Ough

19. She/her. 18+

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I made some edits of the official height chart art of Dexter, Captain, Shotgun Man, and Garcia where they’re naked, first as a way to better understand their anatomy and body shape, but I also made versions with their genitalia on show, and I wanna share it but I’m unsure if that’s okay since it’s edited official art

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(Insert joke about clowns and cream-pies)

(Warning for nsfw content below 🔞)

Messed up on the anatomy a bit, but still pretty proud of this!

Might digitally go over it someday

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Made a lil something with my Shotgun Man design

(Warning for nsfw content below 🔞)

What a naughty boy

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Happy Valentine’s Day folks!

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Finally I have created true art.

(Full images down below, technically no bits are showing and this is mainly a shitpost, but still, nudity)

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I am here to state the facts the people are afraid to say.

We need Mr. Clown Rule 34

I can’t find any, there is some for Garcia when he’s not in clown form, but like only two, we need more.

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Nsfw alphabet meme- Darcy Smiller (Sp00ky M0nth/Smutty Month oc)

🔞⚠️Do not read or interact if under 18⚠️🔞

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

It’s depending on how she’s feeling that day (and the circumstances to what led to the sex), will always help with aftercare and cleaning a partner up (although she wouldn’t immediately, she would love to stare at them after the deed is done, looking at them disheveled would be quite enjoyable, and helps stroke her ego).

Once clean-up is done however she’ll either act like nothing just happened and go back to business as usual (besides asking multiple times if they’re alright), or be really clingy and cuddly.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Has a lot of parts she likes, her left arm, her eyes (especially the right one), her hair, as for sexual parts she’d be very proud of her ass (due to its largeness) and penis (about average size) it fills her with great joy to wake up in the morning, look down in between her legs, and see that it’s there.

Her favorite parts on her partner would be their eyes (as she would say “they are the windows to the soul!”), their smile (would a smile count as a body part?), and the belly/love handles, she would love to have a partner with a bit of chubbiness on them, if they don’t however, that’s fine, a slim body helps display a distended gut filled with food a lot better then a chubby one (she’d only stuff a partner and mess with their figure with permission of course!)

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Probably most of the time she wouldn’t like the taste or texture, but will always swallow, because “spitters are quitters”.

Loves how it’s looks though, especially when it comes out of someone, even loves how it looks coming out of herself.

Often fantasies of one day being able to produce so much that it would fill whoever she’d be having sex with to the point their gut would protrude (obviously that’s unrealistic but she can still dream).

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Has a lot, very ashamed of all her fetishes and horny-ness (definitely suffers from religious guilt, she grew up with a very strong Christian background), would be very afraid of her secrets getting out.

The ones that cause her the most shame are:

That time someone she loved from her past accidentally left their sweater behind at her house after hanging out, she told them about it but they said she could keep it, she would sniff it a lot before eventually breaking and masturbating while smelling it, still to this day she owns it and has never washed it, but doesn’t masturbate to it as much anymore.

Her blood kink and sadism, would never cause harm without permission of course, but still hates the idea of hurting others, regardless it fills her with pleasure (not always inherently sexual) to see someone she’s interested in dealing with physical pain and/or bleeding (not always however, like if it’s something serious she wouldn’t get any enjoyment). Even if she did find a partner who was masochistic it would take her a long while before she actually directly causes any injuries.

And her own masochism, she feels very ashamed about how much she enjoys pain.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

A virgin (at least by the time writing this) so no experience, absolutely doesn’t know what she’s doing.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Favorite positions would be:

Pillow Pump (where both participants have their knees on the ground, the bottom is leaning against a soft cornered surface like a bed, and the top is leaning/pressed against them from behind) because she would love being close, either pinning her partner down from behind (especially if she gets to wrap her arms around them) or being pinned down against something herself from behind.

Spooning, again because she loves being close and getting to wrap her arms around her partner if she’s the one behind, and laying against something (preferably a bed) is comfy.

And Face Sitting, preferably if she’s on the bottom though, being pinned down with her face under her partner’s ass, not being able to get fresh oxygen, huffing their natural sent, and being completely at their mercy is really arousing.

Unfortunately with these positions it’d be rather difficult to look her partner in the face and kiss them (which is a bit of a shame) but at the same time she gets embarrassed and self-conscious when being looked at in the face for too long.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Depending on the situation, but often she wouldn’t be too serious, she likes to be silly (occasionally likes to make quips and pretend to be overly confident for comedic affect).

Deep down she’d be really nervous to show a more serious and passionate side, however if she’s really into whatever is going on she’ll forget about that and be more serious and passionate.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Pretty hairy, has a full bush down there, but will be sure to ask her partner if they want her to be clean shaven before sex.

The carpet and the drapes match in color, but not texture (I think it’s referred to as texture?), head hair is very silky, bouncy, and somewhat wavy, while crotch hair is a bit rough and very curly.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Again it’s very dependent on the situation, like I said she would be nervous to share her more tender side, unless she really trusts her partner or is really into what’s going on, so often she’ll try not to take herself to seriously.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

When it comes to beating her meat, she likes it rough and fast, especially loves gripping the head and balls, really hard, to the point where it’s painful, the pain just makes it more enjoyable.

Doesn’t often look at porn while jerking off, it feels awkward, and it’s difficult to get off on watching people she’s not into, she doesn’t find most people in porn appealing. Usually prefers to just use her imagination.

Masturbates a lot, and usually in the shower.

Doesn’t have much practice in anal stuff, has tried fucking herself with a dildo a few times, and enjoys it, but has never done it for too long, she pulls it in and out a few times before getting overwhelmed due to how sensitive her anus is, then just sort of leaves it in while she beats her meat.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Many. She has many kinks.

Although she’d be really nervous to share and practice them with others.

She’s mainly a masochist, and sadist, loves all kinds of pain play (mainly upon herself), impact play (whether it’s smacking, or punching, or flogging/whipping), knife play (maybe), blood play, wound fucking, wax play, cigarette burning, teeth pulling (her gums are really sensitive), cock and ball torture, biting/marking, breath play (whether it’s through strangulation, or face sitting, or face fucking/oral), stuffing/feederism, cum inflation, belly bulges, belly kink, piss play (wether it’s wetting pants, or golden shower, bladder control, or being peed in), ovipostion, scent kink, exhibitionism, embarrassment, praise, degradation, kissing, cock warming, and a tiny bit of objectophilia (blenders are really sexy).

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Any place that isn’t too public is fine, usually prefers a location with a soft surface to lay upon, so preferably a bedroom.

But she often fantasizes about doing such things in the shower and in Captain and Shotgun’s cop car (she really wants to take up Captain’s offer on riding Shotgun someday, as in Shotgun riding in the front seat, while she rides him, while Captain sits in the driver seat and watches).

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Her kinks, especially her masochism, sadism, and blood kink.

Also being flirted with/excessively praised, being kissed, and cuddling (she is very touch starved).

She especially is turned on by people she’s into being turned on, if someone she really likes is turned on then it’s guaranteed she’s turned on.

Oh and if she sees someone she’s interested in has a happy trail, oh boy.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

The obvious immoral things, things involving limb amputation, feces, diaper play, rape, zoophilia, necrophilia, incest, and age play/underage stuff.

As for non immoral things, being called mommy or daddy, or calling someone mommy or daddy, also doesn’t like pet play, she doesn’t have anything against it and she doesn’t see it as wrong, but she couldn’t do it herself, makes her too uncomfortable.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Enjoys both giving and receiving, doesn’t have a preference, although she’s not very skilled due to not having experience, she’s a trooper however and will keep going till her partner is pleased, gags a lot (she finds it enjoyable due to the oxygen deprivation, up until she feels like she might vomit, then it’s not so fun).

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

If she’s on top she prefers to go fast and rough, “jack hammering” as she calls it, but if her partner wants her to be slow she will (it’s a bit difficult though).

If she’s on bottom she’ll want it to go slow and sensual (her hole is very sensitive) but eventually with more practice she’d like it to go into “jack hammer” mode.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Is fine with it, would prefer to go all out when it comes to sex, but sometimes you don’t have time for that and she understands, thankfully she’s pretty good at going fast.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Willing to experiment, if it makes her partner happy then she’ll for sure try it, however when it comes to risks (I assume risks mean risks of getting caught, like in public) she might try it, but only in a place where she’s sure no kids or strangers would go.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Depending on what’s happening, can last in between 3 minutes to 10 minutes.

However will go multiple rounds if she can, she’ll keep going till she gets absolutely exhausted (so often around 6 to 10 rounds).

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Has a handful of toys, a few flesh lights (although usually she just prefers to beat her meat using her hands), a few dildos (on the short, but somewhat wide end), some nipple clamps, a novelty breast clamp tray (bought it mostly as a joke), a bondage belt (mainly for fashion purposes), a handful of prince albert jewelry piercings, and a few small butt plugs.

She uses them on herself, but would love to try them on a partner.

Sometimes she keeps a butt plug in herself while doing mundane activities.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Doesn’t like teasing/making others beg.

She herself wouldn’t like being forced to beg, but being teased a little bit wouldn’t be so bad (verbally, at least).

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

While topping most of the time she’d be mostly quiet, definitely whimpers though, if she’s feeling more talkative she’ll use a lot of dirty talk and/or praise.

While bottoming she’d be very noisy and loud (like I said her hole is very sensitive), she’d try to keep quiet, but would fail miserably, lots of whimpering, moaning, and groaning.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

I’ll list a few:

She’s probably part of the Ace/Aro spectrum, like I said she doesn’t find most people appealing, throughout her whole life there have been very few people she’s found attractive, usually needs to know the person in order to have sexual feelings towards them, and that’s not that many people.

Wants to find someone who truly loves and accepts her, and that she truly loves back, someone she can have a true relationship with, someone she can be submissive with, someone she can be romantic with, but not sure if she can feel true romantic feelings.

She prefers to be the dominant one and top, but does deeply desire to be the submissive one and bottom, but it has to be with someone she really trusts.

May not like porn but does somewhat enjoy hentai, not inherently sexually though.

Wants to get nipple piercings and a tongue piercing someday.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Her body is somewhat chubby, a bit of a belly, has a naturally wide build, somewhat muscular, thick thighs, even thicker ass, chest is rather flat though (a-cup), has a lot of stretch marks, has a lot of scars (some from her clumsiness, some from her purposeful doing, and some from… more unfortunate things) as already mentioned she’s rather hairy, her penis is average size, 5 inches, circumcised, is thick, but not super thick, no wrinkles, sack is rounded and of average size, has a prince albert piercing, like stated previously she owns many jewelry piercings, but the one she wears most often is a silver ring with a round black onyx gemstone on it.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Very high, very needy, but is too nervous to ask anyone she’s interested in, would be scared of making them uncomfortable and/or ruining their friendship, would be even more scared of others finding out her kinks, would also be scared of anyone seeing her naked (as they would see her scars) and getting scared off (doesn’t help that in order to have sex you usually have to get naked).

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Depending on the situation, and who she’s doing it with, if she doesn’t have anything else she has to do that day and she’s with someone she trusts then she’ll pass out pretty quickly.

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Smutty Month fanfic:

Scarlet billows, starts to spread

🔞⚠️Do not read or interact if under 18⚠️🔞

It was an ordinary day at town hall just like any other, Garcia was filling out very important paperwork for Mayor Evermore, pleasantly humming to himself, never one to complain about Evermore’s demanding orders and specifications, perhaps that’s why the mayor had entrusted him to be his personal assistant, lawyer, secretary, and receptionist.

Soon enough one of the front double doors to the lobby had opened, as a familiar coroner strolled in, Garcia lifted his head with a smile on his face and a wave, Darcy returned the gesture with a smile and wave of her own,

“Greetings Garcia! My apologies for interrupting your work, but Evermore called me and said he wanted to discuss some important business matters in his office sometime today, I have some free time so I thought it’d be okay if I came in at this time, is he here?”

Garcia’s smile faltered as he shook his head

Darcy’s smile had faltered aswell as her posture shrunk,

“A-ah, darn. W- … well will he be back soon?”

Garcia nodded

Darcy nervously fiddled with the strap of her purse,

“Ah, well, may I sit here and wait for him?”

Garcia’s welcoming smile returned as he nodded

Darcy visibly relaxed, but only by a little, as she responded,

“Alright, thank you.”

Noticing her skittishness Garcia reached for the candy bowl full of lollipops on his desk and held it out to her

Darcy perked up and her smile returned,

“Oh! Th-thank you!”

She carefully dug through the bowl before she settled on one she liked, blue raspberry, Garcia returned the bowl to the desk as Darcy turned and walked over to take a seat, she mumbled to herself,

“blue candy is my favorite.”

Garcia watched as Darcy plopped herself in the seat and tore off the wrapper before stuffing said wrapper in her pocket and stuffing the lollipop in her mouth, Garcia was satisfied that she seemed satisfied and returned his focus back to his paperwork.

Minutes had passed by as Darcy bounced her leg and looked around the room, gaze occasionally lingering on Garcia before she took the sucker out of her mouth and started up again,

“Is it okay if I talk? I- don’t wanna distract you, so I understand if you don’t want me to talk but….”

Garcia watched as she trailed off and once again started fiddling with the strap of her purse, he put a hand up to grab her attention, before rotating said hand to signal she could continue, Darcy grinned,

“Good, good, okay, so- something really messed up I realized is, get this, there are tons of red foods, orange foods, yellow foods, green foods, even pink and purple foods, but hardly any blue foods! I mean- besides candies and artificially colored stuff, but- just think about all the vegetables, fruits, and meats, there’s no blue! And blueberries are more purple then blue, and that’s crazy when you think about it!”

As Darcy rattled on Garcia continued with his paperwork, smile staying present on his face, amused by her energy and enthusiasm, even when talking about something mundane she managed to be greatly entertaining, it made for some good background noise. And so it went on like this for awhile, Garcia filing paper work with Darcy talking and excitedly flapping her hands and occasionally gesturing to express her words better,

“-And that’s how The Beatles is connected to Domino’s Pizza! Pretty interesting stuff! So any-…..”

Darcy cut herself off, the sudden silence felt deafening, Garcia raised his head up in a mixture of concern and confusion, looking at Darcy, still seated in the corner of the room, her teeth gripped on the lollipop stick which she had been gnawing on after she finished the candy, her face pale, well, paler than usual, her eyes unblinking and her gaze transfixed on Garcia, though not on his face, Garcia felt unnerved by this, it was very rare to see Darcy in such a state, occasionally she could be nervous or skittish, but this was different. Garcia looked down to see what her gaze was caught on.

Oh.

There upon Garcia’s yellow dress shirt was a dot of blood seeping through, slowly growing, a stitch must’ve tore open somehow, damn deputy managed to get a few lucky shots in again.

But that just raised more questions, was Darcy squeamish? But that didn’t make any sense, she was head coroner!

Eventually Darcy snapped out of her trance, closing her eyes and shaking her head,

“A-ah, uhm, s-s-sorry, sorry, I- you’re, uhm, b-bleeding, ah, are y-you okay? What ha- uh, happened?”

Garcia was unsure how to respond, he couldn’t possibly tell the truth, but he couldn’t begin to think up of a good enough lie, while he was thinking Darcy got up and strolled over, eyes once again locked on the growing bloodstain, hands opening the purse at her hip and pulling out a med kit from within, before finally halting in front of the desk and placing said kit on top,

“I… a-always carry one on me, never can be too careful… w-w-would you.. like some… aid?”

Her voice no longer sounded nervous, but instead sounded somewhat unfocused, or maybe too focused? After a bit of silence Darcy’s eyes finally broke contact with the blood and met Garcia’s eyes, she grabbed onto her arm, grip tight, Garcia swallowed, mouth dry, before hesitantly nodding, Darcy nodded in return, gaze wandering back to the stain once again, but only for a fleeting moment, hands clasped back upon the med kit,

“Alright. L-let’s go to the restroom then.”

Darcy turned, facing the right of the room, down the hall where the restroom was, med kit in hand, she marched down the hall taking the lead, quickly Garcia rose from his chair and stepped out from behind his desk, following Darcy. They made it to the restroom, Darcy holding open the door for Garcia and gesturing for him to go first, Garcia nodded as he headed in, Darcy followed and closed the door.

Garcia stood there, unsure of what to do next before Darcy instructed,

“Please undo your tie and shirt so I can access the wound.”

She placed the kit on one of the sinks, before opening it and putting on a pair of sterile latex gloves. Garcia hesitated for a moment, this was very strange, he didn’t know why he agreed to this, especially considering how Darcy was acting, almost as if she didn’t want to do this, but at the same time she did offer, but maybe that was out of politeness? Regardless it was happening, the wound needed to be re-sutured, and it was rather difficult to do by himself, so he undid his tie and unbuttoned his shirt, taking them off, neatly folding them, and placing them on another sink.

Darcy turned from the kit to face Garcia, staring at the bandages across his chest, she walked forward, her face still blank,

“I.. need to unwrap these. May I?”

Garcia nodded

Acknowledging this, Darcy rose her hands, slightly shaking, and placed them upon his chest, one hand on the metal clips holding the end of the bandage in place and the other hand on the center of his chest. She was so close Garcia could hear her heavy breathing, he could see a bead of sweat begin to form on her temple. She held herself like this for a bit, unmoving, before swallowing and speaking up,

“Please… forgive me.. It’s very rare that I get to work on a living subject… it’s completely different when it’s a living subject.”

Garcia was unsure of how he felt.

Ever so slowly, she slid the hand she had on the center of his chest close to the blood stain, before stopping just at the edge of it, so nearly touching it, but not quite, her face grew into a worried expression, she bit her bottom lip, suddenly she retracted her hand as if she had touched a hot stove, her eyes quickly moved along with her hand as she placed it on the edge of the bandage as she undid the clips with her other, carefully plucking them off and placing them on the sink they were closest to.

Darcy had begun to unwrap the bandages, circling around Garcia as she did so, he relaxed as this happened, lifting his arms up a bit so she could do it easier, he nearly chuckled to himself as he realized how silly this probably looked, almost like as if he was a living maypole, but then took a sharp inhale as the bandages peeled off of the wound, sticking a bit before coming way, Darcy responded,

“S-sorry.”

All the bandages were gone, Darcy collected them alongside the clips, walked over to the trash can, and dropped them in, before turning back to face Garcia, it was only then he realized how much of a bad idea this was. Darcy’s eyes widened, surveying the many scars across Garcia’s chest, old and new, opening and closing her mouth, likely trying to say something, but unable to find words, Garcia began to feel sweat drip down his face as he tried to think of something- anything to explain these scars.

Darcy walked back to Garcia, chewing on the inside of her cheek, she grabbed his bare sides, squeezing a bit, Garcia felt his face grow warm. Darcy placed a hand upon his chest again, and dragged her fingers across the bumps and ridges of old faded scars before once again stopping near the dried blood, as her fingers carefully rubbed at it Garcia noticed drool beginning to collect at the corner of her open mouth, he found it reminded him of a certain cannibal he used to work with, despite this he didn’t stop her as she scrapped some blood off with her gloved pointer finger, then held it in front of her face, she promptly gave it an experimental lick, before curling her tongue around it and then pushing it into her mouth, suckling, much like the lollipop she had earlier, she groaned.

Garcia’s mouth hung open, eyes wide, face still red.

It wasn’t until Darcy looked up from the slightly open wound, eyes lidded, to meet Garcia’s gaze that she realized what she was doing, eyes widening, quickly she pulled out her finger from her mouth, slick with saliva, and stumbled back,

“O-oh my god. Oh my god. What am I doing!? I am so- so sorry! Oh my god!”

Darcy spun on her heel, facing away from Garcia to hide the shame on her face, hands clasped tightly around each other, she continued muttering apologies.

Garcia stood there, shocked and dumbfounded, heart pounding in his chest, heat blossoming throughout his body. He slowly inhaled and exhaled to still his heart, then took a step forward and placed his hand on her shoulder, she stopped muttering and flinched, slowly she turned her head, fear across her face, Garcia gazed into her eyes, he gave a look, a look that expressed much more than words could ever possibly say.

Darcy relaxed, Garcia turned her around, gently took hold of her arm and placed her hand back upon his chest, Darcy’s face grew red,

“I- are you sure?”

Garcia gently nodded.

Darcy’s lips curled into a grin,

“Thank you.”

She put her other hand back on his side, but adverted her eyes from his face, and back to the still bleeding wound, nervous and embarrassed, but still clearly excited,

“I-I try not to indulge that often, and I’ve never done this with another being before… I only get excited towards living adult humans in case you were wondering, I promise I’m not a weirdo or a bad guy. Still, it’s rather embarrassing that I get like this. I feel ashamed about it, usually… I- I’m sorry, I’m rambling again, it’s just… I can’t believe I’m actually doing this with someone, not just blood stuff, but as in.. well you know.. intimacy, I-I’m sorry.”

Garcia placed his hand under her chin and lifted her head to look at him, her breath hitched and she squirmed under the touch, but then leaned into it, looking back into his eyes. He let go and she returned to the matter at hand,

“Thank you. But, I hope you know what you’re getting into.”

Her gloved hand slid up to the bleeding wound,

“This will hurt.”

She began to rub her thumb in a circular motion around the stitches, Garcia gasped, Darcy hesitated for a bit before continuing to mess with the wound, her other hand playing with his fat. The rubbing made the bleeding spread, a drip trickled down, Darcy leaned down, her breath hot and moist against Garcia’s stomach, goosebumps rose on his flesh, then she placed her tongue on, right below the blood drop, it collected upon her taste buds, her breath grew heavy. Ever so slowly she drug it upwards, then finally placed it against the wound, Garcia whined, he could feel Darcy place her lips against it in a gentle kiss, the corners of said lips curling into a mischievous grin, she began to flick her tongue against the stitches, running it over the uneven flesh, and collecting as much blood as possible, then circling around the edges. She placed her lips upon it once again, and then sucked, starting slowly with her mouth slightly open, before opening wider, effectively placing down a hickey, all while Garcia let out whimpers and breathy groans, his hips bucked, he had to move and lean against a sink for leverage, one hand placed upon the basin, and the other placed upon Darcy’s head, stroking the soft, silky, chocolate brown hair, encouraging her to continue.

Darcy pulled back with a pop, Garcia nearly frowned, until she placed her hand back upon it, now swollen and leaking more, he could feel it pulsate as more blood pumped through, it stung and throbbed strongly, it was heavenly. Darcy took in the sight in front of her, Garcia was panting, his face red, as well as the raised skin around the scar, delicious crimson dripping out, his nipples erect, she felt proud, her ego being stroked at the fact she was able to cause such a reaction from simply sucking on a wound, she thought to herself as she chuckled,

‘Wow. I’m good.’

She began to pinch, trying to get a hold of the loose stitch, purposely being clumsy to cause more pleasurable pain, trying to milk out as much of a reaction and those beautiful noises as she could. Eventually she found it and tugged, Garcia squeaked, Darcy turned to grab her scalpel, Garcia’s eyes widened, Darcy gently placed the tip of the blade against the stitches, blade facing upwards, she drew it upwards, each stitch tugged before breaking way. Garcia was a mess, he could feel his nether regions ache and get slick at the relentless attack of his chest, desperately trying to keep quiet and not get too loud in case someone overheard.

Each stitch was broken open, and blood dribbled down more freely, carefully Darcy pulled out the threads with both hands and placed them, alongside the scalpel, in the sink, now staining the white porcelain with red, beautiful, beautiful red. As soon as her hands were free she grabbed Garcia’s love handles, tightly, but not tight enough to leave a bruise, as much as she wanted to, she bit her lip while manically grinning and lowered herself to lap up the blood as it escaped, careful to make sure none of it made it onto the waistband on his pants, still there were smears of it and saliva left nearly all over his chest, belly, and sides. Darcy rose slightly and took a nipple in between her teeth and slightly tugged, Garcia slapped his hand over his mouth as he let out a shrill moan, Darcy giggled.

Darcy took Garcia’s other nipple in hand and began fiddling with it, pinching and tugging, while she began to leave a hickey on the one in her mouth, other hand rubbing it’s fingers around the edges of the open gash, teasing. After a minute she switched positions, putting the bud, the one she had been pinching, in her mouth, and her hand on the other that she previously had in her mouth.

Once she was done she fully stood up, jutting her thigh in between his legs and rubbing it, effectively pinning him to the sink, Garcia squeezed his eyes shut, grip over his mouth tighter, his hips twitched, then started grinding back, desperate to get much needed friction down there. Then Darcy did something that really shocked him, she stuck a finger in the wound, slowly pulling out, then in, effectively finger fucking it, by Eyes, this was almost as good as the times he had with Atticus.

Both their paces quickened, first Garcia’s and then Darcy’s. Soon Garcia could see stars, he could feel the orgasm coming, gradually building in his gut, he let go of the sink and grabbed onto her shoulder, in an attempt to communicate he was close, Darcy could tell, she whispered,

“I know. Go ahead and let it out.”

And with that the flood gates opened, blinding white hot pleasure exploding throughout his body as he came, he let out a loud drawn out moan, not quite so muffled by the hand he placed there earlier in a futile attempt to keep quiet, not that he cared anymore. His grinding grew lazy as Darcy stopped and stood there, letting him ride out his orgasm and then rest, the only sound in the bathroom being his heavy breathing, he felt very dizzy, both from the orgasm and slight blood loss.

Darcy pated his shoulder, causing his eyes to flutter open, her face was awash with concern,

“Hey you good?”

He gave a shaky thumbs up and an exhausted, but very satisfied smile.

Darcy exhaled in relief,

“Phew! Thank goodness. I’m really sorry about going so rough on you, went a bit overkill… but hey…”

She beamed,

“Pretty good for my first? Right?”

There’s that enthusiasm again, Garcia chuckled and lazily nodded, before gazing down to her crotch, as if reading his exact thoughts Darcy waved her hand,

“Oh, no worries, I can take care of that later, don’t want you to overexert yourself.”

‘Thank god I remembered to wear my lead plated jock strap’ she thought to herself.

After a handful of minutes of Garcia panting and occasionally shivering Darcy pulled her finger out, blood spurting in response, Garcia hissed through his teeth, Darcy whispered,

“Sorry. Sorry.”

She sucked the remaining amount of blood off her fingers and licked up the spill down his belly, after she was done she hesitated, before lowering her leg, hands at Garcia’s side to make sure he was secure, he gave her another thumbs up.

Things were a mess, Darcy was mostly clean, save for a few smears on her face, her gloves, and the wet spot on the thigh Garcia rode, he however, was in less pristine shape, sweaty, blood and saliva smeared all over the front and sides of his abdomen, crotch of pants soaked, wound still openly bleeding, that and the sink was a mess. Darcy went into damage control mode and plucked off her gloves, tossed them into the trash, and replaced them with new sterile gloves. She dampened a small cloth with iodine and began cleaning his body, first dabbing at, and in the wound, the cloth was tossed in the trash and was replaced with a needle that was threaded with surgical thread, she quickly got to sewing up the wound, the feeling almost got Garcia excited all over again as he bit his lip, Darcy tied off the stitch and cut the remaining thread, and placed the needle upon the sink that held the old threads and scalpel.

The wound was finally disinfected and stitched up. Darcy got out another small cloth, soaked it in iodine and dabbed at the stitch just to be safe, she cleaned the stains off his abdomen, then she picked up her scalpel and needle, disinfected them, and placed them back in the med kit,

“Normally I’d toss the blade and needle out, but eh, you know, not exactly the safest idea to throw that out in a bathroom trash can, so, yeah.”

Darcy folded the iodine soaked rag and placed it upon the basin, she got out fresh new bandages and clips from the kit and began to wrap them around Garcia’s chest, once everything was in place she clipped the end in place. After Darcy was sure everything had been fixed she began to wipe down the sink, iodine rag in one hand, picking up the old threads with the other, once everything was clean she threw the rag, threads, and gloves in the trash.

She stepped back, fists upon her hips, as she admiringly surveyed the area, proud of her cleaning skills, before her sight landed back on Garcia, who was standing, wobbly legged, hands upon sink basin, Darcy hopped in place,

“Oh whoops! Sorry, forgot for a sec.”

She pulled a bottle of water out of her purse and handed it to Garcia,

“Here, hydration is important.”

Garcia graciously accepted it, smiling, before undoing the lid and nearly chugging it.

Darcy closed her med kit and placed it back into her purse, before stepping over and picking up Garcia’s folded shirt and tie,

“Sorry about your shirt… and pants… and underwear. I don’t think I have anything to clean stains with… uh.. maybe I could go get you a change of-

“AHEM!”

They both jumped at the gruff voice, the gruff voice they both recognized, they exchanged a look before Garcia speedily slid his shirt back on, buttoning it up as Darcy sped to the door and peaked out, Garcia couldn’t see it but he knew Evermore was out there, Darcy put on a nervous grin,

“Ah! Evermore! Greetings! To what do I owe the pl-

“Mister Mayor Evermore. It’s Mister Mayor Evermore! How many times do I have to tell you that?!”

Darcy bowed her head and waved,

“Of course, my mistake and sincere apologies Mister Mayor Evermore.”

Evermore huffed,

“Yes, yes, now, have you seen my assistant? He’s supposed to be at his desk filing paperwork.”

Garcia mentally took a breath, relieved that Evermore hadn’t heard anything and was none the wiser, he must’ve only heard Darcy talking. Darcy shuffled,

“Ah, no I haven’t, my apolo-

“Whatever, we have more important matters to discuss, follow me to my office.”

And with that he left, strolling to his office, not waiting for Darcy to follow. Darcy stood there before turning to Garcia, smiling, she took a proper bow, one hand in the air as a wave,

“Au revoir.”

And with that she ducked out the door, following Evermore.

Garcia stood there for a bit, stunned with what he got away with on work hours, and thank the stars he always had spare clothes nearby, usually in case dealing with a victim got too messy…

He began to giggle to himself, what an informative time this had been, perhaps she could be useful for more than just relieving tension…

-epilogue-

“Ohhhhh, hahh, fuck.”

Darcy stood in her shower, arm above her head as she leaned forward against the inner wall, fapping, it was late at night, she was nearing her fourth orgasm in a row, once she started it was hard to stop until she was completely exhausted, her mind kept wandering back to earlier that day,

‘I can’t believe I did that.’

After Garcia and her did what they did the high of the moment wore off, she felt quite a lot of things, pride, but also a strong mixture of embarrassment and shame, don’t get it wrong, it was fantastic, but so very dirty, it nearly felt immoral, but she couldn’t stop thinking about it, it was hard to focus on anything for the rest of the day until she got home. What didn’t help her guilt is that earlier, while they were doing those things, she was thinking about a certain someone else.

“C-close.”

She picked up the pace.

“I l-love you… I’m s-sor

Ropes of hot cum shot out of her, she whined, her stomach and legs hurt from how many times she had been at it, she heaved a breath as she tried to catch up with her lungs.

…

Still she felt upset at herself,

‘guilty’

…

Slowly she started pumping again.

[insertuncleverblogname87]

Smutty Month fanfic:

Crispy Cream, suck it clean, Crispy Clean~

🔞⚠️Do not read or interact if under 18⚠️🔞

It was an ordinary autumn day just like any other, the sun was shining brightly, and there was a cool slight breeze in the air, most would find it pleasing, most that is, Darcy would say otherwise.

Darcy never really liked the cold, it was always hard to stay warm, her body just always ran cold no matter how much she bundled up, at least with winter there was pretty snow, but autumn, not so much, then again the cold was better than the humid and hot weather of the hotter seasons, with the cold you can always bundle up as much as you want, while with the heat you can only strip down till you’re completely naked, and it was generally frowned upon to be naked out in public.

Darcy was wearing her iconic sweater and cotton bell bottoms, alongside an old letterman’s jacket and scarf, which she thought made her look quite fetching. She was riding her bike through town, listening to the pleasing noise of the wheels spinning and the crisp leaves crunching underneath.

Eventually she made it to the police station, she parked her bike and chained it to the bike rack, of course it’d be rather daring for anyone to attempt to steal a bike right in front of a police station, but hey, stranger things have happened.

Darcy was planning on taking her lunch with her two good pals, Shotgun Man and Captain, she could’ve token her lunch down at the hospital but she felt awkward having to eat in front of other people she didn’t know very well, and eating in her office was out of the question, she had gotten used to the smell of formaldehyde and corpse stench almost as soon as she took Patty’s place, but people would for sure look at her weirdly even more than they already do if they saw her eating in there. She took her bag out of the bike’s basket and headed in.

The lobby was empty save for the old man of a receptionist snoring away behind the front desk, Darcy carefully tip toed to the hallway to the right, not wanting to wake him, he was rather crabby and rude, and she really didn’t want to deal with him, he almost reminded her of Ignacio, except she found Ignacio strangely enjoyable to be around, this guy, not so much, she could never really remember his name either.

Strolling down the hall she noticed through the window to John’s office that it was empty, he must be out on a case or on lunch somewhere. Making her way to the door at the end of the hall she swung it open, “Guesssss who brought donuts!” She was met with an empty office, it seemed like all the officers, Jack, Patty, Pepe, Shot, and Cap were out, Darcy must’ve not noticed the fact that there were no cop cars out at the front. Strange, usually there was supposed to be at least one officer here at any given time, unless there is a big bust going on, but she would’ve certainly heard sirens or talk of it if there was.

Darcy pulled out her phone, selecting Shot’s name from her contact list and calling

…

“Shotgun Man at your service! Well… not.. quite, if you’re listening to this I’m probably out busting purps with Cappa! If you need me feel free to leave a message after the beep!”

*beep*

Hm, Shot’s never not picked up before. Okay, how about Pepe,

…

“¡Echte ech el teléfono del ofichial Pepe Rito! ¡Echtoy en una michión muy importante! ¡No puedo atender! ¡Deje chu menchaje dechpuéch del tono!”

*beep*

Okay, alright, how about Patty

…

“Patty here.”

Darcy’s shoulders relaxed, “Ah, greetings Patty, it’s me Darcy, how’s it hanging?”

“Fine.”

“Good, good, uh, is there a big bust going on or something?”

“No, why?”

“Uhm, well, where are you? And where are the rest of you guys?”

Patty is silent for a bit before responding, “John, Jack, and me are out studying a case, Pepe is out on a separate case, Captain and Shotgun should be there.”

“But they’re not here.”

Patty is silent for a bit more before sighing, she responds sounding slightly annoyed, “Ugh, great, I’ll talk to you later.”

Darcy grew nervous, “Wait they’re not gonna get in trouble right? Pretend I didn’t say anything!”

*beep*

Damn. Well now she felt bad.

Darcy began to pull the box of donuts out of her bag while strolling over to Shotgun’s desk, planning to just leave it there with a note and then head out to eat lunch somewhere else, not sure if she was really allowed to stay back here with no officers present, before coming to a complete stop.

On Shotgun’s desk was his shotgun, which he usually never left, that’s not the main thing that caught Darcy’s attention however, what did was the slimy slightly white, mostly opaque, substance covering it’s barrel.

What.

That’s-

Oh my god-

No fucking-

Quickly Darcy picked the gun, hands shaky, she stared at it for awhile, nervously she rose the side of the barrel to her nose and sniffed.

Yeah. Yep. She knew that smell, very musky, schlick. If her face wasn’t already red then it was now. Her heart was racing, her guts felt hot, and she felt an uncomfortable strain in her pants, what a day to decide not to wear her lead plated jock strap, she let out a whine, embarrassed and ashamed. How could she be getting so aroused at this? But more importantly how could he have left this here??? How could he have even done this??? Well, I mean, this is completely in character for him, he loves that shotgun, it’s what he named himself after, and he is pretty fucking crazy.

Darcy checked the gun, it thankfully had the safety on, so at least he was being somewhat safe. She returned her sight to the barrel of the gun, staring deeply at it, that’s when she got an idea, it filled her with shame the instant it came to her mind, how could she think this? But… it was a very appetizing idea and she was quite hungry.

She rose the side of the barrel to her face again and took a deep sniff, “h-hahh.” Oh god, that was really good, she crossed her thighs and rubbed them together, “mmph.” She stuck her tongue out and stuck it against the schlick, oh, it was still warm, the taste was unexpected, Darcy hadn’t had sex with anyone yet or ever bothered tasting her own schlick before back when she had a vagina, so the taste was foreign and new, the metallic taste was expected, she heard that’s usually what it tastes like, but there was a slightly sweet taste to it, it was really, really good.

She slowly drug her tongue up and then down the barrel, she pulled back and watched the mixture of schlick and saliva connect with a strand between her tongue and the barrel before the strand broke apart under it’s own weight, this lead to her looking down, noticing the pre leaking out of the tent in her pants, she placed her right arm against her thigh and pushed it down, in an attempt to push her sleeve up, since her left arm was busy holding the gun. Slowly she crept her hand down her pants and wrapped her hand around her hard-on, her hips bucked forward, then she gave it a pump, “nnnngh.”

She began to clean the barrel with her tongue, slowly, to savor the both the taste and the moment. As she stroked herself scenes began to play in her head, Shot lining up the barrel to his pussy and sinking down onto it, the noises he must’ve let out were obscene, at first he started slow, adjusting to the tight stretch, soon enough he’d pick up the pace and be practically bouncing on it, with that Darcy picked up the pace.

Then her mind began to wander, what if one of them walked in right now? What if multiple of them walked in right now? She imagined Captain and Shotgun walking in, returning from whatever it was they were doing, Captain would probably halt and stare silently as his iconic sun glasses would lower down his face shocked, while Shotgun would gasp and then let out an embarrassed squeak, face beat red, both their eyes wide, would Cap even know why she was doing what she was doing, did he know what Shot did to his shotgun? He must’ve noticed when Shot set the gun down on his desk and when he left it behind when they left. What would she do when they did walk in? Would she continue? Lock eyes with Shot and then offer the both of them to join in? Or would she stop? Completely embarrassed and ashamed, yanking her hand out of her pants and dropping the shotgun on the desk, mumbling many apologies while covering her face and trying to cross her thighs, failing to hide her member as it twitches at the arousing embarrassment.

“Hhhhh th-thuck.” She sped up her pace, tightly pinching the head between thumb and pointer finger, for any ordinary person that would be too painful and unpleasant, thankfully Darcy wasn’t ordinary. She took the end of the barrel and put it in her mouth, sucking the juices from the inside out, “H-hahhhhhh, ou thathe tho ood.” She wished he was there so he could hear that.

She began to bob her head as she sucked the barrel, soon it hit the back of her throat and she gagged, that felt rather nice, soon she was deep throating it, gagging and chocking each time it hit the back of her throat, occasionally in between hammering her throat she would stick her tongue down through the barrel’s hole, slurping up the fluids in it, then she’d return back to bobbing her head, the room was filled with her groaning, choking, slurping, alongside the wet slapping of skin. She must’ve been quite the show.

Soon her head grew fuzzy, her eyes blurred and teared up from the lack of proper oxygen, and soon enough she felt that hot feeling in her guts swell, like a spring being wound tight about to snap, even faster she went, practically jack-hammering her throat while squeezing and pumping her dick so hard it will surely bruise, desperate to finish. And finally that coil snapped, “th-thuuuuck.” hot jizz streamed out and filled her underwear and pants as she rode out her orgasm, milking the last bits of fluid out.

Her legs began to shake, feeling like jelly, she flopped into Shotgun’s swivel chair as she pulled out the barrel of his beloved shotgun from her mouth with an audible pop before gasping for precious oxygen, then promptly choking on the fluids she inhaled, then properly swallowing down the schlick and drool, and then finally heavily panting, “hahhhhhh, hhhhhh, haaaahhhhh.”

Her body felt tingly and warm in the afterglow, she shut her eyes and sat there enjoying it for a few minutes before post nut clarity hit like a freight truck and she sat up, first looking down at her pants, which were thoroughly ruined, no way those stains were ever gonna come out, then looking at the shotgun, completely sucked dry of schlick but now covered in drool.

Ah.

Fuck.

Darcy hurriedly cleaned the scene of the crime so to speak. First taking some napkins from her bag and wiping the residue off her hands, then tossing those napkins in Shot’s trash can, then disinfecting her hands with the hand sanitizer that she had in her jacket pocket, then taking the rest of the napkins from her bag and wiping the gun down till it was completely dry, then again tossing those napkins into the trash can, then again disinfecting her hands just too be one hundred percent safe, she thought about disinfecting Shot’s gun, but decided against it, in case he tried fucking the gun again, she had learned from experience that hand sanitizer really did not feel good inside sensitive areas.

Darcy left the box of donuts on the desk, picked up her bag, and silently sped out the building careful not to wake the secretary who was thankfully still asleep, she tugged down her sweater to cover the front of her ruined pants, then hopped on her bike, she pondered things for a bit before remembering why she was here in the first place, she frowned and nervously swallowed, her throat sore, she cleared her throat as she pulled her phone from her pocket and selected Mort’s name on her contacts list, she nervously smiled and spoke hoarsely,

“Hey boss, I’m gonna be a little late.”

-epilogue-

Darcy’s front door swung open as she hurried in, heading towards her laundry room, there in the living room on her couch was Dexter, previously mindlessly watching television before hearing and noticing Darcy he turned towards her,

“Aren’t you supposed to be at work?”

“No questions.” Darcy hurriedly spoke out.

“What’s wrong with your voice? Why do you sound like that?? Why are you walking like that???”

“I SAID NO QUESTIONS!”

(I’d like to thank my good pal Moon, they helped me with Pepe Rito’s dialogue, they were a major help and they’re really good at what they do, please check out their stuff! https://moonmecca.carrd.co/ )

Moon Mecca

Musician, Translator, Tutor...

[insertuncleverblogname87]

Dean likes her MILK

Born from an inside joke in the Bloodmoney discord

[dirty-sm-confessions]

One time my friend wrote a fic about Garcia pissinf in evermores mouth for me

[insertuncleverblogname87]

[insertuncleverblogname87]

So Human Expenditure Program,

(Not safe for work below)

Non shadow version—-

|

V

[insertuncleverblogname87]

YOU KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS FOLKS!?! THATS RIGHT! ITS; ‘IM BORED GIVE ME SMUT REQUESTS’ TIME! YOU want KHONSIN? ILL make IT! That is if it’s for something with Pent/Shelby or Khonjin. Remember; no requests for underage characters!

[insertuncleverblogname87]

don’t have anything clever to say for this one.

(not safe for work below)

[insertuncleverblogname87]

Bloodmoney? More like moneyshot!

(not safe for work below)

[insertuncleverblogname87]

Ha. tiny pp.

anyway this is my first time ever digitally tracing one of my traditional drawings.

(warning not safe for work)

[insertuncleverblogname87]

So I was looking to see how big an inch is to compare and see how big Harvey’s penis is and

My god