// I’ve been so absent here, so.... Like if you want a thing?
d e v o n

No title available
Keni

Kiana Khansmith

oozey mess
occasionally subtle

tannertan36

#extradirty
No title available

No title available
Xuebing Du

JBB: An Artblog!

titsay
Show & Tell
🪼
Monterey Bay Aquarium
Stranger Things
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

blake kathryn
Sade Olutola
seen from Japan

seen from Indonesia
seen from United States

seen from Germany
seen from United States
seen from Singapore

seen from Germany
seen from United States

seen from Indonesia
seen from Germany
seen from United Kingdom

seen from Germany

seen from United Arab Emirates

seen from Malaysia
seen from United States

seen from United Kingdom

seen from United States

seen from Brazil
seen from India
seen from United States
@inspiteoffaults
// I’ve been so absent here, so.... Like if you want a thing?
Jane let the empty basket fall from her hip, allowing the wicker handle settle comfortably in the crook of her arm. It was a fine day for a walk, and had Lizzy been anywhere to be found when the suggestion was made at breakfast that Jane walk into Meryton to pick up a few things for her mother, she surely would have invited her second sister along, but Lizzy had escaped the breakfast room that morning in favour of a walk with a book, leaving Jane to make the journey alone. She didn’t truly mind; with as many sisters as she had, sometimes it was nice to have a moment alone with oneself. A pleasant voice interrupted her thoughts as a young woman only a bit ahead of her on the road hailed her. Jane’s lips turned up to form a cordial smile and she bowed her head in greeting as she approached the woman. “Good morning! This path does lead to Meryton, though it is not the main way that most take.” A friendly interest lit up Jane’s face, “I’m headed there myself, if you do not mind company.”
A relieved sigh passed her lips when the other woman proved to be agreeable. It would indeed be just her luck if she’d found that her only possible savior was in fact taciturn and unhelpful. But this happier prospect made Emma smile brightly, determined that the other woman know how truly grateful she was. Gathering her petticoats to avoid the mud, she crossed the lane to meet her. Dipping her head in a brief curtsey, she offered a much delayed introduction. “I’m much obliged, thank you. Company is always welcome -- especially when it is so agreeably helpful,” she said. “I’m Miss Woodhouse -- Emma Woodhouse. I’m visiting an acquaintance in the village and...” She trailed off a moment, a sheepish laugh escaping her. “Well, your fair countryside seems rather to have gotten the better of me...”
unrequited love starters
Send one to see how my muse reacts.
IN LOVE
“I love you. I’m sorry.”
“I know you don’t feel the same way.”
“I don’t want to be friends.”
“Why can’t you just give me a chance?!”
“How could you pick him/her/them over me?”
“Don’t you get it? It’s because I love you!”
“Just one date. Coffee? Please?”
“Can we please pretend I never said that?”
“Friendzoned again.”
“I want you to be happy, with or without me.”
“You should’ve loved me when you had the chance.”
“I’m a nice person! Why can’t I get dates?”
“I don’t want to be just friends with benefits anymore.”
“Fuck you for toying with my emotions like that.”
“I was there for you when no one else was!”
“Please don’t tell anyone about this.”
“Alright – I can tell a ‘no’ when I hear it.”
“I’m sorry I acted so creepy.”
“Can’t we just give us another chance?”
“I love you. I know you don’t love me, so don’t say it back.”
“You don’t have to say anything, if you don’t want. I just thought you should know.”
“I don’t love him/her/them. I love you.”
“God, please don’t tell my wife/husband/spouse about this.”
“Can I have just one kiss?”
“Fuck. It’s like what they say – nice guys finish last…”
“I knew that’d be your answer. That’s why I never told you before.”
“I’m tired of keeping this secret. Even if you don’t love me back.”
“When I said I loved you, I meant it.”
“Is there any part of you, deep down, that might love me back?”
NOT
“I’m sorry, I just don’t see you that way.”
“I don’t owe you anything!”
“We can be friends instead.”
“I don’t feel as strongly for you as you do for me.”
“If you bring up the friendzone, this conversation is over.”
“I love you, just not in that way.”
“Thanks so much for understanding.”
“You’ll find somebody else.”
“I hope we’ll still be friends after this.”
“No means no, so stop asking!”
“I thought you were my friend.”
“This isn’t a debate. I said no.”
“I don’t think we’d be compatible.”
“Look at this realistically – can you honestly see any scenario where we’d date and not kill each other?”
“You’re only saying that because you’re freaking out.”
“I have a boyfriend/girlfriend/partner.”
“What?!”
“What are you talking about? You’re married!”
“You’re in a relationship with another person – you know this can’t end well.”
“You’re more like a sibling, to be honest.”
“I’m flattered, I just don’t…”
“Wow. I mean – wow. Sorry, I’m just – just really shocked, is all.”
“You were the one that left all those notes for me?”
“We agreed this was just physical!”
“There’s a reason we didn’t work out the first time.”
“I’m sorry, but… no.”
”EMMA WOODHOUSE, handsome, clever, and rich, with a comfortable home and happy disposition, seemed to unite some of the best blessings of existence; and had lived nearly twenty-one years in the world with very little to distress or vex her.” – Emma, Chapter 1
indie & selective written by skye graphic by emily
Oh! I always deserve the best treatment because I never put up with any other.
George Knightley bravely, yet unsuccessfully tries to reason with Emma.
Austen Aesthetics ➺ Emma Woodhouse
She studies him for a moment, taking a sip of her tea in an attempt to cover the act. To receive such candor from a man -- one whose acquaintance she’d only recently made -- is equal parts surprising and refreshing. Of course she is well aware of how men made their choice of match: status, beauty, fortune. Deeper feeling is perhaps to them a luxury, pleasant if found, but hardly necessary for the match to be a desirable. She has other ideas. Compatibility of fortune is a consideration, yes. But compatibility of spirit is far more important -- and, if she does say so herself, far more exciting a match to orchestrate...
Her cup settles on china saucer once more. “I see you do not trust in my talents, Mr. Hamilton. I must say! You certainly don’t dispense flattery lightly...” She smiles, a knowing little curl of the lips. “Perhaps then you are not interested in pleasing all the ladies in the county. But! I do myself the credit of thinking I’m a reasonable sort of girl -- I will do as you ask. But I do you hope you realize you’ve quite taken all the amusement out of matchmaking...” She laughs. “I hope you’re satisfied, sir!”
// I’m actually here! WHOO! I’m going to work on drafts/starters now, so like this post if you’d like a thing!
// Apologies for the slowness over here! I’ll be on tomorrow after taking advantage of Free Comic Book Day! :D
popular text posts + ask memes (part two)
❛ i don’t have time for a relationship. do you know how many books i need to read? ❜ ❛ i think it’s hilarious when people tell me i’m laid back because i’ve pretty uch been screaming nonstop in my head since like fifth grade ❜ ❛ coming out of my cage and i’ve been doing just… not good ❜ ❛ i’m a piece of shit, but it’s fine ❜ ❛ how i am supposed to have a lit summer with $4.65 ❜ ❛ i’m a huge fan of space; both outer and personal ❜ ❛ and to your left, you can see me, ruining everything ❜ ❛ any full cast musical number can be a solo if you believe hard enough ❜ ❛ kinda hungry, kinda horny, kinda tired, kinda wanna get a tattoo ❜ ❛ no amount of under eye concealer can cover up how tired i am of this world ❜ ❛ i’m ready for autumn, but not autumn responsibilities ❜ ❛ today i’m wearing a lovely shade of i slept like shit so don’t piss me off ❜ ❛ i’m not making enough boys nervous ❜ ❛ i really want my last words to be ‘hey, wanna see a dead body?’ ❜ ❛ don’t you hate it when money goes away when you spend it? ❜ ❛ i’m always a slut for conspiracy theories ❜ ❛ i wanna make a diss track about myself ❜ ❛ true friendship is bullying your friends into watching the tv shows you watch ❜ ❛ i’d be such a good girlfriend/boyfriend/s.o. you’re all missing out ❜ ❛ sorry i was late. i can’t conceptualize time. ❜ ❛ fuck what the aliens said ❜ ❛ sometimes it physically pains me to hold back my sarcastic comments ❜ ❛ if outfit repeating was a crime i would be sentenced to life without parole ❜ ❛ does anyone have ten thousand dollars they don’t want? ❜ ❛ i want a sugar daddy, but i know nicki minaj wants me to be independent ❜ ❛ i stress about stress before there’s even stress to stress about ❜ ❛ i don’t have plans for tonight or the rest of my life if anyone wants to have a drink or get married ❜ ❛ tbh sometimes you just gotta let me be dramatic because i will get over it, but let me be dramatic first. ❜ ❛ painfully average looking with a great sense of humor and always down to get drunk ❜ ❛ if we date, you have to hold my hand in the car. no exceptions. ❜ ❛ in an unfortunate development, i am now awake ❜ ❛ you’re hella bomb, hella cute, and anyone would be hella lucky to have you ❜ ❛ kinda hurt, kinda offended, kinda not planning on saying anything about it ❜ ❛ trying to embarrass me is so unnecessary. i do it to myself just fine. ❜ ❛ if you don’t think i’m a princess then you’re 100% right. i’m the fucking queen. ❜ ❛ fuck summer. i want it to be dark and misty and frigid and october. ❜ ❛ lana may have fucked her way up to the top, but i am bullshitting my way up to the middle ❜ ❛ i don’t want to get involved in the drama, i just wanna know 103% of the information on what happened ❜ ❛ so… do you want to watch 49.7 hours of parks and recreation with me? ❜ ❛ i hit rock bottom like every two weeks ❜ ❛ can someone please be proud of me? like fuck, i’m trying. ❜ ❛ give me a few days to overthink about it ❜ ❛ can i sell my feelings on ebay? i don’t want them anymore. ❜ ❛ i’m really fucking sarcastic for someone who’s about to start crying most of the time ❜ ❛ when does hibernation start because i am 100% participating in that ❜ ❛ don’t you hate it when you wake up and you’re awake ❜ ❛ i lowkey just wanna make sure you’re happy as fuck ❜ ❛ i literally have no idea what i’m gonna do if i don’t end up rich ❜ ❛ you know you’re in deep when you love listening to them talk and you get attached to their voice ❜ ❛ no offense, but when is it my turn for someone to be in love with me ❜ ❛ i’m an asshole with a really big heart ❜ ❛ i have to be funny because being hot is not an option ❜ ❛ can i apologize in advance for basically everything i will ever do ❜ ❛ okay that’s cool, but consider the following: snuggling with me until i fall asleep ❜ ❛ please handle me with care. i am a very sleepy and soft creature. ❜ ❛ drunk me is the me i really want to be. confident, hilarious, and most importantly, drunk. ❜
STRANGE SENTENCE STARTERS —— for the creative writer in you. Send these in and see what your partner comes up with as a scenario!
*These are completely interchangeable, they’re just in categories to make it easier for all of y’all.
FOR AMIGOS;
“How many times are you going to do that, exactly?”
“You were right. As per usual.”
“Sometimes it’s hard to see the lines you’ve drawn until you’ve crossed them.”
“You’re surprised because you have a soft spot for hot blondes.”
“Is that – that’s a naked Scarlett Johansson on your fridge.”
“You can stay, but for no more than two nights.”
“Please don’t look in this drawer. Please.”
“I told you not to pick him up, he’s very sensitive.”
“Yes. I might have given you rabies. But in my defense, that’s ridiculous and I didn’t.”
“I’m sorry, my cell phone data coverage does not cover the bullshit zone you’re in.”
“Hey! Give me your pants. Quick, give me your pants.”
“No, I’m serious. Stop it right now or I won’t give you the last cookie.”
“You think I’m kidding. But I’ve never been more serious about anything in my entire life.”
“How much would a stripper cost and why so much?”
“I’m going to buy you a drink. Next week. On Thursday. When I get paid. Can you swing this one?”
“Hippos are hungry, hungry! And you are considerably larger than a small piece of lettuce!”
“When I was little, I used to be afraid of mummies. And now look at me. I love dead people!”
“I don’t even miss my ex-boyfriends/girlfriends, I just miss my glockenspiel.”
“It happens to everyone, you just sell your skirt for some coke.”
“Please do not pull your pants down in front of baby Jesus.”
“That’s not the phrasing you want to use.”
“Because nothing says heterosexuality like a gold sash.”
“Please don’t take it out on my boobs.”
“When it gets really windy I look like a bizarre combination of Marilyn Monroe and Cousin It.”
“We have to change our names and run away to Mexico. It’s the only way. Adios.”
“How much money do you have on you?”
“Please tell me that’s a raisin and not a tiny hamster shit you’re eating.”
“Life is a lot better when you put things on your head.”
“For someone who’s not very deep, I’m incredibly not shallow.”
FOR LOVERS;
“I need you to remind me what it feels like to love you.”
“I love you. What? No I don’t. Forget I said anything.”
“I need you to tickle my feet but like, sexually.”
“If we got married, would I have to take your last name? Or could we just make up a new one?”
“I don’t think I can do this anymore.”
“I heard you say his/her name in your sleep last night. Want to explain or should I just leave?”
“I want to spend the night with you tonight. But I also want to sleep on your side. And without you on the bed. So technically I just want your bed.”
“Please don’t be proposing to me in an empty parking lot.”
“Stop saying you’re sorry, you stupid fucking broken record. It’s done.”
“I’m not jealous, I’m curious. About the things you were doing. With him/her. Without me.”
“Your mother’s looks could kill. Actually, are you sure they haven’t before?”
“If you’re breaking up with me tonight, can I at least eat first?”
“Stop sweating. It’s not attractive during sex, and it’s not attractive now.”
“Are you – are you checking me out? In the line for the confessional?”
“We have to go. I might have told your mom I’m pregnant. I don’t know why I said that. I’m not.”
“So what you’re saying it that you’re snorting sugar to get excited for sex.”
“My dog licks better than you do.”
“But through every stupid thing you do and say – and those are a lot, by the way – I love you.”
“I don’t care if you’re growing another head. I’ll talk to both of them. I love you.”
“And I’d take fifty years of not talking to you for just a day of doing so. I promise that’s a compliment.”
“I don’t want to hide this anymore. I’m not some dirty little secret, you American Reject.”
“This is a bit too dramatic for my taste, so can we skip it and have sex instead?”
“I don’t want you to think of me as your personal sex toy.”
“Thanks and all, but that makes me feel like a low-class escort, so.”
“A kiss in exchange for every nice thing you say about me. Deal?”
“Promise me you’re not like him/her. I need to hear it from your mouth. Promise me.”
“Look, I’ve had my heart broken before. I’m not ready to let you in just yet. Anywhere.”
“Don’t leave me here. Anywhere else, okay, but not here.”
“I wish I could say that was the worst sex I ever had, but I’ve had worse.”
“I just blew you. Could you look a little happier about it?”
“I’m attracted to shiny things, so if it looks like I’m staring at your chest, it’s because I am.”
FOR TEXTERS;
[text] This is upsetting my poop.
[text] Hey, are you up? If you’re not, can you wake up? I need some help.
[text] So it involves feces and large birds.
[text] She said that to you? Why?
[text] Please come back. I miss you.
[text] What are you good for if you’re not gonna bring me ice cream?
[text] Can you ignore that last text? It wasn’t meant for you. I’m sorry.
[text] …did you just send me a nude?
[text] FUCK OFF YOU ONE-EYED WHORE.
[text] I don’t know why I said that.
[text] Leave it to you to fuck the simplest of requests up.
[text] Do we have to go to their wedding? He’s only my first cousin.
[text] How much does ‘I love you’ mean to you?
[text] I am not stalking you. But you should do something about your bathroom, it’s gross.
[text] Please. I need this so badly.
[text] I trust you completely.
[text] I’m a genius. You’re a peasant. Everything makes sense again.
[text] Hey, buddy! Got like, five hundred bucks I can borrow? Times ten.
[text] She lost it. She completely lost it. She said her uterus was attacking her bone marrow.
[text] I will not get you donuts.
[text] Please? I love you.
[text] I think I’m gonna go to sleep now, but you keep thinking that.
[text] I can’t say this out loud. They might be listening.
[text] I never meant to hurt you. I didn’t think he’d duck when the ball came at him, I’m sorry.
[text] You’re cute.
[text] I just need you to understand how important you are to me.
[text] Fuck off.
[text] Okay. Guess we’ll leave it at that then.
// Would anyone like a starter?