Hiraeth

Put me in the dirt and let me sleep with the starts.

[intangled]

progress?

rainbow streets pave way love is love, until you have to think of the youth. 

[intangled]

pull, grab, bite, wanting

aches, bruises, violet, blue

paint me, your canvas.

[intangled]

i constantly feel myself in a state of emptiness and don’t know how to refill myself.

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When her lips touch mine I feel like a Popsicle melting in the sun. She’s sweet and delicious all at once and maybe for once I wouldn’t mind melting with her.

[intangled]

everything is moving too slow

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tonight i’m doing drugs

and trying not to think about how soft your skin is

under bed sheets in the early morning.

tonight i’m leaving it behind

and going to work on myself

for myself.

tonight i’m thankful for the experiences

and ready for the new lessons i will face.

[intangled]

i miss walking on stars and tripping through my city.

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this whole break i haven’t stopped crying or panicking. i just want to tear myself apart. not feel anything and just be destructive. im tired of being sad.

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for the life of me

i cannot recall a place called “home”.

instead, i think of

loud voices, bruises, scars.

if “home” is where the heart is

i must be heartless

for i don’t know any place by that name.

“home” feels like a dream,

just barely out of reach and unreal.

maybe one day,

just not today.

[intangled]

i want to know what you taste like,

and if inbetween your legs there’s honey,

sticky and sweet

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guess who’s back? do you miss me and my pain? i started this blog to hold my last will and testament for when i eventually kill myself.

i thought i made progress and didn’t need this spot anymore.  that I was happy. i don’t remember how to be happy anymore.

her and i are no longer together. who will hold me while i whisper how much i want to end everything? we haven’t talked in months.  until last week, she sent me a text, “hey” and i don’t know what to say.

my boy doesn’t understand me asks me why when i tell him i’m depressed tells me i think too much about it and i’m being dramatic let me put on a show for you - it’ll be my final act it won’t be the one where the prince saves the princess but rather where the princess saves (kills) herself what a true grim story.

[intangled]

it's time to leave the past where it belongs to quit picking at old scabs and scars and let them heal i am stronger now and do not require validation from others

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hello? are you there? can you hear me? please don't leave. we love you too much to not have you around. please stay.

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Do you remember me? The girl with pretty words and broken heart? Sometimes I don't even remember myself.

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Having sex is easy. Love isn’t.

(via babygirlmedina)

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Let's dance with fire and see where it goes. In the next week I'll be up to no good and I can't wait to see where it goes.

[intangled]

I haven't felt so alive in months. Who knew what I've been avoiding would be what I needed after all? Home is a weird and fickle place.