Welcome To The Insane Little Brunette’s Blog

Hey. Don’t rush it.

[insanelittlebrunette]

AND THIS IS HOW YOU BECOME SMARTER DUH — Insane Little Brunette

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Teach your own damn self. Blow your own damn mind.

MAKE YOUTUBE VIDEOS.

Neatly annotate all your to-be-published writing. I know you write a lot and it’s everywhere but organise it all. It will literally be like breathing again - organising. It has that power.

DAYDREAM AND BLOG, YOU BEAUTIFUL CREATURE.

Creative writing, yeahhhh baby.

If you attend school or university, show up READY to class so you have a very good idea of what is going on. You will literally feel lit. We become bored and uncomfortable when situations are unfamiliar.

CARRY A LANGUAGE—LEARNING BOOK WHEREVER YOU GO. It’s one of the coolest things ever.

KEEP YOUR BRAIN GOING AND FIGHT YOUR WAY OUT OF THE MONOTONY IN YOUR LIFE.

Break your time into chunks and plan what you want to do and when.

DON’T GOSSIP YO!!!!!!!!!!

Give yourself homework.

CHALLENGE YOURSELF.

XOXO

INSANE LITTLE BRUNETTE.

[insanelittlebrunette]

GUIDE YOUR OWN DAMN SHIP ~~ Insane Little Brunette

*me shouting at myself*

You are not helpless.

I know all of that dreamy world seems far away, and not just in distance; you simply feel like maybe you won’t fit in there, you won’t belong there.

HELL NAH. You would understand me if you saw how much I wanted to be at a certain level in my life.

Yeah, I’m gonna get up and get that, okay?

It’s not like it’s impossible or something, It’s just that I’ve never tried.

HOW RIDICULOUS IS THAT?

Get it, girl. You got a functioning brain. You got a functioning body. Go get it. DUH.

And if you still don’t go after it, that’s your own dumb fault. Nobody got time to listen you whine about that.

XOXO

INSANE LITTLE BRUNETTE.

[insanelittlebrunette]

DAY 13 of 240 - FLEXIBLE

It is pretty cold outside and classes reopen tomorrow and I don’t want to show up with a cold the first day of class ahah.

I like how I’m being flexible with myself.

So, I went to a place where people rarely go and I danced. I danced to French and Polish songs.

I LOVE THE PRIVACY.

And I ran up and down one stair instead of a flight of stairs. I lost count of how much but I kept on running up and down. It felt good. And I think I prefer it to running up and down a flight of stairs. This one’s easier on my knees.

One day at a time.

XOXO

INSANE LITTLE BRUNETTE.

[insanelittlebrunette]

THE GENIUS ~~ Insane Little Brunette

No. No. No. no. No. No. No. no.

No.

She would not fall this time. She had fallen way way WAY too many times.

She had "stopped" along the way too many times.

She had given up too many times.

She had felt like she belonged somewhere else. Somewhere greater. Somewhere better. Way too many times.

Not this time. NOT THIS TIME.

The bells rang loud and clear and red in her ears. Through her mind. Through her soul. Through everything she was. Through everything she could become.  Through her essence. Through her purpose.

This time she would RECOGNISE. HELL, SHE WOULD FRICKIN TRAIN HERSELF TO RECOGNISE.

She would become a little hard on herself. SHE WANTED HERSELF TO BECOME A LITTLE HARD ON HERSELF.

WAY TOO MANY FRICKIN TIMES.

This time, she would find the place she belonged. She would CREATE AND MOULD AND CUT AND PERFECT HERSELF until she created a genius out of herself.

She was better, she was better, she was better, she was better, she was better, she was better, she was better, she was better, she was better, she was better. She was better, she was better, she was better, she was better, she was better.

She would honour the person her mind and soul so desperately wanted her to become. She was tired of questioning if these people deserved her. If that guy deserved her.

They didn't. He didn't.

Change, change, change, change, change, change, change, change, change, change.

XOXO

INSANE LITTLE BRUNETTE

[insanelittlebrunette]

DAY 12 OF 240

Remember that STUPID wind I spoke about yesterday??

Yeah, my nose is LITERALLY BLOCKED. So, I’m not gonna risk getting a full-blown cold.

BUT...

What I’m gonna do is I’m gonna find a quiet spot inside somewhere and dance, dance, dance.

And in the afternoon, I’ll go take a brisk walk around the running tracks.

XOXO

INSANE LITTLE BRUNETTE.

[insanelittlebrunette]

OMG SORRY

Sorry for not posting in 2 days!

No excuses. I’m sorry.

Here’s how they went -

Day 9:

Felt like my knees needed a small break. Showed up at the running tracks anyway, but the gates were closed. So, I walked, walked, and walked. Not giving up,

Day 10:

First day of March 2018!

University reopens this month so I am pretty hyped. A lot less free time but I’m going to be consistent with the running. We are not giving up this time.

Day 11:

TODAY! Friday, March 2.

THE WIND AAAAAGHHHHHH.

Ran lesser because of the wind. I don’t like getting sick due to the cold wind, so I always exercise caution.

After running, found a quiet spot and danced. Danced SO MUCH AHAHAHAHAHH.

XOXO

INSANE LITTLE BRUNETTE.

[insanelittlebrunette]

DAY 8 OF 240

Sorry, should have posted this yesterday!!!

Everything went well. I got up and I drank hot water with lemon. Ate 2 cookies.

And went running.

One day at a time.

XOXO

INSANE LITTLE BRUNETTE.

[insanelittlebrunette]

EVERYTHING WAS GOING TO BE ALRIGHT

WHAT A MORNING.

I am proud of myself!!!

So I had a minor problem at the bank today. Basically, there were some moments of uncertainty and there were moments of facing people and stating clearly what I wanted.

And during those moments, I told myself repeatedly to stay calm.

I told myself to follow one set pattern. I told myself not to get so overwhelmed where all I want to do is leave everything and run.

I told myself that this set pattern that I had to follow for the next hour was important. It would sort things out. It would bring me peace.

It would make things better.

To start the pattern, I had to be calm. And relaxed. And confident. The world was not crumbling. I had to keep my self control intact.

It was going to be fine. Everything was going to be perfectly fine.

XOXO

INSANE LITTLE BRUNETTE.

[insanelittlebrunette]

YOUR MIND IS FRICKIN’ BRILLIANT

It’s not that hard. You just need to pause and reevaluate a bit.

Don’t always trust the heart blindly. You’ve been through this a lot before and I don’t want to see you caught up in a place where you feel someone is holding you back or that you have to be less smarter than you are to accommodate someone.

No. Hold it. The person you are. Hold on to it tight. Don’t let all the sweetness cloud your mind.

You’re alive. And your mind is frickin brilliant.

Honour it. Sharpen it.

XOXO

INSANE LITTLE BRUNETTE.

[insanelittlebrunette]

TODAY, I AM WISER

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Today I’m not going to be insecure.

Today I’m going to smile.

Today I’m going to tell myself that it’s all actually okay.

Today I’m going to think long term.

Today I’m going to be true to myself and my relationships.

Today, I am wiser.

Today, I am stabler.

Today, I am going to wait, but I’m not going to put my life and my purpose on hold.

Today, I realise one thing.

Today, I learn to trust myself. I learn to trust the universe.

Thank you for what you do. I’ll forever be grateful.

XOXO

INSANE LITTLE BRUNETTE.

[insanelittlebrunette]

DAY 7 OF 240 - PERFECT

My nose felt absolutely alright.

I woke up and ran, ran, ran. I was dancing and running on the tracks and people were staring at me.

LOVED THE RUNNING. LOVED THE MUSIC.

One day at a time. Get up and slay.

XOXO

INSANE LITTLE BRUNETTE.

[insanelittlebrunette]

HE WOULD BE PROUD OF HER

She was studying at her table one fine evening when out of nowhere, the memory of one eye contact with a stranger about 10 years ago came to her.

She laughed and sighed. And realized how long it had been since she had gotten excited over somebody. Where were all these guys at anyway? Was she living under a cave or something? And more importantly, where was her “soulmate” at if indeed there existed such a thing.

She hoped it did.

And she switched off and went back to studying. He would come, she told herself. They would find each other. She would live her life and she would constantly improve and she impress herself and grow and learn and become an educated, stable and confident person.

The reason they had not met yet was because they were not ready.

She went back to work. She was going to put in all the work required and then some, to get ready. He would be proud of her.

XOXO

INSANE LITTLE BRUNETTE.

[insanelittlebrunette]

PRESS REPLAY, HUN

I am studying and I am not remembering anything.

I can give up, but that would literally mean I am a loser.

LMAO. Not happening.

I’ll watch that one video 10 times if I have to. But nothing’s stopping me.

Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.

Repeat until you master it. Repeat until you’re absolutely comfortable with it. Repeat until there’s no way you can get it wrong.

All good. You’re not stupid or something. Press that replay button.

XOXO

INSANE LITTLE BRUNETTE.

[insanelittlebrunette]

DAY 6 OF 240

25 Feb, 2018

Sunday

Got up. Nose blocked and the wind is cold outside.

I ran up and down the stairs again and again and again. Lost count. Did some dancing. Did some boxing.

I was tired. I was happy.

One day at a time.

XOXO

INSANE LITTLE BRUNETTE.

[insanelittlebrunette]

DO NOT HIDE YOUR BEAUTY

OMG YOU’RE NOT GOING TO BELIEVE WHAT JUST HAPPENED.

So, I was talking to a new friend and there came a point where I had to reply something crazy and intellectual which I wanted to but I feared it would turn the other person off.

But then I thought, this is who I really, really am. This crazy, obsessed, trying-to-be-talented person who can’t bear the fact that someone is more knowledgeable than me in some subject.

So I wrote what I thought. I gave it straight.

Odds are, this friend isn’t even going to last that long in my life. And if they really like me, I need to be the person I actually am instead of putting a mask on.

I put on a mask and I’ll always be suffocating beneath it. I have done that way too many times already and I couldn’t do it again.

It takes guts to be honest and open and vulnerable at times but knowing me, I would be hurting the whole day if I toned myself down and I’d spend the whole day telling myself,

“Why am I not brave enough?”

“Why can’t I just speak the truth?”

“Why do I have to be afraid of presenting myself as I am?”

Nope. Not happening. I got stuff to do.

Get it out. Get over it. And make things happen today.

XOXO

INSANE LITTLE BRUNETTE.

[insanelittlebrunette]

YEAH I KNOW IT’S MESSY

Everything is messy. Your room is messy. Your table is messy. Your books are lying in a messy pile on your bed. You don’t have any track of what you’re studying or doing. You’re just randomly diving in with eyes closed.

One, clear your table. Do it and then we’ll continue.

Good. Table looks lovely with laptop, box of tissues, highlighter pens, color pencils and one book.

Two, moisturize your hands. They dry af. Use body lotion or hand cream.

Better.

Three, brush your hair and tie it back neatly. It’s falling all over your face.

(And if a few strands of hair fall on the floor, PICK IT UP and trash it. Floor should be very clean.)

Perfect.

Four, a water bottle should be ready on the table as you work. Sip some water now and then.

Nice.

You’re all set. Turn on educational videos on the laptop and start learning. 24 February 2018 is going to be a good day.

XOXO

INSANE LITTLE BRUNETTE.

[insanelittlebrunette]

DAY 5 of 240 - Still Slayin’

24 February, 2018

I kinda realised how many excuses one can actually make up.

I woke up today and realised I didn’t have any running pants and they were all in the laundry.

And I was also sleepy, let’s not forget that lol.

But anyway, I knew I started this and I didn’t want to give up so I wore jeans and went out AHAHAHHAHAH.

Uncomfortable AF, but whatever. They weren’t tight, so we good.

Not givin’ up, Baby. Not givin’ up.

XOXO

INSANE LITTLE BRUNETTE.