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Dry Wash near Furnace Creek, Death Valley National Park, Inyo County, 2020.
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Dry Wash near Furnace Creek, Death Valley National Park, Inyo County, 2020.
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Hi Am I overreacting for expecting my boyfriend to wash his hands after using the bathroom before touching my face?
Hello, I have been with my boyfriend for 13 years. We are both under 30 years old. We do not live together. One day he went to the bathroom (peed), he came out after. As the door was opening I observed I didnāt hear the sink run (he has a bathroom connected to bedroom and it was quiet).
So I asked him, as kind as I thought I could be āHey, Did you wash your hands?ā He then proceeded to wipe his hands on my face (before answering my question). Then said no. So I looked visibly disgusted Iām sure, and I canāt recall exactly what I said besides something along the lines of wash your hands I think thatās disgusting.
He proceeds to tell me he didnāt touch anything at all (possibly flipped the lid with his foot-not entirely sure Iām not in there when he pees, pulled his pants down only, didnāt touch his area, jumped a little at the end, and flushed the toilet with his foot). And I said I am still uncomfortable because door handles can be touched and pee splatter ect. I would just be more comfortable and he washed his hands after the bathroom.
He then said, his hands are clean he washed them all day long. He has a cat and pet hamster he cares for that he says requires him to wash his hands a lot. (He washes his hands after he cares for them). He continued to try to put his hands on my face through this entire conversation. As Iām literally backing away and trying to avoid this (we were standing for the conversation, he has a big bedroom).
He then proceeded to say he is logically correct and this whole reaction Iām having towards this is all in my head, because logically everything makes sense. (Because I agreed well if you are claiming you didnāt touch anything then sure logically your hands should be clean).
Am I overreacting for expecting my boyfriend to wash his hands after using the bathroom and refusing to let him touch my face until he did?
EDIT: He is a clean person who showers brushes his teeth and all. Iām just talking about one specific issue that bothered me. Also if he poopsā¦..yes he washes his hands. Itās just related to this one issue.
Just to clarify, this isnāt something he does in public. He washes his hands when weāre out. This has only happened at home. My issue wasnāt that I think heās generally unhygienicāit was that he didnāt wash his hands this time and kept trying to touch my face after I said I was uncomfortable.
Reddit consensus: NOT OVERREACTING (NOR) (97% confidence)
Top comment: āNOR but that isnāt even the point, you were telling him how you felt and he disregarded you and made fun of it by rubbing his hands on your face as you told him it was gross.ā
Notable comment: āNOR. Your boyfriend is fucking disgusting. Yuck.
Your edit doesn't actually help. So he washes his hands after pooping, but he didn't wash his hands before flushing, right? And he uses the same button to flush after pissing, right? Because we both know he doesn't do that with his foot, that's ridiculous.
Oh, while we're at it, does he put the lid down before flushing? If not then that's also disgusting and another reason why he should be washing his hands. Though if he does put it down before flushing then he should also be washing his hands as it's have touched it after shitting as well then.
Yeah, he's not as clean as you think he is, nor as he thinks he is. When was the last time that he cleaned his phone? Yeah, totally unrelated to the toilet, but just wondering.ā
Do you agree with Redditās consensus?
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Originally shared by Healthy-Studio8419 on r/AmIOverreacting on July 1st, 2026 at 4:20 PM UTC. Credit to u/canaderin and u/Corodix for the quoted comments.
