‘ i’m what the kids call full of anxiety ’
‘ life has truly been meaningless without vine. nothing’s funny anymore. i haven’t laughed in months, not even a chuckle. ’
‘ no offense but….. release your inhibitions, feel the rain on you skin ’
‘ people are always like ‘are you a morning person or a night person’ and i’m just like buddy i’m barely even a person ’
‘ i’m such a fall bitch i wish it was october ’
‘ i might be a bit fucked up but i swear i have a good heart ’
‘ nothing will ruin your 20′s more than thinking you should have your life together ’
‘ not dating me? sad. tragic. for you at least ’
‘ nothing feels better than winning monopoly. not love. not sex. not free pizza. nothing ’
‘ it makes my whole day better to see you ’
‘ do u ever get those days where u actually look kinda ok and u take 400 selfies bc this day may never come again ’
‘ uhh!! i need a gif, a vacation, a bowl of fruit, and $40,000 ’
‘ i just want my heart to stop hurting ’
‘ how do you get undepressed ’
‘ yeah i be sad sometimes, but don’t get it twisted i ain’t weak, bitch ’
‘ how do i become easier to love ’
‘ (not so) Breaking News: i’m sad again and everyone’s tired of hearing about it ’
‘ self care is rolling over and going back to sleep ’
‘ plot twist: you let someone in and they don’t fuck you over. now that sounds lit. ’
‘ i’m gonna hire someone to stand behind me and say swag whenever i pause between words ’
‘ i’m fluent in talking shit ’
‘ is ‘no’ an emotion because i feel it ’
‘ why doesn’t anyone appreciate my sarcasm and bitterness as much as i do ’
‘ who needs ghosts? haunt your own house. wander around your own living room wailing and crying ’
‘ i wanna be in love but also yikes ’
‘ i thought the stars were beautiful, but then i looked into your eyes ’
‘ i love people who get excited about stars ’
‘ i wonder if someone has ever thought of me so much at night that they couldn’t sleep ’
‘ i feel at home when i look at you ’
‘ i want to be kind and gentle and loving and i want people to see me and smile and i just want to make people happy ’
‘ grandad built this house with his bare hands, kids. most people use bricks but not grandad. he thought hands were bricks. ’
‘ the gorilla could have died and been done with in like a week but none of you know how to be normal ’
‘ i break my heart three times per day ’
‘ i’m tired, but i’m not sure what i’m tired of yet ’
‘ making me laugh is the key to my heart ’
‘ i stay alive for like 3 people lol ’
‘ sometimes u just wanna bash your fucking head in ’
‘ highest form of art: girls ’
‘ i don’t want to look ‘pretty’ i want to look otherworldly and vaguely threatening ’
‘ the best kind of alcohol is a lot ’
‘ yoU THINK YOU’RE REAL CUTE, DON’T YOU???? REAL FUCKING CUTE, RIGHT???? i think so too ’
‘ and when you smile, the whole world stops and stares for a while, because you’re evil and you smiling like that generally doesn’t indicate anything good. i wouldn’t even call that smiling, it’s more like smirking. ’
‘ i love drunk me but i don’t trust her ’
‘ mood: i’ll wait in the car ’
‘ napping together is an important part of a relationship ’
‘ write ‘nothing is set in stone’ on my grave both as a witty joke and a subtle warning that i will be back ’
‘ if ur gonna date me u gotta be comfortable with a lot of casual silence bc i just never fucking talk ’
‘ current mood: angrily bisexual ’
‘ have you ever just stopped and realized if you haven’t met a certain person in your life, your life would be completely different ’
‘ are those feelings??? get them away from me ’
‘ i hope that i’m ok in a few years ’
‘ what a beautiful day to mind ya damn business ’
‘ i may seem like an angry person on the surface but deep inside i’m actually angrier ’
‘ my life is just a collection of poorly made decisions with alternative music playing in the background ’
‘ you can’t spell school without ‘i want to stab myself’ ’
‘ i’m too cute for 90% of the shit i go through ’
‘ the first step to any murder is to have fun and be yourself ’
‘ do i like him or is he just tall ’
‘ i hate perfect people… which is why i hate myself ’
‘ becoming a cold hearted bitch wasn’t really what i planned to do with my life but here i am ’
‘ hi i’m here to ruin everything ’
‘ oh sorry i was thinking about myself. did you want something? ’
‘ how do you politely tell someone that you want them naked on top of you ’
‘ i’m not even sassy i’m just an asshole ’
‘ i use hun not hon because you are not my honey, you are my fierce warrior ’
‘ no mom i already have a job it’s called being hardcore ’
‘ the best revenge is to look good ’
‘ it’s raining but it’s not men so what’s the point ’
‘ there’s always that one weak bitch in the group that isn’t down with murder ’
‘ sometimes being a person is very overwhelming ’
‘ i came out to attack people and i’m honestly having such a good time right now ’
‘ imagine a bag of trash with the words ‘handle with care’ and ‘fragile’ written on it. that would be me. ’
‘ the first step to murder is to have fun and be yourself ’
‘ i always wear black just to remind you that i’m always ready for your funeral ’
‘ i’m single by choice. it’s just not my choice. ’
‘ wanna know how punk i am?????? *punches a wall* drive me to the hospital ’
‘ idk what i’m doing w/ my life but i know i’m doing it wrong ’
‘ and on your left, you can see me, ruining everything ’
‘ i know i have friends but i feel like i have no one to talk to about the shit that goes on in my head ’
‘ do you ever just realize how lucky you are that you did the weird thing that led to you being friends with the people are friends with? ’
‘ holding hands is so nice and should be done more ’
‘ things i don’t have time for: this shit ’
‘ i swear if one more adult asks me what i’m going to do with the rest of my life i’m going to fly into the sun ’
‘ my whole life consists of wondering whether or not to make the bitchy comment ’
‘ i live in a constant state of feminist rage ’
‘ i may legally be an adult but don’t be fooled, i have no idea what the hell i’m doing ’
‘ just straight things #16: not me ’
‘ why do ppl get so mad when girls like themselves ’
‘ girls get made of fun of for everything. might as well do what you want lol ’
‘ i wanna be hot enough to make people question their sexual orientation ’
‘ i stopped caring when i was like 3 ’
‘ say no to kids, drugs ’
‘ i’m not crying there’s just overpriced college education in my eye ’
‘ i live in constant fear of being shit on by a bird ’
‘ if i go to hell i’m gonna torture everyone by continuously asking if it’s hot in here or if it’s just me ’
‘ drug dealer? no man. hug dealer. come here ’
‘ i’ll kiss you so hard don’t fuck w me ’
‘ hi good morning touch me inappropriately ’
‘ are we gonna fuckin hold hands tonight or what bitch ’
‘ yeah i think u cute.. so what?? wanna kiss about it?? ’
‘ i don’t know what i’m feeling but there’s a lot of it ’
‘ why can’t stuffing my face with pizza make me attractive? ’
‘ i wish i could download clothes ’
‘ i don’t like your clothes take them off ’
‘ my favorite flavor of cake is more ’
‘ is that dick gluten free ’
‘ lactose and no tolerance for yo bitch ass ’
‘ i want someone who will light a fire in me ’
‘ i want someone who will light me on fire ’
‘ napping together is an important part of a relationship ’
‘ pros and cons of being my friend – cons: i’m an asshole, pros: i’m your asshole ’
‘ do you have those people that you’d go anywhere with unconditionally, like they could say ‘let’s go check out that dumpster’ and you’d be like ‘i’m in’ ’
‘ what, with all due respect, the absolute fuck ’
‘ if u listen closely u can hear me not caring ’
‘ no logical decisions. we die like horror movie protagonists ’
‘ whenever you’re feeling suddenly calm it’s because i took your voodoo doll out for a picnic on a grassy hill ’
‘ 90% of my day is being nervous ’
‘ 50% idk 50% idc ’
‘ who wants to roadtrip w me we’ll hit as many ufo and paranormal hotspots ’
‘ will u still snapchat me when i am no longer young and beautiful ’
‘ just rolled my eyes so hard they fell off my head and now they’re rolling down the street ’
‘ houston i have so many problems ’
‘ today i’m feeling cloudy with a chance of sarcastic ’
‘ imho = in my hoe opinion ’
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