Hands rated E for Everyone, God included

Non-Binary | Bi | Aro/Ace safe space No terfs/racists/homophobes/sexists etc.

[saywhat-politics]

[soothifying-sounds-asmr]

Flower of Life by yukikawae

[naamahdarling]

There was some kind of glitch so what I saw was this:

And it fucked me UP the entire video waiting for the punchline that would explain it. I was SWEATING.

[habbadax]

Rambunctious

[doggirlhen]

puppy on head idiot

[placethemoonatmyeyes]

stop making shows about americans in europe… try europeans in america instead. the outrage of not knowing exactly what something costs at a store,, no public transport,, everyone smiling in your face and waiters scaring you by constantly popping up at your table… ice in your water for some reason,, the kind of culture clash i want to see!!

[obliqe]

fuck emily in paris i want françois in texas

[yardsards]

ivan in west virginia

all his neighbours immediately distrust him because he’s russian and they haven’t gotten over the red scare and also no one new has moved in to the town in almost a decade

but then he participates in podunknowheresville’s annual lawnmower race with a monstrosity made from scrap metal and far too much duct tape and he wins second place in a neck-and-neck final round against sam americason, the most anti-russian man in the village

and ivan is scared that he blew his one chance to get accepted by the community but then sam jumps off his lawnmower and pats ivan on the back and says “you did good, brother. i’m sorry i misjudged you. looks like hillbillies are the same no matter what country we come from. you’re just like us, ivan. guess our redneck town has room for a little extra red” and everybody laughs and the credits roll while the ussr national anthem gets played on a banjo and washboard

[thechildrenarewaiting]

This is just Letterkenny

[aflo]

gamer boyfriend yells GODDAMNIT! from the other room and throws his headset and you walk in all what's wrong babe :( and he's playing a story-driven indie game

[grimeclown]

He screamed because his favorite comic-relief side character experienced a backslide during his serious arc about overcoming a trauma he experienced in his childhood and lashed out at a cherished friend

[salithemage]

[nitrosplicer]

you can be fem with body hair! shaming body hair is rooted in racism, transphobia, and the desire to police the bodies of other people.

[ms-demeanor]

I am a glorified office administrator who understands server hardware why am I the only person in this company who gets what social engineering is?

[ms-demeanor]

Total stranger on the phone who we’ve never spoken to before: I have power of attorney over the CEO of this corporation and we are a customer of yours. Please change the administrator password on the server to XXXXX

My boss, putting on white grease paint and a red wig: Oh, of course! Let’s do it quickly so that you’ll want to keep working with us since you’re going to be making business decisions!

Me: I would sell you to satan for one corn chip and I’m allergic to corn but before you do this maybe you should call someone who is actually on our contact list for our customer and see if they’ve ever heard of this stranger.

My boss, looking through a selection of shoes that honk when you walk: Oh, but she said that it was very important that none of the employees know what was happening because they’re making staffing changes.

Me: As your lawyer I recommend that you just call a single one of our contacts and see if they’ve ever heard of her name.

My boss, shoving all of our technicians into a VW beetle: You’re not my lawyer.

Me: HOW THE FUCK WOULD YOU KNOW? I COULD BE! YOU SHOULD MAYBE CHECK ON THAT.

[yoursjupiter]

TIL everyone’s employee ID at my company is the last five of their SSN.

Boss: On the bright side, it’s only the last five

Me: YOU CAN COMMIT FRAUD WITH FOUR

[zevveli]

Security firms that are hired to check the security of banks will often use the following tactic: They will walk up to the teller in a suit with their ID badge and a clipboard and go:

“Hello I am [name] from [security firm] we’ve been hired to verify the security of the facility I need to see your computers.”

“Erm…I’ll have to verify that with my managers.”

“Congratulations, you have just passed the security verification.” [Scribbles on clipboard] “But in all seriousness I do need to verify your security so I need to see your computers.”

“Oh okay.” AND LETS THEM IN.

[palindromordnilap-deactivated20]

“Social engineering” is a way too fancy word for what it is. I know a guy (not personally) who broke several people out of prison by essentially writing “Greetings, please release this person, signed, whoever the judge is” on a piece of paper and faxing it there. Because no one would have a fax machine in their own house I guess.

[closet-keys]

not to derail, but holy shit that praxis

[quixoticanarchy]

I had this dream that there was a new grammatical case called the “tangitive” case and you had to use it for things that were real, unfortunately no one could explain to me how to tell whether something was real enough to be tangitive and insisted they could not understand anything I said

[princessmo]

jerry seinfeld in real life is incredibly straight but jerry seinfeld on the show is lgbt all at once

[sewerfight-deactivated20250114]

my friend was testing perfumes out at the store and she sniffed a bottle and anounced "ngl this bitch kind of sucks" The girl at the counter suddenly looked really sad, and my friend was like "I'm sorry, I wasn't talking about you." And the girl looked up and said "No don't worry, I didn't think that, but I just crushed a ladybug with my shoe" We both took a peak over the counter. she'd stepped on a red m&m

[sweatermuppet]

"so none of my experiences are unique huh 💔" rejoice in community & connection

[hauntednightmarekingdom]

i don't want community or connection

[sweatermuppet]

live & die miserable then

[toastbutteregg]

[vc-allthetime]

if you’re on tumblr and over the age of 24 it means the mental illness won

[andjablogge]

[kumboochies]

[telltaletypist]

i get that for most people tragedy is just always gonna feel Bad to read and that informs a lot of bury your gays discourse but we must not forget that a lot of people sincerely enjoy writing and reading tragedy and queer audiences still deserve to have good tragedies written by and for them imo

[telltaletypist]

like i hope i don't have to explain that there's a difference between a lovingly crafted tragic romance by a queer author featuring characters that represent them and a shitty tv show introducing a single gay character for brownie points then immediately killing them off for shock value

[skodasforge]

WSPTOTC Pride Flag

Pride Flag but for people who think Pride should be a respectable SFW event free of sexual debauchery and provocative clothing. Differs from the Gilbert Baker Design in that its colors are sampled from this image of Reverand Lovejoy's Wife screaming "Won't someone please think of the children"

[mrcarneasadafries-deactivated20]

LGBTQ+ children exist so pride events should be 100% respectable of them and if you think you have the right to wave your dick or bare ass in their presence then that literally makes you a child pedophile and you deserve to get shot in the face. Pride is for everyone, including children and fantasies, not for you to be a slut.

[skodasforge]

[ja-khajay]

all these posts about people clutching their pearls about seeing bare titties at pride make me laugh because at last year's pride i met a cishet guy who had no idea what was going on and had joined because he saw bare titties and thought "those people look like they are having fun, and also i can see tits for free" and he asked me about what was happening and let me explain LGBT struggles for some time before telling me he had a transgender cousin and he was going to make sure to be there for her in the future. bare tits will be the beacon to world peace

[godstiel]

colleges will be like ummm we have an IMPORTANT DIVERSITY MESSAGE. from your COLLEGE. and then the message is like Hello we googled diversity.