hiatus.

give me back my girlhood, it was mine first.

[into-the-wildernessss]

suddenly remembered this blog.

still going to therapy since 2018. still having flashbacks about that time of my life. still crying over the fact that i was only nineteen and couldn't tell anyone. still can't tell when someone's joking. still asking for reassurance every five minutes. still always panicking. still being afraid of pills even if I'm the one who has to take them now, but what if one day i lose control?

my heart is beating so hard as i write this even if no one will read it.

[into-the-wildernessss]

am i turning into them?

[into-the-wildernessss]

am i turning into them?

[into-the-wildernessss]

suddenly remembered this blog.

still going to therapy since 2018. still having flashbacks about that time of my life. still crying over the fact that i was only nineteen and couldn't tell anyone. still can't tell when someone's joking. still asking for reassurance every five minutes. still always panicking. still being afraid of pills even if I'm the one who has to take them now, but what if one day i lose control?

my heart is beating so hard as i write this even if no one will read it.

[dr0wnedperfectionist]

Being depressed is really weird because you want someone to care enough to check on you but you don’t want someone to care enough to worry about you

[sseuregis]

FAVOURITE KOREAN DRAMAS » Let’s Eat

“To you who used to eat a lot of rice because you are lonely… To you who sleeps a lot because you are bored… To you who cries a lot because you are sad… I write this down. Chew on your feelings that are cornered like you would chew on rice. Life is something that you need to digest.”

[onlinecounsellingcollege]

“Shout out to everybody who’s trying to get their life together. Working on yourself is the hardest part of life. The rest comes after.”

— Unknown

[shacklefunk-deactivated20220623]

why do mosquitoes have to leave itchy bites. cant they just drink blood w/o ruining my day, like i have a lot of blood, u can have some, this is just excessive

[heavensghost]

All too well

[uptional]

[positivi-bees]

More little things that make life worth living. The feeling of your favorite stuffed animal in your arms, the sense of nostalgia and love when re-reading your favorite books, the thud of the bass vibrating your bones at a concert, the sound of crunchy leaves beneath your feet, holding hands with someone, all the details in beautiful eyes.

[rfirminos]

FIFA WORLD CUP 2018 CHAMPIONS

FRANCE France is winning the world cup after 20 years This is France’s second title.

[into-the-wildernessss]

🎉🎉🇫🇷

[different-landscapes]

[snarky-gourmet-deactivated20250]

r there no fireflies in europe??

[snarky-gourmet-deactivated20250]

british person: *sees 10 million fireflies* i litcherally con’t believe my eyes

[overcalm]

[steals-dreams]

[lesbianshepard]

back when i was suicidal in high school the tiniest things would make me want to kill myself but also the most trivial things would stop me

i remember looking at a bottle of sleeping pills and going “i’m going to kill myself. i’m not going to get out of this town. i’m not going to be able to get into a good college” and then i would go “but wait! if you die tonight, you won’t be there when they invent time travel. what if you die tonight and aliens land tomorrow and you miss it. the entire world would change and you would miss it.” “ah, yes. good point. i’ll wait until next week to die. once i’m dead i’m dead, so i can wait a little longer to see if something cool happens before then.”

it never did but it brought me back from killing myself until i started seeing a psychologist and got on antidepressants 

[lesbianshepard]

people are re-blogging this and i dont mind b/c they’re relating to it so that’s nice if it’s helping ppl understand

the whole “you have so much to live for!” idea was nice and well intentioned, but i felt like people were just spouting bullshit at me because i didn’t. i didnt have any friends or dates or talents.  i had nothing to really live for.

but things like “oh, well if you die now you won’t be able to find out who jon snow’s mother is” did help. because i went “oh, well i’ll finish this book to figure out if my theory is right first.” because i was going to die anyway so a few more hours wouldn’t hurt and by the end of the book i felt less suicidal. 

also years later i found out i was right about my theory. 

[thelanabo]

This exact thing has helped me so much. Things like, “Well you can’t now because it’s Thanksgiving and you’ll ruin it, wait until after” “well now it’s almost Christmas so do it next year” “Well you can’t before you see how Game of Thrones ends” “Think of all the cats you haven’t pet yet” the trivial things have always helped me more than the whole, “people will miss you, you have so much to live for”

Find something to make you hold on a little longer, even if you take it hour by hour or day by day. Even if it’s just something like, “Well if I die tonight I won’t get to eat my leftover Chinese food tomorrow” it helps.

[fiveheaded-drunk-god-deactivate]

this post needs more notes and attention!

[femmevibezz]

This👏is👏fucking👏important👏

[mingdliu-deactivated20210422]

“I was born a garden and life gave me seeds some didn’t grow but others bloomed gracefully I tried to show them off their colors, their strength the way they moved with the wind and shined in the sun The days it rained too hard they wither until it was no more but always, there was always another bulb waiting for the first day of spring so it could reveal itself again.”

— Ming D. Liu, Blooming, Always Blooming