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Happy Lenting

Editor: I figured out what I'm giving up for Lent: Hope.

Writer: Shouldn't be that hard, have we ever had all that much?

Editor: The shit keeps turning up again no matter how many times I lose it. It's like a bad penny.

I want pie. And to watch agents of shield but instead we are watching rankin bass because family. I love Rudolph but with this many drugs it's a little unsettling. And by "it" I mean my urge to write a rankin bass nightmare before Christmas crossover.

Writer had a hard holiday season but the drugs were prescription

#writer #painkillers #pie #rankin bass #nightmare before Christmas

We actually like Loki even if it doesn't seem like it

Writer: I would be more pro-Loki if he weren't a mass-murdering shitball, but by god that boy has style.

Doctor: And you have hit upon the source of my bitterness and rage. I think Loki is a more interesting character than Thor, and I think his motivations are complex and compelling, and apparently fandom thinks this means I approve of the mass-murdering, which, to be fair, I'm not exactly hardcore set against it, but jesus christ, nuance, people.

#writer #doctor #loki #thor

I don't think I can let myself join tumblr. I wouldn't survive a 24-hour Cumberbatch machine.

Editor's famous last words

#editor #tumblr #benedict cumberbatch

Writer Needs An Addictive Habit

Writer: I feel like today is the nexus of not only the past two months but also the rest of the year's worth of stress. It's one of those "god damn I need a cigarette except it would give me lung cancer" days.

Editor: One cigarette won't give you lung cancer. It'll probably make you cough like a great big weenus, though.

Writer: Yeah, but you can't buy just one cigarette from a vending machine, and one pack of cigarettes will give me a habit again. Anyway with my luck I will actually literally cough up a lung. I should find a jamba juice. Or do they do smoothies in Starbucks now?

Editor: I don't think Starbucks has smoothies, but the closest one is 20 miles from here, so my information may be out of date. See, look on the bright side. Your life feels desolate, but it's not 20-miles-from-a-Starbucks desolate.

#writer #editor #smoking #starbucks #smoothies

Hating Joy Is A Full Time Job

Writer: I kind of like that this media is offensive, it gives me a reason to hate it beyond "Everyone else likes them and I hate joy."

Editor: I can't believe you need a reason beyond that.

Writer: Well, I personally don't, but it's nice to be able to quote one to other people. "Because I am a contrary asshole" doesn't fly, oddly enough.

#writer #editor #hate

Writer Describes Tumblr

Writer: You can "follow" tags the way you might a community on LJ, except anyone can post to them and rabid fans of Tag X can get belligerent.

Editor: Ah, so this is what fourthvine means when she talks about tag trolling.

Writer: Yeah, there is tag trolling, but there are also people who police their tags with the vehement aggression of an angry 50's southern housewife.

Editor: But...who appoints them Keeper of the Tag? Doesn't that run counter to the spirit of anarchy built into the platform?

Writer: And you have hit upon the head the nail in the side of tumblr.

Editor: So something that was immediately obvious to a non-user as a flaw is central to the way people use the platform. Me like.

Writer: Tumblr is full of tiny mysteries. And crazy people. And pictures of Benedict Cumberbatch! And Night Vale racewank.

#writer #editor #tag trolling #wank #tumblr

SPN fans have the gall to call the Sherlockians crazy lately. (Stupid seductive Tumblr...) Did I wake up in Opposite Universe?

Editor has discovered tumblr

#editor #tumblr

Safety Measures Not Taken

Editor: To be clear, the person referred to here is not me: "an employee pushed open the gate in the dark and attempted to affix the bungee cord that holds the gate open. The bungee cord fell to the ground and when the employee attempted to pick it up she mistakenly grabbed a snake instead."

Writer: I know it's not you because if it had been you, I would have heard the screams from here.

#editor #writer #snakes

Spoiler: they did

Writer: "Summary: Contains clowns and graphic descriptions of sexual activity."

Editor: It doesn't say those things happen together, she said hopefully.

#writer #editor #clowns #graphic sex

The Moth Prophecies

Doctor: Augh. There is a moth trapped in our window on this plane. It wouldn't be so creepy if he weren't making "OH GOD LET ME IN IN THE NAME OF MERCY" pose...

Editor: This is the bug version of an alien abduction. Its life will be forever altered.

Doctor: Well, I'm pretty sure he's trapped between those window panes forever, so if by "altered" you mean "ended," then yeah.

Editor: Someday moth Robert Stack will do a segment* about him on Unsolved Moth Mysteries.

Editor: *Probably a thorax.

#doctor #editor #moths #alien abduction #puns

The Walgreens across the street has had broken HVAC for two days and I get angry if I'm in there for five minutes to buy a cola. I got mad at the sun yesterday, like legitimately furious that it was shining on me.

Writer really hates summer

#writer #walgreens #summer

Writer Will Fight This To The Death

Editor: Writer knows the difference between "less" and fewer. It's just that he knows it intuitively, as any native speaker with an IQ over room temperature ought.

Writer: I know the difference. Less has less syllables.

Editor: Every day I find fewer and fewer reasons not to kill you.

#editor #writer #less #fewer #grammar

Hot Aliens

Writer: If hiddleston and cumberbatch mated they would produce an actual alien as offspring. Tall, ginger, totally alien-faced.

Editor: I'd hit it.

Writer: Well, I mean, I'm sure it'd be a hot alien.

#writer #editor #tom hiddleston #benedict cumberbatch #ginger aliens

This is one of those days where I feel profoundly wronged by the universe because I lack the ability to unhinge my jaw and spit venom.

Doctor has some people to poison

#doctor #venom

TOO SOON