Fuck What You Heard @inkyhumor - Tumblr Blog

Tag yourself. (via HeyVeronica)

What I say: I feel like everyone is mad at me.

What I mean: I got the impression that one specific person is mad at/dissatisfied with/disappointed in me and that feeling has bled over into my perception of literally all other people, because emotionally I cannot grasp the concept that negative feelings or reactions to me are not 100% universal, and as I mostly define myself by what other people think of me I can barely imagine what it feels like to be an individual with free-standing feelings and depth of character separate from what is decided by the judgement of others, thus enforcing the idea that when one person is upset at me then everyone is, because when someone else decides what I am it becomes true.

wetsnail

I spent a year looking for this post.

mediamattersforamerica

Cable news is falling for GOP spin. Local news is not.

did-you-know

Glitter is so unique that it can be effectively used as forensic evidence. Because there are thousands of different types of commercial glitters, any glitter particles found on a suspect can be compelling evidence that they were at a crime scene where an identical glitter particle was found. Source

inkyhumor

HO SHIT. LITERALLY A CRIME TO LOOK FABULOUS XD

yotoob

We’ve bought a new house. And our new next door neighbours (two delightful gentlemen) will not stop being nice.

- bought us a seagull proof refuse bag (yes, they are actual things)

- loaned us garden tools when we didn’t have any

- invited us around for Friday night drinks so we could meet the other people on the lane

- one of them brought me a bunch of sweetpea flowers that he’d picked from his garden

- and tomorrow he’s coming to cut our hedge for us with his electric hedge trimmer thing idk, and all I have to do is hold the ladder.

Basically, I am UNSETTLED and am now having to enter into an arms race of niceness and I am already so behind oh god.

Long story short - I just baked a lemon drizzle cake, and it looks great but I can’t even eat it because MR AND MR NICE MUST RECEIVE AN OFFERING.

yotoob

ABSOLUTE CRISIS I GAVE THEM THE LEMON DRIZZLE AND THEN THEY INVITED ME IN TO HAVE A SLICE AND A COFFEE WITH THEM AND GAVE ME A TOUR OF THEIR HOUSE AND LET ME HOLD THEIR PUPPY. AND THEN THEY CAME AROUND TO HELP ME BAG UP THE HEDGE CLIPPINGS. THESE MEN ARE NICENESS PROS AND I CANNOT WIN.

yotoob

HELP WE HAD AN HOUR LONG POWER CUT ON THE STREET AND IN THAT TIME THE OTHER MR NICE CAME AROUND WITH MATCHES AND CANDLES ‘JUST IN CASE YOU DIDN’T HAVE ANY’. IT WAS BARELY DARK.

BASTARDS - I’M GOING TO HAVE TO HOST A DINNER PARTY AREN’T I?

fanaticalqueergeek

The Gay Agenda, everyone.

duskenpath

this is fucking i n c r e d i b l e

imagine-otp

Imagine your otps

yotoob

Just so everyone knows -

Mr and Mr Nice moved out around Christmas time 2016. (Further proof that 2016 was a cursed year)

We are still in touch and have been to visit them in their new house. They moved to gain some land, they have sheep aspirations for some reason. I love them.

We have new neighbours. I am currently engaged in a slow burn of niceness, which you can bet that I am going to crank up to the max when we move down permanently in June.

I WILL BE THE NICE ONE THIS TIME. PRE-EMPTIVE STRIKE. NO MERCY.