Intellectual Conversations

[intellectualconversations]

Morgan Freeman

T: Do you think Morgan Freeman is nice in real life?

[intellectualconversations]

What fruit should I end this convo with...

O: Oh hey there, It (at least seems) we have a lot in common! You got a GREAT selection of amazing TV shows you like. Arrested Development (may it rest in peace) is mayhaps my favorite TV show ever. Although 30 Rock is starting to gain ground on it. Alec Baldwin is amazing. If you like those two shows, perhaps try an AMAZING animated TV show called Archer. It's on FX! 

I don't think I'm a creep, (although I'll get a followup with Thom Yorke to confirm)... I'm also not a cheater! So I'm 3/3! I've never really done this whole online dating stuff, and I just realized how long this message is...I don't know how to end this... Pomegranate.

[intellectualconversations]

Surprise! There's a man...

J: OMGOMGOG

J: i heard something outside and i looked out my window

J: and there is a blackman in my yard

[intellectualconversations]

Beating > eating

T: wowooww mothers abuse children the most?! at 40.4% compared to 18.3% of fathers

C: i believe that because they're around the kids more

T: im going to beat you

C: wow, i thought you said you're going to eat me and i was scared

T: so beating.. not so scary?

C: nope

[intellectualconversations]

"No shame, desperate attempt"

J: Thien-Y, where are you!? I miss you! can you please come back to me so you, that little munchkin A, D and I can do fun stuff like get bagels and turn on porn in Apple Stores? Good talk. Biyyee.

[intellectualconversations]

Taken out of context...

L: So it's just crust, morsels and nuts...?

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Boat shoes bitch...

J: You have a boyfriend. I have boat shoes. We're even.

[intellectualconversations]

Inappropriate Super Bowl food?

T: i am not paying attn in class. as usual. i made a list of super bowl food. wings, quesadillas, bacon-wrapped shrimp, cheese fries, popcorn. tater tots, nachos

A: fried babies

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Sparknotes? REALLY?

T: what on earth were you doing on sparknotes, let alone sparknotes COMMUNITY

L: I was looking up Charlotte's Web for my class because I didn't want to actually READ it.

[intellectualconversations]

SLUT

D: Don't let them call you a slut

[intellectualconversations]

Business Law class fights...

D: Hi, I missed class on December 6th and 8th and was wondering if anyone could send me the notes for those days..? Note: Unlike foreigner 'John' who is asking for all the notes, I actually go to class, so I only need those two days... If anyone could help me out, it would be much appreciated...

A: That second sentence was completely unnecessary, nor will it convince anyone to give you the notes. It just makes you sound like an ass.

[intellectualconversations]

Just plain sad...

Dec12

Subj: Hello BMGT 380 Class mates...

Hi I am John... Can you send me 380 note of Final Exam? I go to class always but it is very hard for me because I am not Native Speaker... I had very bad grades the two exams...I thought there is curve but there is no curve..I just want to pass this class...my note is not very good I don't think i pass this class please send me your class note and i can study...i'll not forget that....thank you...

Dec13

Subj: Hi again...

Sorry again but can anybody sent me the notes...I need 90 at least to pass the class...my note is really bad I can't see...please send me the note...i'm so scared...thank you and good luck for all you guys....

Dec14

Subj: please i need help

could you please send me the notes...I know I am so miserable..but no one send me the note...I need help...please send me the note....I appreciase it...thank you...i wanna pass this class but veyr hard

[intellectualconversations]

Not a pedophile, I swear...

N: i didn't realize you were so into babies!

T: theyre pretty cool

N: they're cool to look at

N: but everything else kinda sucks about them

T: theyre soft

T: that sounds pervy

T: hm...

[intellectualconversations]

Uh I'm not your granddaughter...

S: hello

G: hi! how are you doing!!?!?

S: good how are you?

G: good! now listen to this, I just bought 2 virginia hams and [something else i dont remember] how would you guys like to come over tomorrow and have some with us?! how does that sound?

S: I am sorry, who is this?

G: it is your grandaddy!

S: ohhhh, hi! sorry.

G: what did you do tonight? did you go out?

S: ummmm no i stayed in?

G: what why?

S: uhhhh i dont know [and i am sounding like really cunfused this whole time]

G: well if i had known you were staying home alone tonight, i would have asked you to come with me to the strathmore to listen to some russian music!!!

S: ohh?

G: you sound [something], or are you just growing up?

S: i am just growing up

G: so listen, do you guys want to come over tomorrow?..........

S: [convo ends] and then i just hung up. b/c i finally realized i had no idea who he was. and yes, he was clearly someone else's grandfather

[intellectualconversations]

Wrong typo = wrong interpretation...

T: and then i was washing his face

J: wait, you were washing his face?

J: how does that work

J: i would not trust you with your hands on my face

J: interesting concept

T: NO

T: I WAS WASHING MY FACE

T: hahahahhaa i wrote that wrong

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Peke-a-tese porn...

T: dumplings rumpus is on my laptop

T: accept vidchat and loook!

L: i cant talk [in classroom]

L: ugh

L: taking pics

L: lovely

L: yes

L: go back to his face

L: i want to take a profile pic

L: got it

L: him licking

L: perf

L: k im done

[intellectualconversations]

A ruined laptop at stake...

J: you did say he is weird like you

J: so maybe he was flustered

J: slash awkward

T: yeah i think at that moment it was a bit awkward

T: but the rest of the time with him wasnt!

T: ok that sounds like dirty

T: i didnt mean it to

J: omg

J: i almost just spat my water out onto my laptop

J: when i read that