#InternetWinsWednesdays

A place for my top weekly internet wins. Posts come every Wednesday. This is going to be good.

[internetwinswednesdays]

Vin Diesel's Internet Dance Break - Bronze

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Post by Vin Diesel.

There's really no explanation needed, though it would be useful. It's about seven minutes of Vin Diesel dancing and singing to what could be considered "girly" music in a completely dude-like fashion for no apparent reason at all. Apparently he just really likes music, and Beyonce...of course.

[internetwinswednesdays]

Best Engagement Photo, Ever - Gold

There was a bit of a lag there when I didn't have much to post, and I got extremely sad.

The only thing people seemed to be winning was an unfollow, or two, from yours truly.

This photo was well worth the wait. 

[internetwinswednesdays]

Shopping Suicide Article "12 Gawkers Gawking" Comment - Gold

Two days ago, Gawker posted an article about a Chinese man who killed himself at a mall by leaping 7-floors to his death.  Apparently, he and his girlfriend had been shopping for 5-hours straight (I know plenty of guys who would kill themselves, too.) and his girlfriend didn't show any signs of stopping. So, in typical Gawker fashion, they used one key frame to help tell their story. 

 And the puns ensued. 

Clever, daw06831.

But, sorry, you didn't win the internet. No. Not you or the 50 other clever trolls.

The person who won the internet was BedandBreakfaskMan with his delightful rendition of 12 Days of Christmas — just in time for the holiday season.

Fa lalalalala lala la!

Internet gold.

[internetwinswednesdays]

Daily Show Deep Dish Vine - Silver

Recently, NYC's, or should I say, America's freedom Tower was named the tallest building in the US of A. Impressive? Sure. Did anyone really care? Nope. Well, at least no one in NYC.

Chicago, however, got all irate because their precious Sear's Tower was no longer the tallest building in United States. Darn.

Now, this wouldn't have been a problem if they didn't take this new-ish turn of events somewhere it didn't need to go.

To make themselves feel better about being second best, they decided to go on record and say, "Well, at least our pizza is still better".

PAUSE. WHAT?!? You talkin' to me?

I'll just let John Stewart take it from here. 

So, after this masterful rant, Mayor Rahm Emanuel, attempted to go for an internet win with a classic comeback tweet in response.

We also sent @TheDailyShow some real pizza for lunch today. No hard feelings? pic.twitter.com/sdnZ61EyTu

— ChicagoMayorsOffice (@ChicagosMayor)

November 14, 2013

Ouch. For a while there I thought he had it. Then John came back with this simply eloquent response.

WIN!

Chicago, you came close. But New York, brought it home. That'll teach, ya. 

[internetwinswednesdays]

Motherfuckingwebsite.com - Silver

"This is a mother fucking website. And it's fucking perfect."

Yes. Yes, it fucking is. And it's also pretty fucking hilarious, too, if reading is your thing.

Kudos, mystery man. 

[internetwinswednesdays]

Zappos.com Gear Sh-t Product - Gold

So Kayne West went off the deep end — again — and started talking shit about Zappos. His direct quote:

"I got into this giant argument with the head of Zappos that he's trying to tell me what I need to focus on. Meanwhile, he sells all this s--t product to everybody, his whole thing is based off of selling s--t product," 

Say, what?!?

But, whatever, Zappos took it in stride and fired back with this little gem. 

ZING!

BOOM!

"Interested in buying sh-t product? You've come to the right place! Here at Zappos.com, we happily sell sh-t products to everybody! This is the throne, everyone has been watching. Whether you're #1 or #2, your clique will show no mercy, even in Paris."

IN YOUR FACE, MR. WEST!

Internet gold.