Sex Toy Reviews for Experimental Fuckers

@inquisitiveclam

In 2009, I joined a site called Sex Forums and never left. The following year, I started a Sex Forums blog, and I’ve been reviewing sex toys as a hobby since 2011. I’m a 30-year-old heterosexual woman, and I’ve been engaged since 2009. My fiance and I are monogamous and started dating in 2006. My fiance assists me when I review cock rings and other sex toys designed for couples, and I ask him what he thinks of toys designed for men. I would describe our sex life as spicy vanilla. Above all, I’ve tried to write thorough, honest, and fair reviews. I try to answer questions that I believe every selective buyer should ask before making a sex toy purchase. I rate sex toys on a 1-10 scale. Because I purchased the majority of the sex toys I’ve reviewed, I believe it’s important to discuss price, and it’s a factor in my ratings. I love (in no particular order) glass, metal, and silicone sex toys. (Who doesn’t?) I’ve never owned a stone or wood toy. I hate watch batteries. Hate. Watch batteries.

65 posts

secondhand-sheep-shack

U by Kotex Sleek Tampons have been recalled due to an unraveling defect.

Heads up recall…

boosting keep your bits safe people

the one brand of tampons I use…. are you fucking kidding me?

invertprivileges

PUBLISHED: DEC 12TH, 2018 - 10:34AM (EST)UPDATED: DEC 12TH, 2018 - 4:00PM (EST)

INDIANAPOLIS (WTHR) — The company that owns Kotex is recalling its U by Kotex Sleek Tampons due to a quality-related defect.

According to the company, the tampons are unraveling or coming apart upon removal. In some cases, users have had to seek medical attention to remove tampon pieces left in the body.

We announced today a voluntary recall of U by Kotex® Sleek® Tampons, Regular Absorbency sold in the U.S. & Canada for a quality-related defect that could impact the product performance. For info, please read our FAQs: http://bit.ly/2B7yMjr or contact us: http://bit.ly/2EiLhMe

The recall affects tampons manufactured between October 7, 2016 and October 16, 2018. They were distributed from October 17, 2016 to October 23, 2018, according to Kimberly-Clark.com.

Symptoms of the defect include pain, swelling, infections, nausea or vomiting. There have been a small number of reports of infections and injury, according to the company.

Anyone with the affected products are urged to stop using the product immediately and contact Kimberly-Clark’s Consumer Service team at 1-888-255-3499.

To see the full list of recalled products, click here.

#product recall #tampons #Kotex

uberrimedildos-deactivated20181

The Lube Experiment for Platinum Silicone Sex Toys

As with anything you read on the internet, these days in particular, one must consume things they read with a grain of salt. In this case a seemingly endless dialog on the safety of personal lubes and how contested they are with regards to your toys and body. I preface this little bit with the fact that I am not a doctor or a scientist, rather, someone who has a good idea of both matters and lots of friends who are both. So, among the numerous other ventures I have as a source of income, I do in fact make dildos, butt plugs, and other abstract adult toys using Platinum Silicone. I also have quite a nice inventory of ready to ship items, among those are little butt plugs. I made a batch of 5 a few weeks ago using Dragon Skin 20 Platinum Silicone and a blue mica to color the silicone. All five of those were duly selected to participate in a science experiment and subject to a five day inundation of lube. Lots and lots of lube I say. Fig.1 – 3

The experiment required five exactly the same Butt Plugs. Three lubes purchased at an adult store: One Water Based Swiss Navy, one Silicone Based Swiss Navy, and one Hybrid Water/Silicone “Wet” Elite. I purchased coconut oil from the grocery store along with a bottle of water, of which I drank half of after the experiment. I filled five jars with one butt plug each, four of those jars with 8 ounces of the associated lubes and one with 8 ounces of water as a control. I allowed the jars to sit for exactly five days - 120 hours, and observed the results. The ingredients list for each of those items in fig. 4.

Tick tick tick, the clock went and five days later I took a look at the jars. Prior to opening, I noticed that the plug in both the water/control jar and the water based lube jar there were bubbles present on the plug itself. Fig. 5. I suspect a very small degree of out-gassing. Otherwise, a few surprises awaited me as I removed the plugs from each jar.

The first, immediate, most dramatic change was the plug soaked in the Silicone based lube. It had nearly tripled in size, clearly absorbing the lube as there was a measured 5.5 ounces of fluid left in the jar, and the plug was essentially completely ruined. The second, and an actual bit of surprise to me was that the plug soaked in the water based lube had lost some of its color. Most noticeable in Fig 6-7. Additionally the surface was now a matte instead of slick and shiny. Considering the changes that took place to the silicone soaked plug, you might think that the plug soaked in the hybrid water/silicone lube would have displayed a more dramatic change. Only a slight loss of color was observed, about half as much by comparison to the water based lube plug, and to the same extent the surface was slightly more matte than when it went in. The plug soaked in coconut oil displayed no change, and neither did the control plug soaked in water. Fig. 8 shows the plugs side by side. For comparison, the control plug and the water based lube soaked plug are side by side in Fig. 9. There has been a clear change in color.

So, with all of that, I have to conclude a few things that may be contrary to what a good deal in the sex toy, sex toy review industry recommend for personal lubes that are safe for you, and safe for the platinum silicone toys you may use. It’s rather dramatically evident, with at the very least the Swiss Navy brand, that silicone based lubes will in fact destroy your silicone toys. This is not a big surprise as its a bit of a known thing. However, the water based lube, again, with the Swiss Navy brand and may not be the same with other brands, does in fact have an affect on platinum silicone, as does the hybrid water/silicone lube but not to the same extent. Now, given that the plugs sat in these fluids for 120 hours, I would venture to say that regardless of the outcome of my little experiment here, that both are still suitable for use as long the toys are cleaned immediately after use. I would also conclude. Actually let me preface this, again, with the following statement, “I am not a doctor.” Although after seeing the results here, I contacted two doctors and asked their opinion on coconut oil for use as a personal lubrication, specifically with regards to use with sex toys. One that I have known for 15 years replied, and I quote, “ Oh yeah, cooter are coo coo for coconuts.” She further noted that the only downside is that coconut oil can stain sheets but a lot of PT doctors actually recommend it. The other Doc said, as long as you aren’t allergic to it, is a fairly safe alternative to chemical lubes. So there it is and Ill be updating my “What lubes are safe for my new toy?” in the Q&A.

Be well, Marco.

#experiment #lube #butt plugs #silicone

just-shower-thoughts

Ice skating is walking in cursive.

Updated Library For Kinksters

I completed some major changes to the Library For Kinksters. Here is the update…

Aftercare

Aftercare 101

Aftercare For Dominants

Coping With Emotional Subdrop

Dom Drop

How To Make A Sub Drop Kit

Online Aftercare

sub/Dom Space, sub/Dom Drop and Aftercare

Subdrop and Aftercare

Subspace and Aftercare

Consent

Consent & BDSM

Guide to Consent

Doms, Daddies & Masters

7 Fundamental Characteristics of A Daddy Dom

12 Characteristics Of An Ideal Submissive

25 Things Daddies Should Do For Their Littles

30 Rules For A Modern Gentleman

45 Things A Girl Wants, But Won’t Ask For

50 Rules for Daddies

100 Sweet Things You Can Do For Your Princess

101 Things To Do To Make Your Slave Feel Owned (loved)

Alternative Names For “Daddy”

Alternative Domme Titles

Aspects Of Control

Asserting Ownership - Rules

Daddy Up!

Defining A Daddy Dom

Dominants Need Training Also

Fun Tasks Daddies Can Give Their Littles

Help For New Doms

How (and Why) To Go Down On Your Submissive

How To Be A Good Dominant

How to Find a Submissive

Knowing when to be a Dom and when to be her Man

New to DDLG - A Daddy Dom

Observations On Doms By A Submissive

So you want to be a Dom?

So Your Girlfriend Wants You To Dominate her

Some Little Rules All Daddies Should Know

The Dom Commandments

Things for Daddies to Keep in Mind

What Being A Dom Is About - A Submissive’s Perspective

What does the title Daddy mean?

What is a Daddy Dom?

What is a Daddy Dom Mentor?

What It Means To Be A Dominant

What Makes A Good Dominant

Littles, Subs & Slaves

6 Questions Every Submissive Needs To Ask Her Potential Dominant

7 Common Types of Submissives

10 Tips For Living With A Sadist

10 Things A Dominant Needs From A Submissive

11 Red Flags Of An Abusive Dominant

26 Baby Girl Jobs

50 Things You Can Do For Your Daddy

A Bottom’s Responsibility

A Dominant’s Advice To His Submissive

A Man Who Knows You…

A Good Dom vs. A Bad Dom

Acid Test For Subs

Ask A Million And One Questions

Attraction to DD/lg: A Little’s Perspective

Baby girl or little? A brief introduction

Care and feeding of Daddies

Characteristics Of A Good Daddy

Coaxing The Daddy Dom Out Of Your Partner

Feminist Submissive

Finding Your Dominant

Good Rules For Middles and Littles To Live By

Guide For Young Newbie Sub Girls

How a Dom Behaves Shows How He Will Behave Towards You.

“How do I find Daddy?” A guide to help you safely find the Daddy you’re looking for.

How Does A Submissive Ask for Something from Their Dominant?

How To Find A Dom

How to Take Proper Care of Your Dom

I Solemnly Swear I Will Not Do This To Daddy

Novice Submissives

Physical abuse of littles - it is never OK

Signs Of A Fake ‘Dominant’

Stuff no one tells you about submission, until the spreader bar is on and you are trapped.

Submissives, Learning to Trust Your Instincts

Submissive Pride

Submissive Traits - Intelligence

Things My Dream Daddy Would Say To Me

What is a Little?

When newbie subs, with asinine “doms,” need to run away.

Why I call him Daddy

Your Rights As A Submissive

Long Distance Relationships

10 Ways To Survive A Long Distance Relationship

Getting The Most Out Of A Long Distance Relationship

How To Make Long Distance Relationships Work

Long Distance Relationships - Tools To Cope

Long Distance Relationships (LDR) Contemplation: Sticking with plans

The Long Distance D/s Relationship

Mental Health

BDSM practitioners ‘healthier and less neurotic’ than ‘vanilla’ peers

Body image & BDSM

How to Get Over Feeling Sad

Is BDSM normal?

Love your Vulva – a self-esteem guide to your sensitive bits!

Managing bipolar disorder in a D/S relationship

Meditation And Mindfulness

On Cutting

Steps For Letting Go of Painful Memories

Things to Do When You’re Anxious, Scared, or Just Need a Distraction

Tips for Recovering from Codependency

What Are Anxiety Disorders? (Infographic)

Why Do I Feel Unloveable?

Relationships

10 Habits of Happy Couples

10 Top Communication Mistakes

10 Types of Emotional Manipulators

12 Relationship Truths We Often Forget

50 Best Ways To Say “I Love You”

BDSM Breakups: All Good Things Must Come to an End

BDSM: Control Goes Both Ways

Collars and Collaring - A Personal Perspective

Communication Is Key

Concept Daddy Dom/Little Girl Relationships

Daddy Doms and their little girls

Daddy Doms, Baby Girls, Little Boys And More

Date Night In A Jar

DD/lg In Public

D/s and Domestication

Factors That Make A Relationship

Finding Love When You Least Expect It

Finding Others with Common (Adult) Interests

How To Be Present In Your Relationships

How To Build A Healthy Relationship

How To Get What You Want In A Relationship

How To Know When You’ve Found “The One”

How To Take Your Relationship To The Next Level

Importance Of Confidence In RelationshipsImportance Of Trust In A Relationship

Key Ingredients of a Happy and Healthy Relationship

Needy Girls Are Daddy Dom Bait

Relationship Advice To Follow, And What To Ignore

Searching for a D/s partner?

Self-Fulfilling Prophecies In Relationships

Stop Arguments Before They Start

The Rewards of a Submissive

Types Of Relationship Insecurity

Well-Balanced Power Exchange Relationship

What Is Real Love?

When He Doesn’t Call

Why Love Makes A Night Of Kink Even Better

Safety

Another life ruined because of the morality police

Bondage Basic Safety: Crops, Paddles & Bondage!

Kinks, Risks, How To And Why Sometimes You Shouldn’t

Limits in BDSM

What is Emotional Abuse?

Self Improvement

10 Tips for Creating a Happier Life

10 Steps To Self Care

10 Ways To Be Happy

10 Truths To Live By

Guaranteed Ways To Be More Attractive

How to be Yourself

How To Deal With Your Enemies

How To Ignore Haters

How to Recognize a Toxic Friend

How to Stop Being a People Pleaser

Slut Shaming Explained

Tips for Healing a Broken Heart

What are the Signs of a Jealous Friend?

Sex

50 Cunnilingus Tips from Women

Basics of Breath Play

D/s or Kinky Sex?

Fetishes Explained

How To Make A Girl Squirt

How To Tell Your Son About Sex

Intersection of BDSM and Queer Heterosexuality

Sensual Biting

Sex: Myths & Stereotypes

Sex: Practical Details

Sex: Pregnancy and Birth Control

So You Want To Try Anal? A Practical Guide For Women

Squirting Educational Video

Squirting Notes

Toys

Advice on Dildos and Buttplugs

BDSM on a budget

Bondage Rope: How To Choose Yours (And More)

Training

10 Considerations for Inexperienced Subs

30 Things You Can Do For Your Human Kitten

40 Very Important DD/lg Facts

Age Play: A Short Guide

BDSM for Beginners: Safe and Affordable Play

DEFINED: SSC (Safe, Sane & Consensual) & RACK (Risk Aware Consensual Kink)

Etiquette in BDSM Part 1

Etiquette in BDSM Part 2

Exploring the D/s Lifestyle: Part 1 - Beginnings

Exploring the D/s Lifestyle: Part 2 - The Dominant Mind

Glossary of BDSM Terms

Guide To Blood Play

Guide To Bruising

Guide To Talking Dirty

Guide To Wax Play

How Do I Get Started In BDSM?

How to Make a Blanket Fort/Cuddle Nest

How To Make A Comfort Box

Introduction To BDSM

Newbie’s Guide To Vaginal Fisting

Punishments in BDSM Relationships

Red Flags For Online BDSM Relationships

Some Thoughts On Rules

The Leash Has Two Ends - Responsibility

The Need For Rules and Discipline

Topping from the bottom

Reblogging so I can come back to this.

A lot of good info here

Two very different reasons for crying after sex. Because sometimes life is full of horny stories, and other times it isn't.

This post really resonates. I’m also a sex blogger. I review sex toys, so you wouldn’t think orgasms would be a problem for me, but they are. I struggle w/depression, and even though it’s undiagnosed, it’s depression all the same. I may not take medication or see a therapist, but it’s depression all the same. My anxiety is a recent development. I didn’t experience anxiety until this year. Again, it’s undiagnosed, but I’m always waiting for something bad to happen. I’m a rule follower, but I’m always worried that I’m about to be in trouble. I’m always waiting for the other shoe to drop. My depression and anxiety mess w/my libido.

I have a sex drive, but it’s been pretty weak for too long. I almost never feel horny spontaneously. It often takes watching pornography to turn me on. I almost never initiate sex w/my fiance. When he tries to initiate sex, he often gives up immediately when he sees that I’m not interested right away. I’ve promised him that I’ll try harder because it’s only after we start having sex that I become interested.

Sex often takes too long because I can’t reach orgasm. He lasts forever to give me a chance, and it might even feel really good, but it just isn’t going to happen a lot of the time. I dry up and start to chafe. My body doesn’t respond how I want it to. I feel betrayed by my body, and I eventually give up. I feel emotionally disconnected from my fiance, and I cry out of frustration and loneliness.

Other times, being able to have an orgasm is such a relief that I cry out of happiness.

#orgasms #the feels

You didn’t even try. Come on, dude. I blew you for like 20 minutes, and you gave my clit little more than a cursory graze with your hand. I’m not even convinced you’re aware women can have orgasms, ’cause surely, if you knew that, you’d’ve made at least some minimal effort to give me one. Consent …

I feel so much of this post by Kate Sloan. I love cunnilingus, and I'm more likely to get off if it's part of sex. For me, the keys are listening, consistency, and time.

#sexual communication #cunnilingus

Update #1: Inquisitive Clam’s Sex Toy Jar of Horrors.

I recently received a question from gramireus asking for an update on my sex toy jar of horrors experiment. I admit that I’ve neglected my blog and haven’t made my online presence known much this year. I haven’t posted a new review in over a year, and my progress when it comes to my sex blogger resolutions from 2015 is absolutely abysmal. However, I want to be clear that I haven’t given up on Sex Toy Reviews for Experimental Fuckers. I’m working on a new review that I hope to publish in the upcoming weeks, and I will strive to return to posting at least one new review each month after that.

I originally intended to post monthly sex toy jar of horrors updates here on Tumblr. However, I didn’t anticipate changes taking place inside my jar so slowly. Instead, I’ve had to adjust my expectations and may be able to post updates only two or three times a year at most. I created my sex toy jar of horrors in January 2015, and I do have some interesting and disgusting changes taking place to show for my first - and long overdue - update.

First, here are photos of my jar from all four sides.

You can see some residue on the inside of the jar as well as some kind of coating on the Trojan vibrator. There’s also some severe discoloration of the Doc Johnson vibrating anal beads. Let’s take a closer look.

That brown toy used to be purple jelly! It has now lost all of its color. I definitely wouldn’t trust any toy that’s made of Sil-A-Gel. The orange butt plug is also made by Doc Johnson and contains Sil-A-Gel. However, I don’t see any changes happening with that toy yet. I also don’t see any changes with the Nasstoys red dildo or the purple X-10 Anal Beads yet.

Some of these toxic toys have started to melt and fuse together. Check out the Seven Creations realistic dildo, the Adam & Eve stretchy cock ring, and the Sqweel tongues.

Pretty gross, isn’t it? You can see that those three toys are connected, but when I upset the jar, what I saw was even more scary.

The realistic dildo is physically melted.

The Sqweel tongue that was attached to the realistic dildo is deteriorating. I’m glad Lovehoney made the tongues silicone on the Sqweel 2.

Almost the entire ring part of the stretchy cock ring is completely gone.

I would say that the cock ring is the worst offender so far, and I’ll show you why I think so.

The goo! Look at the right side of the above photo near the bottom of my jar. It’s the stuff of nightmares.

Goo...

Goo!

GOO! It’s slimy and oily and looks like snot. It runs down the side of the jar as I turn it and leaves a snail trail behind it.

You absolutely do not want toxic sex toys like these anywhere near the sensitive skin and pH balance of your genitals. They can cause chemical burns, rashes, and other allergic reactions.

This experiment is meant to be educational, and I hope to save at least a few people from the consequences of buying cheap, toxic sex toys. I really bought all of the sex toys I put in my jar back when I didn’t know better or didn’t take seriously the risks of using toys that aren’t body safe.

It’s worth your health to do some research, read reviews, and buy toys made of body safe materials like silicone, glass, metals like stainless steel and aluminium, hard ABS plastic, finished wood and ceramic, and stone from reputable manufacturers and trusted retailers. Avoid materials like PVC, TPR and TPE, and jelly. I cannot stress enough that Lilly’s jar filled with silicone sex toys did not behave this way.

If you still have questions about toxic sex toys, reach out to a sex blogger via e-mail or their social media channels. Any reputable sex blogger will be happy to answer your questions, and there are no stupid questions when it comes to your sexual health.

#sex toy jar of horrors #Lovehoney #Doc Johnson #Adam & Eve #Trojan #Nasstoys #Seven Creations #sex blogger resolutions 2015 #jelly #ABS #PVC #Sil-A-Gel #TPR #update

any updates from the sex toy jar of horrors?

Thanks for your question!

I’ve really neglected my blog this year, and I’m not proud of the fact that I haven’t posted a new review in over a year. However, I haven’t given up. My blog isn’t dead, and I’m happy to be able to tell you that I’m working on a new review that I hope to post in the month of October.

I also haven’t posted any updates about my sex toy jar of horrors, even though I originally intended to post monthly updates here on Tumblr. I’ve determined that changes take place inside my jar too slowly for monthly updates. However, I will make an effort to post an update with photos soon.

I genuinely appreciate that you’re interested and following along with my jar of horrors experiment. You can expect an update in the coming weeks.

#sex toy jar of horrors #question #answer

HedoVibes Review Roundup #109.

HedoVibes Review Roundup #109.

Photo courtesy of FriskyGirl Welcome to HedoVibes, a collection of reviews and giveaways that were posted in the past week or so from around the web. This is a collection of adult product reviews & contests from real reviewers. If you want to be included in the next edition start with the guidelines, then use the submission form. Want to read more reviews? Check out HedoVibes for a list of the…

View on Sex Toy Reviews for Experimental Fuckers

My Lovehoney Happy Rabbit G-Spot and Realistic Rabbit Vibrators review.

#Lovehoney #rabbit vibrators #rechargeable #waterproof #silicone #ABS plastic #review #sex toys #Sex Toy Reviews for Experimental Fuckers

TMI Tuesday: July 21, 2015.

1. When was the last time someone you were talking to crossed the boundary into TMI? How did you handle it?

Probably at work. People talk at work too much about their personal lives, in my opinion. They talk about their paychecks and bills and relationships, and I prefer to keep my personal life private and my work life separate from my home life. I usually just listen and nod but don’t contribute to the conversation and hope they’ll shut up soon.

2. When was the last time you were talking and realized you had crossed into TMI? How did the other person react? What did you do next?

I don’t feel like I tend to give people TMI very often. I lean on my mom, but there really isn’t anything that’s TMI between us.

3. Which subject matter is mostly TMI to you, i.e. you don’t want to hear?

a. sex

b. medical treatment or history

c. bodily functions

d. icky food

e. finances (I don’t think that anyone’s financial situation is anybody else’s business.)

f. political opinions (Sharing political opinions often leads to arguing, which I’d rather just avoid.)

g. other - tell us

4. Do you ever entice people into TMI, such as try to get them to share something that should be private?

Nah. I’m not interested enough in other people’s secrets. I just do me and don’t worry about other people. I have my hands full enough with my own life.

5. Do you enjoy swapping TMI tales - “I’ll tell you mine if you tell me yours?”

Nah. Again, I’m not interested enough. Plus, my life isn’t so interesting that I have a great many secrets.

BONUS: How do you feel about Pope Francis embracing “climate change” climate science?

I think it’s great, and because the Pope is a scientist, I hope he can bring more people around to the reality of the situation.

If you’d like to participate in TMI Tuesday, the questions are generally posted on the Monday before. For example, today’s questions were available yesterday.

TMI Tuesday: July 7, 2015.

1. Do you believe in ESP (extrasensory perception)? Do you have those abilities?

I wouldn’t say I don’t believe in ESP. It’s not an ability I possess, but I can’t say it doesn’t exist. The capacity and capabilities of the human brain are as awe-inspiring as the universe.

2. Do you laugh when someone tickles you?

Of course.

3. Do you like teamwork?

I guess. I try to get along with everyone, and I think I’m easy to get along with, but working being part of a team isn’t always easy. I remember not enjoying group projects in school because one or two people tended to do the majority of the work that the whole group then took credit for.

4. What one thing can you do today to feel you have been productive? Will you do it?

I’ve been trying to clean out my e-mail for a long time, and I just keep getting buried. If I get these TMI Tuesdays posted today, I’ll feel like I accomplished something.

5. Finish this phrase: “Hell hath no fury like...”

...my cunt of a niece.

BONUS: Pick one - Sex:

a. wild or mild

b. day or night (I like having sex if one of us wakes up in the middle of the night because we can go back to sleep afterward.)

c. top or bottom

d. weekly or monthly (I’d like sex to occur more weekly, but my fiance is recovering from an injury, so we’re having sex more on a monthly basis right now.)

e. noisy or silent (We live with his mother, so it’s nice when we get the chance to let go.)

If you’d like to participate in TMI Tuesday, the questions are generally posted on the Monday before. For example, today’s questions were available yesterday.

TMI Tuesday: June 23, 2015.

1. What would you eat for your "last supper?”

Something chocolate

2. Name 3 interesting and unique things to do in your town/city/region.

Well, I live very close to Centralia, Pennsylvania, which is called Pennsylvania’s lost town because there’s a mine fire burning under the ground that’s been burning for years and will continue to burn for years. Almost nobody lives there now. It would be a great place for a photographer to visit. We also have Knoebels, the country’s largest free-admission amusement park. We also have the Pennsylvania Renaissance Faire. My fiance and I try to attend every year in October for our anniversary.

3. Tell us 2 things that terrify you.

Spiders and teenage girls

4. Give us your best sex tip.

Be present and mindful.

5. What do you have that you need to throw away?

Oh, wow. Well, I could definitely get rid of clothes that don’t fit me. Maybe I wouldn’t throw them away, but I could banish them from my dresser. It wouldn’t kill me to do some spring cleaning. A bit late for that, I think. I have all kinds of paperwork that I need to either file or destroy.

BONUS: Would you participate in a sex organ beauty pageant? Why or why not?

Nah. Even though I know better, I’d probably be comparing myself to everyone else, and comparing myself to others tends to yield a negative result. Plus, there’s no skill or talent involved in a sex organ beauty pageant. I’d rather be known for something I can do rather than just for being the way I am.

If you’d like to participate in TMI Tuesday, the questions are generally posted on the Monday before. For example, today’s questions were available yesterday.

TMI Tuesday: June 9, 2015.

1. Have you ever had an orgasm at work? How? Tell us the circumstances.

I’ve had orgasms in random places, including work, before from having to pee really bad. It doesn’t always happen every time I have to pee, and it doesn’t seem like it’s something I have control over. Maybe it’s something I could practice.

2. Do you ever fantasize about your significant other while you are at work?

I think about my fiance while I’m at work, but I wouldn’t say that I fantasize about him in a sexual way when I’m at work.

3. How old was the oldest person with whom you’ve had sex.

He’s 37 years old, and I’m 31.

4. Have you ever fallen asleep during sex?

No, I’ve never fallen asleep during sex. I have, however, fallen asleep immediately after sex while still holding a wine glass.

5. Have you ever cross-dressed or worn undergarments of the opposite sex?

Actually, I have worn my fiance’s boxer briefs to work before. I was getting some really tender skin in that crease at the top of my thighs from sweating, and it was hurting when my sensitive skin rubbed against itself or my jeans, so I wore his boxer briefs to work to cover the raw skin until it stopped hurting.

BONUS: You have the power to banish one person from the earth, who would you banish?

I’d probably banish someone so that it would impact my life in a positive way. I’d likely pick someone I don’t get along with like my future sister-in-law or my future niece because they’re both bitches. My future sister-in-law only thinks of herself, and my future niece is only 13, but she’s still the most ignorant, spiteful kid I’ve ever met.

If you’d like to participate in TMI Tuesday, the questions are generally posted on the Monday before. For example, today’s questions were available yesterday.

TMI Tuesday: May 26, 2015.

1. Which of the following best describes your view of sex?

a. Ritual

b. Game

c. Performance

d. Adventure

e. Other: I’ve been having trouble reaching orgasm lately, and it upsets me when I can’t find a way to get there. I’ve had an orgasm once out of the last five times we’ve had sex, and I worry that my fiance is disappointed when I don’t have an orgasm, and I don’t want him to think that he’s inadequate. Sex has become a chore, and I sometimes dread it or avoid it.

2. What is your view of spontaneous vs. planned sex?

a. Spontaneous is always better.

b. Spontaneous sex seems rushed to me. I prefer a little warning to prepare mentally and/or physically.

c. I enjoy the anticipation before planned sex.

d. In my life circumstances, planning is required.

3. At the beginning of sex, what is your most immediate worry?

a. It will take too long.

b. It will be over too soon.

c. You will be interrupted.

d. You will fail to please your partner.

e. Your partner will fail to please you.

f. Something will cause pain.

g. There is going to be a discussion/argument about something.

4. At the beginning of sex, what happy result are you looking forward to most?

a. Pure physical pleasure and orgasm.

b. Pure emotional pleasure at being intimate with your partner.

c. Pleasing your partner.

d. A feeling of closeness to your partner afterward.

e. Not being so horny afterward.

5. After sex, how long until you start looking forward to the next time?

I don’t usually want sex again right away, but I’ll be thinking about it the next day.

BONUS: Your ideal date would be

a. Pizza and a movie

b. Hot dog and a ball game

c. Picnic and a bike ride

d. Candlelight dinner

If you’d like to participate in TMI Tuesday, the questions are generally posted on the Monday before. For example, today’s questions were available yesterday.

TMI Tuesday: May 19, 2015.

1. What three things do you expect from a relationship with a lover/spouse?

I couldn’t be satisfied in a romantic relationship without honesty, emotional support, and physical affection.

2. What three things do you expect from a relationship with your child?

I hope my child is curious and open-minded, trusts me, and is motivated to be the best person they can be.

3. How do you mend a broken heart?

I mend a broken heart with time. That’s the only thing that I’ve found that makes the pain dwindle and eventually go away. Close friends who are emotionally supportive and ice cream never hurt either.

4. What is your favorite therapy (remedial treatment of mental or bodily disorder)?

I keep a journal, and getting my feelings down on paper helps me deal with them.

5. Who in your life has an annoying habit? How do you deal with this?

I have a co-worker who overshares on Facebook, so I never accepted her friend request.

6. In five words, describe yourself. You cannot use the following words: funny, fun, nice, kind, responsible.

I’m smart, friendly, loyal, introverted, and honest.

BONUS: If in a long time, romantic relationship do you still flirt? How do you flirt with your significant other?

I don’t think I ever learned how to flirt and probably wouldn’t recognize it if he was trying to flirt with me. We stay connected in other ways. We hold hands as we fall asleep every night, and we try to have a date night every once in a while.

If you’d like to participate in TMI Tuesday, the questions are generally posted on the Monday before. For example, today’s questions were available yesterday.

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