My favorite whump tropes tend towards the psychological: hypnosis and brainwashing, captivity, medical and lab whump, drugging and sedatives, and altered states. I also love whump involving sickness, injuries and hospitals, as well as hurt/comfort.
I enjoy writing whump that's on the gentle side and mixed with comfort, often with ASMR-ish qualities.
I especially like to write about the supernatural and am fond of vampires, faefolk, and cyberpunk dystopia.
I consider my blog SFW 18+. While my content is intended for adults, there will not be any explicit smut and only occasional gore.
the rare bookseller and the vampire auction
The story of Oliver, a seller of rare books who is kidnapped and sold at a high-end auction for vampires to purchase thralls.
18+. Contains vampires, mind control, hypnotic inductions, captivity / gilded cage, blood drinking, abuse, violence, torture, Stockholm syndrome, slavery / human auction, psychological whump.
Rare Bookseller Masterlist
Rare Bookseller Masterlist Part 2
Rare Bookseller Side Stories and AUs Masterlist
other works
Featuring hypnotic inductions, drugging, hurt/comfort and much more.
Other Works Masterlist
My ask box is open as well, if you'd like to ask the characters anything or talk about whump tropes.
You are already watching the spiral. The headphones are already on your ears. Your body isn’t obeying you any longer. Your mind is drifting too far away from you.
You try to fight, but you have already lost.
Something is about to happen, and you know it.
You are waiting for that pendulum to drop. You are waiting for them to snap their fingers. You are waiting to hear the trigger. And knowing makes your stomach churn with fear, with arousal, with anticipation.
You are preparing to fight, but you don’t know when you should start swinging.
You don’t know anything, and you don’t have to know.
You are sinking and dropping and drifting, and that’s just fine. You didn’t notice anything amiss, you don’t even know you are being slowly entranced and controlled.
You can’t fight, because you don’t even know you are supposed to be fighting.
and like. girl vampires who are given the same kind of depth as male vampires of reconciling their own monstrous desires with how human they still are or not. and not like. vapid sexy temptresses or whatever. they have their time and place but i want a girl vampire desperately gripping the sink looking into the mirror just to see what isnt there anymore
photograph of a doll caught in a spiderweb (part 1)
a story i've been working on for a few days. it's about hypnosis, but not entirely about that. i hope you enjoy.
(link to part 2) (part 3) (part 4)
---
photography was supposed to be just a little hobby for jim. he figured it was a good excuse to get out and do something, so he would bring a camera along with him whenever he walked to a cafe or the library, to take some pictures along the way.
at first, his self consciousness forced him to only focus on things that wouldn't take very much effort, so he wouldn't have to stick around in the same area for too long - but over time, the boredom of only taking pictures of the sky and the same zoomed-out landscapes outweighed the embarrassment, and he found that, more than anything, he liked taking pictures of very small things, particularly bugs and spiderwebs. something about how easy it was to control the angle, the way it looked when you can clearly see all of the delicate details of something while the background and everything around it blurs, and, in the case of the bugs, the challenge of capturing something that's moving, waiting for the perfect moment. it appealed to him.
on one of his walks, he came across a doll that had fallen onto the sidewalk. normally, he would have just ignored it and walked past without a second thought. but, with his camera in hand, all he could think about was how to get a nice picture of it. he picked it up and moved it without even thinking, gently leaning it against a nearby spiderweb - thankfully it was small and light enough not to break it. the doll clearly hadn't been on the ground for long, so it wasn't dirty, either. it made for an interesting contrast - this clean, perfect doll with this neglected little place outside. as if the spider had caught it.
he was so focused on that visual that he nearly dropped his camera when he heard a voice coming from right behind him.
"quite an interesting set up."
he turned to face the man, scrambling to stand up. even when he did, the stranger was taller than he was.
"um... thank you," he said, uncertain whether they meant it as a compliment, but not knowing how else to react.
they bent down and reached around him, grabbing the doll, and embarrassment flooded through him as they gently brushed it off. it must have belonged to them.
"may i see the photos?" they asked, looming over him.
"if you want to..."
he preferred to turn and show them himself instead of giving them the camera, but having them lean over his shoulder made it feel like they were breathing down his neck.
they didn't seem upset, at the very least.
"these are very nice. is there any way you could send these to me?"
that wasn't the response he was expecting.
"i... i guess if if i had your email or something, i could send it there... or, i'm on the way to the library, i could print some."
"oh, i would like that, if you don't mind. i can pay you."
"you don't have to, i was taking those pictures anyway... and i mean, i was messing with your doll without permission, too."
"we can discuss this as we walk."
"right..."
he only noticed as they began walking that they were holding a few books under their arm.
they were dressed nicely, wearing a turtleneck and a long coat. it was just starting to get cold enough for him to wear long sleeved shirts. their clothes must have been a bit warm.
"i was on the way to the library myself, to return these. i was too focused on the books, so i hadn't noticed when she fell out of my pocket."
"is there any particular reason you brought her outside?"
"i just wanted to bring one of my dolls with me. i thought perhaps i would take some pictures with her myself, actually. they would have just been with my phone camera. but, you know, it could be fun setting her up in the library, making her look like she's reading, that sort of thing."
"so you collect dolls?"
"yes. i like them quite a lot."
"i'm surprised you didn't mind me getting cobwebs all over her, then."
"oh, not at all. i wouldn't have brought her out if i wasn't prepared for her to get a bit dirty in the first place. and it's an interesting idea, anyway. i would have never considered taking pictures like that."
"i see."
jim's idea of collectors had always been the people who kept things in boxes and obsessed over everything being in perfect condition. that's how he probably would have been if he had taken up a hobby like that. even his camera wasn't especially fancy or expensive, because if it was, he knew he would never want to use it. he was only able to take those pictures because he didn't know or care about the doll himself.
so it struck him as odd, that someone who likes their dolls so much would be so happy to see one caught in a web, being photographed by some random person. for all they knew, he could have been a complete pervert.
he supposed they could be a pervert, too.
he wondered what sorts of books they were returning. as soon as they arrived at the library, he made a beeline to the computers, so he forgot to take a look.
the photos printed out alright, even if they might have been nicer with a bit of editing and touch ups. he still wasn't good at that sort of thing, and he wasn't going to mess with it on the library computers, anyway, so it would have to do.
"here," he said quietly. "it's not the best, but..."
they looked at it for a moment without saying anything, then smiled. "you really do have an eye for this sort of thing."
"well, i'm glad you think so."
"how much do you want for it?"
"i don't need money for it. i would have taken those pictures anyway. i don't even know how much something like that is supposed to be worth."
"it is still art, isn't it?"
"this is just something i do as a hobby."
"hmm." they stared back down at the pictures. "and what if i commissioned you?"
"to take pictures of your dolls?"
"yes."
"i'm sure there are professionals with more experience who you can hire for that."
"i am not asking if you think it is a wise decision on my part, i am asking if you would like to do it. it's alright to say no, if you don't want to."
he'd never even considered something like that. he didn't think his photography was bad, necessarily - he liked some of his own work, but he was still a complete amateur. the idea that he could be paid real money just to play around with his camera was absurd.
not that he didn't want to do it. he had been between jobs for a while, with plenty of free time, and could use some extra money.
"i could... try it, at least. do you want to take some pictures here?"
"actually, i was thinking we could exchange contact information. i'd like some photos of my nicer dolls."
"like the ones at your house?"
"yes, if that's alright."
"alright."
"ah, i am adrianus, by the way. i realize i hadn't introduced myself."
"right. i'm jim." they had an interesting name. it was fitting, with how eccentric they seemed already. "...how do you spell that?"
adrianus helped him type it into his phone, and they finally parted ways. it had gotten later than he expected. he was thankful his schedule was so open lately.
stepping up to their door, he realized that he couldn't recall a single other time in his life when he visited a relative stranger's house on his own. it wouldn't be unheard of for other people, he supposed - some people meet each other at bars or on hookup apps. to him, though, it was a completely foreign concept.
he could only really compare it to fiction. this whole situation could have been the set up to something akin to dracula, or the most dangerous game, maybe.
he knocked on the door.
the moment after knocking seemed to stretch on forever. what if he had the wrong house? had he forgotten anything? this was the time and date they had agreed on, wasn't it? was the whole thing a scam? no, they were the one who insisted on paying him. were they a serial killer? they probably wouldn't have any reason to target him. did they hire him to take pictures of their victims?
...was he really asking himself if they were a serial killer?
the door finally opened. "hello, jim. you can come right in."
they had been wearing a similar outfit to the last time he saw them, but with no coat, and fuzzy slippers instead of shoes.
jim stepped inside, kicking off his own shoes out of habit. he hesitated for a moment. they probably didn't want him tracking dirt around their house, but it made it feel much less like he was here to work. was he getting too comfortable?
"is something wrong?"
he pushed his shoes aside. they were already off, so he wasn't going to awkwardly shove his feet back in. "no, i'm fine. you can lead me to wherever you want me to take the pictures."
"we could sit down for a bit and discuss ideas first, if you'd like. i am curious about your creative process."
"it really isn't complicated. i just like taking pictures of spiderwebs and other little things i see on my walks."
"but how do you choose the angles, and adjust the settings, and everything?"
"i don't know, i just find whatever looks right. i told you, i'm not a professional."
they put a hand on his shoulder, a gesture that felt oddly intimate.
"you really should relax before you get started. there's no need to put so much pressure on yourself."
"you're paying me. if this is a job, i can't just do whatever i--"
"you're so stubborn, aren't you?" their voice was calm, quiet.
he didn't know how to react to that. he felt warm - was he blushing?
they spoke slowly and gently. "let's think of the payment as separate from the task i'm giving you. let's say that you're just doing me a favor. if it's money that's the problem, i can repay you with food, or something, instead. how does that sound? does that sound better?"
he stared for a moment, unable to think of a response, unable to really think of anything at all. "yes," he said, almost automatically.
they withdrew their hand. "i'm glad. here, i'll show you the doll room."
he followed them, taking in more of their house. it felt a bit old-fashioned, and more on the fancy side, but not to the point where it was unapproachable. he wondered if the furniture had been passed down from older family members and was just well maintained, or if they actively looked for some antiques to buy themself.
they stopped at a door in the hallway, opening it only just enough for both of them to walk in, and quickly closing it behind him. something about the urgency of it felt strange, but he didn't even think to ask about it.
the dolls themselves did look nice. or, high quality, at least. there weren't actually as many as he expected. it seemed like maybe about 15-20, at a glance. there were some dollhouses, miniatures, and props, as well. it was mostly organized, but less pristine than he was imagining.
there was an area off in the corner that seemed to be for sewing and storing clothes and accessories, which had some scraps of cloth and other miscellaneous items sitting around, as well as a mostly featureless doll that seemed to be a work in progress.
there was a mannequin in the room, too. he'd never considered the idea that someone would own a mannequin and just put it in their house, but he supposed it was basically just a giant doll.
"do any of these catch your eye?" adrianus asked.
it was hard to have much of an opinion on something like this. he wasn't particularly knowledgable about or interested in dolls, or fashion, or anything. it was another thing that made him feel he wasn't very well suited to this job - favor. it was a favor.
"i'm not sure," he replied, not wanting to just say no.
"it might help if you look more closely. you like the little details, don't you?"
"why does it matter which ones i like, though? shouldn't i be focusing on the ones you like?" even saying that, he stepped closer to inspect them.
"i think it will be easier to work with the ones that you like. and besides, i like all of them, anyway. they are my dolls, after all."
looking more closely, he did appreciate that they all seemed to have their own styles. he expected to just see long hair and frilly dresses. these were less like the stereotypical image of a doll in his head, and more like... small people. stylized and exaggerated people, and one of them actually seemed to be some sort of animal, but still.
"if i had to pick, maybe this one," he said, pointing to one with a gothic sort of style. technically it did have long hair and a frilly dress, but he liked the black and white color scheme of the clothes, and it was interesting to him how the hair looked sort of unkempt - clearly intentionally so. its eyes had dark circles drawn under them.
"very interesting," adrianus murmured. they had been closer to him than he realized while looking at the dolls. "you know, you have such an unassuming style on the outside, but your tastes seem so gothic."
"do they?"
"your fascination with spiderwebs feels that way, too."
"i wouldn't call it a fascination."
they just smiled. "oh, actually, i did create a web of my own. i thought it might be a fun prop for you to work with." they pulled some threads off of the table, tied and woven together into a classic spiderweb shape.
jim held it in his own hands, examining it.
"what do you think?"
"it's definitely better than the fake webs you'd find at a halloween store. it's not completely realistic, but..."
"it should at least be easier to work with. and it won't stick to the dolls."
"right."
something about the fact that it was manmade was interesting. spiders made their webs to capture things. this was just about the idea of a web, the aesthetic. this web wasn't going to catch any prey.
he looked at the way it wrapped around his fingers.
"i can work with this," he said.
he was used to taking photos on his own, and normally would have been frustrated by having someone else involved with it, but he let adrianus handle the doll. they were pretty good at understanding what he wanted, whenever he asked them to adjust or move something, and even had some good ideas of their own. really, it felt like they were the one doing most of the work.
as he watched them pull the web around the doll in various ways, it did make him wonder why, exactly, they enjoyed this. they had the same attitude and demeanor as always, and the poses they were putting it in weren't especially suggestive - they didn't ask him to take any up skirt shots, or anything like that. even the doll itself was modest. its dress was long, and its chest was entirely flat.
still, he felt very aware of the fact that this could be a fetish. it wasn't really any of his business, and it wouldn't have bothered him if that was the appeal for them, but it was the uncertainty that made the idea stick in his mind. maybe it was inappropriate for him to think about it. they were more or less a stranger to him.
it didn't matter, as long as they were happy with it.
at the very least, he was satisfied with his own work in the end, which was the main thing he had been nervous about. they had insisted on treating him to some tea and cookies afterward, and it was a bit easier to accept when he felt like he earned it.
adrianus looked through some of the pictures on his camera as they sat across the table from him. he couldn't help but try to read their expression. they seemed pleased, but that's sort of how they always looked to him.
"these turned out very well," they said. "i would still be willing to pay with actual money, of course."
"it's fine, really."
"would you be willing to print these out, too?"
"i can send them to you, and you can get them printed."
"i suppose that's true. is there any reason you don't want to do it yourself?"
"i'm not going to go show someone a bunch of creepy doll bondage pictures and ask them to print them for me."
"you find them creepy?"
"well, i don't really care, but i don't know what some random stranger will think of it."
"of course. i would be surprised if you were bothered by it. you seemed quite relaxed when taking those pictures."
"i guess it's nice having something like that to focus on."
they smiled. "i am curious about your thought process behind these things, though. were you really only thinking about what looked good?"
"pretty much." he certainly wasn't going to tell them what he had actually been pondering for half of the session.
"i just wondered if this symbolized or represented anything for you."
thinking back, he had considered something like that on his walk the other day. it wasn't particularly deep to him, though, so it hardly felt worth mentioning. "not really. does it represent something to you?"
"it does. it's very interesting to me. you know, dolls are often used to represent control, or really, being controlled, in media. if someone is compared to a doll, it's a way of objectifying them. but when it comes to people who like dolls, typically the point is to make them seem like actual people. to give them their own styles and personalities, and bring them to life. even if i don't mind the creepy connotations that dolls have for most people, i am more interested in letting my dolls feel like individuals, myself."
he nodded along, a bit surprised at how prepared they were for the question.
"but then," they continued, "spiderwebs are also used to symbolize control and manipulation. the idea of taking a doll, and giving it that life, but still having that power over it... it's very compelling to me. to make it look like something that could move and walk all on its own, only to trap it. it would only be considered trapped if it was capable of moving on its own in the first place, wouldn't it?"
"i guess so."
"and yet, the doll is smiling. i'd like to think that, even if its head is mostly empty, it can enjoy the situation. maybe it has no choice but to enjoy the situation."
"does it count as enjoyment if you don't have a choice?"
"if the feeling is real, why wouldn't it?" they took a sip of their tea. "of course, i am only talking about dolls here. you can really imagine them however you'd like. it is not the same for actual people, obviously."
he didn't think the sorts of pictures he took completely on a whim could have that much meaning to someone. it was a strange concept, too. he wasn't sure he fully understood what they meant by it. were the dolls supposed to be like actual people with their own feelings, or not?
he sipped his own tea. it was nice, probably chamomile, although he didn't have tea very often and hadn't tried very many varieties, so he wasn't confident in that assessment. as he recalled, a lot of teas marketed for relaxation had chamomile in them, so it could have been mixed with something else.
it struck him, very suddenly, how much they had been urging him to relax and get comfortable. he glanced back up at them, and realized they had been staring at him the entire time.
well, that wasn't actually weird. they were just better at making eye contact than he was. it only felt like staring to him.
just when he wondered whether he should say something, they turned away. "ah, look who's finally awake."
a small, black cat trotted over to them, rubbing against their outstretched hand.
"this is my shadow beast, or shadow, for short," they said.
it was a cute cat. he watched as they scratched its head, cooing at it in a tone that wasn't actually very different from their normal speaking voice. a bit softer, maybe. sort of how they sounded earlier, when they told him not to think of this as a job.
they looked back at jim. "i always have to keep the doll room closed, because if i don't, he will knock everything over. he's quite a troublemaker sometimes..."
"cats love to be in places they're not supposed to be."
"it's true. he usually runs over the instant he hears me open the door. but, he must have been sleeping quite deeply today."
he reached his own hand out, urging shadow over, and letting him sniff it before gently petting him.
"would you be willing to come back and do this again?"
the cat rubbed against his hand, trying to pull it closer to him with his paw.
it was sort of unfair of them to ask something like that while he was petting such a sweet cat.
"i guess so."
"not as a job, of course. actually, i've enjoyed just talking with you like this."
"thank you, i'm glad. i mean, i've enjoyed it, too."
"i'd like to be friends."
their straightforwardness had caught him off guard. he didn't think people usually just went out and said something like that. then again, he wasn't sure when the last time he had made a new friend was.
"we can be friends."
it became a regular thing, visiting their house, taking pictures, sitting at the table and talking. even as he got to know them better, they still seemed sort of mysterious to him.
maybe he liked their quirks, though. he didn't feel pressured to act normal around them. besides that, it made his visits a bit more interesting and unpredictable.
the photoshoots didn't always involve spiderwebs, although they often had some form of bondage or some theme of getting stuck. it didn't feel like adrianus was pushing him in that direction - they had always given him other options and thrown some more normal suggestions out there, and when he went for those instead, they never seemed disappointed, or anything.
but, it was sort of just practical to have props that held the doll in place. they could stand and sit on their own if you positioned them correctly, but there was always the risk of knocking them over, or placing them in a way that wasn't balanced well enough.
it was notable how good adrianus was at tying them up. the only part that seemed like a puzzle for them was taking into account the ball joints. even as they had gotten closer as friends, he didn't feel like asking about it. it didn't feel relevant, anyway.
but he had asked, at one point, about the featureless work-in-progress doll that he saw on their desk, which had remained in the exact same unfinished state weeks after his first visit.
"ah, yes. i wasn't sure what to do with that one. i've had an idea for a while, but... i'm not sure about it."
"what is it?"
"i thought about modeling it after you. but i wasn't going to do that without asking, even if it might have been fun to see your reaction."
"why would you want to model it after me? i don't think i'd make a particularly good doll."
they almost laughed, the kind of sound you make when you just quickly breathe out. "well, perhaps that's exactly why. i like having a bit of variety, and i don't normally see dolls who look like you."
admittedly, he was curious how it would look. "i mean, i don't really care if you do that."
"so i have your permission?"
"you do."
"thank you. i may start that tonight, then."
it probably should have been more unsettling to him. someone having a doll that looks like you was just one of those stereotypically creepy things.
it didn't feel very sinister coming from them, though.
still, he thought a bit about their relationship to dolls during that photography session. he noticed, particularly when zooming in with the camera, the delicate way they handled them. there were a few times that he actually asked them to keep their hands in the shot, because he liked it better that way. of course, it helped that they had long, slender fingers, and their nails were always clean. but they could make the slightest, most subtle adjustments to the poses. it was that gentleness and level of control that really stood out to him.
it reminded him of the conversation they had before, about what these pictures represented to them. maybe it really was about control. the kind of control that takes care and effort. the kind of control that requires you to know and respect the limits of something.
to jim, control was always about what you didn't do, what you couldn't do. it was only when he compared himself to them that he realized he had never had much control at all.
they were excited to show him the doll they modeled after him once it was done, and he wasn't quite prepared for how odd of an experience it would be.
it was recognizably him. the strange thing was the expression. it wasn't smiling - which made sense, because he didn't tend to smile much himself. but it had a sort of dreamy look to it. it didn't look tired, the way he always looked in the mirror, or the way he must have looked in public whenever people asked him if he was alright, it looked sleepy. the way he might have looked wrapping himself in sheets fresh from the dryer. he didn't think it was an expression adrianus had ever seen him make.
and, maybe it was just because it was a doll, but it felt... empty. like there was nothing behind the eyes at all, not even the illusion of it.
was this how they saw him? or maybe how they wanted him to be?
"what do you think?" they asked. "it's not too late for me to make some little changes, if there's something you don't like about it."
he stared at it for a bit longer before answering. "you did a good job," he finally said, "it's just... what sort of... emotion is this supposed to be?"
"it's meant to look relaxed and happy. i like for all of my dolls to look like they're feeling good."
he remembered the thing they said about dolls having no choice but to enjoy something. it felt a bit weirder when the doll was meant to be him.
"i can change it, if it makes you uncomfortable."
did it make him uncomfortable? he wasn't sure what he was feeling. "it's fine," he said.
"would it be too strange to take some pictures of it?" they asked.
"no, i think we should. you worked hard on it."
the photos themselves were fine, but it was the process of setting them up that was different. for one thing, something about his doll made it much worse at standing or sitting up on its own than the others, so they had to be extra careful to make sure it wouldn't just slump over. that meant even more support and attention from adrianus than usual, and watching them hold and lift a small, limp body that resembled his was a bizarre experience, unlike anything he had ever felt before.
it might have been easier if they had used props to keep it in place, but adrianus hadn't even suggested using the webs or ribbon or any other sort of bondage this time, and jim wasn't going to suggest it himself. neither of them liked the look of doll stands, either.
the other thing was the way they had referred to the doll. they would say things like, "oh, you're slumping over again," and, "let me just fix your hair," and, "should i pose you like this?" as if the doll was him. it was a subtle thing, but the more he heard it, the more embarrassing it became.
he was aware they could have stopped, and in fact, they said it would be easy for them to repurpose the doll completely if he decided he wasn't comfortable with it anymore. even during the session, they continued to check up on him, asking if he was alright, asking if he wanted to continue. he said yes, every single time.
there was just something so interesting about it. he couldn't stop looking at it. it gave him some feeling he couldn't identify, something vague, something he didn't have the words for.
adrianus was actually the one to tell him to stop and put down the camera. "it will just be a moment," they said. "i'm just curious about something."
they told him to sit down, and they were strangely particular about it, urging him to lean back and not to stay on the edge of the seat. maybe they just wanted him to take a break, he thought. either way, he listened and did as he was directed.
they also sat down, right in front of him, and held the doll. "i just want you to watch this. if anything about this is too strange, or uncomfortable, i want you to let me know, and i will stop."
he nodded, even if he couldn't imagine what exactly could have warranted the reminder.
"i'm just going to pet your head now," they said, their voice slow, and soft. he watched as they gently ran their finger over the doll's hair. "how is that?"
they had his full attention. it felt good to watch, sort of... tingly. "that's nice," he said quietly, without thinking.
they continued to stroke its hair, with such small, delicate movements. their other hand held it up, a finger rested on the chin, preventing the head from falling. the doll's strange, glassy, vacant eyes stared back at him.
"you know," they murmured, "you look a bit like the doll right now. that expression..."
"do i?" he asked, not even glancing at their face.
"yes. how do you feel?"
he felt... sort of strange. he was very relaxed. "good," he heard himself say.
he blinked a few times, straightening himself up a bit. "i..."
"is everything alright?"
"it's fine, it's just... i'm kind of..." it was weirdly difficult to find the words. "i feel sort of tired and out of it, i guess."
they paused. "do you want to go and have some tea?"
"no, no, it's just..."
"it's alright," they said, touching the doll's hair again. he almost shivered. "it's alright to just relax, you know. i don't mind it if you're a little tired..."
he sank back into the chair.
"that's right..." they lightly scratched its scalp. "you look like you're slumping over a bit, too..."
he could have sworn that his body became a bit weaker when they said that. "am i?"
"just like the doll," they said.
chills ran down his spine. he sank back a bit more.
"very interesting." he heard them laugh quietly to themself. they positioned the doll upright. "now, sit back up. i don't want you to fall out of your chair."
he sat back up, his eyes widening.
"that is all. i just wanted to do a little experiment. how are you feeling now? a bit more alert?"
"yeah..." he blinked. his face was warm. he didn't feel that tingling sensation anymore, but he seemed very sensitive. "that was... that was interesting."
"it was."
"i guess it was like... asmr, basically. and that... what was it, the mirror neurons thing?"
they carefully set down his doll on the table behind them, out of his sight. "i suppose you could call it that."
"is there something else you'd call it?"
"trance, hypnosis, suggestibility. something more like that."
hypnosis? "all i did was watch you pet a doll."
"oh?" they put their hand back on the table. "then i suppose it wouldn't do anything to you if i did it again."
he stared, his heart beating faster.
"i'm only joking."
jim was silent for a moment. it was almost disappointing - no, unsatisfying. unfair. it wasn't that he wanted anything to happen, he just expected it. it was anticlimactic.
"i understand," they finally said, "that it was a fun little experiment. but, let's discuss that another time. i want to be sure we're on the same page, first."
"and we can't discuss it now?"
"let's make sure you're thinking clearly first, jim." they stood up. "shall we have some tea with caffeine in it, this time?"
"that's fine."
he had felt bothered by the idea that he wasn't thinking clearly earlier, but after being out of the room and talking with them normally for a while, he did have to admit that he was feeling much more like himself. the strange tiredness had mostly faded away.
the tea was good, too. it was similar to coffee. they had even made some tea sandwiches, going through all the trouble of cutting them up into perfect rectangles.
"i do apologize for earlier," adrianus said. "you just seemed so focused on the doll. i wanted to test that focus. i didn't realize you would react so strongly to it."
"it's fine, i mean, like i said, you didn't really even do anything."
"how do you feel about it now?"
"about what?"
"the way you felt. the things i said to you."
even thinking about it threatened to make his back tingle. "it was... i guess it was kind of intense. i've listened to asmr before, and it was kind of like that, but... i don't know."
"i know it must have been a very vulnerable feeling. being made to experience something like that in front of someone could feel violating."
"it didn't feel that way at all. i guess it was a little embarrassing... but it was... i mean, it was good."
"that's good. i enjoy talking and behaving in a way that others might find hypnotic, but, i feel i must be careful not to cross a line."
they always had been polite to him. more than they needed to be. it felt like they were always holding themself back.
he'd never really considered that they might have had some of the same anxieties he did, even though in retrospect, it felt obvious.
"you can be as hypnotic with me as you want," he said. "i'm not bothered by it."
they seemed to relax a bit, laughing in a way that was almost like a low rumble. "are you really sure about that?"
"i am."
they leaned forward. "even if it becomes difficult to tell which of your thoughts are your own? even if it becomes difficult to think of anything at all, sometimes?"
"yes," he said. they seemed to be joking and playing it up a little, but he answered in full seriousness.
"even if i'm able to turn you into a helpless little doll with just a few words, or a motion?"
his head started to feel fuzzy. "yes."
they backed up. "let's discuss this over text, later. and you can be the one to initiate the conversation."
"i really do mean it."
"i'd like to remove as much of the pressure as possible."
more than anything, he wanted to see the real them. he wanted to see what they were like when they were comfortable, when they could express themself freely.
maybe he also wanted to feel that tingling sensation again, just a little bit.
he spent a lot of time that night staring at one of the pictures he had taken, of the doll that looked like him, slumping over in adrianus' hands.
special thanks to @honeycollectswhump for her research on how much silver is worth
content: fantasy whump, magical whump, human (elf) trafficking whump, nonhuman whumpee, elf whumpee, lady whumpee, lady whumper, conditioned whumpee, implied minor whump, emotional whump, manipulation
Duchess followed Mistress across the winding corridors, her soft, barefoot taps on the pristine flooring barely audible when compared to Mistress' high-heels. She was dressed in a gown, not a super expensive one, but one that would accentuate her features to potential buyers. She was nothing but meat here. Nothing but decoration. Nothing but household help. Whatever the buyer wanted, Duchess would be.
When Mistress gave her that name, she didn't yet know she would turn out to be a subpar companion. Mistress had high hopes for her, and Duchess beat herself up every day for disappointing her. Her starting bid would be 300 pieces of silver. A substantial amount perhaps, if you considered living expenses, food, etc. But a meagre amount when purchasing a slave.
They soon arrived backstage, and Mistress unclipped Duchess' leash from her collar. It was a simple leather collar, signalling to everyone and everything that Duchess was not a very… royal companion after all.
"Go on," Mistress said, and as usual, Duchess couldn't really read her emotions. She wasn't very good with those things — another thing to lower her worth. A good slave should be able to read her master or mistress' emotions well, to adjust their behaviour accordingly. Duchess couldn't do that.
Still, she expected… something. Some sort of sadness that they were parting ways? Mistress had been her trainer all throughout her time in the mother house, and Duchess had developed affection for her. Maybe more than was healthy. Was it that outrageous to hope that Mistress would've developed some affection for her in return?
Even anger she could've dealt with. Duchess had made Mistress mad many more times than she could've counted. But she wasn't mad now. She wasn't hissing her words like a venomous serpent, she certainly wasn't yelling. She was simply… practical. One last order from Mistress before someone would buy her and be her new owner.
So Duchess did what she was trained to do: she obeyed.
She stepped out onto the stage, immediately blinded by the harsh lights. She stepped on the hem of her floor-length dress, and managed to trip over herself, landing on all fours on the stage's wooden floor with a thump. She felt her face heat up with shame. She wasn't only bringing shame to herself, but to Mistress as well.
She didn't expect it from an audience of high-standing members of society, most of whom she imagined as stuck-up, but there were some giggles. Maybe this was good? Maybe she was endearing herself to them? Maybe they'd pay more for a clumsy, ditzy companion?
Duchess swallowed and quickly got back onto her feet, facing the crowd. She dusted off her dress and straightened her back, giving the audience her best smile despite the humiliation. Her pointy ears were constantly moving, picking up every little sound, and she heard some murmurs in the crowd.
"…cute…"
"…useless…"
"…pretty…"
She was all of those things, for sure. Mistress made sure she was all done-up and pretty for the auction. Duchess felt a little more at ease, knowing that at least some people in the audience were bound to bid.
"Our next slave to be sold is Duchess," the auctioneer said, his voice magically amplified. "The starting price is 3000 pieces of silver!"
Duchess turned to him, whispering sharply, lest she be blamed for the misunderstanding. "300," she said. "It's 300."
The auctioneer looked at her, then looked back at the paper in front of him. "Oh," he said. It was clear he judged Duchess very differently now. "My apologies. The starting price is 300 pieces of silver!"
More murmurs in the crowd. People wondering if she was defective.
"A pure-blooded female elf, only 42 years of age, with delicious blood and a basic understanding of magic as well!" the auctioneer went on, trying to make her sound better than she really was. Duchess wanted to believe it. That she was better. But the leather collar around her neck was a testament to her low value.
"300," someone shouted, and Duchess relaxed a little. It may not be a lot of money, but any money going to Mistress was better than nothing.
"320!"
"330!"
The price kept going up. Duchess was beginning to feel hopeful. Maybe she wouldn't be useless, maybe she would make Mistress proud, maybe, maybe—
"400!"
The room fell silent.
Duchess' smile fell a little.
Was that… it? Was that the end of the bidding? Was 400 pieces of silver for her really that outrageous that nobody even uttered a word in response? Even the auctioneer seemed a little shocked before he went on.
"400 once!"
Please.
"Twice!"
Just a little more.
"Sold! Please come backstage to collect your new slave, ma'am."
Duchess couldn't help it. She hung her head in defeat and embarrassment, knowing Mistress would at most get 200 pieces of silver from this bid. She had tried so, so hard to be good, to live up to her name, to be a good companion, a good slave, a good servant. And she had failed. She walked off the stage and found Mistress standing near the stairs.
"400 is not bad," Mistress said, and yet again, Duchess didn't know whether she was trying to console her, herself, or both. She clipped the leash back to her collar and led her to a small room, where her new owner was waiting.
"Good evening," Duchess said with a little curtsy. "My name— You already know my name."
"Duchess, was it?" The woman stood up. She looked strict. She walked over and hooked a finger under Duchess' chin, tilting her head up, then to the side, and the other side. "400… It's a steal. Just what makes you so undesirable?"
"I am not very good at most things," Duchess admitted. "I'm sorry."
There was no point in pretending anymore, or trying to play up her talents. She had already been bought.
"You two will have a lot of time to get acquainted," Mistress cut in, indirectly urging the woman to pay the price and get Duchess out of the room.
"Of course," she said easily. "Hollow, give her the money."
Hollow — a spirit, no doubt from the way they suddenly just materialised out of thin air behind the woman — grabbed a heavy looking bag and dragged it over to Mistress. Mistress counted the money, weighed each piece on her scale, and when she was satisfied, grabbed the bag like it weighed nothing and left the room without saying goodbye. Duchess really, really wanted to say goodbye.
"My name is Amelia," the woman introduced herself. She gently unclipped the leash from Duchess' collar and gave it to Hollow, who grabbed it and slunk back into the shadows, invisible. "Tell me, Duchess… What earned you the name?"
"I was taken in very early in life, miss. And as an elf, Mistress thought I would grow up to be a very good companion slave. Mistress isn't wrong about many things. I was unfortunately one of them."
Miss Amelia smiled. "You talk very poorly of yourself. Hollow was like that when I first took them in. But you'll learn soon enough that the auction house's definition of 'good' isn't always the standard at other places."
"I would love for you to be satisfied with your purchase, miss," Duchess said sincerely. "I'm just…"
Suddenly, the emotions of the auction caught up with her. The embarrassment of having tripped on stage, the shame of having to correct the auctioneer, the grief of having to part with Mistress… She just teared up. She tried to quickly wipe them away before Miss Amelia noticed, but of course, standing so close as they were, there was no way to hide it.
"There, there," Miss Amelia said. "Hollow, give me a handkerchief."
Hollow materialised again to hand it to her, and Duchess wondered just how many things Hollow had on hand. Miss Amelia gently dabbed her tears away, smiling warmly.
"How about we go home, and I'll see just how bad of a companion slave you are?"
"Miss doesn't believe me," Duchess concluded. Miss Amelia's smile didn't falter. She didn't even scold her for speaking her mind like that, or accusing her of things like this.
"I don't. Come, let's get you situated."
—
Duchess was walking through the enormous kitchen, snagging a muffin here, a cupcake there. Miss Amelia's good servants certainly understood their work, and they performed appropriately. Miss Amelia was expecting company today, and Duchess was already in her dress, feeling like a princess. Or, well, a duchess.
When she tried to take another cupcake, one of the servants smacked her hand away.
"Those are for Sir Dorian," she chided.
"I know, I just… Isn't it okay to taste-test?"
Duchess got along well with the servants, and this one eventually relented as well.
"Fine. Just don't get frosting all over your lips."
Duchess giddily took another cupcake and hurried out of the kitchen, into the parlour. Miss Amelia was sitting in her armchair, idly conversing with one of her friends on the phone. Duchess, not wanting to disturb her, approached Hollow instead. She had gotten really good at spotting them, even when they were hiding.
"Hollow, do you think Miss Amelia will allow me to speak with the guests?"
Hollow materialised, their cover having been blown anyway. They shrugged.
"I really want to. I've heard there are going to be elves coming! Well, maybe they won't appreciate me giving their entire species a bad name by being such a lousy companion… Maybe they wouldn't want to talk to me at all."
Hollow didn't reply. They never did. Sometimes, Duchess wondered whether they were even capable of speech. But they didn't really need words — their expression said it all.
"You're right. Miss Amelia never demeaned me, and she even gave me this beautiful collar. If they think I'm bad representation, they're simply wrong. Just because some elves are slaves, that doesn't mean the stuck-up royals get to be all…" She trailed off. Miss Amelia had put the phone down. "Miss Amelia!" she beamed, leaving Hollow and going to be with her mistress. "I taste-tested the cupcakes. I'm sure your guests will love them."
"Thank you, Duchess," she said with a smile. "I can always count on you."
Duchess giggled a little. Miss Amelia always knew what to say to lift her spirits. Just like Hollow. Just like the other servants. Life at Miss Amelia's house almost made her forget about Mistress.
"Is everything alright?" she asked, and Duchess realised she must've let her emotions show. She didn't like to feel nostalgic. It felt like a guilty pleasure. When life was so good here, why did her mind still wonder back to the mother house?
"Yes, miss. I'm sorry, miss."
"Nobody did anything to hurt you, did they?"
"Oh, no! Not at all! Everyone has been very kind, as always."
"Then is there a problem with your attire? You don't feel confident in it?"
"No, it's beautiful. I'm sure miss' friends will marvel at it."
"Then what is it, Duchess?"
There was no way she could lie to Miss Amelia. Not only because she could always tell, but because she couldn't handle it emotionally. Miss Amelia had been so good to her, it would've been severely unfair.
"I… I still… miss Mistress sometimes," she admitted quietly.
"Oh," Miss Amelia said softly. "I see."
"But not because miss hasn't been kind to me! I've gotten everything I could've ever dreamed of here! I would never dare be ungrateful, I don't know why my stupid, no-good mind wanders—"
"It's okay, Duchess," she said placatingly. "Duchess, do you mind stepping out for a brief moment? I have to make a call."
"Oh. No, of course, I'll be going, then."
Miss Amelia had never just sent her away after admitting to her feelings like that. It was a little strange, but she didn't have the right to question her owner. She went back to the kitchen, chatting with the staff a little until the guests arrived. Then, she walked back into the parlour.
She heard impressed murmurs from everywhere around her. Some were complimenting her complexion, some her hair, some her dress, and some the collar adorned with gems that Miss Amelia had given her right upon arriving home, in place of the leather one. Duchess felt like she was shining.
And although she could count the guests and make the conclusion that everyone had already arrived, there was a ring from the direction of the door.
"Duchess, could you get that for me?" Miss Amelia called. Duchess pointed a finger at her own chest in question. Miss Amelia nodded with a smile.
Duchess walked over to the front door and opened. And on the other side, there stood…
"Mistress!" Duchess squealed.
Mistress even gave her one of her rare smiles. "Hello, Duchess."
Duchess looked around, like she expected this to be a prank, an illusion, someone playing a cruel trick on her. "Mistress, it's really you?"
"Amelia called and asked if I wanted to drop by," she explained. "And I would never say no to such an invitation."
"Did you… Did you come for Miss Amelia, or because…" She didn't dare finish the sentence. She didn't dare be so presumptuous.
Mistress reached out, and Duchess flinched a little — but all she did was place a hand on the top of her head. Not ruffling her carefully arranged hair, but just petting a little. "Of course I came to see you."
Duchess lit up. "Have you ever been to Miss Amelia's house before?" she asked excitedly. "I could show you around! And Hollow could come as well! Mistress, I have so much to tell you!"
That was the beginning of a very fun afternoon, where Mistress was kind, all other guests might as well have disappeared to Duchess, and she just talked and talked and talked and Mistress listened.
And at the end of the afternoon, when it was time to say goodbye, Duchess didn't dare go in for a hug. In all her years spent at the mother house, she had never hugged Mistress. But to her surprise, Mistress embraced her by the door.
"You are doing very well, Duchess," she whispered. "I'm proud of you."
Tears immediately sprung to Duchess' eyes. "You… You are? Even though I was… so… cheap?"
"It is clear that we have all undervalued you." She pulled away and smiled at her. "Good girl, Duchess."
Duchess gave her a teary smile. "Thank you, Mistress. Thank you so much."
Duchess felt a hand on her shoulder, and when she looked, it was Miss Amelia. "Duchess, would you mind fetching me a glass of water? I'm parched. I'll see her out."
"Of course!" Duchess said, almost tripping over her pretty dress as she ran to complete the order.
And when she came back, clearly quicker than expected, she caught sight of Miss Amelia handing a bag of… money to Mistress. She froze. Had this all been… a play? Had this really all been a trick?
The glass almost slipped from her hand. Miss Amelia turned and realised she was there, and her face fell. "Oh," she breathed. "You were… very quick."
Tears slipped down Duchess' cheeks. She forced a smile anyway. "Your water, miss."
Mistress put the bag away, not really knowing what to say or how to react. That was rare. "Well, I don't suppose I have to keep up the act, then," she said awkwardly.
"No," Duchess said before Miss Amelia could've said a word. Bad servant, cutting off her mistress. "Thank you for coming, Mistress. I hope it was worth it."
With that, she shoved the glass of water into Miss Amelia's hand, and ran off.
We love a nice gun barrel used to brush Whumpee’s hair out of their face. We love when the cold metal passes over a bruise and presses down gently, drawing out a wince or a groan.
The social forces that prevent you from being able to admit to your own desires in the safety of your own mind are far more evil than any desire you could have.
Unacted desires are fundamentally neutral, and you can't decide what to do about the things you want unless you can admit to yourself what they are in the first place. Everyone has desires that would hurt other people if they acted on them, but most people would not actually go out and do anything they know would cause harm. Far more harm is done in this world by people who are trying to pretend they can't possibly want anything they think is bad than people running around going "ehehehe I love hurting people!"
All of us have a hungry, horny, angry, scared animal inside ourselves. You do not need to excuse or justify what that animal wants, it simply is. You cannot escape it. Lying to yourself about the animal that you are will only give you less control over it, not more.
It’s one of those wishes of goodwill that feels like it applies no matter what the person’s faith or culture or creed was.
Whoever you were, whatever you believed, I hope the earth is not too heavy on your bones or ashes. I hope the weight of this world (and all that came after) rests lightly upon you.
“See, they say they'll stop once you admit the truth, but that's not how it works. They can't tell what the truth is, so they just keep hurting you until they're satisfied you seem desperate enough. What you actually say doesn't matter- it's all in the delivery.”
one of the best parts of making up increasingly wild and specific aus with a friend is sending them posts like "this is sooo blorbo in torture chamber au number 15" and they reply back like "YESSS btw have i told you about my latest idea for how to torture them even more" and you get to enjoy a little snack and kick your feet with glee
i feel like something that's missing from some people's understanding of kink fiction and fantasy is, like... in fiction and fantasy, everything is in-scene.
when real people do kink in real life, you gotta do all that good out-of-scene stuff like discuss boundaries, set limits and expectations, check in with each other, do aftercare, et cetera et cetera et cetera... but in fiction, everything can be in-scene!
the people in that fanfic don't exist any more than, like, the make-believe sexy football star and make-believe sexy cheerleader in a couple's roleplay exist. that couple doesn't need to get into character and then pretend to be a sexy football star having an important consent conversation with a sexy cheerleader, because that's a conversation that's already happened out-of-scene and out-of-character. (i mean, if you're into in-character negotiations, chase your bliss.) when they're in that scene, they can just pretend to be a sexy football star having sex with a sexy cheerleader. that's okay.
so like. when fiction does kink in a way that would be unsafe or harmful irl... just keep in mind that you're not watching actual people neglecting check-ins or ignoring their set contract or genuinely harming each other. you're watching a scene without the behind-the-scenes bits, and that's okay.
this has gotten a couple replies along the lines of "yeah, you can just assume the characters worked all the important consent stuff out when you weren't looking!" which is true in some cases, but not the point i was trying to make, so please bear with me while i try to rephrase myself.
when i say in fiction, everything is in-scene, i mean that the fiction IS the scene.
if someone went up to their partner and said "hey, wouldn't it be sexy if we pretended you were manipulating and controlling me in an unethical way for sex reasons?", and then they talked through all the good and necessary consent and risk-awareness things, and then they played that scene out - that's a made-up scenario where pretend bad things happen, but no real-world people come to real-world harm, right?
now, if someone writes a story where one character manipulates and controls another in an unethical way for sex reasons... that, too, is a made-up scenario where pretend bad things happen, but no real-world people come to real-world harm.
kink fiction doesn't have to be about characters consciously and conscientiously Doing Kink. kink fiction can be stories where the kinky things people fantasize about or roleplay (but wouldn't want to happen in real life) do happen in the universe of that story. because the story is a scene.
the doll rain customized to look like herself sat in her clear bag as she knocked on the door. it was hard for her to put herself out there like this, but if there happened to be other people who liked dolls nearby, she figured she shouldn't pass up the opportunity.
the person who answered the door wasn't anything like she expected - it was a man wearing plain clothes.
"oh, it's a new person," they said. "you can come in. you even have a doll with you? that's cute."
she would have thought everyone would have one. "yeah, it's..."
she stopped in her tracks, freezing in the doorway, struck with the feeling that she misunderstood something.
"um, this is... this is for... like... people who make custom dolls and stuff... right?"
their eyes widened, as another, more serious looking man stepped toward both of them.
"i told you we should have been clearer," he said.
"sorry," she said quickly. "i must be in the wrong place. i just, i guess i misread something, or..."
"it was our fault for not being explicit enough," he said.
"well we put more details in the description-"
"but the club name wasn't clear, and there's another doll club that someone could get mixed up with ours," he interrupted. "sorry," he said to rain. "this isn't what you were looking for. i didn't want something like this to happen, but... i guess at least we caught the misunderstanding right away."
it was discouraging running into such an awkward situation right when she was trying to be more social, right when she finally mustered up the courage to go out and meet people like this. "i guess i'll just... go, then?"
a third person, the last person in the room, yet another man, stepped closer to all of them. he was taller than the other two, and seemed very calm, especially considering the bizarre situation they were all in. "well, we're actually just having some tea and snacks at the moment, anyway. you could have some, too, if you'd like. it's cold outside today, so you should at least take some time to warm up before you leave. we can just resume our club activities afterward."
"well, if i'm not like, intruding..."
as awkward as she felt, she really didn't want to just turn around and go back home after making her way here. even if it was a little weird hanging out with complete strangers who didn't even share an interest with her.
she sat down with them, and they all introduced each other. the person who answered the door was shark, the serious person was jim, and the calm one was adrianus. the tea was good, there were cookies, the couches were comfortable, and they were all nice and polite and understanding to her - instead of talking to each other and leaving her to just sit there silently, they made small talk about things like the weather that she could participate in, and complimented her doll. they made more effort to include her, a random person who wasn't even going to join their club, than a lot of her friends ever did.
but she still had to wonder what their club actually even was.
"so, like... i know i was apparently wrong about what you actually do here, but like... you've all been really vague about that," she said quietly.
"well," jim said quickly, as if to stop the others from having a chance to respond, "it's not necessarily something you need to know. i feel like just telling you would be involving you on some level..."
"you're making it sound really ominous," shark said. "you're making it sound like it's illegal or something."
"well, obviously it isn't," he responded. "it's just weird. i don't know, just saying it in this context..."
"i mean, she's asking."
"would you like to know?" adrianus asked her directly. "it is something you might find a bit creepy."
she felt like if she went home without knowing, she'd never stop wondering about it. "well, you can tell me..."
"it's about hypnotizing people," adrianus said gently. "hypnotizing people to become dolls."
her mind went blank. it wasn't really that it bothered her, she just had no idea how to react.
"hypnotizing people to become dolls?" she repeated.
"yes," he simply responded. "or, to become like dolls, at least. to be still. sometimes limp, or sometimes holding whatever pose they're placed in. often while feeling sort of blank and empty."
"i feel like you're giving too much detail," jim said. "she didn't ask to hear all of that..."
"i mean, it's fine," she said quickly. "i mean, like, i'm not... i don't have a problem with it, i just..." what could she even say? it was sort of creepy to imagine, but there wasn't anything outright sinister about it, exactly. "i'm just trying to process it," she said.
really, rather than being too much information, it just gave her more questions.
"so, like, you... who here... gets turned into a doll...? and who's... who's the one doing it?"
"you know, i really would've thought anyone could tell that adrianus is a hypnotist," shark said.
"well, it isn't always adrianus," jim responded. "i've hypnotized you before, too."
"usually i hypnotize both jim and shark," adrianus said.
she had kind of figured - it was true that adrianus gave off a certain vibe, and seemed in control of things. it was more that it was hard to imagine shark and jim being turned into dolls. it was weird, really, seeing these relatively normal people casually hanging out, and then learning about those dynamics.
"so you just... you turn them into dolls... but... why? i mean, after that, what do you..." she trailed off, wondering if this was even something she should be asking about.
"i can dress them up, pose them, talk to them, brush their hair, have a tea party... and at times, i can also wake them up, just to pull them back down again." he said it all so casually, as if he wasn't talking about treating the two people sitting with him like they were objects. "i can't really explain exactly why it's enjoyable to me," he added. "there's just something satisfying about seeing someone become completely still."
a chill ran down her spine.
"well, and, like, jim might get mad at me for saying literally anything about this," shark said, "but you know, we like it, too."
"why don't we address jim's concerns now?" adrianus asked. "rain, can we trust you to let us know if anything we say is too much, or you're uncomfortable with it? we can stop at any time, and you're also free to leave whenever you like."
she nodded. "i really am fine, though," she said. she wasn't even thinking of stopping the conversation - the whole thing was so weird that all she could think was that she wanted to know more.
"there," adrianus said, turning to jim. "does that make you feel any better?"
"i guess so," he said. "it is true that we like it, too. it isn't just for adrianus."
"but, like... all you're doing is just... sitting there?" she said.
"well i mean, it's nice to relax," shark responded. "and like... it just feels good to be hypnotized."
something about hearing someone casually say that was so strange. "like... it actually does?"
"what, you think i'm lying?" they asked. "or do you think he just made me say that, or something?"
"well, like... it just seems weird that it'd even feel like anything..." she said. "i've never even been sure if hypnosis is, like... real...? and i've heard that only some people can really be hypnotized..."
"i mean, it's mostly a subjective experience," jim said. "it's real in the sense that it's real to us, at least... whether anything special is happening or not. the hypnotizability scale is a whole different can of worms, but... well, really when they say only some people can be hypnotized, all they mean is that only some people perform well enough at the standardized tests to be considered 'highly hypnotizable.' basically anyone who's willing to cooperate and listen can go into trance, or at least subjectively feel like they're going into a trance, and can respond to basic suggestions and feel as if they're happening involuntarily. feeling as if you can't move is actually pretty simple for most people, i think. it's usually amnesia and hallucinations and that sort of thing that are difficult for most subjects."
"so being turned into a doll is, like... easy?"
"yeah, honestly," shark said. "well, staying that way is another thing. i mean, if a hypnotist just leaves you there, you might just get bored and wake yourself up. some people are into just being left there and will stay like that for a long time, but it takes a lot of convincing for me to stay like that, personally."
this stuff really was just normal for these people.
"i still don't really understand what you mean by it... feeling good, though."
"it's like asmr," shark said. "well, it's more than that, though. like it can feel tingly, but it's also like... you know, you feel heavy if the hypnotist says you feel heavy, you feel sleepy if they say you feel sleepy. and there's like, a kind of pull..."
"it does depend on the person, and the suggestions," jim added. "i mean, it can feel different for different people and in different contexts... but for me, at least, it does always feel good."
"a lot of it is just listening to the hypnotist's voice," shark said. "it's like, the tone they use, and the words, they just feel good to listen to."
"like, physically?" she asked.
"yeah, i can feel it."
as much as they talked about it like some normal, mundane thing, it did almost sound like magic when they actually described the feeling itself.
"you know," adrianus said, "you do seem quite curious about it. you could watch me hypnotize someone, if you'd like to see the process. i would keep it nice and simple."
she did really wonder how it worked, what it even looked like. "well, if you don't mind showing me," she said.
"not at all," he replied. "who should i demonstrate on, then?"
"i feel like jim's usually the one you use for stuff like this," shark said.
"that would be fine with me," jim responded.
"i mean, i don't really care who..." rain hesitated. it felt too wrong to say 'who you use.' "who gets hypnotized..."
"let's use jim then," adrianus replied.
jim sat directly next to him, very close, to the point where their legs were touching. adrianus snaked one of his arms around his back, holding both of his shoulders, and leaned close to his ear.
"there you go," adrianus said, his voice low and soft, almost dreamy sounding. "you like being used as a demonstration subject, don't you?"
"i do," jim answered blankly, his shoulders falling.
the intimacy of it sort of flustered her. she had wondered about... how sexual this was supposed to be.
besides that, jim's reaction seemed so immediate. she almost wanted to ask about that, but she didn't want to interrupt it or ruin it.
"very good," adrianus murmured. "i know you're eager to fall into a deep trance for me... you're already falling into trance now, aren't you?"
"maybe that's..." jim was muttering, his voice less dull than it had been a second ago, even though his eyes were staring straight ahead at nothing in particular. "i don't know if it's as good of a demonstration, if i just..."
"don't think about it," he said softly. "you're doing very well. you can fall quickly for me... you can just give in. we're just demonstrating how easy it can be..."
he slumped back, his eyes still glassy and empty and distant.
"that's it... there you go... letting go of all of your tension... going limp... becoming a doll for me."
she could see all of the tension leaving his body. adrianus even adjusted his position to properly hold him up. he was so limp that he really could have fallen to the side or slid down.
"it can take longer than this for a beginner," adrianus said, making eye contact with rain as he held jim and absentmindedly petted his hair, still speaking in the same hypnotic tone he had been using. "but jim has been hypnotized so many times, he really only needs permission. he's a very good subject."
his voice had sounded nice when it was directed at jim, too, but hearing him talk that way while looking directly at her felt different. the way he slowly stroked jim's hair was also sort of mesmerizing.
her face felt warm.
"do you have any questions?" he asked slowly.
right. she'd actually had a lot of questions...
"it... it really happens that quickly? like... he's really hypnotized right now?"
well, it was obvious just from looking at him, but it was still hard to believe.
"yes," he answered. "he's deeply hypnotized... and completely unable to move. he could move if he absolutely needed to... but otherwise, he won't, unless i make him move, or allow him to. he's like a doll right now."
shark turned to her. "he's not just explaining it to you," they said. "these are suggestions for jim, too. that's why he's still talking like that."
"that is true," adrianus admitted. "i don't think it would take him out of it if i spoke normally. but i know that it feels better for him, when i continue speaking like this. when i continue to tell him how limp and relaxed he is... how blank he is... how he's entirely unable to move... or even to think. but, then, if that's how he feels, it is the truth. so it works as an explanation for you, too, doesn't it? i'm explaining exactly how he feels. exactly what he is experiencing."
"you get what i mean about the voice?" shark said. "it does sound nice, doesn't it?"
even their tone had changed a little bit... or was she imagining it? it felt like everyone was talking in that weird, kind of dull voice. like the entire atmosphere of the room changed, and it was affecting all of them.
"well, it does sound kind of nice," she said quietly. "it feels kind of weird to listen to, though..."
"does it feel tingly?" adrianus asked.
it definitely did when he said that. it was such a bizarre question to hear, it caught her off guard. "i... i guess." she shifted in her seat, finally looking away from him. "it's like, you're, like... it's like you're going to hypnotize me just like this..." she meant it as a kind of joke, but at the same time, when she said it, she wondered if it was true.
"i hope it isn't too much. we can always stop," he said. "unless you'd like to be hypnotized..."
if he'd asked just a while ago, she would have said something about how she wasn't really sure she could be hypnotized, or how good she would be at it. but now that she was starting to feel kind of strange, now that it felt like the whole world had shifted around her, now that he was saying that in that slow, careful, hypnotic voice, it registered as a real offer, a real possibility.
"would you like to be hypnotized?" he asked.
she really was curious how it felt, and that wasn't something she could fully understand unless she felt it herself... still, if it felt this strange just watching him hypnotize someone and just hearing him talk like this in general, it seemed like it would be overwhelming having all of his attention directed at her, having him directly, intentionally hypnotize her.
at the same time, that did seem sort of exciting...
"i... maybe i would try it," she finally said.
"do you want to become a doll? just for a little while..."
well... she did also wonder if they really couldn't move. at the same time, she had to wonder if that was a fetish for him... she had to wonder what kind of pleasure he would get out of it.
but the thought that he would enjoy it like that... was kind of exciting, too.
"i'd try it," she said.
"would you like to stay where you are?" he asked. "or would you like to come closer, and sit with me?"
"i'll... i'll sit with you," she said, standing up and walking over, wondering if she was moving strangely, if it was more automatic than usual.
she sat next to him, but not as close to him as jim was.
"do you want me to hold you and murmur into your ear, like i did with jim?"
it was unfair for him to ask things like that. she wouldn't have just said that if he didn't ask, but when he was so direct, she had to answer... "i... i think so."
he carefully adjusted jim's position, freeing his arms.
before he held her, he slid her bag off of her shoulder, admiring the doll inside, and turning it to face her.
"you'll be just like this," he murmured, running his fingers along the side of the bag.
she didn't know why it flustered her so much. even the most basic, simple sentences seemed to really hit her, when he said them like that.
he gently set the bag down, before wrapping an arm around her back, pulling her just a bit closer.
just that light touch felt so much more sensitive than she expected.
"you seem quite susceptible," he remarked, talking right into her ear. "you haven't been conditioned the way jim has, but you've still reacted very quickly..."
"did i?" her heart was pounding.
"oh, yes," he murmured. "i could see it in your face... you were so focused... especially when we made eye contact. you felt it, didn't you?"
"i felt something, but... i don't know if it was..."
"you don't know," he said, his tone just a little more firm and dominating. "but i know."
her brain short circuited. there was no way she could even respond to that.
"you were very curious, too, weren't you?" he continued. "i thought you might want to be hypnotized when you asked so many questions about it... but i didn't want to rush you, or pressure you. but when you said that you felt like you might end up hypnotized, just by listening to me... i knew i wanted to hypnotize you, if you'd let me."
"you wanted to?"
"you're so tense..." he murmured, lightly rubbing her shoulders. "i'd like to help you relax... to help you relax so deeply... that you can't even move. that your body just goes limp... your mind is racing, too, isn't it? wouldn't it feel nice, if it just... slowed down... if you could just be a doll... if you didn't have to think about anything."
a strange sensation washed over her.
"it might even feel nice if you couldn't think about anything... what do you think about that? would you like that? are you curious how that would feel?"
how was she even supposed to answer that? even when she thought that, somehow the answer felt obvious.
"i am curious..." she muttered.
"good," he cooed. "then i'll help you feel that. you'll just be a doll... you'll be nothing more than a doll... that's all you're going to be."
as creepy as it was, the words felt so nice in her ear. in her brain. it almost felt too good, too indulgent, like she wasn't sure if anyone was even allowed to feel this much pleasure all at once. especially from someone who she'd only just met. it was... a little bit sexual. it didn't really even matter how he felt about it - if anything, she hoped he felt the same way, or else it'd only make her feel more awkward for being kind of into it. for almost hoping that every weird, creepy, perverted thing that she could have projected onto him in that moment was true.
"just relax for me," he murmured. "i know you're excited... but you need to relax... and no matter how excited you are... those feelings will gradually dull... they'll become quiet... and faded... after all... dolls can't have such strong feelings... can they? and your body needs to let go of all of its tension... to go completely limp... it's alright if it doesn't happen all at once... you can ease into it... just let yourself gradually change... gradually becoming a doll... more still, relaxed, and blank, every second..."
her body was relaxing. some of it was her trying to listen and cooperate, but... somehow it did sort of feel like it was happening on its own, especially as he spoke, especially when he said the word, "relax." and it kept happening, even when she thought she was as relaxed as she possibly could be.
"that's it," he said softly. "that's right... just like that... let your body react... all on its own... don't try to force it... just let it happen. just give in... you're becoming a doll. do you feel it?"
she wanted to nod, but her head didn't move. it wasn't even like she was trying, but just couldn't do it... it was like she couldn't try in the first place.
"very good," he said, pleased with her lack of an answer. "it's already getting difficult to move, isn't it? and that means it's only a matter of time until your mind will follow... even your thoughts will slow down... and eventually... they'll be completely still... unmoving... frozen... blank. you'll still be able to listen to my words... you'll still be able to feel... but other than that... you'll be little more than an object."
her mind felt trapped, like a bug caught in a web. it felt kind of good, but it surprised her how real it seemed. but even in her surprise, her expression didn't change, her body didn't move.
it really was like something was happening to her. it really was like she was becoming a doll.
"just keep listening," he droned. "feel the way your mind is becoming emptier with every word. don't worry... i have much more to say... even if it's happening very slowly... i'm sure by the time i'm done... there won't be anything left at all... i'll be very thorough... alright? you'll make such a good doll..."
her mind was already feeling fuzzy. he was holding her more tightly, holding her up, stopping her from falling, as he lightly stroked her hair.
maybe she came to the right place after all, she thought vaguely, before it became too difficult to really keep thinking about anything.
Whump reveal that happens when Whumpee is so tired/delirious/drunk that they accidentally type all of their "google searches" into messages to Caretaker rather than the actual search bar, so Caretaker wakes up to dozens of texts saying
"how bad is it if you get stabbed in x place"
"how important is your liver"
"why can't i stand up"
And when they text/call back, Whumpee is not replying.
