two hearts in halves

i’m s, (they/she), intj, bi grey ace. no longer crushing on my ex-tc, t. current tc is d, she is amazing

[psychogirly]

Girls when their middle aged professor doesnt like them back

[intangible-tc]

we are so back

i have a new crush on my uni lecturer....

i really thought that as i got older, my crushes would balance out and i would get closer in age to the people i had a crush on... but no. why am i currently down bad for a 55 year old philosophy lecturer.......

[intangible-tc]

when you’re texting your tc (now graduated though) and she sends a winky face at the end of her message

lmao i love her but that is NOT how that emoji works! you cannot send me a winky emoji and expect me not to fall more in love with you!!?

[intangible-tc]

I talked to her on the phone the other day!! It was great, I would die for her!!

But like while I was talking to her so literally got dizzy and the only grounding thing I could focus on was talking to her 🥺 And also my hands were really shaking. Like wow I really am crazy for this absolute queen.

But yeah I think I might text her tomorrow because she’s literally the only person in my life who can do no wrong, and I am tired of my other friends’ random shit and sporadic replies lol

[intangible-tc]

OH MY GOD I LOVE HER SO MUCH 🥰🥺🥰

i have been texting her over the last few days and like wow i just love her. i swear we are low key the same person sometimes. but like i also feel so guilty when i am texting her, like, she absolutely has her own life and a family and shit to do!!! why am i texting her when she has a whole ass life?!!! 🥺🥺

[halflunar]

“Even when I look away I am still looking.”

— Richard Siken, from Portrait of Fryderyk in Shifting Light

[intangible-tc]

ugghhh i really want to text her but i have literally no idea what to say.

like i don’t think it is appropriate to absolutely infodump on random books or how much i love her so i don’t really know what to say to sound engaging? especially since i’m such a boring dumb bitch??

[intangible-tc]

so uhhh

i have fully finished school now (i mean i did ages ago, but just before the new year, results came out, so it feels like everything is fully done, finally)

i was emailing my tc the other day and she gave me her phone number 🥰🥺💖🥺💚💜💖🥺🥰 but yeah wow am i in love with her STILL. like she could literally destroy me and i would thank her. so i think we might actually meet up some time soon!! which is awesome. but yeah i love her Unconditionally, and the best thing about that is that it is almost mutual. she has more faith in my than i have in myself, and maybe more faith in me than anybody else does wow

[intangible-tc]

sorry in advance folks but i need to infodump this somewhere.

so it’s been exactly a week since i last saw my tc (i have been thinking about her every day lol) but i keep thinking about how she touched my knee and my arm last week, and how they don’t feel the same as before.

like i am quite a tactile person. unless i am touching something gross or unhygienic i would rather not wear gloves, (so like washing dishes etc.) because i prefer to be able to feel texturally what i am doing. but i am really sensitive to other people’s touch. like if any of my friends or coworkers touch me, i would probably flinch or be awkward. even my mum, sometimes, who is like my closest friend, will touch me and i will hate it. i think maybe it is because the touch is loaded with a sense of reciprocity and familial obligation, but also because i just! don’t! want! to! be! touched!

but when my tc touched my knee it felt like a jolt of warmth, like electricity. it felt so benevolent and benign. if i hadn’t have been watching her actions (and hands 🤤) i think i would have barely noticed her hand on my knee because it felt so delicate. but like,, moral of the story, i do not find touch as aberrant when it is from my tc?? who would have thought??

[quotingliterature-blog]

Virginia Woolf, Night and Day

[intangible-tc]

women with a phd are a million times hotter than any other women

[carols-lipstick]

it’s cool because sarah paulson likes older women too, she gets it

[teachercrxsh]

Me listening to music when suddenly a song that reminds me of my tc comes on

[intangible-tc]

not me having a whole playlist that i made of songs that remind me of her 😅

[intangible-tc]

sometimes i get really bad, destruc i’ve intrusive thoughts, but i’m very grateful for the fact that, recently, basically all my intrusive thoughts have been “email her back and tell her that you love her”. which i think is pretty good. nice to have some vaguely positive intrusive thoughts for once.

[always-tc]

i’m so freaking in love with her and i don’t even go to school anymore it HURTS my heart

[overhertc]

i’m in the same exact boat 😔

[intangible-tc]

mood 😔

[intangible-tc]

when she emails you with “i’m sorry to take up your time” like noooo. please don’t be!!!! take up all the time i have, it is yours to have. i will literally give you all of my time 😭😭

anyway i had like work for five hours today and did i think of her for every minute of those five hours??? yes. absolutely. i love her so much.

[intangible-tc]

so like fellas:

i saw her today, i literally spoke to her for like an hour. i love her so much. i peppered in the fact that i am gay a LOT. so if she doesn’t know i am bi(?) at this point i can’t help her.

BUT ALSO SHE FUCKN TOUCHED MY KNEE 🥰😍🥰😍 i nearly died bruh. really good stuff today.