☣︎--ཐིℑ𝕺𝔇ཋྀ--☣︎

ả̵͇̈́͗͋̌̔̕ñ̷̢͓̜̻̟̗̞̥̫̥̀̆͊̒͌̎͘d̵̡̢̳̳̳̞̠͍̝̒̓́̽ ̶̰̮̲͉̀̇̏̓̌̕i̶̧̘̠̬͍̣͙̬̩͝'̸̨̹̯̲̼͓͈̥̭̈̆̓̿͌͝l̶̡̢̥̟͚̪͇̰̔̈͆̓́͂͐̿͠l̸̨͖̦̭͙͇͓̜͛́̋̈̑̌̏̈́̈͜ ̸̢̰̣̦́̉ġ̶̠͚̈́̈ő̵̢̠̎ ̸͓͇͇̺̌͆̐ţ̷͖̩͍̯̹̩̮̯͊̆̀͝o̵͔̙͉̝͓̞̙̱̲̓̄̊́ ̷̧̡͉̠͈̞́̄͛́̈́͂̚͜m̶̨̟͍͛̊͐͗ỹ̸̞͉̮͈̻̭ ̵̨̩̟̰̯̦̹̟͓͛̋͛̇̐d̵͎̜̭̟̃͝ͅe̴̗̝̙̗̠̞͎̩̥͆̈́ả̴̝̳͍̍̉́͗̄͆̎̄͐t̶̲͈̮̓̊́̂̽̈́͛̍͝h̵̨̞͇̼͚̪̉̀́̊͝ ̸̡̛͈̫̭͎̩̟̑̇̌͒̎g̵̰̘̫͎̥͍͖̀̔͊͒̇̿̓̽̾͝l̷̡̢̳̥͍̯̺̣̋̽̈́͌̐̎͛̂̚͠ã̸̱͇̞̱͇̗̹̹͉͊̃͊̾̈́͊̔̚͝d̷̡̼͎̎͌̓̋́̚͠l̶̙̩͙̃̂̌̔͆͑̏̚ͅy̵̠̟̌̑̑͋̊̓̆͠ ̷̨̧̤͎͖́̈́̾́̏͐͂͑͝w̵̨̹͑̒i̵̢͚̙̥̦̝̎͂͊̃͐͊͝t̶͚̪̫̺͇̱̤͑̈́͗̔̾̄̊͠ḥ̷̛̲͈͍͖̝̟͑͑̑ ̵̦͖̤̳͙̮̻̹͖̈̈a̵̺̽̔̕ ̷̨̮̫̖̻͚͎͔͌͂̈́̇̋̚͠͠ͅp̷̨͕̤̖̑̄̉̓̅͜͝è̷̖̺̞̺̹̩͒̽̓̊͝͠͠ͅá̴̢̢̪̦̈̉͌̎̍͒̕͝c̶͍͍̦͑̓͋ė̵̪̳̖̜̦̯͚̤̫̹͋̈́f̵̝͙̯̙̆́̔̐͋͑̒̚͝ṳ̶̣͈͎̝̟́̈́͒͂͐͂͘͜l̸̨̯̮͍̰͚̱͈̈́̍̂̀̎̓͒̈́̏̚ ̸͎̺́͐̇̇h̵̙̬͈̜͉̪͗͜ȩ̶̨̡͚̟̭̥͕͓̯̏̌̈́͝â̶̤̺̑̓͆͜r̶̼̖͆͛̅̈́̂͛̚͘ṱ̴̠̬̩͈̦̠̞̖̓̑̾̽͊̌

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if you are reading this, i loved you deeply. i wish i hugged you harder the last time. please dont cry and just cherish the moments we had instead. i will be a ghost hanging around so i will know if you do.

know that im at peace finally. i wanted this all my life but couldnt find it anywhere, even in the furthest corner of the world. dont ever ever think you could do something. we both did the best we can and im deeply grateful for that. lets just accept it as it is cause this day would come anyways.

i will decompose and recompose into everything around you. i will be the flowers on my grave, i will be in the bellies of bugs and the birds who eat those worms and the cats who eats them. every atom of me will be all around and maybe one day you will see my eyes again in a newborns curious gaze if you believe stuff like that.

i am so sorry for letting you down. you must know its crushing to do this, stop fighting, leaving you alone in this fucked up world, but please dont get mad at me, i beg you. please give all the understanding you would give to me if im alive.

throw parties at my funeral or at least do an after-party with who you can and have fun like we used to. celebrate life, love and friendship! please dont forget that im finally happy and forever with you <3

see you on the other side,

K

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im still alive

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Immortality by Clare Harner

Do not stand at my grave and weep; I am not there, I do not sleep. I am a thousand winds that blow, I am the diamond glints on snow. I am the sunlight on ripened grain, I am the gentle autumn rain. When you awaken in the morning's hush, I am the swift uplifting rush Of quiet birds in circling flight. I am the soft stars that shine at night. Do not stand at my grave and cry; I am not there, I did not die.

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[innocentpain]

[euritsua]

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im a girly girl, with a girly secret

if i tell it to you promise that you'll keep it?

i'll tell you now, my secret is is is

i will do one last recidency here and k*ll myself afterwards :3

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diary entry #5

im so tired of asking help. the ones who understand cant help, others just pity, i guess. it so hard to keep pushing knowing that everyday it will get harder and harder. i wish my soul was not this much tired, i would definately manage this.

every cell inside me knows i will be here more than expected. everything just seems like a possibility, nothing more. every choice has the same weight, there is nothing appealing anymore.

im know that nothing could save me but they can hold me. i let them. i let them until we cant no more. i cant do it anymore. holding something is a distant memory, even touching it is.

i feel like a phone that has %1 battery and my owner is trying to find an after party to crash.

just one more gig, just one more. one more.

i just want to listen my body. i just wanna surrender, i hope everyone will understand.

its so easy to make plans about how you will live and very lonely to make the opposite. maybe i should not think it this much and be instrictive. at least that way i could spent my last moments with joy.

[instruments-of-death]

diary entry 4#

Going on a trip, to the farthest place I can possibly go from here. Battling with the voice to do it this time. Countless breathtaking scenes awaits me, could I hold myself once again? For the sake of love? Why am I resisting? This was the opportunity I waited for years.

The call is getting stronger everyday, I can't concentrate on work and friends again. To know you do something for the last time is just heavy. Also saying goodbyes.

Always taking about that going to a very far place and ditching your phone is same thing as dying. You can't reach them anymore and their whole existence becomes a memory for you. Living just inside you. That's all I want to be to be honest, to become a warm feeling on the chest and a cute ghost that haunts dreams.

Will this be my last artwork? Did I achieved all my artist dreams? Did I ever had any artist dreams or was it just a thing that I do to fight my demons? I am happy that I made V-Ball, all the rest doesn't really matter. Hope it makes some impact to this fucked up world.

Guardian angel, why are you doing this? Do you love my friends more than you love me? Let me be in peace, for I know I will never find it in this world.

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Bone Chair by Eugene von Bruenchenhein

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scarification tattoos

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Hachi-San-Bunbun from Japan's body mod scene

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