Here’s an interesting thought: whether through our thoughts and doubts holding us back, or forced into custody through chosen actions, in some way or another, a lot of us are prisoners.
For me, it has been both. I made a dumb choice and spent 183 days on a cell block with a variety of other inmates who found themselves in a similar situation. I also spent 5 days in a solitary cell as part of my sentence. For my poor choices, I ended up losing my freedom for 188 days. And I’m not even going to think about acting like I didn’t deserve every minute I was in custody. The reality is I probably deserved way more time than I got.
Having an ADHD brain, my jail sentence was a good thing, actually. I was forced to stop rushing around doing a hundred different things. I was reduced to routine and structure. It was like a hard reset of my brain. Once released after serving every second of my imposed sentence, I followed the routine of jail to the minute, from the 5:30 wake up to the 10pm lights out, including meal time, for about 18 months.
As someone who cannot tolerate the medication, I find myself now serving a life sentence, not as a state prisoner, but an inmate of my thoughts and fears. I am free from custody, and have been for decades, yet I find myself being locked away from full accomplishment by my brain. I still am an inmate.
