Into Gold @intogold - Tumblr Blog

You’re doing your running. That’s fine. Do it. I think what I want for you most of all is loosen your grip. Like an aunt that lives far away and isn’t necessarily the warmest -- I feel like I’ve got a solid grasp on how ya livin. Been there. Seent it.

You’re not the only one that feels, but you might be the only one that refuses to believe that. And everyone feels strongly, too. You feel isolated because you are isolating. That’s it that’s all.

Life Ages Ya Strange

Currently in my first apartment with a partner in Pittsburgh. Most of my friends have moved away because I have adventurous friends, and I’m still testing the idea putting down roots. I mean, still testing putting down roots after moving to Costa Rica for 4 months to learn massage therapy and then moving back. Feels a little like a blip. Whatever. I wanted to learn and I did.

Maybe I’m actually not supposed to put down roots. Probably not supposed to anything, really.

It’s lonely without many friends, but I do have Dino. He is a retired Vietnam vet that used to come into the market and have coffee. He’s lonely too, and it’s an honor that he feels comfortable telling me he’s had a rough go at it. I told him I am too, and I told him I bought 17 houseplants because of it. He’s surprised every time I call him my friend. I really wish he’d feel better about himself to just know that it’s true all the time, not just when I say it. But I know it makes him feel good to hear it.

I think I will get him a houseplant. A really hearty one that isn’t hard to care for. I think it will make him feel loved when he looks at it, and I want him to feel loved.

xxziggystardust

a-sfyksia-deactivated20190417

Ίσως να μη μου λείψει το μικρό σπίτι, οι άβολοι καναπέδες, η υγρασία, ο φόβος το βράδυ όταν όλη η περιοχή έμενε σκοτεινή και σχεδόν άδεια, το άγχος όποτε έβλεπα τους συνομήλικούς μου γείτονες κι ήξερα ότι δεν θα προσαρμοστώ ποτέ σαν αυτούς.

Νοσταλγώ όμως αυτές τις γλυκές στιγμές γαλήνης, το πρωινό φως στο δωμάτιο, το άρωμα καφέ που έφτανε σε κάθε γωνιά.

Αγαπώ τις στιγμές μαζί σου όταν πρωτοήρθες να με δεις. Αλλά μαλακίες λεω, έχω στιγμές μαζί σου και στο νέο σπίτι. Και θα φτιάξουμε κι άλλες, πολλές, όταν έρθεις να μείνουμε μαζί. Κι όπου ζήσουμε οι δυο μας εν τέλει.

Α ναι, κάτι έλεγα. Αφαιρέθηκα. Ωραίο φως είχε η κρεβατοκάμαρα.

Do I write less now that I have a true blue? was love all i wrote about? guess it’s the most important thing, huh?

It definitely is, and that doesn’t ever change. What a nice thing about life on this planet.

loumargi

Andrew Wyeth Blackberry Picker

I’ll fill our home with beautiful art that I never framed and I’m sure he’ll find the frames they need to make sure they are well taken care of.

Being sure

is something else.

julinatt

One year and fifteen pounds of indulging in loving.

I am making up for lost time. How decadent it is to be loved and to love! I'm gobbling it all up!

I will be leaner again at some point when I need to be. I welcome this time of softness.

I’m rounder when I’m not challenged. Is that new stretch marks or am I just hypercritical now? If I cut off my hair will I feel better, will I cool down and chill out? Will that let me relax? I’d like some ice cream without hating myself.

I spent all this money to learn how to fight and all I got was scared to death of men again. My favorite show has returned and all the characters I loved so dearly are flat and feeble and every woman is a bitch or sex or in dire straits and no one has an ounce of humanity and every man I know loves to talk about the art of it all and I want to gaggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg

Loving

While we are living in the beginning phases of total dystopia, I am taking note of the moments I will look back on as the sweetest parts of life. I am spending a lot of time snuggling and eating well.

Never winter, false spring

This inbetween is a heavy but not too crushingly heavy weight directly on my chest. I find myself gasping for breath and although the air is a warm cool, I can’t quite catch it.

Is it better to have been away from wild during this sick winter? I cried when I saw the daffodilis, usually such a nice friend to see after a long spell of darkness. Does anyone get real rest in this half-light?