A/N: Just a random word vomit from a long time ago. Dumping this here because I need to post things on this new blog so it won’t look empty. I /might/ post more in the future but lol idk. And yes, Jooheon is my monsta x bias.
Warning/s: nothing, really. Smoking?
Dimly lit room, dark walls, blue curtains. The windows were covered with droplets of rain, and the only thing that could be seen outside was a blur of fog and lights. The city was still asleep but the sound of the cold and strong wind kept them company.
However, she still feels safe even though it wasn’t something she’s used to wake up to.She sat up and glanced at the snoring figure on her right, red hair and pale skin sprawled all over the bed.
She tried fighting the blush forming on her cheeks as she remembered what happened just a few hours ago.
The way his rough hands touched her skin, the sweet nothings he whispered throughout , body worship that got her on the edge of bliss and the reassuring kisses that he gave her, telling that everything would be okay.
She always wonder why Jooheon always stays. Not that she doesn’t want him to, it’s just that she finds it unbelievable that someone like him would find the patience not to leave her.
Everyone will leave, it’s always that way. Plus, she’s a mess–no one wants a mess.
She reaches out for her cigarette case on the bedside table and lights up a stick, inhaling the smoke and feeling the burning sensation in her lungs; it’s one of the few things that reminds her that she’s here, that she exists. She stays like that for a few minutes, enjoying the silence and the peaceful view of the outside. It’s only a matter of time that she goes back to reality, and maybe all of this would soon be gone.
“So nice to see you awake, even your back looks so beautiful.”
She turns to see Jooheon looking at her with sleepy eyes. “Hey.”
“You’re so cold.” Jooheon answered with a pout. She laughs and laid beside him again; he brushes the wild bed hair out of her face. “How are you feeling?”
“Tired.” She flatly answers and takes the cigarette to her lips. Jooheon already knows how to interpret that, and doesn’t bother to ask further. He just kisses her forehead and pulls her closer. He also takes the cigarette from her and uses it too, doing a few more puffs before tossing it on the ashtray.
He feels her lazily tracing his arms with her long fingers until it intertwined with his own. Jooheon knows that something is wrong; They’ve already known each other for a long time for him not to notice the little things, habits that are a giveaway that she is worried.
“What are you thinking about?”
She looks up to him like a deer in headlights, like she was caught doing something she wasn’t supposed to and looks away. “Nothing.”
This time Jooheon lays on his side, making sure that he’s facing her and looks at her in the eyes. She suddenly looks a bit scared and vulnerable, and Jooheon feels sorry for her. “Tell me whats bothering you.”
She takes a deep breath before saying it, like she has rehearsed it a hundred times on her head.
It wasn’t because of pity, Jooheon reminds himself. It was never because of pity. Jooheon knew that from the first day they met she was already the one (as stupid and as hopelessly romantic it may sound). There was something about her that attracts him so much and the fact that he can’t define what it was doesn’t matter anymore. He loves her. That’s just it.
“Of course I do, silly. What made you think that?”
Jooheon grew up receiving a lot of love, and he knows the reason why she’s being like this is because she feels insecure.
It’s okay, he thinks. If no one can give her the love she needs then he will.
She bites her lip. “Sometimes I doubt if this–what we have, is real. You know that you’re not supposed to be here with me, Jooheon. This isn’t right. We’re not-”
She suddenly feels his lips upon hers and for a second he was already hovering over her, pushing her back against the bed.
“This is real, I am real.”
Jooheon’s kisses were sweet and painfully slow,and it took them a few moments to pull away, both of them catching their breaths.
“Don’t ever doubt me. If I don’t have feelings for you then I wouldn’t be here now.” Jooheon caresses her face. “I love you.”
She doesn’t smile. She thinks she’s happy though.
Or to be more more accurate, relieved.
