InkGrieving

Poetry.

[inkgrieving]

My first kiss broke a dream to the dark ceiling of my bedroom

I can’t look at you because when I do I am haunted

I am heavy chest and tears on the way home that I can’t explain away with rational thought or understanding

I feel you in the evening when you’re winding down for the day and you star me as the main character of your movie

It comes sudden and climbs my neck, in my mouth, to my lungs and into the valves of my heart

And she feels it, when you turned a corner she tripped and fell into the pit of my stomach

I can’t look at you because when I do I am haunted

I am stopped time and slowed breath that escapes and echoes in my ears with the sound of your steps

I feel you in the presence of your things scattered across the places I cross and the paths that I take -on purpose

It comes sudden, at the absence of your things- the grief climbs into my mouth to my lungs and into the valves of my heart

And she feels it, when you don’t turn the corner she sinks and pulls my shoulders to the pit of my soul

You were my first kiss in a dream that broke to the dark ceiling of my bedroom

[inkgrieving]

Blue and white soldier

I hope regret holds ya

I hope it lays heavy on your back

Like the strapped boot that you

pressed between his shoulders

I know suicide

Will kiss between your eyes

I know only shells go silent

But the soul never dies

I hope the screams don’t quiet

When you blast your own mind

I hope hell boils thick

To burn the hands that did the crime

I hope God only shows you

Your limited mercy

I hope dead kids point

And say

“He did it. That’s the one who hurt me”

[inkgrieving]

He’s just like Sunday

The calm of the week

He’s sunshine mornings

He’s the covers, he’s sleep

He’s the first cup of coffee

He’s the very first sip

He’s the rush in my veins

And the taste on my lips

He’s as easy as day

On top of it too

He’s the peak of the hands clock

He’s bubbly like noon

He’s the light in the evenings

He’s the dark in the sky

He’s every and all things

He’s my favorite guy

[inkgrieving]

Love is sick to my stomach

I wished heartbreak for two

I hoped my path would hold

The only happiness for you

Love is scary to wander

I’m stalking her too

Maybe learning her ways

Will bring me closer to you

Love is devilishly sly

When I captured your eyes

It slipped right out my heart

In freedom- whithered and died

[inkgrieving]

please never stop writing down your mind, i love it

🥺🥺 I love you! Thank you 🤍

[inkgrieving]

Our love for each other was a secret kept between glances

My eyes to your eyes to my lips to yours

A secret we kept from each other

A secret we kept from ourselves

A secret only passion can carry and time will tell

[inkgrieving]

I wondered about her

The touch of her hair

The sound of her laughter

The soul of her stare

I wondered in silence

A secret I kept

The truth of her smile

The smell of her scent

I wondered in silence

A secret I kept

If held hands were broken

If love can forget

I wondered and hoped

Her soul was too free

Empty hands held out open

Will his heart turn to me

[inkgrieving]

Listen my dear

Don’t be so kind

I may confuse it

with love in your eyes

that’s just the lonely

Lonely in me

I make a smile

More than it seams

[inkgrieving]

School Supply List 2018

Pencils, On the off chance you learn something worth noting for the future Pens, For the permanent stuff that you'll internalize to one day fuck you up Paper- 10 cases, 6 notebooks Because fuck the environment 6 folders and 3 binders Because teachers will also fuck the environment Bullet proof vest, For your classmate with the budding mental disorder Balls- preferably made of steel Because your feelings don't matter 3 inch mat Just in case one of the school guards needs to body slam you Mouth guard Also for the body slam Dry erase markers, 10 boxes of Kleenex, electric pencil sharpener, white board, black board, chalk, desk with the text-book holder on the bottom, Clorox wipes, baby wipes, hand sanitizer... Because school fund cuts. Also, if you can bring a teacher with you- that'll be great.

[inkgrieving]

Get In Line

they've got guns in their pants they want blood on their hands they've torched books on their porch leave pig heads at our doors they got A.Ks and bullets dipped in pigs blood, how foolish they've come to our block now they wanna burn our whole town down we tell 'em get in line well tell 'em get in line get in line get in line they're all jokes in a pot claims we partied in lots for them we're just bombs in a rag from them comes bombs in Iraq tell 'em we've fallen in Burma Dimashq is covered in blood tell 'em of lost life in fellujah And the things Serbia's done and come son, while you're there between red caps and drunk cheers tell 'em grab a ticket it's fine tell 'em get in line we tell 'em get in line well tell 'em get in line get in line

get in line we're all just chapel hill students a newly married couple who knew it but had dreams to uncage "yes we can" glimmered on stage tell 'em of drones that don't pick tell 'em of pawns that don't stick tell 'em how the queen cut us up tell 'em we've already been fucked and come son, if that won't go through add to red lines, stars of blue tell 'em grab a ticket it's fine tell 'em get in line

[inkgrieving]

what if it gets better

after you’ve left

what if mountains move

and your scars forget

what if the world in its pain

changes its ways

and people learn kindness

learn love once you stay

what if beautiful happens

your shoulders relax

a weight taken off

will straighten your back

lift your head my baby

look into my eyes

know I'll follow you under

our souls are both tied

[inkgrieving]

just a woman

at birth you fall at the feet

of a woman

My God

says heaven's at the feet

of a woman

i dare you

to walk in the feet

of a woman

i dare you

to see

what she sees as a woman

i dare you

to feel the betrayal of a woman

i dare you

to heal

the way love heals

in this woman

i dare you to care

the way she cares as a woman

believe that God

first made man

then a woman

for even

God

knew that

man needed women

[inkgrieving]

Familiar Trust

When the threat is familiar

You own more control

Trust the devils you know

Before the angels you don't

[inkgrieving]

Covering Color

I pray the black of my despair Doesn’t touch my colorful canvas Splatter with time’s rough stroke On another it finds its landing Drips off all four edges Brushes of love and life it blankets

The messy black of my despair Doesn’t leave a surface it doesn’t cover Spreads all over my only palette Mixes in with every color

The messy black of my despair Paints black with every color And every detail that I paint Is black covering color

[inkgrieving]

Wanderer

she followed a man with a rasp in his throat where the last one dragged his heart out from she followed him home what a task to be done when it’s ash on the ground what the last one’s done

[inkgrieving]

Self deception

Because he was here When you were gone I called him love And fell in his arms It never mattered That it wasn't true If my mind believed it My body would too

[inkgrieving]

depression, it does the worst and the worst that it does is nothing it turns everything to nothing