Answering Questions
I semi-recently uploaded a Youtube video asking for questions.
Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lwHPJGhWy1w
And I've gathered a good amount of questions, and can now start answering them.
In the original video I was planning on making video responses, but since that is much more difficult to do I will answer questions on our blog rather than making so many videos. (I'm a perfectionist, each one takes a big chunk of the day to make!)
I will still be having videos on my Youtube channel, just not to answer questions unless a video response is specifically requested.
Some of these questions were asking for my personal experience, which I completely respect. Sometimes just gathering more experiences of people with the same type can be useful in finding patterns in their behavior. The result, though, is some storytelling mixed in with information I've gathered or concluded!
How were you as a child and how did you feel around family,friends and higher authority such as teachers?
QutieStar
I talked to some INTJs about their childhood, because no two people are the same and my experiences certainly don't sum up every INTJ child... especially since the word 'child' can cover so many ages, and behavior is different from one age to another.
I'll try my best with few consistencies I noticed, though! A majority of them liked to draw and colour, lots had collections, and they are typically quiet and curious.
As for myself as an individual, in earlier years I was loud, confidant, and demanding. I could speak at a very young age and would yell "I want a booby!" in public if I happened to want to be breastfed... resulting in my ESFJ mother's embarrassment.
When I got older I slowly got more quiet and did a lot of drawing and thinking. I was home schooled, and I never wanted to play with kids my age besides my siblings. At 'gym days' I would avoid talking to people, only watch them, then go off and sit in rooms by myself to think about little things I saw people do.
I remember my mom being frustrated with my lack of socializing, and other moms coming to talk to me and try to get me to participate. It bugged me allot.
I would cry every time I saw a dead animal, wanting to bury it. When I was little I tried to rescue a mouse from my vicious pet cat... the mouse bit me and I was taken to the hospital by my father.
My interactions with kids my age were awkward and experimental. I wouldn't question authority figures as long as they seemed to know what they were doing, I was way too absorbed in finding out why kids my age did things, and with my current 'obsessions' such as TV shows, certain toys, certain people, certain stories... etc. I always had something I was devoting huge amounts of time to in planning. I would ask my mother for a certain stuffed animal, then I would make a house and furniture and toys for it out of craft supplies a few weeks before my mother would go out and buy it for me.
I was a very intense, one-track-minded, antisocial kid.
Children have very poorly developed lower functions. The motivation of an INTJ child is probably mainly their Ni and Te. Also, sometimes INTJ children are mistyped as INFPs.
Here are some links of Personality Cafe posts concerning INTJ children:
http://personalitycafe.com/intj-articles/7281-intj-child.html
http://personalitycafe.com/intj-forum-scientists/90807-childhood.html
I hope some of that helped!
Why do you love INFJs so much? Have you noticed how INFJs and INTJs are the paired opposites? (Reality Systems Builder vs Social Systems Builder)
ryanearlmoore
First of all, check out Ryan's channel by clicking the username under his question. He has great INFJ videos, a broad knowledge of typology and NLP, and his best friend is an INTJ who also have great videos and works for iNtuitive Time- MrScottLott.
Think about it like this- if a 'Reality Systems Builder' and a 'Social Systems Builder' can get along and come to agreements and compromises, that's kind of powerful.
No two types are guaranteed to get along with each other by any means, but if an INTJ and and INFJ can make their friendship work, they're extremely good at understanding difficult concepts and working through tough social complications.
An INFJ's intuition is based on experiences of feelings- to a clever and developed INFJ, that's a very accurate and useful tool to have. Problem is, many INFJs have difficulties verbalizing their intuitive knowledge.
An INTJ's intuition is based on gathered information- a focused, attentive INTJ can have a huge spread of possibilities that they narrow down to the most probable, then test if it's not obvious to assure themselves that their idea is valid in the real world.
Sometimes all an INTJ needs for validation is someone they trust to be knowledgeable and capable on the subject to approve their theories. An INFJ, if trusted by an INTJ, is perfect for that because they have the same intuitive ideas of things and they affirm an INTJ's true theories, because they will have felt the same way about the subject only quite possibly without words.
As a result, an INTJ can make an INFJ feel more 'human' by verbalizing their thoughts and feelings, and an INFJ can affirm and simplify the observations of an INTJ.
Also, an INTJ tries to 'master' whatever takes their interest- they 'never know enough' about a subject that they really like. True friends have the potential to be a huge focus in an INTJs life, and they will try to understand their friends to the best of their ability.
INFJs want to be needed, understood, supported, affirmed, and loved- sometimes more then anything. INTJs have the potential to offer all of these things to close friends.
The ultimate result of a compatible INTJ and INFJ is very great, but they should both always be cautious of the various things that could mislead them from the truth when they search for it together without any other external opinions! Though you'll usually have each other's backs, everyone is exposed to self deception and sometimes when two people are close they can fall into the same deception together.
Im also an intj. Have you ever been frustrated being misunderstood? With me im at the point where id actually like to meet other intjs! Never find em. Lmao. What kind of problems have you had with past boyfriends if i may ask. Im quite confused at my personal situation so maybe tell me how you dealt with breakups , for example lol
vernopa
Being misunderstood is really common for INTJs- we say one thing, but we don't always mean it as bluntly as we say it. Worse, many other types just don't 'get' us. I sympathize, but keep in mind INTJs aren't the only deep ones.
LOTS of people have inner worlds, deeper understandings, abstract thoughts, etc. The thing is, not many people make the effort to find eachother. So many people assume that no one cares about them and who they are- rightly so, not many people do.
I've made many friends by picking quiet people and expressing my interest in them. You'd be surprised how much some 'quiet' people have to say. I find that if I'm genuinely interested in digging into people's 'inner worlds', many respond enthusiastically. Uh... just don't be creepy about it.
So basically, you probably don't think anyone wants to understand you, and that no one could. Do you want to understand anyone, and do you think you can? Try it- I have, it might work for you, too!
Problems with past boyfriends- personally I'm no longer interested in having a boyfriend for the time being. I've had experience with that sort of thing, and I, myself, have a hard time wanting to be physical with anyone. I get all my fulfillment from my close friends... it seems that the only difference between a close friend and a boyfriend is that a boyfriend you can be extra physical with. Until I'm ready to find a husband, I'll probably stay away from 'boyfriends'.
I have had a few boyfriends though in the past. I found my biggest problem with them was that they put me on a pedestal- I could do no wrong in their eyes, and they'd confess undying love for me when I really didn't feel as if they knew me. It made me very uncomfortable- but not as uncomfortable as when they would attempt to kiss me. (I could never let them at the level of trust and understanding I was at with either of them)
I much rather be good friends with a guy first, that way we know each other and our boundaries- not to mention we would know each other well enough for confessions of love to actually mean anything at all. And if you're already friends with them, then your question is far too broad for me to answer simply enough because people are so different!
I've never had to break up with a guy that I was extremely attached to. The two times I had broken up were stressful occasions with lots of regret for letting the situation become anything in the first place, and mixed feelings about myself and my commitments. It was, both times, the guy in the relationship that broke it off due to my insensitivity and lack of physical affection. I'm not surprised.
What do you think about introverted feeling? Is it categorically different as a function than extroverted feeling? What are some pragmatic ways that introverted feeling can lubricate introverted intuition, cohere extroverted thought?
antuerius
Introverted feeling is an interesting function, I'll write you a longer reply to this one and post it on this blog in the future.
Is it possible to be an INTJ who is bad at math? Ni is supposed to identify patterns and such so wouldn't that make them inherently good at it? lol.
SimplyTehDopest
I'm sure it's completely, 100% possible that there's an INTJ who's not good at math. INTJs are typically good at what they WANT to be good at, I'm sure not all INTJs care for math. Also, I'm sure overall intellect and psychological types are very separate. (Unless you're an INTP, then you must be automatically a genius! Ha... stereotypes are fun.)
There, guys! I tried my best, I hope some of this was helpful to you.