INFJ

introverted • intuitive • feeling • judging INFJ:PPP

[infj-feelings]

Hi. :) I would appreciate some advice! I'm an ENFP (female), and I'm kinda like.. I don't wanna say love because that's weird, but I really like this INFJ girl, like she's so amazing and I just adore her. It's safe to say I've developed a sort of crush on her, and she's said she likes me too. We flirt pretty much everyday (even sexually), but things never go passed that. Should I just give her time to open up? How do I bring up a potential relationship without scaring her away?

First of all, congrats! Finding a cool person who likes you back is amazing! If an INFJ flirts with you they might be serious about it, so it seems like she is definitely interested. But yeah, since she is introverted you might want to give her enough space. If she is an INFJ she will probably have picked up on subtle hints and if she even went ahead to say so, I would say go for it tho! Don't be pushy of course but you might want to just ask her out, spend an evening just the two of you.

I wish you the best of luck!

– Hana

[infj-feelings]

What is it like dating an INFJ?

It's probably very similar to dating in general.

– Hana

[infj-feelings]

So, I feel as if my friend is more INFJ than I am because she is more anxious and scores higher in school than I do.. does that have anything that factors in?

I am going to go ahead and boldly say no, absolutely not.

(Also, there is no such thing as "being more ____" than someone else.)

– Hana

[infj-feelings]

I'm an INFJ -- though, I can easily switch from being serious to trying to joke (only when trying to impress others). Is this common?

I do not think this is necessarily tied to a specific type – every type can have humour and be serious at the same time.

– Hana

[infj-feelings]

NOT urgent; is it normal for INFJs to feel as if they aren't .. well, and INFJ, sometimes? Sometimes I doubt I am. I guess it's because I feel I don't fit into the mold.

To be quite frank, a typical INFJ thing would be to be completely sure of their type due to their future oriented Ni. But on the other hand, it is entirely possible that you are an INFJ and simply feel doubt for a variety of reasons. My recommendation is to just keep reading about cognitive functions and analyze your behaviour to find your true type – it takes time.

– Hana

[infj-feelings]

Not urgent, just wondering, what theme do you use?

I created it specifically for this blog, so it’s not really available.

– Hana

[infj-feelings]

(Not urgent) just wondering if there's a function within the INFJ personality to explain this. I desire organization of my life (keeping a clean desk, writing a weekly schedule, etc) which I understand is probably the J in me. But I also seem to be driven by emotions and if I don't feel like cleaning or adhering to the schedule, then I won't. Is this a matter of F and J at odds, or is there another function going on?

Let me tell you: what you are experiencing is absolutely normal and human and common. Many people of all types enjoy having a tidy desk but at the same time don't always feel like doing stuff that isn't fun. Being a J type does not mean you are very organised and tidy – it means your strongest extraverted function is a function that makes decisions, it's the function you show the world.

– Hana

[infj-feelings]

Hi I'd like to say first off I am amazed about this web page I've randomly found about INFJ's! :D Anyways, I would like to know more about INFJ in love relationships. I am in my first one. We have been together for almost a year now. And honestly I think im going crazy or something. I'm always getting an attitude with him, im feeling depressed, sad, angry at some times. I wish to better myself, and I was thinking to take a break to heal myself. Does any other INFJ's have problems like this?

Thanks first of all, I’m glad you enjoy it! You can definitely check out the love tag to find more info about the topic.

To be honest, I feel like if you aren’t happy in your relationship then you might consider taking a break. If you are feeling depressed, sad and angry instead of loved, supported and happy then your relationship is definitely not working out.

Let’s also hear some input from other INFJs.

– Hana

[infj-feelings]

I am an INFJ (I am very close to the line on J and P and your explanations of the difference in the two was very helpful)...I'm not a fan of the connotation of the word JUDGING. I feel like I and many other INFJs are very open minded people, even if we read people well and do it quickly and are very perceptive even if we aren't Ps. Can you help me with some perspective on this?

I agree and find the terminology misleading for people who aren’t very educated on the system. The same goes for the Thinking and Feeling – it makes it seem for some people like Feeling types aren’t capable of logic etc.

You have to remember that in the context of cognitive function theory the term “judging” simply means that your strongest extraverted function is a judging function – a function that makes decisions. And similarly, “perceiving” simply means that the strongest extraverted function is perceiving – a function that takes in information.

This is why many people do not like the usage of the letters at all. The letters simply tell us which functions are used, and the dimensions of judging/perceiving and thinking/feeling are not to be interpreted in the usual meaning.

– Hana

[infj-feelings]

is it common for infjs to second guess themselves bc i second guess myself all the time and i usually regret everything i say to ppl

That’s just a normal human thing. When you feel uncomfortable, misunderstood and vulnerable around other people you might regret opening up. But I assure you that other people do not think about it as much as you do.

– Hana

[infj-feelings]

Any colleges you'd recommend for INFJ's?

I am neither living in the US nor too familiar with the US higher education system and definitely cannot recommend colleges.

– Hana

[infj-feelings]

I was wondering if it was common for us to feel better about ourselves when we're making other people happy. but then being the introverts we are we have to go be alone but we get sad when we're alone because there's no one there to make happy?

I am definitely guilty of giving a lot without expecting anything in return. I just love making people happy. But yeah, it is a bit conflicting for us because we don’t hang out too much around other people. However, I think that’s a good thing since we end up focusing our energy on people close to use, and try to make those important people happy!

– Hana

[infj-feelings]

Do INFJ's tend to feel guilty about things or over think things they shouldn't be concerned about? I have an insanely strong guilty conscience and I was wondering if it had something to do with being an INFJ

It might be related to your Fe function that makes you feel bad when there is injustice and things aren’t harmonious. I definitely can relate!

– Hana

[infj-feelings]

hello! I was wondering what the characteristics of an INFJ with a highly developed T function would be like and an INTJ with a highly developed F function would look like. I've been typed as both INFJ (2/3rds of the time) and INTJ (1/3rd of the time) and can't seem to figure out which one I am. Thanks!

An INFJ with strong Ti will be more balanced and be able to distance themselves from other people’s emotions, and make decisions based on their own logic and values. At the same time, an INTJ with strong Fi will be more in tune with their own emotions and consider their inner morals more when making decisions.

Often it is said that INFJs and INTJs can seem very similar outwardly when their secondary emotion isn’t as obvious as their dominant Ni. In the end it comes down to whether you make judgements that contribute to harmony between people or that create order between things.

– Hana

[infj-feelings]

Being an introvert is the most difficult thing ever because I just want to talk to someone so freaking badly but I don'T KNOW HOW TO START CONVERSATIONS. Like, how do I do that without talking?!?!? And I'm N O T going to be the one to talk first unless I really know the person, you know? It's soooo frustrating.

From my own experience I’ve learnt that talking to people is a skill that can be learnt! Many people don’t believe me that I am introverted because I’m not shy or quiet when talking to them. I find the easiest way is to ask questions! People love talking about themselves, and it’s easy to keep a conversation going by being genuinely curious. And from talking to extraverts I’ve noticed that they often do not feel as awkward as us about subtle social nuances. So just try to go for it!

– Hana

[infj-feelings]

I was just wondering whether there was a correlation between the mbti type and political standing. I'm an infj and I lean toward democrat. In my opinion, it can be broken down into two groups: those who are citizens of themselves or those who are citizens of the world. I feel like I am obligated to serve those in need, especially as a Christian. I've heard differing viewpoints and just wanted to know your opinion.

I feel like there might be some correlation, since T types often put more importance on things and data while F types gravitate towards people; so F types might be more inclined to be democratic, if we are thinking of US politics. I’ve found a lengthy article about it here.

Let’s hear about the political views of our followers as well! (For those who do not live in the US feel free to talk about your views in terms other than democrat/republican.)

– Hana

[infj-feelings]

( not urgent ) I often get depressed over school and feel like it all goes too fast for me while everyone else speeds past . I don't even look for perfection in my work , I just really stressed out all the time over just knowing a due date is coming . Would this be at all connected to being an INFJ, or is it just my problem ? Sorry for the spaces between punctuation , but apparently there's a bug where messages don't send if they're too close ?

Feeling bad about school is such a common thing, mostly because most education systems suck. Being an introvert you might feel especially overwhelmed by the people surrounding you and the constant stimulation. I too get stressed out about deadlines a lot.

Can any followers also relate?

– Hana