. Bakugo groaned into your neck, and while the vibrations went right down to your crotch, you ignored it and bit down onto his neck, hard. He gasped and bucked, which wasnât the reaction you were expectingâyou werenât expecting Bakugo to be this easyâbut it was a welcome surprise.
âOh? Got you now,â you taunted again, switching your places. Now, Bakugo was the one pressed against the door, and you were on top.
âFuck you,â he growled, âyouâre cheatinâ.â
âCheating?â You ground against his hard-on again, âIâm playing the same game you are.â
Bakugo groaned again, and your hands started to make their way down as his arms locked around your waist, although they wouldnât be staying there for long.
Your lips found Bakugoâs neck, to which he eventually pulled his face out of your own neck to give you room. When your hands found his dickâhard and somewhat heavy through the fabric of his jeansâhe threw his head back.
âF- fuck!â
âCan I suck you off? We donât have much time, so this needs to be quick,â you asked, already crouching down.
âYeah, get on your knees, baby,â he says, voice cracking. Bakugo calling you âbabyâ did something to you, apparently, because you could feel the heat in your core rising.
You did just as Bakugo said, getting on your knees and undoing his jeans. Your hands fumbled with the fabric for a second before you dug his cock out from his boxers, the flesh hot and heavy in your palm, precum beading at the tip.
You could feel the drool pooling in your mouth, anticipation tugging at your nerves.
Looking up at Bakugo through your lashes, you licked from base to tip, humming at the taste and making sure he felt the vibration. Based on the way he moaned and bucked his hips against your tongue, youâre sure you did a good job.
You wrapped your lips around the tip, sucking on it and swirling your tongue against the slit before taking a little more in your mouth, slowly bobbing up and down and going further down inch by inch.
âA- ah, shit!â Bakugo moaned, one of his hands tangled in your hair and his hips bucking into your mouth, forcing you to take more.
Hollowing out your cheeks, you created a tighter hole for him with your mouth and took more of his dick in your mouth, the tip hitting the back of your throat and making you gag.
Only an inch more. You could make it.
So, you relaxed your throat as best as you could and took it the rest of the way, deepthroating his cock.
You stayed still for a moment, getting used to the feeling, before you started bobbing your head again, occasionally having to take your mouth off to, yâknow, breathe.
The sounds Bakugo was making from above you was music to your ears, moans spilling from his mouth and the occasional whimper, a pretty pink dusting his cheeks and ears.
The sounds escalated as he got closer to the edge, and the closer he got, the more he forced your head down on his cock until he was practically face-fucking you. Gagging noises filled the small closet as he panted and moaned above you.
âF- fuck, baby, keep goinâ,â he moans, âdoing so good for me⊠gonna- gonna cum down your throat baby boyââ
His words are cut off by a higher pitched moan that Bakugo does his best to stop coming out, but the attempt is in vain as he shoots his load down your throat, hot and sticky and settling in your stomach nicely.
Bakugo holds you there for a moment, panting, before he finally untangles his hand from your hair and lets you pull off his cock. He rights himself again by putting his cock back in his pants, and you stand back up, using your phone camera and flashlight to fix up your hair again.
Bakugo snorts at the sight, his legs slightly shaky, so he has to lean against the closet door.
âYou just gave me the best head Iâve ever had and the first thing you do is fix up your hair?â
âArenât you a virgin?â
His face goes red.
âNow how do you know that?!â
âMinaâs not exactly discrete with the gossip she collects.â
âHow the fuck does she know that?!â
âI donât fuckinâ know, ask her yourself,â you shrug, turning off your phone after youâve deemed your hair okay enough to get back out the closet.
âAnyway, we have another minute left,â you mentioned off-handedly.
âReally? It didnât feel that quick.â
Again, you shrugged.
âWhatever,â you stepped closer to him, âone for the road?â
Bakugo raised an eyebrow.
âWhat?â
You loosely wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed Bakugo on the lips, and he groaned at the taste of himself on your tongue, hands grabbing my your waist.
You smirked as you pulled back.
âDumbass.â
âWhat?!â His teeth ground against each other at your teasing.
A/N: I hope I didnât mischaracterise him here đ sorry to all the Bakugo stans if I did mischaracterise him lmao. Also this isnât the full thing, so there probably will be a part two! Not anytime soon tho lmao, at least not before my exams. I actually had some fun writing this! I felt awkward writing this the entire time tho bc my attitude is so similar to Bakugoâs, and I feel like that bled into the way I wrote y/n đđ Iâm not the best at writing smut yet btw can you tell
also Iâm sorry if the pacing feels kind of rushed sometimes and if I worded it poorly, I tried to take my time with this but reading it back, the pacing isnât as slow in some places as Iâd like it to be and some of the wording is actually really bad lol. Also can you tell Iâm projecting myself into the narrative again thru y/n
Whining whimpering sexually pathetic Katsuki my love đ«¶
long ass a/n. Actually reading it back I use the word âalsoâ a lot. Great!
I have a looong smut fic on the way for the Bakugo fans out there đ đ đ just know that I donât know ANYTHING about sex tho and that my only experience is fanfiction đđ
Iâm only halfway throughout the fic and it DOES feature transmasc reader tho, so I thought Iâd give the heads up instead of just dropping a Bakugo fic on a random Thursday, since based on the theme of my account, dropping a Bakugo fic is SUPER out of left field for me lmao
Also Bakugo has so many more tags than Izuku lmao???
A redraw of a previous post of mine that I wanted to refresh for the anime's final episode (had this planned for episode 170 all the way back in December but I got a little sidetracked and put this on the backburner for a while)
đŹ 15  đ 1158  â€ïž 7121 · "I guess I thought... we'd be competing... and I'd be on your heels... for the rest... of our... lives..." - Kacchan
Synopsis: Reader has abandonment issues, depression, and probably more than just that, so when thereâs no communication between them and their adoptive father, Izuku, things get bad.
Warnings: abandonment undertones, suicidal ideation, self-harm, suicidal thoughts, not proofread,
Tags: gn!Reader, androgynous terms for Reader, heavy angst, Iâm projecting again lmao, angst with an open ending, comfort towards the end, teen!Reader, hero!Izuku, teacher!Izuku,
A/N: guess whoâs projecting againnnnnn⊠sorry chat lmfao, yall have NO faith in him (NOT the angst post I was talking about in the post from two posts ago Iâll start writing that now lol)
Something was wrong about the apartment. Something tense.
Itâs been a few months since Izuku had adopted you and taken you in, and while things were going smooth, you had grown used to the ease in the air and the comfortable silence.
However, recently, you and Izuku argued.
It was about something stupidâabout how he would overwork himself and spend less and less time at home in favour of his hero work, and when he was home, he was grading his studentsâ papers. You were sure that juggling two high-demanding jobs like that and a kid wasnât healthy, so you implored him to take a hiatus off of one or both jobsâthey were well-paying anyway, especially with teachers in Japan being highly respected, so there was more than enough money for him to be able to take a break.
Admittedly, the argument stemmed from your own selfish desiresâyou just wanted to spend more time with your dad and actually get to know him, properly this time, instead of hastily getting to know him the first time you meet via adoption.
But who could blame you? Who could blame a touch-starved, generally affection-starved 16-year-old like you?
Was starting an argument over this kind of thing childish? Yeah. But did you think about that or the consequences in the moment? No.
You donât remember a lot of the argumentâyou were already having a shit day at that point and Izuku not even acknowledging you was your breaking point, you supposed, so you just wanted to forget about the day in general. But you remembered some of the things that were said to you.
âThis is childish of you, Y/n! Youâre sixteen, you should be more mature by now!â
âI donât have time to spend with anyone! Not with hero work and teaching.â
âWhy are you bringing this up now?! I donât have time to argue with you right now, Y/n!â
Because of the way you were brought up before getting adopted, you werenât typically the type of person to ask for things. You werenât the type of person to ask for food, water, clothes, anything. You were afraid to ask for things because it usually ended up in an argument.
So, when you asking for something turned into what you fearedâan argumentâyou gave up altogether. When Izuku refused to hear you out, you clamped your mouth shut and quickly shut down the argument, opting to go to your room.
Izuku seemed to be baffled by the reaction, because he stumbled over his words for a moment before muttering, âRunning away, huh?â, but you couldnât hear him. At least, you pretended you couldnât.
You havenât tried asking for anything since then, instead just holing yourself up in your room every time you came home from school. Izuku left dinner by your door every evening, and sometimes it would come back empty or at least half-eaten, other times it would sit the same way it sat last night.
Itâs been two weeks, and you had yet to ask for or do anything. You only came out of your room when you were certain Izuku was either in his office, bedroom, or away somewhere else, and there had yet to be any communication between you.
The lack of communication made you anxious. You desperately wanted to reach out, you really did, but what if it just devolved into another argument? What if everything you say falls on deaf ears again? What if Izuku abandons you after another argument like everyone else?
Itâs those exact thoughts that bring you to your bathroom floor, on your knees with fat tears streaming down your face as you clean your arms of any blood using antiseptic. The pain stings, and it runs deep, fresh scars rebranding old ones.
A bitter taste lingers in the back of your mouth, though youâre not sure where itâs from.
Bandaging up the scars is the worst part. The coarse material rubbing against the exposed flesh and probably making the pain worse does nothing to actually help with what you feel, but it does provide a distraction. It doesnât help, but at least you donât have to think for a while with the pain preoccupying you.
You went through the monotonous process of wrapping a layer or two of bandages around both upper arms, sealing them off with a strip of surgical tape.
The last thing you did was clean the blade in your bathroom sink, letting your mind wander as you made sure it was devoid of any evidence.
Izuku would be so mad if he found out about thisâdisappointed, too, you bet. Because he doesnât have time to deal with you in general anymore, he certainly wouldnât have the time to deal with this, and he probably would find this more annoying than anything if he ever found out about your little habit.
â§Ëê°đê±àŒâ§â
The next morning, you woke up to what you expected to find on a Sundayâsilence. Itâs been like this since you argued, and while everythingâs been blanketed with silence since, Sundayâs have been heavier for some reason.
Maybe itâs because Sundays are usually chore days and youâd help Izuku out with said chores on Sundays, but now, instead of getting to help with the chores, theyâre almost always already doneâwith the exception of the laundry, which Izuku doesnât bother to ask you to put them away anymore. He does his own clothes himself and hopes you know when yours are needing to be put away.
You groggily sat up in your bed, eyelids still semi-stuck together until you brought the heels of your palms up to rub away the exhaustion. You brought a hand over your mouth to cover a yawn out of habit, and as you opened your eyes further, you grabbed your phone off your nightstand.
10:36AM. God, thatâs late. At least, by Izukuâs standards.
The ache in your forearms worsened as you stretched, and thatâs when you remembered the bandages and the scars. You sighed, figuring that youâd replace them laterâyou didnât have the energy right now, you couldnât really be bothered to.
You stood up quicker than usual without thinking, and for a moment you were fine, but then you heard the telltale ringing in your ears and the illusional frost cover the inside of your mouth, and you had to sit back down again. Black spots covered your vision before clearing, and breathing felt like a chore for a moment.
It made sense, you guessed. You hadnât eaten properly in⊠a while, actually. Maybe you should go grab a snack.
Standing up slower this time, with legs still slightly shaky, you sighed deeply as you padded across carpeted floor, inhaling the scent of dust and the now-familiar scent of your bedroom, sneezing because of said dust. You need to clean up the dust again⊠ugh.
You picked an old sweater up from the back of your desk chair and threw it on, just to make the bandages on your forearms less obvious.
Your bedroom door creaked as you opened it, and you winced at how loud the sound was in the silent apartment, sans the sound of the laundry being washed. You noticed the plate of last nightâs dinner left behind at your door, left untouched. A pang of guilt hit your heart as you picked it up.
You sighed again, carrying the plate of untouched dinner to the kitchen. You froze at the sight of Izuku at the dining table, but he was so lost in his work that he didnât even notice you. Grading papers againâhe probably already forgot about the argument you guys had.
You walked into the kitchen as quietly as you could with wooden floorboards sounding louder than usual with the tense silence. At least, it was tense on your end. Izuku didnât even seem to notice the tension, muttering to himself about the essays he was grading.
You tried to scrape your dinner into the bin quietly, feeling guilty about how much food you were wasting, but the sound of the food hitting the bottom of the bin caught Izukuâs attention.
You avoided his gaze, but he seemed to freeze for a second, almost in disbelief at seeing you in the kitchen after avoiding him by hiding in your room for so long. You couldnât look at him, a lump forming in your throat.
You swallowed said lump and turned away from his eyes, although you still felt Izuku burning holes into your back as he watched. You put the empty plate and utensils in the dishwasher as gently as possible and closed it again, letting the appliance go about its wash, and turned to grab a snack for breakfast out from the pantry.
ââŠdonât eat that for breakfast,â Izuku quietly spoke up, watching you reach for a muesli bar. You hated those things, but whatever you could get for breakfast.
ââŠhuh?â You asked, hand dropping, still holding the muesli bar. You hesitantly turned around to find that Izuku had stood up from his seat at the dining table.
âDonât grab anything,â he said, voice gentle but now confident, âIâll make you something.â
âO- oh, um⊠are you sure?â You hesitantly asked, voice unsure; small. Izuku nodded.
âYeah. Put that back and go sit down, I can make something.â
â§Ëê°đê±àŒâ§â
You ended up sat at the couch instead of the dining table, curled up in a small ball on the soft fabric with your knees tucked close to your chest and your phone sitting on your thighs. Youâve realised that you should probably break your newfound habit of doomscrolling and spend your time doing something more productive, but what else was there to do?
Sighing quietly and closing TikTok for what felt like the thirteenth time that day, you opened Pinterest instead. It probably wasnât much better, but at least youâre not exposed to as much hate on Pinterest.
Izuku eventually came to sit down with you, two plates in his hands with syrup-covered waffles. Two waffles each, cut into quarters.
So thatâs what smelled so good.
You put your phone in your pocket and almost hesitantly reached for the waffles, but ended up withdrawing your hand after a second of hesitation.
âNothing,â you murmured, âIâm sorry, Iâm not hungry today,â your stomach growling at you to eat something said otherwise, but you ignored it. Izuku definitely heard it though, and heat rose to your cheeks. You refused to look at him, staring intensely at your lap.
ââŠplease, eat something,â Izuku pleaded, his voice bordering on begging.
A pang of guilt hit your heart again, and so the guilt drove you to unfold yourself and pick up a part of the waffle.
Slowly, you nibbled away at the piece you picked up. You were only halfway through your piece when Izuku spoke up.
âIâm sorry,â he finally said, already half done with his waffles, âI shouldnât have⊠I shouldnât have called you childish. You⊠are a child, it makes sense for you to react like that. I shouldnât have dismissed you, either. If anything, I was the childish one.â
ââŠIâm sorry too,â you admitted, âI shouldnât have yelled at you.â
âYou have no reason to apologise, Y/n. Iâm your father, I shouldâve known better than to treat you like that.â
You hesitated at that response. You wanted to apologise again, but at that point itâd just get annoying and Izuku would get mad.
ââŠthank you. For apologising,â you finally broke the silence, continuing to nibble in your waffle, taking more confident bites now.
Izuku smiled softly at the sight of you eating, finally.
A/N: oof sorry guys. ALSO SORRYYYYYY FOR LEAVING YOU IN THE DARK FOR SEVERAL WEEKS đđ yall have no idea how much my motivation crashed đ oh yeah can yall tell that im projecting đ i love it here so much!!!! đđđđ (biggest lie ive ever told). Pathetic father figure Izuku ml please comfort me for existing đđ
